whatevs (dot org)
piping hot content for your sexy bod
oh what rippling muscles!
Friday, February 28, 2003  

do not go gentle into that good night

have a great weekend FOWs of the world. remember, The Boss is on CBS tonight! don't miss out! c u l8r americans!

the boss

posted by uncle grambo |
 

punk rock is alive and well!

thanks to Rolling Stone!

she was a sk8r gurltuff!

er, maybe not.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

an open response to content found on Glamorama

there has been a friendly rivalry between whatevs.org and Glamorama ever since Kegzies launched his site last May or so. i don't know if you happened to swing by Glamorama yesterday, but Mike wrote a post praising "Songbird", the fourth single from Oasis' "Heathen Chemistry" album. while I personally have no opinions on the song (only listened to the album once and decided that once was enough), the post referenced a quote from Chris Martin that compared Liam Gallagher to Beethoven. i had heard this quote before, but its contextual placement within the post prompted me to compose this open response to The State Of BritPop ™ in 2003...

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Graham
Sent: Thursday, February 27, 2003 7:02 PM
To: Mike Kegler
Subject: liam as beethoven?

Monsieur Kegzies,

I just finished reading your post surrounding the recent praise for "Songbird" and I've been inspired to search for it on the quasi-legal file sharing service of my choice. The retort in which I am about to delve into is not so much a rebuttal, but a particular quote that you referenced really points out the fact that the once great era of BritPop ™ has become nothing other than a stagnant pond.

You reference a quote by Chris Martin that actually compares Liam Fucking Gallagher to Beethoven. First of all, you have GOT to be effing kidding me. I am not saying that "Songbird" isn't a nice little pop ditty, but if I were a bobby in Central London, I would toss Chris Martin in jail for Blatant Overuse of Hyperbole. The only Beethoven Liam should be compared to is that fat dog that stars in that movie with Chuck Grodin. If memory serves, Liam is still the guy who wrote "Little James", right?

Second of all, and trust me that this is a far greater crime than hyperbole, what the fuck ever happened to BritPop ™ ? Now we've got Coldplay sucking Oasis off in one corner, we've got Massive Attack's 3-D being arrested for childporn in another, Dave Gahan has ditched Depeche Mode to go solo at Glasto, and Louise Wener is nowhere to be found. Whatever happened to the impossibly best ever singles with impossibly irresistable hooks ("Wonderwall", "Bittersweet Symphony", "Common People", etc.)? Those artists can barely even get their albums RELEASED in the US anymore, let alone getting a song on the radio!

I think that the biggest problem that British Music has in 2003 is that there is a complete lack of charismatic personalities that even us former Q addicts can find ourselves drawn to. Now I like bands like Coldplay as much as the next guy, but saying that Chris Martin has a media friendly personality is like saying that Shaq has mad skillz as a free-throw shooter. Look at Noel Gallagher ... the man used to be able to piss off the world with his talent and his 'tude (esp. his infamous quote of wishing that "Alex from Blur catches AIDS"), now he looks to Ryan Adams cover songs for inspiration. And where, for the love of Christ, is Louise Wener!?!?

I'm not quite sure what British musicians can do to reverse this trend of irrelevance. Unfortunately I don't have any solutions, other than this ... Get out and fuckin' WORK, man! There hasn't been a British band who has worked the States with passion or conviction since Travis on their "The Man Who" tours of 2000 and 2001. And look what that did for them! They went from playing The Shelter to opening for Oasis at the State Theater to headlining St. Andrews to headlining Clutch Cargo's in a little over 12 months. Where are the Brit boys (or girls) who are willing to do that these days? Is anyone gonna break through? Is anyone even going to TRY?!? C'mon Idlewild, my money's on you. "The Remote Part" is only available on import or illegal download over here, but it's some of the best BritRock that I have heard since "The Man Who."

So I guess I will conclude with this open letter to England's rock stars:

While I'm not so sure that we "need" you, we certainly "want" you. Members of the British music community, put your heads together and collectively determine a strategy that will make your music RELEVANT again. It's important and integral for music lovers everywhere. C'mon Richard, c'mon Noel / Liam, c'mon Damon, c'mon Jason Pierce, c'mon Jarvis. Take inspiration from Billy Corgan's Zwan project, his crispest work since "Siamese Dream." That album was released almost 10 years ago, which is just slightly ahead of when you all caught your big break. Listen to it and get back to basics. Ditch the $500,000 producer and stay away from overindulging in the studio and record DIY-stizz (I'm talking mostly to YOU, Mr. Richard Ashcroft). Focus on writing songs, not anthems. That's the only way that you'll regain your chops AND your confidence. And let's see some of you from the younger crop (Idlewild, Libertines and I would even put Travis in this group) put out something that makes us all go "YEAH!"

Pretty please with sugar on top?
-Uncle Grambo

posted by uncle grambo |
 

the patron hottie of whatevs.org!breaking Jennifer Garner news!

by popular (if somewhat sarcastic) demand on the whatevs.org comment boards! Twentieth Century Fox has issued a press release confirming that, in addition to working on a "Daredevil" sequel, they are moving forward with "a new event film based on the Elektra character." no word if JG has inked a contract, but you can bet with all of the buzz she's got she'll get a Big Fat Greek Payday (in case you haven't seen "DD", Garner's Elektra character is Greek ... get it?). Garner ... so popular! who knew?

posted by uncle grambo |
 

grizz gon give it 2 ya

this morning's DetNews is like manna for FOWs. not one, not two, but THREE articles by The Grizz. we haven't seen a day this fruitful in months! for you music buffs looking to pick up some new discs over the weekend, you'll be interested to read his thoughts on the new Richard Ashcroft album ("drowns in a sea of overwrought string arrangements and downtempo melodrama"), not to mention his take on The Music's self-titled debut ("The Music isn't about ironic detachment, celebrity posturing or even about lyrics -- it's about the music, the sort of swirling, psychedelic and layered guitar rock that music geeks and teen-age boys dream the music world would produce more of"). and in honor of Mr. Rogers, he takes a look at how his passing is going to leave a void in our lives. so hott!

posted by uncle grambo |
Thursday, February 27, 2003  

and it was all yellowand it was all YELLOW

thank God, now I can finally leave my apartment! take the duct tape and Saran Wrap off your windows because Ashcroft, Ridge and co. have lowered the Terror Alert Level from orange to YELLOW! let's celebrate in the streets! with our fears finally calmed, i just KNOW that i'm totally gonna get laid tonight! come, let's frolick blissfully together with all the lights off, save for the soothing YELLOW glow of the Terror Alert level on the television! let's exchange tender kisses knowing that we'll wake up tomorrow and we'll have vanquished the threat of Osama for yet another day! remember how when we were kids we used to hold up buttercups to each other's cheeks to see our skin glow YELLOW? these are the feelings of warmth and nostalgia that the YELLOW Terror Alert should inspire in all of us! so what if there's still a "Significant Risk" of a terrorist attack? shit, just last night while a nation sat watching "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here", our government protectors were warning us of a "High Risk" of attack. i remember lying with you in the dark, both of us too nervous to fall asleep or even talk, because we knew that any sort of a ruckus would lead the infidels straight to our suburban lair. but today we have been saved, our enemies vanquished! our fears have been lifted with a simple shift in the color spectrum!! think about it! in order to get from orange to YELLOW on a color wheel, all you need to do is remove some red. get it? you know, removing the red is liking removing bloodshed from our world! now it's all like a Chris Martin dream, everything's all YELLOW. i just knew that when I awoke this morning all would be right with the world. the birds were singing. the squirrels were dancing playfully. even the raccoon who spread trash all across my front lawn had a wink and a smile for me. joyest joy of all joys, i can't remember a day when i felt more ALIVE!

posted by uncle grambo |
 

blue horseshoe LOVES endicott steel

i gotta throw props out to long-time FOW / first time contributor M. Hudson Hawk for forwarding this along. according to a report issued by CBS MarketWatch, GM CFO John Devine confirmed that "OnStar is in the black" at an analyst conference in New York yesterday. profitability buzz is always better than bankruptcy buzz!

posted by uncle grambo |
 

FOWs beware

just got this message from HostRocket, looks like there may some downtime for whatevs.org later this afternoon. no buzz. this week has been all effed up. FTP problems, then BackBlog was down most of yesterday, now this! W-U-R-S-T. my apologies in advance...


Date: 27 Feb 2003 17:38:42 -0000
To: updates@hostrocket.com
Subject: network maintenance this afternoon
From: updates@hostrocket.com

Dear HostRocket customers,

We will do doing network maintenance between 3pm and 7pm today which will result in a maximum of one hour of downtime. This mainentance will further ensure stability in our current network.

Thank you for your patience during this necessary upgrade.

__________________
- HostRocket Support Team
- http://www.hostrocket.com

posted by uncle grambo |
 

snl season 28 ... revealed!

while i was planning on spending Saturday night with Peabs and the Boys out in GP watching the Tyson fight, the Gods interfered with an epic snowstorm that left the roads in worse condition than Robert Blake. i was fortunate enough to have read Nummer and The H-Bomb's buzz-laden pre-show review of Saturday Night Live's Christopher Walken / Foo Fighters episode. i kicked back on my ole reliable Pier One couch with a full glass of Glenmorangie and was delighted to experience one of the hottest SNLs of all-time. not only were Walken and The Foos off the heez, guest cameos from Steve Martin, Britney Spears, Will Ferrell and Jim Carrey added to the evening's extraordinary hottness. there was even a backhanded reference to The Grizz's "Ferrell vs. Farrell" column from a few weeks back (sorta, but not really). but before I ramble for too long, I'll turn over the Recap Duties to our SNL Experts, Nummer and The H-Bomb.

Episode 13: Christopher Walken / Foo Fighters (2/22/03)
the continentalnewfound respect for Grohl & Co.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

full fledged depression on a thursday morn

so when i went to bed last night, all seemed well in the world. i had a kickass day at work, i got a lot accomplished and a promotion looks likely sometime in the next few days. i never thought that Biggie's words would be so prophetic ... ya know, "mo money, mo problems." i don't have any of the money just yet, but it seems like problems have emerged overnight.

first of all, my clock alarm goes off around 7:30 to the sound of Trudi News (from the Drew & Mike show) informing me that Mr. Rogers died last night. talk about worst ever, Mr. Rogers was one of the few shining beacons of all that is good and right with the world and was obviously an inspiration for millions of young Americans. tell me that you didn't want an exact replica of that train in YOUR living room when you were growing up? and when that train went into the hole in that wall and came out in King Friday's kingdom? best evs. truth be told, when i was sitting on my ass after getting unceremoniously laid off a few summers back, I made sure I caught an episode or two per week of "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood". at i'll be god damned if i didn't feel happier and more confident and took a positive attitude along with me for the rest of the day -- let me tell you, it's extremely rare to feel all three of those sentiments at the same time that you're sending out 10-15 resumes per day and not getting jack squat in return and I had Mr. Rogers to thank for preventing me from slipping into an abyss of self-loathing. RIP Mr. R, you'll always be tigs in our hearts.

as if that news wasn't worst evs enough, i flipped on MTV2 and saw the latest Johnny Cash video, a stripped down and hauting cover of Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt." have you heard the song and/or seen the video? Johnny Cash's tired corpse is nothing other than a shell of what the defiant Man In Black used to be, especially when he was rocked Folsom Prison. perhaps this is why the song depressed me so much, but the fact that Cash now looks like an extra from "Thriller" didn't help matters much either. things got ever worse when i sat down at the computer this morning for my daily spin through all of the necessary buzz locales. these three items caught my eye and added to the anti-buzz:

  1. Bye bye Buffy. SMG has announced that she will not be returning to Sunnydale next season. fortunately we'll always have The Scooby Gang on DVD.

  2. first it was Pee Wee, then it was Principal Rooney, then Pete Townshend. now NME is reporting that Massive Attack's 3-D is the latest famous person to be busted for C-Porn. and i just bought their album a week ago ... oy!

  3. the venerable Royal Oak Music Theater is on the auction block and will likely be shut down in the next few weeks. while it's not the world's greatest venue to see a show, this closing would leave a giant hole in downtown Royal Oak.


someone send through some good news, it's gettin' mighty depressin' over hee-ahr! help a brotha out!

posted by uncle grambo |
Wednesday, February 26, 2003  

chocolate factory

it's been a good week for pedophiles. with his win at the BAFTA Awards, Roman Polanski is making a serious run at this year's Oscar for Best Director. and (alleged) teen banger R. Kelly will debut at #1 on next week's Top 200 Billboard Album Charts after selling 532,000 copies of his dubiously named "Chocolate Factory" LP. i guess this just goes to prove that there is no such thing as bad publicity. have you heard the new single from the album, "Ignition"? while i've never been a fan of Kell's solo work, this song is hott! regardless, this debut really makes you wonder what the Eff happened to "The Best Of Both Worlds", the album that he and J. Hova released last spring ... why didn't that sell any copies???

posted by uncle grambo |
 

wall to wall meetings

...until 4pm this afternoon. just wanted to let y'all know that there probably won't be any updates until late in the day. peas!

posted by uncle grambo |
Tuesday, February 25, 2003  

HUGS

maybe HUGS are better than drugs after all! a female 7th grade teacher from New Jersey was arrested yesterday and charged with "aggravated sexual contact" after having sex with one of her students over 20 times in the past two years. the 13 year old boy met his 35-year old teacher in a social studies class and an afterschool program called HUGS (Helping Underprivileged and Gifted Students). the teacher is now preggers with her student's child, which obvs reminds me of Mary Kay LeTourneau and one of the best Norm MacDonald crack backs of all-time:

"In Washington State, elementary school teacher Mary Kay LeTourneau pleaded guilty to having sex with a sixth-grade student....LeTourneau has been branded a sex offender, or as the kids refer to her, 'the greatest teacher of all time.'"

posted by uncle grambo |
 

herbert kornfeld ... REVEALED!

ah, The Onion. while it used to be weekly required reading back in the late `90s, my perusal of the site has waned considerably. however, my daily click to Romanesko revealed this interview with Maria Schneider, staff writer at The Onion. among other characters, Schneider is the voice of Herbert Kornfeld, the ultra bad-ass "Accountz Reeceevable supervisa" whose Letta Opener Of Death is even more legendary than Milton's Swingline stapler in "Office Space." good shizz.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

jenna!linksaplenty

  • apparently conservo loudmouth Bill O'Reilly reads whatevs.org in his spare time. on his show last night, he unleashed a rant concerning Pony's upcoming launch of an ad campaign featuring Jenna Jameson. according to this chump, "(Pony) is trying to legitimize quasi-prostitution and sees fit to reward that kind of behavior with lucrative endorsement...I resent their attempt to mainstream destructive behavior." currently there's "no spin" from Billy Boy on whether or not he finds Gucci pubes appropriate for mainstream mags.

  • so Dan Rather interviewed Saddam Hussein for three hours yesterday. what kind of military intelligence do we have where the news media has better info than our national security advisors? scary.

  • the buzz continues to grow for The White Stripes. approximately one week after The Grizz first broke the news, MTV.com reveals that the release date of "Elephant" has been pushed up to April 1. the article talks a little about the album, specifically mentioning that "the band expands its palette this time around, delving into spoken word performance art on the intro for "Little Acorns"..." -- thanks to a quasi-legal file sharing service, whatevs.org is the first site to reveal that this "spoken word performance art" is actually a soundbite of legendary Channel 4 newsman Mort Crim! i gots more buzz than a beehive!

  • if you see a white Honda Accord near the entrance of your local Courtyard By Marriott, chances are that you'll stumble onto an Internet sex party.

  • last night marked the final episode of "Joey Mills" ... if you found yourself wondering why Evan didn't pick MoJo, first of all, SHAME ON YOU! secondly, you'll probably dig MoJo Model.com.

  • have you heard the new Massive Attack record? here is a link to The Grizz's review of "100th Window" from Friday's Detroit News.

  • last but certainly not least, my main man Davis is reporting that June 2003 is going to be a drool-inducing month for DVD fans. on June 3rd, Warner Home Entertainment will be releasing a 2-disc collection of "The Ben Stiller Show" that will include all 12 episodes, a featurette, cast interviews, promo spots, and the "lost" 13th episode (retail will be $34.98). as if that isn't enough, "Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Complete Fourth Season" streets the following Tuesday (6.10.03)! chicka chick aaaaaahhhh!

posted by uncle grambo |
 

meeting of the mindsthis is what i'm tawlkin' bout

while America was watching Snore-Ah Jones pick up her fifth Grammy of the night for "Best Album", this is what was going on behind the scenes (courtesy of MTV News.com) ...

NEW YORK One of the most touching moments of the 45th annual Grammy Awards wasn't televised Sunday night.

As the Album of the Year award brought the evening to a close, nominees Eminem and Bruce Springsteen stood backstage at Madison Square Garden, watching a monitor as their names were announced. When Norah Jones was declared the winner, completing her Grammy sweep, Em's head sank. The Boss, noticing, simply put his arm over Shady's shoulder, and the two walked off together into the shadows.


MEMO TO CBS: when ABC broadcasts The Oscars, they have cameras and even Dick Clark backstage! why haven't your punkass producers thought of this?!? this is the kind of moment that would've made television history! a legend comforting a legend-in-the-making? best. this just goes to show how classy Bruce truly is. no words of wisdom, no "you'll get 'em next time, kid", just a simple and reassuring arm around the shoulder to show respect and acknowledge an appreciation of an artist's work. and for all of Em's braggadocio about not really caring if he wins or loses Grammys, a rare moment like this goes to prove that he cares about his music and his craft more than anything in the world and that he was truly disappointed by not winning. Em and Bruce ... best.

MEMO TO ABC: Everyone knows that this year's Oscars are going to be snooze-a-riff. "The Hours" versus "The Pianist"? yawn. you want ratings? take advantage of the Bruce / Eminem convergence and suggest that Em perform "Lose Yourself" with The E-Street Band! how hott would that be? Bruce and Em trading verses about Mekhi Pfifer and Mom's spaghetti? BEST OF ALL-TIME!!!

posted by uncle grambo |
 

can you hear me now?

official explanation from Host Rocket on why I couldn't post yesterday. i felt like Homer Simpson trying to communicate with their Customer Support Staff ... "they have the Internet on computers these days?" check out what I mean...

Original Question Sent on 2003-02-24 at 19:26:51 EST:
Good evening,

I have been utilizing Blogger\'s software to update my website since May 2002 and I have been experiencing a great deal of troubles today trying to upload content to my site. I have gone through the appropriate data checks and I\'m fairly convinced that something strange is happening on the HostRocket end, as opposed to the Blogger end.

I believe that my problems involve FTP. My FTP settings on Blogger have always worked until today. Until today, my FTP Server settings were always set for ftp.whatevs.org. After experiencing some problems, I did some research on Hostrocket with other Bloggers and changed my FTP server to whatevs.org. Then THAT stopped working. Whenever I upload, I get an Error Message that says \"Unknown Host: whatevs.org\". Same thing when I tried changing my FTP routing back to ftp.whatevs.org -- any idea how I can fix this?

Thank you very much in advance,
-Mark



Followup Response sent by Support on 2003-02-24 at 19:32:37:
Hi,

The DNS information on our systems was updated, and resultantly your system is caching the old DNS information. To update your dns information, at a dos prompt type ipconfig/flushdns This should update the information and bring your website up. Please let us know if you have any further questions. Thank you for choosing HostRocket.

PS. - You can also use your IP address instead of your domain name when trying to log in. This will also work.

Lyman Terni
HostRocket Support



Followup Response sent by Support on 2003-02-24 at 19:49:21:

The solution that Lyman sent through did not work, and in fact, I'm not really sure the answer was even related to my question. Can you please take another look and let me know how I can resolve this? Thank you.



Trouble Ticket Response To Ticket #73543 Newest Response Sent on 2003-02-24 at 20:43:04 EST:

I apologize, updating the DNS information will work now, some of the DNS zones were not pointed correctly. This would not allow you to FTP in. If you try to ftp in using your IP, it will work now. Sorry for the difficulty. Once the DNS changes resolve you will be able to ftp into your site using the domain name again. This should take a few hours to resolve. Thank you for choosing HostRocket.

Lyman Terni
HostRocket Support


whew! DNS FTP DOS? more like WTF! anysluts, the good news is that the problem magically resolved itself overnight. i apologize to the FOWs everywhere who went to sleep last night without their proper dose of Piping Hot Content. upwards and onwards!

posted by uncle grambo |
Monday, February 24, 2003  

sorry =(

for the lack of updates today. i've been having trouble with my FTP servers and it has been a biznitch to try and fix. in fact, as of 7:41pm, it is STILL unfixed. hence the lack of posts today. thanks for hangin' in there!

posted by uncle grambo |
 

abercrombie & mayerbland mediocrity rules the roost

as a music fan whose last two purchases have been from two artists who couldn't be more diverse (Massive Attack and Johann Sebastian Bach), last night's triumph of all things MOR resulted in one of the most depressing post-award show funks that i can ever recall. while there wasn't an single incident that could qualify as an atrocity on the scale of Steely Dan trumping Eminem for Best Album in 2001, the collective effect of three and a half hours of B-list celebrities (Willem Dafoe? Kim Cattrall? Joey Pants?) giving awards to Snore-Ah Jones was like drinking a 64 ounces of decaf coffee -- a lot of work for no buzz.

the night started off promisingly enough with a reunited Simon & Garfunkle performing "The Sounds Of Silence", but it quickly became apparent that the duo's legendary ability to harmonize had faded along with their hairlines. the rendition was intimate yet eerily cool; the pair never so much as traded a glance of familiarity. as they concluded and Dustin Hoffman took the stage to announce that this year's telecast was sans host, I cringed as Hoffman stumbled over his words (calling The Boss "Bruce Springstreet", trying to raise the roof while mangling No Doubt lyrics) and announced that the hosts of this year's show were the raucous citizens of New York. normally, this would be best. i mean, c'mon ... crowds don't GET more enthusiastic than at a sold-out show at Madison Square Garden! but last night's MSG patrons acted like they had been fed too much MSG; they were lethargic and failed to provide any additional buzz to songs that had the potential for greatness ("Lose Yourself" and "The Rising" come to mind). by the end of the night, the Academy's decision to go hostless looked like a mistake that other award shows would learn from.

after the mini-"Graduate" reunion, the evening's first shot of adrenaline came courtesy of slinky sexxx kitten Gwen Stefani. baring her legendarily taut tummy and sporting some full length S&M style leather boots, Gwen and her No Doubt bandmates roared into "Hella Good", easily the best summer song of 2002. but its effervescence and attitude was lost with a really poor sound mix which buried Gwen's vocals and the song's trademark electronic whirs and pops. next up was Faith Hill, who despite having a micro mini cut so high that I thought she was going to sing Missy Elliott's "Pussy Don't Fail Me Now", came off as little more than a wicked hott trailer trash queen with her rendition of "Cry" -- easily the most overwrought ballad since Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)." her only competition for Sluttiest Blonde Over 30 came from fortysomething hosebeast Kim Cattrall, whose whole "I love sex more than anything" public demeanor ran thin in about 1999.

next up was what I could only assume was an ostensible salute to the singer/songwriter genre, because that's the only thing that Vanessa Carlton, John Mayer and James Taylor have in common. Vanessa was cool and composed as she performed about 1/2 of "A Thousand Miles" before tossing it over to John Mayer, who showed up on stage looking like the world's gumpiest Aberzombie reject. note to JM: this is the GRAMMYS for Chrissakes, you should check out these new inventions called "ties" ... they sell them at ALL of the clothing stores in the mall that don't have black and white male nudes hanging in their windows. the only redeeming factor about this guy is the fact that his concerts are stacked with thousands of hott white girls under 22. mmm mmmm, so much Wooderson buzz.

there are a lot of other things from the evening that were complaint worthy. Avril Lavigne's imported moshpit of pizza faced pre-teen punkasses. the introduction of "Academy Award Nominee Queen Latifah" (i TOLD you)! giving Glenn Miller a lifetime achievement award FIFTY NINE GOD DAMN YEARS AFTER HE DIED! Robin Williams and his inability to go four seconds without affecting some sort of fucked up accent and telling jokes that have been stale for months (Trent Lott jokes are SO December 2002!). Erykah Badu ... read much? and then there was *NSYNC's tribute to The Bee Gees, especially J Timbo's laughably lame beatboxing -- was that s'posed to lend him some street cred or what? i could go on and on, but I'd rather save the rest of my venom for something that was truly disappointing instead of just worst.

while Bruce Springsteen singlehandedly tried to salvage the night (both with his stirring version of "The Rising" and his collaboration with Elvis Costello and Dave Grohl on "London Calling"), what I'll ultimately remember from the evening is how disappointed I was with Eminem's "Lose Yourself." it was only two years ago that "(Em) and Elton played career Russian Roulette" with their ridiculously sick performance of "Stan." with each passing second of their duet, it became clearer and clearer that you were witnessing television history in the making. so when buzz started leaking that Eminem was going to perform "Lose Yourself" on this year's show, expectations obviously began to skyrocket ... that is until he came on stage and I was hit with the realization that the muthafuckin' Roots were his backing band!!! worst. band. EVER! The Roots have somehow become famous just for being five (or six or whatever) black guys who ACTUALLY PLAY LIVE INSTRUMENTS! like I'm supposed to be wowed by this or something? i don't get it. oh, they've got "soul"? riiiight. i've always been astounded at the number of edumacated white boyz who "love" The Roots (including some FOWs who shall go unnamed). The Roots and Cody Chestnutt and Common and all those other hippie hip hoppers can blow me because it takes more than the ability to play the guitar to impress your Uncle Grambo (although that's sufficient for most music critics suffering from epidemic cases of white guilt). after capably backing Jay-Z on last year's MTV Unplugged Performance (an unspectacular yet solid showing), Em tapped them to provide the knockout blow for the crowd of 18,000-plus last night. once again, they managed to capably follow along to the song, but then again, Lenny Kravitz managed to capably deliver the opening guitar solo to Madonna's "Ray Of Light" on the VMAs a few years back. sure they both played the right notes, but they also both miserably failed to contribute any sort of X Factor which could've taken a live performance of a great song from the "good" category into the pantheon of all-time balls out best evs. the crowd acknowledged this buzzkill by sitting on their hands throughout the course of the song in defiant protest to The Roots' worsteverness. adding insult to injury was the fact that Natalie Maines was the only one in the entire arena who gave a Standing O afterwards. and as he sauntered offstage with Proof, you could tell that Em was disappointed with how things turned out, knowing full well that he should've put a call into The Flaming Lips instead.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

jenna jameson - pony's new spokeshottie

it looks like Gucci isn't the only company courting controversy with their new ad campaign. according to reports in this weekend's New York Times, Pony has signed legendary Vivid Girl Jenna Jameson to a contract to hawk their wares. no word on whether or not she'll be stark raving newd in future adverts, but let's all keep our fingers crossed. the article also talks about the ad below ... buzz!

posted by uncle grambo |
 

!!!

so i was at the neighborhood Borders on Saturday afternoon checkin' out the magazine section. you know, flippin' through Q and Empire and British versions of FHM and GQ ... i've been trying to reduce my disposable income expenditures lately and you can blow huge $$$ trying to keep up with the latest & greatest periodicals. anyhooz, i'm flippin' through the new issue of Blender and stumbled across the following ad ... can you believe it? what kind of world are we living in? pubic billboards? i can't decide if this is best or worst evs, all i know is that it is a jaw dropping advertisement. thoughts?

gucci will get you in her pants

posted by uncle grambo |
quote-a-matic
"I started out with a lot of Audioslave or anything Chris Cornell -- it helped with the aggression. And Chris Webber from the [Sacramento] Kings. There's a real sweetness behind his eyes, but he's pissed off."
Brad Pitt on the sources of inspiration for his character in "Troy"
be like mark
ECOUTEZ


loretta lynn - van lear rose



REGARDEZ


king of new york (special edition)



LISEZ


john kennedy toole - a confederacy of dunces

adventures w/disposable income
date: 5.8.04
source: CVS
amount: $19.48
(1) liter of Captain's
(2) liters of DC w/lime
(1) mother's day card

snl season 29
REVEALED!
by Nummer & H-Bomb
where's grambo?
may 10: the strokes @ state theatre
may 15: cardigans @ magic stick
may 17: softball league @ 8:30pm
may 17: last tourist @ small's (10pm)
may 24: softball league @ 6:10pm
may 27: sea ray / stills @ st. andrews
june 6: dido @ fox theater
june 7: softball league @ 7:20pm
june 14: softball @ 6:10pm
june 19: jessica's graduation party
june 21: softball @ 8:30pm
june 28: softball @ 6:10pm
july 3 - july 11: vacation @ TBD
july 12: softball @ 7:20pm
july 19: softball @ 7:20pm
july 26: softball @ 9:40pm
august 2: softball @ 7:20pm
august 14: nuptial buzz w/c friggs + lescal!!!
october 23: nuptial buzz w/the grizz + mandypants!!!
twenty word reviews
van helsing
**
REVIEW TK.
hellboy
***
REVIEW TK.
walking tall
*
REVIEW TK.
scooby doo 2: monsters unleashed
NO BUZZ!
REVIEW TK.
dawn of the dead
****1/2
REVIEW TK.
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
****1/2
REVIEW TK.
starsky & hutch
***1/2
REVIEW TK.
girl next door
***
re-imagines "Risky Business" with Vivid Girls instead of prostitutes; marks Elisha Cuthbert's arrival as an alluring, big screen sex symbol.
eurotrip
*
Despite the best efforts of TrachtenBest, suffers greatly from a lack of forward momentum (scriptwise) and some remarkably bland casting
along came polly
**
aside from Philip Seymour Best Ever's performance ("RAIN DANCE!"), I vastly preferred this when it was called "Dharma And Greg."
archives
links
search THIS!
sponsors



powered by Blogger


In Association with Amazon.com


Feedback by blogBack

Syndicated avec XML