whatevs (dot org)
piping hot content for your sexy bod
oh what rippling muscles!
Friday, October 31, 2003  

notable quotables

"If you once held the zeitgeist in your fist but now found yourself swimming in status anxiety 24 hours a day, you'd write this badly, too." description of Uncle Grambo? not even close, BUD! try Tina Brown.

"With 'Room on Fire,' the Strokes prove they can make a great album twice, but whether or not they can make two great albums remains to be seen." The Grizz paints a vivid description in today's Detroit News, though I'm not quite seeing the parallels between "Kickstart My Heart" and "Reptilia." but then again, my creative juices seem to be past their expiration date this morning.

"How are the freshman bitties lookin' this year?" when in doubt, you can always rely on "Kicking and Screaming" quotes to get you by. I had visions of Skippy dancing through my head when I read about the Top Ten freshest faces on the runway circuit. my vote goes to Hana Soukupova with Isabeli Fontana running a close second.

Microsoft to acquire Google?

and to close out the week on an appropriately scary note, check out the 100 Scariest Movie Scenes Of All-Time according to RetroCrush.com. it's certainly an admirable list, though their omission of the red-hooded, serial murdering dwarf from "Don't Look Now" is nearly unforgivable. after that film, I permanently crossed Venice off my "Places To Visit" list. creepy con carne.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

tru review

last night's "Tru Hottness" premiere party at Damore's was a rousing success. unfortch for everyone out there, I fell asleep directly after Neal Pollack's appearance on "The Daily Show" and didn't have time to post the pics from the eve. but, in the interim, take a few to enjoy Damore's review of last night's "Tru Calling" pilot episode...

TRU REVIEW
Pilot Episode (10/30/03)
by Damore

tru pilotAfter numerous recent let downs following heavily buzzed events w/sky-high expectations, it's nice to see last night's premiere of "Tru Calling" didn't fall into this category. Right out of the gate it was fast-paced tru hottness. Davies waking up in some tight fitting short shorts (bra-less I might add, & listening to The Donnas), taking the fire escape down from her flat & booking down the street, cleavage abound, trying to make her college graduation ceremony on-time. Seantizz, a GP Farms resident said right after the sequence, "Already the best show ever". Agreed.

I really liked how certain aspects of Tru's gift are yet be revealed--some may have thought they were plot holes, but it's all by design. Like how she knew that the 10 of clubs would save her brother (Harrison) from a post gambling bludgening, & help him win a few bucks in the process. The extent of her powers will be revealed as the season unfolds. I liked how alot of things weren't explained verbally, you just had to watch & figure it out on the fly.

One thing that did bug me momentarily was the banter between Davis & Tru at the city morgue. It got too cute when multiple tru calling puns were slipped into the dialogue. Would also like to see Lindsay worked into the show a little more w/ maybe some arts & crafts time w/ Tru, "Soul Survivors" style. Prob won't happen until later in season 1, or season 2.

Overall: 5 by 5 stars -- a top-shelf debut. Dushku's performance was right up there w/ "Angel" season 1 ep '5x5'--solid, believable acting. & unlike 'Wrong Turn', Fox 'xecs are using all of Dushku's considerable talents, proving that she can carry a series as the lead. Fox should be pushing this show like it was crack. Her gravelly hot sultry voice melts ice.

Thanks & props to everyone who attended the premiere party. Hope you all had fun & enjoyed the show. Keep watching.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

snl season 29 ... REVEALED!

When is Lorne gonna get smart and sign up Dushku to be the guest host? Until then, you'll have to deal with the likes of Kelly Ripa. Enjoy the preview of this weekend's SNL from whatevs.org's resident experts, Nummer and H-Bomb.

NUMMERH-BOMB
EPISODE 4: Kelly Ripa / OutKast (11/1/03)

There is one word to describe Kelly Ripa - "annoying". I don't watch either one of her shows simply because I can't stand her. I'm guessing this will be one of those episodes where the host is hardly in any of the sketches. If so, we could be in for a good show since random cast member sketches will likely be given more time.

As for Outkast, I only know the hits. I like the new song with them running around in green suits in the video. I'm looking for them to break the mold of Season 29's current musical guest slump.

Kelly Ripa. Voted onto the illustrious "must see" list in this week's Entertainment Weekly for her role in the new sitcom "Hope & Faith." Personally, I've never watched this show, so I have no idea about Ripa's capabilities as an actor or a comedian. I've caught her on "Regis and Kelly" a couple of times, but that was only through random channel surfing. She seems sweet and likeable, but I gotta say, Poehler's recent impressions of her is balls on as far as the annoyance factor goes. It'll be interesting to see how they handle the "Regis and Kelly" skit this week, cause you KNOW it will be on the show, with Ripa most likely dressed up as a random guest. All and all, this week's SNL is a total toss-up. Outkast, on the other hand, I'm sure will be fantastic.

posted by uncle grambo |
Thursday, October 30, 2003  

don't eff with detroit

Detroit. Where The Weak Are Killed And Eaten

(thanks to Kegzies for revealing)

posted by uncle grambo |
 

cleanin' out my closet

i guess it was only a matter of time. now that everyone's gotten their kicks from Elizabeth Smart, the harsh spotlight of celebrity is once again focused squarely on your Uncle Grambo. and now, like Tom Cruise and Jim J. Bullock before me, I have been unfairly outed as G-A-Y by a member of the sensationalistic blogger community. uh, on second thought, maybe the past two comparisons weren't really apt. i'm more like Mike Piazza ... whoah whoah whoah, ANOTHER bad choice. uh, I'm more like Isiah Thomas or Magic Johnson, only without the pre-game kissing and whole spectre of AIDS to deal with. wait a second here, I'm beginning to realize something ... behind every famous man, there's a gay rumour just WAITING to happen. whatevs. it's all good, yo. handsome lady killers like The Gorilla and myself get this shite all the tizz. so i leave you with the wise words of Matthew Wilder, "Ain't nuthin' gonna break-a my stride, ain't nuthin' gonna slow me down, oh no, I gotsta keep on movin'!"

and oh yeah, thanks to The Gorilla for revealing the best t-shirt since "Free Winona."

uncle grambo and the gorilla

posted by uncle grambo |
 

bobbing for apples

because it's nearly Halloween, I thought I'd start out with something that made me nearly shat my drawas. even scarier than Ashanti sans makeup. for reals, yo.

honey, the feeling is mutual. and your Uncle Grambo was both shocked AND dismayed that Bachelor Bob dissed my little Eskimo Mamacita. yes, i understand the rampant disconnect between Eskimos and those with a Spanish dialect, but I'm just in one of those moods.

while I'm still partial to Information Leafblower's 2003-2004 NBA Preview, I gotsta give it up for The Black Table's version, too. Witness this description of the fortunes of the Washington BulletsWizards: "F. Scott Fitzgerald was way off the mark when asserting that there are no second acts in American lives. For instance, there's G. Gordon Liddy. Thankfully, though, third acts tend to often take on the role of travesty, with the person in question ceasing to be anything but a nuisance. This is a slightly long-winded way of saying the Wizards are better off without Michael Jordan." good stuff for the Sports Geeks out there.

I went to camp so long ago, it was the Stone Age. No, I'm kidding. It was the Ice Age. No, it was the Stone Age."I understand that these girls are just high-schoolers and are therefore retarded by nature" ... props out to Foxy Jess for managing to sneak in an Uncle Grambo crackback into her review of MTV's "Rich Girls." i know that I'm old, but do you realize that "I went to camp so long ago, fucking Jesus Christ was my counselor"? it's TRUE!

some great Courtney Hole gossip courtesy of Buddyhead. "Fresh from her release from a psychiatric ward (due to attempted suicide) in a Beverly Hills hospital, Courtney dropped by Second Spin record store last week in Sherman Oaks where she smoked 12 cigarettes in five minutes, proceeded to have a verbal freak out, and purchased the second season of CSI on DVD." CSI? Season Two, no less?WTF? think she's already got Season One? I guess there's proof that some people under the age of 40 actually watch CBS! Unless, of course, she's been catching the reruns on Spike TV.

let me take a moment to point you in the direction of 1115.org for not one but TWO hot posts. long-time FOW Method One takes aim at one of the more baffling developments of our time: What kind of crackrock are the execs at TNT smoking when they grant "New Classic" status to flix like "The Glimmer Man"? Shmears! And then Cashilini reveals the hottest pair of Adidas golf shoes evs. And, in doing so, refuses to grant us a link with which we can bite his stizz and purchase the same shoes! Bastage!

While The Grizz, Mandypants and Big Matt were watching Travis self-destruct on stage last night, Peabs and myself decided to have a smizz. In a move that was reminiscent of Unprotected Hottness Tour (where Damizz and myself were forced to exit the Bowery Ballroom in order to smoke), security guards at The State Theater ushered us outside when we fired up the P-Funks. It was then and there that Peabs declared that "Detroit is the new NYC", not surprising considering we were escorted into an alleyway reeking of garbage. So to address the comments made over at TMFTML this morning, everyone wants to move to Detroit!

Explore the evolution of Pop Culture Geeks over at Throwing Things. It's a fairly comprehensive history that traces the evolution of Pop Culture from D&D into blogs. Hott.

Lindsay manages to avoid the well-established formulaic approach to reviewing "Room On Fire" with her clever cool (yet imaginary) conversation with The Strokes. is that a PBR?

let me congratulate the good corporate citizens over at Comcast for providing free premium cable in the city of Detroit this evening. this is apparently an effort to thwart children of all ages to forego burning down crack houses on Devil's Night, but let's get real. all it's really gonna result in is an inordinate number of Skinemax related boners at 1:30 am this morning. and what of the 2am showing of "Broadcast Bombshells"? fuggedaboutit. but your Uncle Grambo is hopeful that the good people of Detroit use this time wisely ... remember, "Tru Calling" premieres tonight at 8pm on Fox. obvs.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

hr outta my pants!

Grrrr

after having walked the Earth for twenty-nine years, I've found that there are two truths that are irrevocably universal. the first is that "Everybody Loves White Girls" (with the lone exceptions being Roger Ebert and Robert DeNiro, and quite possibly Boris Becker). the second is that "Human Resources Blows". not in a literal sense, mind you. i'm not talkin' fellatio here ... or am I? but I digress. back to the lecture at hand. what I have failed to grasp in my seven-plus years working in corporate environments is the purpose behind Human Resources. this is a department, mind you, where PEOPLE GET PAID to put together PowerPoint decks detailing OUR NEXT JEANS DAY (yes, every now and then the powers that be allow us to wear jeans to work ... howevs, we have to pay $5 that goes to charity for the privilege)!! witness the quickness on the slide above.

  1. Whoever the genius is in our HR Department who put this slide together had the UNMITIGATED GALL to use SIX DIFFERENT FONT COLORS in the space of one slide! Unforgivable!

  2. As if that wasn't atrocious in and of itself, there are THREE DIFFERENT FONTS in circ on this beeyatch (Times New Roman, Verdana and the dreaded Comic Sans MS).

  3. The punctuation is ghastly. The number of exclamation points outweigh the number of periods by a 2.5 to 1 ratio. And why capitalize the "A" in always? Hint to the HR Department, you forgot the comma after always, you fargin' lame-o's.

  4. Finally, never in my years have I seen such reckless use of italics. Specifically, I'm referencing the area that calls out "University Of Michigan" ... why oh WHY did you feel the need to drop in italics around "Of Michigan" and not around "University"? And, for that matter, why switch the fonts of "Michigan" (Times New Roman) and "State" (Verdana) on the Sparty side of the slide?

  5. I could spend some time getting into the issue of the amount of hours that were spent by some low level schlub in putting this together but I won't. Rather, I'll ask a simple question. If you're going to actually spend time at work putting this together, couldn't you at least go out on the internet and snag some jpegs of the school logos or mascots? C'mon now, at least put some effort into it!


That is all. The next post will return to the normal celeb skewering and nip commentary that you've come to know and love.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: You are NOT allowed to comment on the ironic nature of this venomous post by stating the fact that it's coming from someone who occasionally blogs during work hours. Obvs.)

posted by uncle grambo |
Wednesday, October 29, 2003  

mike tyson's punch-out

Low Culture reminds me of vintage Mike Tyson. i'm talking 1985 - 1986 Tyson, before he became a baby-eating beauty pageant rapist. you remember. back then, Tyson's opponents felt their knees go wobbly the instant that Iron Mike popped out of the dressing room and slowly jogged towards the ring. he always had that menacing glare, the one that read "Your ass goes down in the first round or I am gonna HURT you!" that's how I feel when I read Low Culture. every post hits you like a Tyson roundhouse, it's so damn good. check out Born Rich: An Obligatory Review, in which JP breaks down every single review of "Room On Fire" out there in five easy steps ... complete with examples! this is genius pop culture observation and commentary we're witnessing here folks ... i'm talkin' on the level of Klosterman (and long-time readers will understand and take that as a COMPLIMENT). awesome.

  1. The temptation to dismiss the Strokes is acknowledged

  2. The temptation to dismiss the Strokes is then shelved

  3. The band's hygiene/lack-thereof is noted

  4. The Strokes' musical debts are addressed (ordered from least to most obscure)

  5. Followed by limp metaphors for Casablancas' vocals

  6. Concluding with enigmatic mention of Sam Cooke's "A Change Is Gonna Come"


Kate Bosworth @ the premiere of 'Wonderland'ya know what they call Brit Brit in Korea? "Moo Daw Dee" ... roughly translated, that turns out to be "turnip legs." i managed to learn this fact AND snag this leg-a-licious snap of Kate "No Relation To Brian" Bosworth over on the snarkalicious Glitter Lounge forum, who is sending TONS of visitors the way of whatevs.org today (btw, thanks and welcome). it's akin to The Velvet Rope, except for the fact that it's populated NOT with loner music snobs but with celebrity gossiphounds. obvs it's already been bookmarked...

i'm goin' hungry. Last night's Pearl Jam concert in Santa Barbara featured a Temple Of The Dog reunion (of sorts), along with guest appearances by the likes of Jack Johnson and John Frusciante. somewhere in Ann Arbs, APLarcadia has got a ragin' stiffy.

wtf ever happened to the release of "Shaolin Soccer"? to this day, there's a poster over at Star Southfield that says "Summer 2003" ... no buzz. but that's not stopping the PBS from airing a special entitled "Shaolin Ulysses: Kungfu Monks In America." credit for the link should be directed towards our anonymous source of all things obvs, Beat Royalty.

sometimes you're not truly able to comprehend the genius of a man until you witness a grandiose display like this. over at WWKAD?, Paul Fisher manages to offend and / or sully the reputations of Rod Roddy, Tom Sizemore and Elizabeth Smart ... all in a single post! BRILLIANT!

hmm, where have I read this story before? Embattled Stone Temple Pilots/Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland was arrested yesterday after a traffic collision and charged with driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs and misdemeanor hit-and-run. what a shame.

oooh, SNAP! my man S/FJ drops a Greg "The Hammer" Valentine-like elbow on Radiohead's incomparably bleak first film. "Radiohead's 'Meeting People Is Easy' is the anxiety of fame not accepted: Inside the shaky, sub-advert imposed text frames, you can see the traditional fan movie they're too selfish and embarrassed to give their fans. They pretend they don't need it and choke fully, too sissy to bust the Michael Snow they've convinced themselves they're making." i remember Peabs and I got a little blown out one night in Ann Arbs and made the nearly fatal mistake of deciding to stop playing The Party to watch "Meeting People Is Easy" ... we both almost went Plath and stuck our heads in the oven. thankfully for us, the oven was filled with G. Willie's leftovers ... yum.

The Voice explores "The Lazy Hipster: Deconstructing the Gap, J. Crew, and Banana Republic" (courtesy of the eternally fashionable Megastyles).

this bodes well for next Thursday's Reel Talk with Detroit News film critic Tom Long. Jeffrey Wells gives a rave review to "Master And Commander", the upcoming Russell Crowe epic directed by the majestic Peter Weir ("Fearless", "The Truman Show", "Picnic At Hanging Rock", etc.). if you're a Detroit-based movie fan and I haven't talked to you about Reel Talk before, you should definitely check it out. you pay $30 and you get to see one movie a month over the course of a year (for you English majors out there like me, that's $2.50 a movie!) in advance of when they're released to the general public. so far this year, we've seen "Seabiscuit", "School Of Rock", "Secondhand Lions" and "The Runaway Jury" ... buzz. after the film, there's a pretty spirited discussion of both the movie and film in general, spearheaded by Tom Long. see you there.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

in short

a lot to do this morning, so in order you to deliver your morning dose of PHC, I will fall back on the ole bullet method (second only to the rhythm method, obvs).

  • my loveI think that I've found a new love interest. ladies and germs, please meet Ally Hilfiger, one of the star's of MTV's "Rich Girls." i'm in love with everything about her ... the way she sticks up for her not-so-cute friend, the way she'll break into an English accent out of nowhere, the way she'll casually drop a Sebastian from "Cruel Intentions" reference, and the fact that she positively SMOKES in a black cocktail dress. but most of all, I think I'm in love with her smile. she's got a deliciously cute overbite with gleeming white teeth ... so hott! i'm pretty sure all it will take is another Bynes photo-op to swing me back in her direction, but until then, Ally's got my heart.

  • what's the only thing that trumps Sour Cream as a topping for mashed potatos? Ecstasy! obvs.

  • get ur Tru on. Watch the first 13 minutes of "Tru Calling" on Fox.com.

  • it looks like Diane Keaton has been making weekly visits to Dr. Christian Troy. have you SEEN the new trailers for the (seemingly) godawful Jack Nicholson vehicle "Something's Gotta Give"? Diane Keaton looks better than she did in "Sleeper"! hello facelift, pleased to meet ya!

  • gotta throw props to Ben Williams for bringing Slate's Summary Judgement column back to form. he manages to collect quotes on such hot button topics The Strokes, Dale Peck and the new Toni Morrisson. kudos, yo.

  • despite the fact that we almost get to see Gwynnie reverse cowgirl stizz, "Sylvia" sucked. before I turn in my Twenty Word Review, you should read David Edelstein's review on Slate for a hilarious, spot-on description of this mucked up film. America's best film critic?

  • check out the real-life version of the "Eyes Wide Shut" orgy, including a cake "shaped like a woman with exploding breasts." you go Dennis Kozlowski, you GO!

  • who knew? The Grizz reports that "Trilogy Tuesday" is already sold out at the Star Southfield. for those not as geeky as I, "Trilogy Tuesday" is a back-to-back-to-back showing of the entire "LOTR" film cycle on December 16th. Thank goodness this weekend brings us the "Cremaster Cycle" at the DFT, Matthew Barney's bizarro filmic opus. Damizz and myself caught some of "Cremaster 3" when we were on the Unprotected Hottness Tour and I'm sure we both could vouch for how obvs it truly was. I'm in ... how 'bout you?

posted by uncle grambo |
 

taurine overdose?

no word on how many Red Bulls it took Brit Brit to get through the photoshoot for this month's Q. as always, The Sun is on top of it.

Britpop is SO deadellen von untzworth buzz

posted by uncle grambo |
Tuesday, October 28, 2003  

watch yo back, jack

it's columns like this that get the squares over at ESPN like Dr. Jack Ramsey quakin' in their boots. while the Information Leafblower has quickly risen through the ranks of Top Dawg Bloggers, he's clearly outdone himself with his 2003-2004 NBA Preview. he manages to cover the fortunes of every single NBA franchise in fifty words or less; frankly, that's one helluva accomplishment. his recaps manage to be comprehensive, funny and fast and (surprisingly) unbiased ... certainly not an easy trick to pull off, but one that ILB could do in his sleep. good show.

big matt and ryanso your meager wages didn't allow you to make the trip to NYC last weekend for CMJ? fear not, our local brethren over at Motorcityrocks.com have thankfully just filed their report from the mean streets of NYC, complete with scoop on Detroit bands as varied as Brendan Benson, The Gore Gore Girls, and Andrew WK. Big Matt and Ryan (pictured at rizz) also managed to catch national acts like Longwave and Stellastarr* (the latter is currently opening for Jane's overseas, natch), as well as snagging a copy of The Voice for your Uncle G.. hott.

Hopefully this will give enough of a cash infusion that "Kicking And Screaming" finally gets released on DVD. the world of indie filmmaking is rocked by Lion's Gate decision to buy Artisan.

happy belated birthday to Audrey Melody Nelson Dot Com! may all your buzz be resplendently obvs.

YES! Executives at MGM have axed the Halle Berry "Jinx" franchise before it even got started. Was there anyone out there REALLY clamoring for a Jinx spin-off movie? Word has it that number is even fewer than those aching for an Elektra comeback.

This particular incident has always been bothersome to me. Did a Boeing 747 really crash into The Pentagon on 9/11/01? Link via The Black Table.

less hyper, more hypeIn a move that is completely contradictory to maintaining the integrity of the PHC Lifestyle (spontaneously read / react / [w]rite), I managed to avoid a rush judgement and actually spent a few days with the new MTV Magazine before officially issuing my thoughts on this "Spankin' New" mag. While I admire the quality of the writers (including Emily Nussbaum and Michael Azzerad) and I find the art direction inviting and appealing, after three minutes with the magazine I was exhibiting tendencies of a paranoid ADD basketcase.

you see, there are three elements contained within the magazine's polybag; one "regular-sized" magazine with a videogame theme, one mini-magazine focused on new music releases and a CD-ROM. after quickly flipping through the "big" magazine without any problems (read: nothing caught my eye), my nerves started twitching within seconds of picking up the mini-magazine — if not for the fact that there was a grade schooler outside my apt with a Xanax scrip in his backpack, I likely would've knocked over the local CVS in search of sweet, sweet downers. I like my writing to be hyper-informed, not simply hyper. i use mags to escape from the web; a nice, 15,000 word piece in Vanity Fair always manages to calm my frazzled nerves. unfortch for MTV, their mag just made me feel like I was clicking through on an endless series of meaningless music reviews. no depth, nor any interesting / unique thoughts, just a bunch of recycled blurbs ("Hey kids, did you know that Death Cab's lead singer HATES being called 'emo' and recently guest-starred on The Postal Service album?") and tired bytes of information ("Hey hip-hoppers, did ya know that Obie Trice was discovered by Eminem?").

but then again, I can't imagine any scenarios in which the magazine's editors HAVEN'T focus grouped the shit out of this mag; this magazine's content has been carefully calculated for maximum appeal to the tween and teen set, leaving late 20-somethings like me entirely in the dust. which is kinda sad, really (more so for me as a person than them as a business). quite honestly, it's been hard to deal with the fact that I'm officially too old to participate on either "RW" or "RR" (I haven't been in that neighborhood for YEARS). but now, it's especially saddening to learn that I'm officially WAY out of the demo that MTV is courting with their new mag. maybe it's just me, i believe that one's hipster status is a direct correlation to whether they prefer MTV or VH-1. which I guess means that I'm making the sad, slow (yet inevitable) slide into VH-1 territory. *sniffle sniffle*.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

don't forget your trucker hats!

eeesh. kinda makes you second guess "Strays" ... Jane's Addiction harness the power of Flash Mobs during their two week tour of the U.K.

Liz Hurley. coming up on 10 years in the public spotlight and still rack-tastic after all these years (totally SFW, BTW).

not bad for a career 17-17 pitcher. Not only does Florida Marlins pitcher and World Series MVP Josh Beckett get to party with Alyssa Milano, but Timbaland and Richard Jefferson were sending magnums of Cris to his table!

best use of terminology since "obvs" ... jawsome. all hail Nick Catchdubs.

somewhere in Warren, B.B. Fett is frantically scanning Hotwire and Expedia for travel information with an ear-to-ear grin. Billboard is reporting that Urge Overkill is reuniting for a New Year's Eve Show ... possibly in NYC, possibly in Chicago. either way, you can count on the attendance of B.B. Fett. and while you're reading this Toddler, how much longer do I have to wait for the long awaited sophomore LP from The Prime Ministers to occupy my entire iTunes playlist? Cheers to Chrome Waves for the reportage on the return of Nash Kato and the boys.

finally, thank you to all the FOWs (to plentiful to name) who sent me the secret recipe on how to convince Brit Brit to get her kit off. apparently, all it takes is 8 Red Bulls. as The Gorilla so wisely put it, "Eight red bulls is a lot, even for a coke whore."

posted by uncle grambo |
 

tru hottness

less than 24 hours ago, your Uncle Grambo received an Event Reminder for this Thursday's HIGHLY anticipated "Tru Hottness" party at Damore's. in case you've been sleeping through the last few months of PHC, you know that Eliza Dushku has teamed up with the network suits at Fox to bring you "Tru Calling", the best thing to happen to Thursday nights since The Strokes played The State Theatre. and even if you've REALLY been sleepsurfing your way through whatevs.org over the past year, you mos def know that Damore is the premiere Dushku authority in the 48 contiguous United States of America. so I sent a shout-out to Damizz via the World Wide Web, requesting that he compose a note to the FOW Nation on why they should tune in to "Tru Calling" this Thursday night at 8pm. what follows is the response that was sent to me shortly before midnight last night...buzz.

Fox Thursdays This Falltru best

THIS IS A CALL
by Damore

Sarah Michelle WHO?Nothing to do this Thursday night? Not tru. My seemingly unanswered letters to Santa Claus the past few year's have finally paid off. Albeit at a cost of foregoing x-mas gifts till 2015, coupled w/ multiple wasted vacation trips to the North Pole, but well worth it in my mind. The wish being a stocking stuffer so hott in the form of a weekly TV show featuring my fave vixen. Thurs 10/30 is not only a special night in that it's Devil's Night (Halloween eve for non-metro-Detroiters), but it marks the debut of quite possibly the breakthrough show of the year, 'Tru Calling', which stars the sexy, strong sasquatch, Eliza Dushku. Oh great, another Damore rant praising Dushku & her unadulterated duffness. Why should the FOW Nation watch this show? Rather than bash the likes of 'Friends' or 'Durstvivor', my focus is on the merits of the show.

Dushku plays Tru Davies, a smart & sexy recent college grad that lives in NYC. She gets shafted out of a prestigious med internship, & has to go plan B & take a graveyard shift gig working at the city morgue. Early on the job, Tru thinks she hears a corpse calling out to her for help. The next morning, she wakes to find that she is back at the start of that very same day twelve hours before a murder that only she knows about is set to take place. W/ little time to waste, Tru is tasked w/ scouring NYC the next twelve hrs to prevent this murder, while at the same time having to rescue her own brother & sister from their self-destructive demons (her sis is a coke-head lawyer, her bro is a gambler in over his head). Much like Buffy, she bears the weight of the world by way of a gift, or curse if you will.

I've read spoilers, but I think it would be so best if Jeremy Shockey & Fred Durst have their death's portrayed in an ep, whereby Tru has to decide whether to prevent their murders. Instead, Tru quickly opts to spend the day w/ Damore, getting drunk on Jager shots, smoking 3 packs of cig's between them, etc (missing scenes).

five by fiveIt has elements of 'Run Lola Run'--Tru has no car (it's NYC & she's 22), so she has to run alot when the clock is ticking. Should help the ratings as well. 'Groundhog Day'--she is able to re-live a day, but not just w/ hilarious results. She has the pressure of trying to play god by trying save lives when no one else can. 'The Sixth Sense'- thankfully the only similar trait here is that she can see/hear some dead peep's. Not a big fan of Haley Joel Osmond & Bruce Willis.

As does any good show, TC features a strong supporting cast:
AJ Cook (FD2, Virgin Suicides)--as 'Lindsay', Tru's best friend...& possible love interest in season 2? Hott!!
Jessica Collins (Catch Me if You Can, Leprechaun 4)--as 'Meredith', Tru's older sister, who is a lawyer who develops a nasty drug addiction. Coke. Hott!
Zach Galifianakis (Late World with Zach) as 'Davis', her boss at the morgue. Not so hott, but 3 outta 4 ain't bad.
— Throw in Doug Petrie (BtVS) as Co-Exec Producer, Neal Moritz as an Exec Producer, & watch this show become the next cult phenomenon.

Damore's diagnosis: Five by Five. Nothing will top this show. BEST...SHOW...EVER!!!!!

Hopefully you'll give 'Tru Calling' a shot & watch the premiere, & maybe find a new fave show in the process. Make up your own minds, but please give it a shot.

Next up, Ms Dushku as Wonder Woman? No x-mas gifts till 2028? obvs

Thursdays, 8-9pm EST, on Fox.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

come on down!

dude, another dead TV star. no buzz. RIP Rod Roddy — 1937 - 2003.

his obit reveals some very intriguing info ...
— He died of breast cancer ... about 1,500 American men are diagnosed with breast cancer each year ... who knew?
— He got his first break on the television show "Soap" when Casey Kasem decided to pass on a role he deemed "too controversial"
— He first had surgery to remove cancer in his colon ON SEPTEMBER 11TH 2001!!! Bin Laden be damned!
— His obit does not mention his integral role in "Press Your Luck", but I certainly remember it.

posted by uncle grambo |
Monday, October 27, 2003  

i'm just sayin...

if anyone is doing a Google search on "Where in the world is Rick Astley right now?", i'm fairly certain that the answer is "Mick Hucknall's stomach" ... Simply Red has become Mostly Fat. How does this guy still get gigs?

if you don't know me by now, chances are I've eaten you

posted by uncle grambo |
 

you put your left foot in

easily the best fetish since Troy McClure's affinity for fish. Japanese police recently arrested a man for stealing shoes of patients at a local hospital. when they went back and searched his home, they then found a collection of 440 women's shoes - all for the left foot! kinky con carne!

our man in Ann Arbs, Rob Theakston, absolutely abhors the idea of the upcoming sequel to "Sixteen Candles" and waxes poetically (pun intended) about why producers should put a halt to this production right away. very good stuff.

ehhhh, you guys wanna go to the bahhh and beat up some smahhht kids? ehhhhh, how you like them apples? ehhh, i luvh you Skylahhhh ... EHHHH! none of that sounds good to yah? well howze about your buddy Good Will Hunting invents an legahhl altahhhnative to file swahhhping? SKYLAHHH!

mmmm, Vernors. The Globe reveals props for the Detroit produced, extra-fizzy, extra-gingery concoction in their review of "The Vernor's Story," a recent release by The University Of Michigan Press. cheers to the eternally debonair TMFTML for electronically mailing me this information. ah, techno buzz.

I Just Don't Know What To Do With This Photoyeah, the New York Press recently criticized her as not having taken "a single interesting photograph since the Koch administration", but that doesn't mean that YOU should hate the work of Annie Leibovitz. nor should their description of her as "a douchebag diva with an entourage bigger than the celebrities she photographs." if your Uncle Grambo has taught you one thing, it's that you should learn to think for yourself. so, in the interest of equal opportunity posting, you might want to hear about what The Times calls "The Annie Liebovitz Aesthetic." (j.i.c. you are interested, my thoughts of Liebowurst run closer to The NY Press than The NYT ... have you SEEN those awful Jack and Meg White photos in the most recent Vanity Fair? Y-U-C-K!)

who's zoomin' who? well if you believe Ted, Legolas is gettin' elfy with Anne Marie Chatwicke (translated: Orlando Bloom is hittin' Kate Bosworth's skins). and those rascals over at the IMDB are reporting that Lance Armstrong is using his Shimano Shifter with Sandra Bullock. i agree with The Blueprint, that second pairing seems especially odd.

also revealed at Los Angeles' hottest blog, Sharon Waxman will be leaving the Washington Post to take over the vacant role of Hollywood correspondant for The NYT. I'm not really familiar with Waxman's work because, let's face it, nobody reads The Post to get Hollywood scoop.

guess they haven't heard the lyrics to "Givin Up" by The Darkness. The Guardian makes the argument that rock 'n' roll has fallen out of love with drugs. good, that leaves more for the rest of us! all hail Peabs for providing the linkage.

if you missed Rebecca Traister's piece on oral sex in the movies because you're not a Salon Premium subscriber, you're in luck. The Guardian (London) picked it up.

you're no rock and roll fun. because he failed at raising the Arbitron Ratings at WXYT-AM 1270 here in Detroit (the "other" sports station), Gregg Henson pre-emptively quit his job as WXYT Program Director to move to WKRK (97.1 FM). even though I don't have any inside buzz on this whatsoever, my experience leads me to believe that if it smells fishy and if it looks fishy, it's probably fishy. my guess is that 3G quit before the hammer got dropped on him and he got fired. i say buzz, i've never really liked 3G and have grown to despise him since he went all Benedict Arnold after leaving WDFN. now he's mired in the midday slot and is going head to head with Jim Rome here in The D. good luck competing against the Clones, 3G ... sorry ya lost!

posted by uncle grambo |
 

FOW Buzz!

news flash! name drop whatevs.org and it can get you places! both Greedo and MacK10 were called on stage during a recent Beulah performance at the Abbey Pub in Chicago because of their connections to the illustrious Uncle Grambo! the photo below is of the lovely and talented MacK10 (aka Maw) ... that's her in the midds playing the tambourine! obvs.

photo credit: Greedo
Photo Credit: Greedo

(EDITOR'S NOTE: Contrary to published rumours, Greedo and MacK10's appearance on stage actually had NOTHING to do with whatevs.org nor with its proprietor Uncle Grambo. faithful readers should note that there's a fine line between self-serving propaganda and an outright lie. howevs, you should not let this stop YOU from trying it sometime, especially if you happen to be: A) a smokin' hottie — or — B) holding a bottle of Cris. but then again, if you've got either one of the above going for ya, you really shouldn't bother trying to namedrop whatevs.org ... lord knows I gots no clout, yo.)

posted by uncle grambo |
 

buh bye

BoSox can Grady Little. will Matt Millen be next? pretty please with sugar on top? ok, what if I substitute some blow for sugar? surely that will please SOMEONE in the Lions organization, n'est-ce pas?

these two links are for the English major geeks out there like me. first off, The Boston Globe interviews wunderkind author David Foster Wallace about his new book on the mathematical origins of infinity ... whoa (open question — can you still be a wunderkind when you're in your 40s?). and AICN is reporting that, at long last, the film adaptation of "AHWOSG" is finally underway with director Kimberly Pierce ("Boys Don't Cry") helming a script by Nick Hornby and D.V. DeVincentis ("High Fidelity", "Grosse Pointe Blank"). Lynx via TMFTML and Scott Writes, respectively.

Coolfer dishes on The Flaming Lips' long-awaited "Christmas On Mars" project. the movie will be ready by Christmas, apparently. whatevs.org has heard that one before.

props must be delivered in a timely fashion to Matthew Tobey for his on-top-of-it reportage that The A-List was updated today! and while we're on the topic of the esteemed Mr. Tobey, do your sense of humour a favour and check out his stint as Official Guest Blogger over at The Neal Pollack Invasion.

damn, his face was reading "Rock" but he really threw down a "Paper"! tricky bastard ... a Canuck wins the $5,000 first prize in the World Roshambo contest. this tip was brought to you by the freshly jet-lagged synapses of Big Matt.

it's like "Red Dawn" all over again, only substitute the whole teen rebellion in the mountains thing for a bunch of pissed off UAW workers: Rouge Steel Sold to The Russians. i hope the russians love their children, too.

although I don't like that the feature ripped its name from one of my all-time fave websites, I DO find Gawker's latest feature the most creative thing they've done in months. Check out what presumably is the first installment of FameTracker: The Week That Was. according to Choire, Tina Brown and Maer Roshan are poised for great things and Gregg Easterbrook and Brit Brit found their stock plummeting. why didn't I think of this idea first?

posted by uncle grambo |
 

a.d.i.d.a.s.

have you freakin' HEARD the new JC Chasez song? i was reading this profile of him over on MTV.com and it jolted my memory of his ridiculously best performance in the Grand Finale of "The Wade Robson Project" ... I was buzzin' pretty hard that night after a few sakes and Sapporos over at the Little Tree, but through the drunken haze of far away memories, I can now clearly recall *ALMOST* shatting my pants because this song was so tigs. "All day long I dream about sex / And all night I long I dream about sex WITH YOU!" so hott, though not a third as hott as the new video for R. Kelly's "Step In The Name Of Love (Remix)" ... Song Of The Year?

"There were slaps" ... Courtney Hole battles with Kurt Cobain's mother over control of Frances Bean outside of a Los Angeles courtroom. and as if you needed confirmation, America's Sweetheart herself admits to overdosing on Oxy.

The Observer reveals their take on the 40 Greatest American Bands. most people are carping over the inclusion of Fannypack on the list, but I'm really more concerned with how The Observer defines a "band" (or, for that matter, how they define "great"). for instance, EmmyLou Harris and Steve Earle make the list, and the last time I checked they were both solo. additionally, the list includes the likes of Timbaland and The Neptunes ... great artists and producers no doubt, but certainly not bands (unless you count N*E*R*D, that is). And while I like quirky Kurt Weill influenced mini-orchestras as much as the next guy, no effin' way that Lambchop makes my Top 200, let alone Top 40. and seriously, where's Luna, yo? link courtesy of the always best Information Leafblower.

just because Kegzies is on vacation doesn't mean that you shouldn't visit Glamorama today. check out his supremely delish write-up of "Cruel Intentions 2", the latest addition to his Glamorama Classics line of Kegzies endorsed media. buzz.

the whole Christmas Number One phenomena in Great Britain is something that I get jealous of each and every year ... wouldn't the RIAA's time be better spent coming up with unique ways like this to get people to the record store instead of beating down 12 year-old file swappers? you sure would think so. regardless, bookmakers across the pond are favoring the "Pop Idol" cover of "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)" to trump The Darkness for this year's Christmas Number One. though this is sure to be one hott contest, no way will it top the epic battle of 1997 between All Saints' "Never Ever" and the Spice Girls "Too Much" (the Spice Girls triumphed)! Blobby blobby blobby!

MTV previews the new Brit Brit album: Sex, Sex and More Sex.

Do you really love me underneath it all? er, not so much. Gwen Stefani disses the rest of her No Doubt bandmates in an attempt to go solo. somewhere Tony Kanal is slumped over in a corner, wondering why he ever dissed Gwen.

I'm goin' down, down, down down. long-time FOW and former NY Observer reporter Rebecca Traister has lept onto the Salon.com editorial staff with an article entitled "Hollywood Goes Down." it's a long at how HOTel cORAL esSEX is coming back (pun intended) in a BIG way in Hollywood films. what, with all the hype about Mark Ruffalo muff diving on Meg Rizz in "In The Cut" and William H. Macy goin' down on Maria Bello in "The Cooler," you just KNOW that somewhere Col. Angus is smiling.

bang bang. the only article I found worthwhile in this weekend's The New York Times was Elvis Mitchell's take on "The 'Kill Bill' Soundtrack: D.J. Quentin's Recycled Mix." if anyone knows where I can find a copy of "They Call Her One Eye" on DVD, holla.

Meredith buzznot only is The Old Hag sporting a new design, she also reveals that Meredith (of "The Bachelor" fame) is prominently featured in the Early Winters fall catalog! i think this is a scoop, good show ole gal! but the topic of Meredith brings up a question that's been burning within for the past few weeks ... is she an Eskimo? for reals! just TELL me she doesn't rock igloo buzz! hott!

posted by uncle grambo |
 

bulls on parade

when there's a Celeb Nip on display, you can bet your sweet bippy that whatevs.org will be there with prominent coverage. today is no exception. you see, over the weekend Gwynnie Paltrow caused a minor stir when she demanded that a FAMOUS photo taken of her during the 1999 Oscars be removed from a photography exhibition being held at the ArcLight Cinemas Hollywood gallery. her reason? nip buzz! this photograph (below left) ran in myriad publications and is described as "a candid and heartfelt record of the joy Ms. Paltrow felt - a celebratory moment captured on the lap of her mother, in her illustrious pink dress," but Paltrow's reps insisted that the photo be removed on the grounds of overexposure. c'mon Gywnnie, what's your beef? despite the fact that entire articles have been devoted to criticism of your rack, you have GOTSTA know by now that your Uncle Grambo thinks that you hung the moon. so why not let the rest of the world revel in your beauty and splendor?

the photograph in questionso hott

posted by uncle grambo |
quote-a-matic
"I started out with a lot of Audioslave or anything Chris Cornell -- it helped with the aggression. And Chris Webber from the [Sacramento] Kings. There's a real sweetness behind his eyes, but he's pissed off."
Brad Pitt on the sources of inspiration for his character in "Troy"
be like mark
ECOUTEZ


loretta lynn - van lear rose



REGARDEZ


king of new york (special edition)



LISEZ


john kennedy toole - a confederacy of dunces

adventures w/disposable income
date: 5.8.04
source: CVS
amount: $19.48
(1) liter of Captain's
(2) liters of DC w/lime
(1) mother's day card

snl season 29
REVEALED!
by Nummer & H-Bomb
where's grambo?
may 10: the strokes @ state theatre
may 15: cardigans @ magic stick
may 17: softball league @ 8:30pm
may 17: last tourist @ small's (10pm)
may 24: softball league @ 6:10pm
may 27: sea ray / stills @ st. andrews
june 6: dido @ fox theater
june 7: softball league @ 7:20pm
june 14: softball @ 6:10pm
june 19: jessica's graduation party
june 21: softball @ 8:30pm
june 28: softball @ 6:10pm
july 3 - july 11: vacation @ TBD
july 12: softball @ 7:20pm
july 19: softball @ 7:20pm
july 26: softball @ 9:40pm
august 2: softball @ 7:20pm
august 14: nuptial buzz w/c friggs + lescal!!!
october 23: nuptial buzz w/the grizz + mandypants!!!
twenty word reviews
van helsing
**
REVIEW TK.
hellboy
***
REVIEW TK.
walking tall
*
REVIEW TK.
scooby doo 2: monsters unleashed
NO BUZZ!
REVIEW TK.
dawn of the dead
****1/2
REVIEW TK.
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
****1/2
REVIEW TK.
starsky & hutch
***1/2
REVIEW TK.
girl next door
***
re-imagines "Risky Business" with Vivid Girls instead of prostitutes; marks Elisha Cuthbert's arrival as an alluring, big screen sex symbol.
eurotrip
*
Despite the best efforts of TrachtenBest, suffers greatly from a lack of forward momentum (scriptwise) and some remarkably bland casting
along came polly
**
aside from Philip Seymour Best Ever's performance ("RAIN DANCE!"), I vastly preferred this when it was called "Dharma And Greg."
archives
links
search THIS!
sponsors



powered by Blogger


In Association with Amazon.com


Feedback by blogBack

Syndicated avec XML