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Friday, October 10, 2003
no explanation needed. just sit back and revel in the buzz.
posted by uncle grambo |
Don't be so quick to walk away! Get ready for tomorrow night's SNL featuring J. Timbo in both host and musical guest duties. Will we see a Cameron Diaz cameo? I say the chances are good, but what do whatevs.org's resident SNL experts believe? Find out as Nummer and H-Bomb reveal their pre-show thoughts...
Thursday, October 09, 2003
in order to bring this to you as quickly as poss, I'm going to post Nummer and H-Bomb's review of last weekend's Jack Black / John Mayer episode before final coding is complete. it will be fully coded later this eve (I know how much you love the Coney graphics!), but until then, enjoy!
they ain't that smart! New York City Police Departmen Chief Joseph Esposito cut Bruce Springsteen's security escort to a recent gig at Shea Stadium after The Boss performed his controversial "American Skin (41 Shots)" the night before. The song is about Amadou Diallo, an African immigrant who was shot 41 times by New York's finest as he reached to pull out his wallet. no buzz for NYC (via Big Matt).
Obvs (via Peabs, natch)!
hey sailor, you look FABULOUS in that Yukon! The Big Three slowly test the gay and lesbian market. in today's Detroit News, M. Hudson Hawk explores the ways in which the notoriously conservative auto industry is branching out and courting this community with spending power estimated at $450 billion.
i will go down with this ship! Dido sells more than 191k copies of her new "Life For Rent" album to land at #4 on this week's Billboard charts. OutKast, Da Band and Sting came in at #1, 2 and 3 (respectively).
power to the people, y'all! first it was Creed, now angry fans are suing Limp Bizkit for sucking in concert. the class action lawsuit was filed on behalf of 172 "displeased" concertgoers who (get THIS!) are actually pissed that Durst only played for 15 minutes during a Summer Sanitarium concert in Chicago earlier this year. you may recall this is the same night that Limp was pelted with garbage and the crowd chanted "Fuck Fred Durst." no buzz for these clowns, who wants more Durst? i say 15 minutes is plenty.
and as Radiohead gets ready for two sold out performances at Madison Square Garden, The New York Post reveals that there are a healthy number of people who actually despise the band. The article quotes a blogger named Tiffany who says, "Hell, to me, they're probably the worst band ever." now c'mon Tiff, that's a little overboard, innit? the article goes on to quote Chuck Klosterman and a "freelance Web producer" named Laura Young, better known to you as Miss Modernage. as for your Uncle Grambo, I've actually come around on "Hail To The Thief" ... it was relatively common knowledge that I was v. disappointed in the record when it first came out, but I decided to give it another shot about a month ago. it is with this knowledge that I can definitely say that the record is a "grower" (no, I didn't say a "growler", you sicko). if you wrote off "HTTT" after a listen or two earlier this year, I encourage you to give it another go and you might just find a few hott traxx. guaranteed. UPDATE: TMFTML also read this article and proceeds to absolutely go OFF on Chuck Klosterman. Witness the quickness:
"Okay, first of all, fuck you, Klosterman. Second, the hipster's dirty little secret is that he actually likes those pants. Third, fuck you, Klosterman. Fourth, you don't have to have a concrete opinion for liking or disliking anything; ever heard the word "visceral," dickwad? Fifth, quoting an AOL entertainment guide editor as an expert is a bit like asking a priest for contraceptive advice; they have an opinion, but it's wrong and it's going to kill you. Sixth, fuck you, Klosterman. Seventh, this is a remarkably stupid article even by The Post's standards. Eighth, why does everybody get so worked up about a band that is essentially Coldplay with intellectual pretensions? The Bends was pretty good, sure, but Him With the Crazy Eyes gyrating spastically while mumbling "there there" isn't exactly a religious experience, is it? (Unless your religious experiences, like ours, consist mainly of boredom, discomfort, and frequent checking of the watch.) Okay, that's about all we want to say on this one. Oh, and, uh, fuck you, Klosterman."
oh yeah, congrats go out to The Information Leafblower on the new site design. mikey likes it.
last but not lizz, if you skipped out on Sugar Hiccup last night, you missed out on an evening of pure hottness. werd to Peabs, Damore, JP McKrengels, Friggs, Les / Cal, His Boy McElroy, Seantizz, H-Bomb, Sofae, Christina and everybody else who came together for an evening of pole dancing, bumping and grinding, multiple Jager shots, thousands of smokey treats and more hugs than you can shake a stick at. huge props for coming out to witness the end of an era ... ish!near the end of the evening, DJ Quiq revealed that the legendary "Sofa" nights are going to be re-launched in the not too distant future. HAWT! until then, there's always romantic evenings with Uncle Grambo and his hella fine iPod playlists. natch.posted by uncle grambo |
special bodyparts edition! Uma's breast and Goofy's nose ... as suggested by Kegzies of Glamorama fame.
posted by uncle grambo |
dear editors of Rolling Stone,
posted by uncle grambo |
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
looks like Brit Brit is taking a page from the Paris Hilton playbook these days. while it used to be sufficient back in the day to be "footloose and fancy-free", apparently The Aughts require starlets to be "pouty and panty-free" ...
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Props out to The Lawrs for delivering this fine JPG to me. And props also must go out to TMFTML for the funniest headline of the day, which was in reference to the ubiquity of Gawker editor Choire Sicha: "HE'S EVERYWHERE, LIKE PARIS HILTON'S PUBIC HAIRS ON THE PREP TABLE AT JAMIE KENNEDY'S RESTAURANT")posted by uncle grambo |
for I don't have the time to really collect a lot of thoughts on these next few subjects, but I've read them all and definitely believe that they're worth your time. and, oh yeah, they come from members of the FOW Nation who (get this!) are Real Professional Writers (unlike your Uncle Grambo, who's merely a Fake Amateur Blogger). mad buzz.
so you're pretty sure that the only reason to go out and buy the new issue of Esquire is for the Britney Spears photos, right? wrong. thanks to my boy Jeffrey Wells over at Moviepoopshoot.com, I've learned that said Esquire includes a kickass piece by renowned Hollywood reporter Kim Masters on DreamWorks production chief Walter Parkes. or, as Wells calls him, "The Man Who Brutalized Almost Famous." the article sounds like an interesting profile of a man both respected and reviled in Hell-Ay circles ... respected by the suits for his business acumen and reviled by the creative folks for being "overbearing in a Salieri kind of way." Wells' summarizes the article near the bottom of his column, but there's also great info on Michael Moore's "Dude, Where's My Country?" and Jonathan Demme's revision of "The Manchurian Candidate" set around the time of the Gulf War. buzzalicious.
revealed by Big Matt! "The O.C." will air at 9 pm on Wednesdays this fall, leaving "Tru Calling" to stand on its own two feet on Thursday nights. c'mon Dushku, we know you can do it! side note: 21 days til Damore's "Tru Hottness" party!
The Village Voice explains how to avoid getting sued by the RIAA and also reports that RIAA Stormtroopers are cracking down and fining independent record stores for carrying "illegal" product, such as DJ Mix Tapes and CDs. gotta hate the RIAA. but you gotta love The Gorilla for passing this along.
This is also The Voice's "Best Of New York" edition. Folks at the Metro Times and Real Detroit should take note, this is what your future "Best Of" issues could and should be looking like (gotta love that they specially formatted their website to be in sync with the printed version). Oh, and HUGE props out to Miss Modernage for being named by The Voice as Best Scenester. Imagine that, being named the "BEST Scenester" in a city filled with 8 million scenesters!?! hott and heavy buzz.
creepy con carne. Method One warns us that the ever kooky Angelina Jolie has taken to eating cockroaches, bees and larvae. your Uncle Grambo wished she would just stick to drinking Jack. and while we're on the topic of Method One, the more politically inclined FOWs out there should check out the recently launched 1115.org. both Method One and Cashilini have collaborated to create a site that revolves around "Uncommon Common Sense". They've got some especially good material to run with now that Ah-Nuld Schwarzenazi has been elected that state's governor (which, btw, has no buzz whatsoevs but will make for some good jokes).
yet another reason why you too should be reading Girls Are Pretty every single day.
although it was a battle more reminiscent of Shannen Doherty v. Paris Hilton than Magic v. Bird, whatevs.org and Glamorama have kissed and made up. These long-standing blogger allies had a major rift develop between them over a band as inconsequential as Stellastarr*, but cooler heads ultimately prevailed and we're back to giving each other HJs. uh, metaphorically speaking that is.posted by uncle grambo |
i have been having some issues with Yahoo Mail today and I'm unsure if this message got out to everyone it was intended to. so in lieu of potentially double emailing all of you who were on the list, I will post the message below. if you are interested in participating, please don't hesitate to drop me an email: markdgrahamATyahooDOTcom. the rest of the details are below.
posted by uncle grambo |
but are those your nipples or are you just happy to see me? seriously, WTF is going on there!?!? i've witnessed the glory that is The Rack Of Uma (both in "Dangerous Liasons" and paparazzi stizz) and there were NO flaws whatsoevs. There's just GOT to be a scientific explanation for this ... help!
posted by uncle grambo |
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
Bad news Detroit. Rookie Charles Rogers, the Lions' leading wide receiver, suffered a broken collar bone in practice today and is expected to miss the next 4-6 games!!! uh, Coach Mooch, HELLO!?! it's a bye week, what are you doing having contact drills? idiot!
some idiot over at The Black Table has the gall to actually DEFEND Fred Durst. thankfully I can report that the defense mainly consists of praising Durst because he's unabashedly WT and he sleeps with some of the world's hottest chicks. while this may be true, sleeping with Durst doesn't really raise HIS reputation, the more accurate statement is that it lowers the hottness of his conquests. what's next from The Black Table, "In Defense of Shockey"??? (link via Gawker)
thank the Lord that Matthew Tobey arrived in the nick of time to save the day by reporting that Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman are collaborating on a horror film! if this project ever comes to fruition, be on the lookout for a "Kill Bill" level of buzz.
Tracklisting for the new Tori Amos greatest hits CD. I haven't listened to a Tori album start to finish in eons ... think I'll throw on "Under The Pink" this evening. Thanks to Fluxblog for pointing me in this direction (while you're there, check out Matthew's review of Saturday's R.E.M. concert at Madison Square Garden. makes me wish I would've shelled out for tix to their show a few weeks back).
first there was the collapse / cancellation of Big Sonic Heaven, now Detroit is preparing to mourn the loss of Sugar Hiccup. yes kids, it will be harder than ever to get your dreampop / shoegazer / trip-hop fix on, as tomorrow night marks the final night that DJ Quig and Melissa Emily will man the wheels of steel at Royal Oak's Fifth Avenue Ballroom. after the short-lived run of "Sofa" fridays downtown, Sugar Hiccup Wednesdays were always a popular midweek draw for the FOW Nation, most notably for JP McKrengels, Damore, Peabs, Brennan CopperKrengels and His Boy McElroy. but over the past year and a half or so, most of the FOWs have made their way out for at least one night of SH, where the DJs spun the likes of The Verve, The Cocteau Twins, New Order and The Smiths (among others). Sugar Hiccup also was the site for your Uncle Grambo's Birthday Bash back in August, and although I can't really remember if YOU had a good time, I sure as shit did. some come on out tomorrow for one last night of aural pleasure the likes of which you won't hear unless you spend an intimate evening with Uncle Grambo's iPod. from the emails that have been flying around, sounds like most peeps will be arriving between 9:30 and 10pm. see you there.posted by uncle grambo |
but when I was flipping through magazines at Tower last night and saw this ad, I remembered that being completely beguiling is another thing altogether. Cate Blanchett ... so mesmerizingly hott. so immortal! so best!
posted by uncle grambo |
with all the Brit Brit hottness over the last few weeks, gotta say that I'm really disappointed with her new album cover. i know that with an artist as recognizable as Britney, the only real goal of an album cover is to make the her face as prominent and recognizable as poss. but couldn't the art department over at Jive have put a little more effort into this particular project? like, seriously. what is intrinsic in the design of this cover that makes me say "I need to own this album"? go out and hire a photog with some gusto. bring in Matthew Barney and see what happens (I'm sure Bjork's sugar daddy could benefit from some mainstream exposure). and I'm totally on the same page with my boy Catch Dubs (who I ripped this link from) that the font choice here is positively atrocious, but certainly not unprecendented. Britney, Britney, Britney ... I was hoping for more. oh well, I'll just have to settle for those ridiculously best Esquire shots.
least relevant headline ever? Ben Harper puts L.A. concert on DVD. most interesting headline of the day? Why "Rubber Ring" Is The Best Song Ever. thanks to the article's writer, Jake Brown, I've now learned that the song's title does NOT refer to a condom, rather to a floatation device. idiot! (UPDATE: Our Fine Feathered FOW in Our Nation's Capital has emailed to inform me of the following: "Rubber ring is actually an English term for a pacifier, and that's what Morrissey was referring to in the song...not an inner tube. Come on, Mark. You're better than that." buzz!?!)
i don't understand what people see in Damien Rice, the winner of this year's Shortlist Prize. when Damore and your Uncle Grambo hit NYC on this summer's "Unprotected Hottness Tour", we saw Mr. Rice perform on "The Late Show With David Letterman" ... it was a snoozer performance, trust me. No different than Tom McCrae or any number of widely heralded acoustic pussbags from across the pond who mistake "quiet" for "deep." no buzz.
"...and I don't CARE if you're bilingual!" ever wonder what whatevs.org would look like if I spoke Spanish? wonder no more! # BLAH INFORMACION ABSURDA PARA UN MUNDO ABSURDO.
this one courtesy of Beat Royalty and New York Magazine.
posted by uncle grambo |
Monday, October 06, 2003
no word on whether or not Val Kilmer is packin' on the pounds for a John Ritter biopic. developing...
posted by uncle grambo |
i kept these pics small so the site stays (relatively) SFW, but be sure to check around before you click through on either one of these photos for the full revelation. jesus h christo on a popsicle stizz (images from the new Esquire and courtesy of Britney Images).
what does it say about the great state of Michigan when the best quarterback (college or pro) is a cokehead? yes indeed, The Spartys are on a major roll and have broken into the Top 25 after smoking Indiana, while The Lions and my beloved Wolverines both tanked this weekend. But while we all knew that the Lions would experience some growing pains with Joey Heisman at the helm, the last three weeks have been wildly disappointing for fans of the Maize and Blue, especially considering we were talking National Championship after dismantling Notre Dame only a month ago. The Oregon game was a disaster on all fronts, they looked sloppy and uninterested against the overmatched Hoosiers, and their special teams self-destructed versus the Hawkeye frauds. It's time to face facts, the only hope that still exists for this team is to whoop on the Spartys and the Buckeyes and to hope that Iowa loses another game. But anyway you cut it, this season is a disaster. Braylon has been exposed (total butterfingers), we've learned that Chris Perry is a fourth-round draft pick at best and that John Navarre is destined to go down as the worst quarterback in the storied history of the University of Michigan. Like even worse than Michael Taylor, if that's possible. Forget Griese or Todd Collins, I would settle for Scott Dreisbach at this point! worst. season. ever.
the geniuses over at Panera have done it again. first of all, i didn't realize there was even such a THING as "raviolini" ... yeah, I've heard of ravioli but who knew you could add an "ni" on the back and it became soup? if you get the hankerin' for a good soup this fall, I highly recommend their Low-Fat Tomato Raviolini, which is heartily described as "petite ravioli simmered in a garlic tomato broth with red pepper, onion, garlic, carrot, celery, Italian-style green beans and fresh basil." oh so tasty.
my boy Kegzies and I have reconciled and it is with great pleasure that I direct you to his excellent review of "Diary", the new book from Chuck P. Gotta say that I love the format of the review (20 questions) and it drove an instant Amazon.com purchase. buzz.posted by uncle grambo |
so disappointing. i like Crazy Nipple Exposing Courtney as much as the next guy (see "24 Hours Of Love"), but Overdosing Nipple Exposing Courtney is just plain sad. who knew that the lyrics of "Celebrity Skin" would prove to be so autobiographical? here's hoping that she cleans up and gets some much-needed help.
i've said it before and i'll say it again. i heart Dido. some lucky bastard at The New York Times recently got to spend an evening with her. and although the evening sounded pretty yucky (she was jet lagged and thought her voice sounded busted), I can attest that she looked tres magnifique and sounded heavenly when she performed on "Letterman." buzz (link via Miss Modernage).
too bizarre to even comment. I'm sure that Letterman and Jon Stewart are going to have a field day with this one, especially if he ends up living. Roy (of Sigmund And Roy fame) mauled by tiger (link via The Gorilla).
and I know that The Gorilla reported on this late last week, but The Q Awards were recently held across the pond. In the grand scheme of things, the awards themselves are completely inconsequential but you can always count on the Roti de Boefs for some good celeb gossip, as was the case when Baby Spice snogged Simon Le Bon, much to the chagrin of Le Bon's wife. And I don't know if you saw any X-Tina photographs from that evening, but it's the best she's looked in well over a year. Tasty.posted by uncle grambo |
ah yes! I'm back from the East Coast where I got my fill of Clam Chowda and Harpoon Ale. because of an extremely full schedule, I didn't even get a chance to surf whatevs.org until Saturday morning. thanks to the raw talent and incomparable skillz of The Gorilla, the FOW Nation didn't miss a beat. congrats and thanks go out to The Gorilla for a job well done ... the content managed to cover an extremely wide range of topics (rappers who murder, Courtney Hole overdose, Rush resets) in an extremely timely fashion and the FOWs responded with some fierce discourse on the backBlog. but as a reader, I must admit I was a little disappointed that The Gorilla failed to cover the TWO most important topics of the week ... Brit Brit's nips and Brit Brit's ass!
by now, I'm sure you've all seen the new cover of Esquire. anytime there is breaking news regarding Britney's bodyparts, I'm in the loop. so I rushed out during lunch on Thursday to a few local newsstands in search of this issue to no avail, and all my attempts at locating the most highly anticipated magazine release since the Belinda Carlisle Playboy were thwarted. damn the man, why must you tempt me like that! but it wasn't until Saturday morning that I witnessed the glory of a braless Brit Brit on the streets of New York, nips a-blazin'! it seemed to put a cap (if there's a pun there, it's intended) on a recent string of celebrity nip sightings, everyone from Kate Mizz to Daryl Hizz to random runway models. and while Mariah didn't EXACTLY follow the trend of exposing her nips, she opted to reveal ridiculous amounts of side cleavage. alas...
but then again, The Gorilla did stoop into your Uncle Grambo's celebrity dirt covered Steve Maddens to report on the Durst / Berry love connection. but thanks to my muckraking friends over at Page Six, we now have more info on how Durst wooed Jinx. apparently he programmed a special set of songs into his iPod to "impress" her, including Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors" and Al B. Sure's "Night And Day". I don't know what's lamer, the inclusion of these songs on an iPod mix or the fact that apparently this attempt to "impress" Halle Berry worked!?!
heavens to migatroid! jeepers even! what is the world coming to? it's one thing to add your subversive spin (by Hollywood standards, anyway) to movies like "Josie & The Pussycats" and the "Scream" franchise, but this one smacks of desperation. your Uncle Grambo is sad to report that Parker Posey will be starring in "Blade 3" ...
enough said. from today's Page Six "Sightings" section ... "PARIS Hilton (with her shirt inside-out) table-dancing with a midget and some ad execs at Club Motorock in South Beach."
finally, huge props to Jack Black for the $20mm plus opening that "School Of Rock" had this weekend. who woulda thunk that JB would've been able to top both Denzel and The Rock at the B.O.? buzz buzz buzz. if you haven't gone out to see "School Of Rock" yet, you're missing out. definitely a high ranking candidate for this year's Grahammys.posted by uncle grambo |