SOUNDTRACKS TO OUR LIVES

Uncle Grambo Song: "Lust For Life" Artist: Iggy Pop Used In: The opening sequence of 1996's "Trainspotting" (as directed by Danny Boyle) It's a little ironic that a film about smack has an opening that is the cinematic equivalent of doing a boatload of crank. In one of the most kinetic and jarring opening sequences in the history of film, we are introduced to the film's protagonist, Mark Renton (as played by Ewan McGregor), as he sprints through the alleys of Edinburgh. as viewers, we quickly learn that he's not out for a leisurely stroll; he and his best mate, Spud, have just robbed a store and are being chased by the cops. Iggy's rambunctious and ironically celebratory anthem ("liquor and drugs, liquor and drugs") blares on the soundtrack as Rent's now legendary voice-over decries the merits of "choosing life." as a first-time viewer, you are initially taken aback after this aural / visual assault of quick cuts and a pulse-pounding soundtrack, but Boyle's really just preparing you for the rest of the film. As the song plays almost through its entirety, Boyle establishes that his film is going to be at turns hilarious (the boys playing soccer) and utterly depressing (when the boys all shoot up). Not to mention the fact that this scene managed to simultaneously establish Ewan McGregor as a international movie star AND re-launch the career of Iggy Pop (particularily in the advertising community). Simply epic.

The Grizz Song: "Layla" Artist: Derek & The Dominos Used: During the unraveling of the gang in "Goodfellas" Probably my favorite scene in movie history and it's all because of the music. Bodies start falling out of a garbage truck just as the piano cues up for a 4 and a half minute instrumental that has nothing to do with Eric Clapton's "Layla," so I've never understood how it gets tacked on the end of it. Given what's going on on screen, it would seem more apt to hear Drowning Pool's "Bodies" than a soft piano and guitar-driven interlude, yet it syncs up beautifully. There's a long tracking shot in there that ends with Frankie Carbone frozen stiff inside a meat truck, which is best. Scene also includes Liotta's priceless narration and his definition of the word "Goodfella" ("Like, you'd say to somebody: 'You're gonna like this guy; he's all right. He's a goodfella. He's one of us.' You understand?"), and ends with Jimmy and Henry eating at the diner just before Jimmy gets the phonecall that Tommy's been wacked. Best. But what anchors it all is the music, a sunny instrumental which almost makes all the gruesomeness playing out on screen look endearing. Some say Scorsese's finest moment.

Sarah Wise Song: "I gave my love a Cherry" Singer: Stephen Bishop Film: "Animal House" The moment that Belushi, dressed in his toga, smashes Bishop's guitar during "I gave my love a Cherry" is amazing. I watch that scene and fall in love all over again with the best college movie ever, Animal House.

Kotoroboto Film: "Baraka" Baraka. Every single glorious 70mm second of it. Image and sound crescendo and decrescendo in unison from a meditative monkey to the respirations of midtown Manhattan to epic time lapse tracking shots of Persepolis and Karnak. These images blew my mind and burned a permanent spot in it. Made me love the earth and sent me on a mission to see and photograph it all.

Kegzies Although I'm hard pressed to come up with an "inspiring" answer to this one...I do have a troubling memory. About two years ago, during a huge wedding reception in Israel, the floor gave way and a lot of people were suddenly killed. The kicker? Somebody got it all on video tape. One minute you have people dancing and enjoying themselves, the next minute they all simply vanish. It's probably the most disturbing piece of video I've ever seen (that includes 9/11). At the time I was in Krakow and CNN International was playing the footage over and over again. In a pure coincidence, I was obsessed with the Radiohead track "In Limbo" at the time. The line where reality and art ran together? "Trap doors that open...I spiral down." Scary, scary stuff. Was the preceding paragraph too morbid for Whatevs.org? Probably, but hey that's the best I could come up with.

Manute Bol Manute Bol have to say the song is Eye of the Tiger as performed by these 3 guys Manute Bol know from Sudan who play sticks and gords with the original guitar player from Survior. It played when Manute Bol walked down the aisle to the Fox Celebrity Boxing Ring. Manute Bol will always remember it because Manute Bol won in a decision when Walter "the Fridge" Perry had a heart attack trying to climb into the ring. Guess you could say Manute Bol BLOCKED his artery. The Fridge died, Manute Bol got $30,000 to feed the starving children of Sudan, most of which are Manute Bol's. It was a great day for Manute Bol. Attached is Picture of Manute Bol and Fridge before he died.

The Gorilla Song: "Green Onions" Artist: Booker T. and the MGs Used In: "Get Shorty" Funky badass minor organ, guitar, bass riff played in unison by Steve "Col." Cropper, Booker T. and original bassist Lewis Steinberg (he's no Duck Dunn, but what evs). When Al Jackson snaps in the drums, the groove just gets deeper. Its simple but it gets under your skin and makes you feel like you can take on the world. It's in lots of movies and TV, but the best is Get Shorty, the camera work alone is great in its featured scene. Chili Palmer (Travolta) walks into a yuppie-trash-nuevo-LA restaurant, walks up stairs, nonchalantly throws the intimidating Bear (James Gandolfini) down the stairs by his balls and proceeds to stare down the equally intimidating Bo (Delroy Lindo) and tell him what he wants. Every junior high guy wants to take out the bullies, Chili does with a little help from Green Onions.

JT Lancer Song: "Cool Rider" Used In: "Grease 2" Cool Rider...I've never been able to look at a ladder in the same way after watching Michelle Pfeiffer straddle away as Stephanie Zinone in the famed Grease 2. "To a coooool rider, a coooool rider. If he's cool enough, He can burn me through and through. Whhoa ohhhh If it takes forever, Then I'll wait forever. No ordinary boy, no ordinary boy is gonna do. I want a rider that's cool." That's right.... Hot!

JenRio The Song: "Stuck in the Middle with You" Artist: Steelers Wheel Used in: "Reservoir Dogs" Seeing Michael Madsen shimmy to this "Dylanesque" (thank you Steven Wright) ditty and then callously remove a tortured cop's ear was (and still is) a highlight in cinematic history. What a brilliant combination of inappropriate lightheartedness and savage brutality-- kudos to Quentin Tarantino. Not only is the movie praiseworthy, the soundtrack is stellar.

WinkleBest Song: "Welcome To The Jungle" Artist: Guns n Roses When: 1987 Grammy Awards I'm not sure if it was Sam Kinison's introduction (THEY ARE GOING TO ROCK YOU INTO HELLLLLLL), Axl's swaying, or Slash's top hat, but when I saw that performance I knew I was seeing rock n roll genius and pure decadence. I was almost moved to tears. For some reason my parents actually recorded the Grammys that year and I have watched this performance over and over again and it only gets better.

Les/Cal I have to go with the SNL skit from the Mike Meyers host-episode when Mary Katherine Gallagher sneaks in and auditions for an Aerosmith video. Maybe it's on account of the eye (joke from skit) but when Molly and Steven start singing "sweet emotion" together, which culminates in a MKG-style full-body lick of Steven, I can never hold back roars of laughter and screaming. I mean, what the hell else do you do when you are standing next to Steven Tyler? (Actually, my sister met him in an NYC fashion show party and said, "dude, I love you! you're awesome!" and he said, "dude I love you to!!," which is probably the route I'd take too instead of the full body lick...) Molly captures that feeling of ridiculous glee when we meet a famous person, but never gives up her true self to the moment, as she shares her armpit finger smell with Steven and ends up crashing through a wall. That's gotta be my favorite music/tv/movie moment evs.

Nummer The year: 1999. I'll never forget the time in I invited the Pizza Hut delivery driver in while I got the money ready. We were so drunk, that my friend Chris decided it would be funny to stab the pizza guy! So he goes into the kitchen and gets my 12 inch butcher knife. He starts running at him like a mad man chanting "Pepperoni Lovers". The pizza guy dropped the food and we ended up never paying. During this whole scene, Kid N' Play's "2 Hype" was playing. Unforgettable. Wait...that never happened. I'd have to go with the fight scene in Starship Troopers set to Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You".

T-Rob i guess one of my favorite moments in electronic music had to have been when i was 18. i snuck into a richie hawtin party in windsor. he was playing this track "spastik". for those unfamiliar with the track it basically is a drum machine circle mindfuck for nine minutes, with a sub bass kick drum that feels like an earthquake. so i'm sitting on a tower of speakers, taking a break from dancing and soaking in the vibe of the people and rich decides to play "spastik". i had no idea what to expect, having never heard the track before...but the crowd was definitely freaking out so i knew i was in for a good time. but when the kick drum came in the bass was so intense and caught me so off guard that it made me throw up.

APLarcadia Song: "Running" Artist: Twyker / Klimek / Heil w/Franka Potente Used in: "Run Lola Run" The evening was filled with so many peculiarities and epiphanies that — in hindsight — it's not much of a surprise that I found myself in Ann Arbor's State Theater some years back to experience this movie in quite a unique state of mind. With extremely uncomfortable and off-centered chairs, along with the company of two equally enlightened friends, three different versions of this track with vocals from Lola herself set the sonic plane for three different twists of fate. This song and movie will be with me forever.

MacK10 Ok, for those who know me really well, I bet you're expecting a gushing rant about some pre-"Joshua Tree" U2 song. Hate to disappoint y'all, but I got another thing comin, Judas Priest style. During the summer of '94, I happened to be biking to Mackinac Island and sadly, I missed the brilliant four-date Lollapalooza showcase at the Knob. My best friend Alyssa, thankfully, recounted every waking detail of the second day in an eight-page letter sent to me while docked in Traverse City. The contents inside this note would ultimately lead me to one of the greatest British bands to emerge from the post-Madchester scene of the early 90s. I'm talking about The Verve and their album "A Storm In Heaven." Alyssa's letter briefly touched upon performances by Smashing Pumpkins and my charming man, Nick Cave, but nothing prepared me for the undying love she professed for The Verve. She mistakenly took Richard Ashcroft for Simon Jones, telling me how gorgeous he was and how his skinny butt pranced around barefoot while the surging riffs from Nick McCabe exploded during the 10-minute rendition of "Gravity Grave." I was familiar with their single "Slide Away" because it was a staple on 120 Minutes, but Alyssa's letter freaked me out to the point where I knew she and I would fall in love with this band ten times over. We did just that, too. While the sun turned the sky pink during those summer evenings, she and I soaked up "Star Sail" like the teenyboppers we were. We'd never heard anyone deliver thunderous riffs like Nick McCabe and not even Bono had hypnotized us like Ashcroft did. I guess you could say some things never change.

Nessa Song: "Take Five" Artist: Dave Brubeck Quartet Used in: "Pleasantville" Just as the symbolic black-and-white to color transformation in the "we're not in Kansas anymore" scene of "The Wizard of Oz" marks the beginning of one character's journey of self-discovery, the gradual colorization of various characters and items in the move "Pleasantville" marks the beginning of an entire town's on that same journey. During the initial transitions of characters, Dave Brubeck Quartet's "Take Five" creates a visceral connection between viewer and the movie. Though many may not know the history of jazz and the role the song itself had as a transition between "old" and "new" jazz, the viewer can absolutely *feel* the change, whether consciously understanding it or not. The entire movie is accompanied by its soundtrack in this fashion. As the town progresses, so does the music. I didn't speak for a good ten minutes after seeing this movie. Social commentary buzz! Always good to provide coffee house fodder for the bourgie college sect. In sum: I love this song, I love this movie, I love this song's place in this movie.

MandyPantalons Song: "Sugar High" When: As sung by Renee Zellweger in "Empire Records" It’s not so much the lyrics of the song that make this scene so triumphant, but rather the way Renee Zellweger overcomes any hesitation she has about singing in front of the crowd and just sings, and sings big. And she realizes after she finishes how good it made her feel. This scene is a nail-biter – I get nervous because she’s nervous and when she finally just sings it’s the biggest relief. It’s like, if you’re going to do something – do it all the way and do it with confidence. And she does and it makes her happy and everyone around her proud, including me.

Friggedy (aka C Friggs) "The Big Lebowski" or as I all it: "Zen and the Art of Bowling" One of the Bros. Coen's best, and timely because again Bush is at war with Iraq. (You can almost hear Cheney screaming, "The Chinaman is not the issue! I'm talking about a line in the sand!" before pulling a gun on all us Jimmy Dale "Smokey" Gilmores of the world.) This film is full of SOOL moments: Kenny Rogers & Special Edition's "I Just Checked In To See What Condition My Condition Was In," for those dream-turns-nighmare moments when life is Jackie Treehorn's twisted "Log Jammin'" and you're the cable guy. Then there's the almost-slow-motion, reluctant nod to the supreme power of Jesus' bowling skills as the Gypsy Kings play the Eagles "(Bienvenido al) Hotel California." But my favorite is the credits/opener, right after the Stranger introduces the Dude and the rug is soiled. Set to Bob Dylan's "The Man In Me," this song rolls perfect rhythm as the good people of 'Los Angalees' roll strike after strike in perfect syncronization. This song works well as it foreshadows Maude and The Dude's relationship ("takes a woman like you/ to get through/ to the man in me) and is used again to good effect as The Dude dreams on his new rug. Another lazy night at the bowling alley. "But, oh, what a wonderful feeling."

Glavzies Song: "You're the Best" Artist: Joe "Bean" Esposito Used In: "The Karate Kid" "Fight till you drop. Never stop. You can't give up until you reach the top. [fight] You're the best in town. [fight] Listen to that sound ... inaudible ..." I think I watched the Karate Kid about 30 times this past summer alone. No other movie has affected my life so dramatically. First off, it taught me how a scrawny punk kid with an attitude can get Elizabeth Shue to fall madly in love with even though he's a wimpy dork. And she dumps Billy Zabka!!! What was she thinking? Unbelievable. This is on the same level as things likely to happen in CHiPs. Also, Karate Kid gave me the confidence to wear all white with a bright read jacket. Who says you can't wear white after Labor Day?

Damore Song: "The Natural" (score) Artist: Randy Newman Film: "The Natural" Roy Hobbes, the best ball player that should have been, gets his life & dreams put on-hold after falling for the wrong girl. Many years later he gets a crack w/ the NY Knights, a last place team. A ~38 year old rookie, he becomes a national phenom. W/ a chance to win the pennant, Hobbes, fresh out of the hospital, has a chance to win the game. Facing pain & adversity, he turns to the crowd to see a former lover & his son in the stands. Next pitch he hits a long drive over the wall into to stadium lights. As he swings the bat & rounds the bases you hear an orchestra playing (da daaaa...da da da da) as all the lights begin to explode & shower the field like a Chinese fireworks factory set ablaze. The song goes perfectly w/ the lights exploding & the victory jaunt around the bases to win the game. Anytime I hear this song, it reminds me that no matter how long you have been side-tracked from acheiving your dreams, there is always hope that one day you can still make them happen. Gibby's pinch-hit homer back in '88 was shades of Roy Hobbes. This song should have been playing in the stadium that night.

B.B. Fett Song: "Radio Ga Ga" Artist: Queen When: During Live Aid at Wembley Stadium On the video feed that most networks used, there is a moment during the second chorus where a cameraman positioned at the rear of the stage catches Freddie Mercury silhouetted against thousands of arms raised, clapping perfectly in time to the music. Goosebumps every time...

and since this is the official conclusion to Amanda Bynes Week on whatevs.org, i'd like to relay that The Box Office Guru is predicting a $15 million opening for "W.A.G.W". and if that isn't enough Bynes buzz for ya, there's an article in today's Los Angeles Times that focuses on the resurgence of "girl power" at the movies and focuses largely on Bynes. Bynes. she wasn't even on my radar a week ago, now she's high on the Hottie File. but just wait til I reveal some Keira Knightley buzz ... hottness personified!

NUMMER	H-BOMB
EPISODE 16: BERNIE MAC / GOOD CHARLOTTE (4/5/03)
Another Season 28 episode, another host I'm not really familar with. I've seen his small supporting roles in Who's The Man, Booty Call and Friday, but have successfully avoided him over the last few years when he starting gaining tons of popularity. I guess I've considered my comedic needs pretty full without him. I still say this episode has buzz though. Queen Latifah a few episodes ago really drove the "don't judge a book by it's cover" lesson home. As long as Rudolph and Morgan don't get creative control of 75% of the sketeches, this episode could pull off a hail mary - let's just hope Astronaut Jones doesn't introduce Cadet Mac! As for Good Charlotte, I honestly don't know anything by them. I'll probably recognize something, but my 89X listening days ended the day I walked out of that office. Nothing but CDs, WDET and Stern in the car rides for me. Sorry Good Charlotte. I say no buzz.	Bernie Mac. Most of the time I find him annoying, but sometimes he can manage some laughs. In light of the surprisingly good Latifah episode though, this may very well be one of the best shows yet this season. Who knows. All I can do is just pray that the 2 week break has brought forth some good, unique skits and hope for the best. Good Charlotte. Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous is about all I know and that's stretching it. In the words of Simon Cowell, "Whoopee."

last but certainly not lizz, FOW fave M. Hudson Hawk is back with the second installment of his Car Culture column. in what is quickly becoming a must-read column, this time our correspondant takes on The Big Three and their relative inability to effectively market to Gen Y. he makes a good point: the ironic thing is that Detroit is currently the epicenter of "cool", but the marketing and sales efforts of Detroit's auto giants seem have been extremely lackluster in Q1 2003 and as far removed from "cool" as humanly possible. my suggestion? hire Bynes! good from a prime-time FOW and from The DetNews!

although i'm checking with my sources out on the left coast, i've yet to receive confirmation on the rumours that they're changing the movie title from "What A Girl Wants" to "What A Graham Wants" ... developing!

however, what's more important than a movie studio being overly PC is the fact that Bynes is a hottie that somehow eluded my radar! how'd i miss this one? note to self: must watch more Nickelodeon.

¹Editor's Note: That's what you get for hiring the guy who directed "Meet Joe Black!"

and for those Pinko commie bastards who ask "War, what is it good for?", Nessman reports that this war "could be one of the most successful programs to end nicotine addiction in history." take THAT, Susan Sarandon! are the people behind The Truth.com behind the war? i smell some major conspiracy hittins!

¹ note to Wendy Case: there's more to life than interviewing Kathleen Edwards and Spoon! aren't you s'posed to be representin' with Jack and Meg Whizz with all your SXSW Indie Cred? get an interview!

and those of you who are loyal visitors of The Modern Age may have already discovered this site, but those of you who haven't should take a spin over to MelodyNelson.com. it's quite similar to The Modern Age in content, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. i just stumbled onto this site earlier today and it has already made my list of bookmarks. check it.

(as found in the article by Leslie Harpold called "A Brief Catechism of Rock Shows, Part I", via themorningnews.org)

UPDATE: in light of these recent events, Corey Clark has been eliminated from "American Idol" for failing to disclose his criminal record (4.1.03).

and before you Sparty supporters unleash any more haterade on Uncle Grambo, the results of a State News sanctioned readers poll shows that 72% of MSU students are "embarrassed to be a Spartan after Sunday evening's riots" (as of 2:11 pm). so just own up to the fact that East Lansing blows and don't try to spin this as anti-Spartan bias from a proud Wolverine. ask The Grizz, I was representin' with a State t-shirt all day yesterday! i just think it's a shame that, after all these years, MSU students haven't learned the difference between Partying On and Spartying On.

it just wouldn't be a Sparty loss without an accompanying riot. combining both Friday night's victory and Sunday's loss to Texas, 26 people were arrested in East Lansing this weekend for Spartying too hard. after the Spartans committed 427 second-half fouls trying to stop Texas point guard T.J. Ford, the denizens of East Lansing ran amuck on Grand Rivs, setting fires, tearing down street signs and flipping cars in what has become an annual tradition in Spartyville. no word yet on how many couches met an inglorious fate at the hands of drunken frat stars outside of Jersey Giant. is that Kabul or East Lansing?

(btw for those of you who voted "hot" -- this tranny just won the World Transvestite Competition ... it's a man, baby! you're a sicko!)