SNL Season 29 – REVEALED!

 

 

Episode 12: Drew Barrymore/Kelis (2/14/04)

 

The Rating System:

4 Coneys – Best Ever

0 Coneys – Worst Ever

 

Totals:

 

0-10 Coneys – Garbage

11-20 Coneys – Needs Improvement

21-30 Coneys – Average

31-40 Coneys – Above Average

41-51 Coneys  - Instant Classic

55+ Coneys - Unparalleled SNL Genius

 

OAD: Original Airdate

 

 

 

Pre-show Comments (2/13/04):

 

Jason:  Drew Barrymore shows are usually memorable.  Her last hosting duty back in 2001 featured so many cast members breaking character, that to this day it has never been rerun on NBC or E!.  Actually, in doing some digging around on the internet, there are two other Barrymore episodes (pre-2001) that have never been rebroadcast.  So much mystery buzz!  Catch her episodes live, or don't catch them at all.

 

All that aside, this week's SNL has to deliver.  Every episode in 2004 has thus far been pretty lousy.  Adding this week's news of Jeff Richards' firing only adds to the pressure.  Lorne, Beth and crew really need to pick up the pace if they expect people to keep tuning in.  A surprise cameo by Barrymore's "50 First Dates" co-star Adam Sandler would be nice, but I'm not holding my breath. 

 

As for Kelis?  Add her to the list of Season 29's ever growing pile of useless and buzz free musical guests. 

 

Heather: I'm thinking that Drew Barrymore could be just what SNL needs to pull it out of it's comedic slump.  I find her to be a terrific actress, plus she's funny and spontaneous, which is perfect for live sketch comedy.  Personally, I think the very best Lovahs skit is the hotub installment from when Barrymore hosted back in 2001.  Even Ferrell could barely contain himself! And let's not forget the "King Kong" sketch, which would've been extremely boring had not everyone been struggling not to laugh the entire time!  Let's all keep our fingers crossed that Barrymore won't let us down this time around.

 

Kelis, on the otherhand, I don't really have a strong opinion about.  I don't exactly like the milkshake song, but I don't exactly hate it either.  Let's just say I'm not really looking to see a full coney performance.  

 

 

1.  Cold Opening:  Al Gore Democratic Support             

Premise:  Al Gore gives John Kerry a supportive phone call

 

Jason:  Although I’m not opposed to the political cold openers, this just felt like an excuse to get Hammond impersonating Gore again.  The concept behind it was funny, but his Gore impression is really tired.  Seth’s take on Kerry was again pretty entertaining, but none of the material here made you laugh out loud.

 

1 Coney

 

 

Heather:  What is going on with these cold openers lately?? It’s not even like Hammond and Meyers are bad as Gore and Kerry, respectively.  This opener just sucked ass, plain and simple.  Not one moment of the material was the least bit funny.

 

0 Coneys  

 

 

2.  Monologue:  Barrymore

 

Jason:  This monologue was a welcome treat simply because it wasn’t another musical opener.  Forte as ET was hilarious, as was Dratch playing “The Poltergeist Lady”.  I spent most of it trying to figure out who was in the Darth Vader costume though.  Whoever he was, it was pretty funny when he stumbled over the line “Lord of the Sith”.

 

2 Coneys

 

Heather:  While this idea has been done many times, this monologue was still somewhat bearable.  I think most of that was due to Darth Vader coming out as Barrymore’s dad!!

 

1 Coney

 

 

 

3.  Sketch:  A Very Special Valentine’s Versace 

Premise: Versace returns yet again, this time with a Valentine’s Day special 

 

Jason:   Fast Forwarded.

 

0 Coneys

 

 

Heather:  Honestly, what is the point of this sketch anymore??  Are things really so bad at SNL that they have to depend on one of the crappiest sketches for laughs??  Barrymore was so lame as Courtney Love as was Sanz’s Elton John, which actually used to get a few chuckles from me.  And don’t even get me started on Maya as Versace.  Worst.

 

0 Coneys

 

 

4.  Sketch:  Jarret’s Room 

Premise:   Recurring sketch in which college burnouts host a show streamed over the internet.

 

Jason:   Fast Forwarded.

 

0 Coneys

 

 

 

Heather:  Great….just what I wanted to see after fucking lame-ass Versace.  First of all, give it up on the “Hey Ya” song!  Second of all, your marijuana jokes AREN’T FUNNY!!!  Also, is Barrymore going to just scream all night?!  I really do feel like I’m watching some kind of high school production.  This is making Warren videos look like the best produced videos evs.

 

0 Coneys 

 

 

 

5.  Sketch: Access Hollywood  

Premise: Pat O’Brien interviews Oscar nominee Charlize Theron

 

Jason:  I don’t understand the need to make Pat O’Brien a recurring character.  All Fallon does is make nose jokes for five minutes.  I mean honestly, how many nasal jokes are left?

 

Barrymore’s Theron impression was pretty funny though.  The clip they recreated from “Monster” had me rewinding.  I liked the “pig face” movie clip too.  I guess other than Fallon’s annoying O’Brien character, this was a clever sketch. 

 

2 Coneys

 

 

Heather:  I’m actually getting pretty sick of Barrymore’s constant giggling throughout these sketches.  And she seems to be flubbing a lot of lines.  I mean, Fallon blubbering through a sketch I can handle, it happens all the time, but come on Barrymore!!  Her little movie bits were somewhat funny, especially the Monster clip, but I’m actually kind of wishing Sandler would’ve gotten the hosting duties for this episode.

 

1 Coney

 

   

 

 

6.  Commerical Parody: Octane

Premise: Movie trailer spoofing on the likes of The Fast and the Furious

 

Jason:   “Own the DVD before the movie”.  So best.

 

I have to admit it, Finesse Mitchell actually made me laugh here.  If he wrote this, he did a fairly good job at observing the cookie cutter trailers movies like Torque, 2 Fast 2 Furious and Biker Boyz give us.  This may be the highlight of the episode.

 

3 Coneys

 

Heather:  Whoa.  Is this Finesse Mitchell’s big come back??  Is he actually playing a non-gay character with different facial expressions?!  This was alright.  I really enjoyed how “realistic” the crash scenes were! 

 

2 Coneys

 

 

7.  Music:  Kelis #1 

 

 

Jason:   GA-bige.

 

0 Coneys

 

 

Heather:  I’m still amazed that the milkshake song has become as popular as it has.  It’s not that bad of a song, but it definitely does not seem like something that would catch on like it did, especially this full band rendition.  I think this sounded pretty bad myself, but I was really digging her cute little vest with the tails!

 

0 Coney

 

 

 

 

8.  Weekend Update

 

 

Jason:  Up until another completely unfunny Diana Ross impression from Maya, this was shaping up to be a decent WU.  The jokes, rants and overall delivery was much improved upon from the last three episodes.  I really liked Tina’s impression of the over-forty women addicted to online gaming.  Fey’s George W/KISS Army joke got a few out loud chuckles as well.  Too bad all momentum was killed by Maya.

 

2 Coneys

 

 

Heather:  Was this the shortest Weekend Update ever??  Oh well, I guess it worked out for the best.  Just like last week, I hardly even broke into a smile.  I was also annoyed with Maya as Diana Ross before she even opened her mouth.  An extremely disappointing WU y’all.

 

0 Coneys 

 

 

 

9.  Sketch:    Young Politicians at the Bar

Premise: Bush, Kerry, Clinton and Rodham-Clinton meet in a Connecticut bar in 1968

 

Jason:   So Will Forte is the latest George W. Bush.  Hmmm.  I like him much better than Hammond, although I’m not sure if I put him above Parnell yet.  I honestly think that if Parnell had more time to work on the impression, it would have improved.  Oh well.

 

This sketch was pretty good.  Forte’s Bush actually had me laughing the way he kept conversing with Kerry.  Hammond’s Clinton is almost as boring and overused as his Gore, but the younger spin he put on it helped a bit.  Barrymore didn’t seem to have much to do as Rodham, but overall the four of them had a funny chemistry going on. 

 

2 Coneys

 

 

Heather:  Why didn’t I ever think of Forte as President George W. Bush?!  He was actually pretty good at it!!  Unfortunately I didn’t find anything else too outstanding about this sketch.  It was ok, but it didn’t really seem to go anywhere. 

 

2 Coneys

 

 

10.  Sketch:  Larry King Live

Premise:  King interviews Anna Nicole Smith about her recent weight loss

 

Jason:   Here we have Fallon doing Norm MacDonald’s Larry King impression.  Real original Jimmy.

 

Barrymore as Anna Nicole was OK, but the whole “I’m a dumb blonde” angle, while accurate, relied too much on predictable jokes.  I really hope this doesn’t become a recurring segment.

 

1 Coney

 

 

Heather:  Fallon as Larry King??  I’m surprised he got through this sketch without laughing.  But then again, you know a skit is pretty bad when even Jimmy Fallon isn’t giggling or at least smirking.  It was sort of amusing when Barrymore kept whispering “biscuit” at the end, but I gotta say, I really did expect a lot more from this episode.   

 

1 Coney

 

11.  Sketch:  Spy Glass 

Premise: British Version of Entertainment Tonight  

 

Jason:   I thought this was decent when it showed up last Fall in the Ripa/Outkast episode, but this time was just a disaster.  Most of the jokes were getting absolutely no response and Meyers was even forced to do some damage control by agreeing a joke was going to long.

 

The only thing funny was Poehler’s three-way with the “non famous” hobbits.  Other than that, nothing!

 

1 Coney

 

 

Heather:  Alright, it’s official.  I do not like this sketch.  As with it’s debut back on the Ripa episode, I just don’t find the constant play on words humorous.  And what’s even worse is the fact that we have to put up with Fallon’s Pat O’Brien yet again.  If they insist on replaying skits, they could at least come up with one that is in fact funny.

   

0 Coneys

 

 

12.  Sketch:  The World of Scott Wainio  

Premise:  Wainio tries to see how many people will talk to an imaginary microphone 

 

Jason:   I had absolutely who this guy was, but after Googling the next day, Scott Wainio was revealed to be an SNL writer.  This was alright, but I don’t tune into SNL to see Candid Camera or Trigger Happy TV type stunts.

 

1 Coney

 

Heather:  What the fuck was this?!  Is this going to be a recurring sketch??  Who is that guy??  WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???!!!!!

 

1 Coney

 

 

13.  Sketch:  The White Stripes 

Premise:  The White Stripes fight crime

 

 

Jason:  Not bad.  Barrymore’s Meg White impression was hilarious – even down to the drum playing!  Fallon’s Jack White voice was pretty good too.  The only thing that kept this from true genius was the reworked version of “Seven Nation Army”.  Had the new “theme song” been funnier, this could have been one of lackluster Season 29’s best moments.

 

2.5 Coneys

 

 

Heather:  Wow.  I can’t believe I’m watching a sketch based around The White Stripes!!!  I’m not quite sure Fallon is portraying Jack very accurately, but Barrymore did a wonderful job as Meg with the super soft voice.  I would’ve liked to see this develop a little more however.

 

2 Coneys 

 

 

 

 

14.  Music:  Kelis #2   

 

Jason:  Vomit urine.

 

0 Coney

 

 

Heather:  The backup band sounds terrible!!  Not a good performance at all.

 

0 Coneys 

 

 

15.  Sketch:  The Prince Talk Show

Premise:  A talk show co-hosted by Prince and Beyonce Knowles

 

Jason:  Armisen!  Please write yourself a sketch that doesn’t involve Maya playing your sidekick.  It’s barely passable in Club Traxx and it really hit bottom with the Coco and Maisui Super Show.  This time around wasn’t as horrible as C&MSS because Armisen’s Prine impression was hilarious, however the guest stars drug it down.  Barrymore’s Pink was nothing more than a re-tread of Poehler’s Avril Lavinge from last Season.  Keenan’s George Clinton was good, but not enough to wipe clean the stain of Maya and Pink.  Good try though.

 

1.5 Coneys

 

Heather:  Armisen!!  His facial expressions were so best!!  Finally, a fairly funny and original sketch!!  “ I dig that.  Now dig this.”  Although Armisen definitely stole the skit, everyone did a pretty good job.  Even Maya, who usually annoys me with her singing (Gemini’s Twin excluded) was reasonable as Beyonce.  At least this mostly terrible episode provided a decent ending.

 

2 ˝ Coneys

 

 

Closing Comments:

 

Jason:   Man!  This episode didn’t even fall into the “Average” range.  What is up with this season?  When will Lorne, Beth and Fey learn that you can’t retain a core SNL audience with unwanted recurring sketches like Versache and Jarrett’s Room?  Please let Poehler, Forte, Hammond and Armisen loose on writing some crazy sketches.  Late last season and early this one, we saw how off-the-wall Forte’s humor could be.  Sketches like “Give up the Ham” (Latifah), “Husband in a Box” (Hayek) and “Speedreader” (Berry) were absolutely brilliant.  We need more of those. 

 

19 out of 60 Coneys

 

Heather:  Well, SNL sure didn’t pick up the slack with this episode.  The writing still appeared to be going downhill and Barrymore’s constant smiling and giggling only seemed to make it worse.  Which was strange because all of the laughing was what I remembered being funny about last time she hosted.  It must’ve just lost it’s appeal, I guess.  I still really like Barrymore, but everything about this episode was substandard at best.  This downward streak of SNL’s is really starting to get scary.   

 

12.5 out of 60 Coneys

 

SNL Coney Rankings:  Season 29 – REVEALED!

 

Jason

 

Andy Roddick/Dave Matthews – 41.5

Jack Black/John Mayer – 34.5

Justin Timberlake - 30

Alec Baldwin/Missy Elliot – 28.5

Halle Berry/Britney Spears – 27

Jennifer Aniston/Black Eyed Peas - 22

Al Sharpton/Pink – 21.5

Kelly Ripa/Outkast – 19

Drew Barrymore/Kelis - 19

Megan Mullally/Clay Aiken – 17.5

Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey/G-Unit - 17

Elijah Wood/Jet – 16.5

 

 

Heather:

 

Jack Black/John Mayer – 34.5

Andy Roddick/Dave Matthews – 28.5

Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey/G-Unit – 27.5

Justin Timberlake – 26.5

Halle Berry/Britney Spears – 24

Alec Baldwin/Missy Elliot – 24

Jennifer Aniston/Black Eyed Peas - 23

Kelly Ripa/Outkast – 20

Elijah Wood/Jet – 18.5

Al Sharpton/Pink – 17.5

Megan Mullally/Clay Aiken - 14

Drew Barrymore/Kelis – 12.5