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Friday, October 25, 2002  

weekend wrizzap-up

i'm getting ready to pack my bags for the weekend. off to Beni-Best-Evs in a few minutes, but I think i'm gonna skip out on Badly Drizz this eve. sorry! anyhizzle my nizzles, here is some last minute web-surfin' fodder for y'all.

the comic geniuses (no disrespect to JP McKrengels, who has certainly earned his title as Comic Genius) at Fametracker.com eviscerate Edward Norton in their latest installment of The Fame Audit. the simple fact of the matter is that Ed Norton no longer has any buzz. then again, i guess once you've "been there and done that", indie cred isn't quite as important as $10 million paydays and the opportunity to bang Salma Hayek on a nightly basis. wait, now that I think about it, Norton has more buzz than ever!

if your idea of a great movie mixes machine guns and radical T & A, chances are you are already a fan of Andy Sidaris' work. you know, classic straight to video flix like "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" and "Picasso Trigger". c'mon, admit it...you've seen them. you know the set-up, a group of minor league Playmates play like Charlie's Angels and take on drug lords and gun smugglers, with equal importance placed on capitalizing on any and every opportunity to show off their wondrous tatts. even though Mr. Sidaris is no relation to Amy Sidaris ("Strangers With Candy") or even David Sedaris ("Naked"), the fanboys at Cine-Shlock-A-Rama have posted a pretty good interview with this living legend.

and last but not least, this little story is worth recapping. i went home for a PB&J today at lunch and happened to catch the new Tori Amos video on MTV2. i'll try to summarize the plot as best i can for you. the video opens with a close-up of a woman's leg walking down the street. the camera pulls back to reveal that the leg is NOT attached to a body...the leg is cut-off just above the kneecap, and in its place sits the head of Tori Amos. the leg kinda hops around the street until it meets a similarly disfigured arm. this arm is cut-off at the elbow, and just so happens to have Adrien Brody's head attached to it. at this point, i was like "what the fuck?" i wasn't alarmed by the bodyless leg talking to the bodyless arm so much as being super confused by seeing Adrien Brody. last time he was spotted ANYWHERE was "Summer of Sam". anyway, the Tori-Leg and the Brody-Arm start having conversation...naturally! well, things are going just swimmingly for this match made in heaven until the Tori-Leg's shoe falls off. then it is revealed that the Tori-Leg has a big toe where her little toe should be. the Brody-Arm starts laughing at the Tori-Leg because, evidently, everybody knows that you shouldn't have two big toes! even in a world where detached arms are acceptable, nasty feet are just plain gross. looks like Dr. Scholl wasn't a lunatic, after all. that mutha knew what he was up to! the plot goes on from there, the Tori-Leg cries and buries its feet in the sand, blah blah blah. basically it is probably the worst video I've seen since Michael Jackson played a fat, white Jewish guy in "Ghosts". this video was just TOO crazed, which didn't really seem possible until now. it was obviously made by the two headed love-child of Salvador Dali and Luis Bunuel, who grew up with a massive foot fetish and a taste for suckin' on toes, and spent the months leading up to the video shoot licking toads that were bred in pools of Mountain Dew, Liquid Paper and Crystal Pepsi Meth. obvs. worst.

posted by uncle grambo |

creepy con carne

evolution buzz

posted by uncle grambo |

sniffsmoker buzz

emails have been flooding in to me this morning regarding the Jeff Smoker situation. all involve cocaine, which of course bring immediate Bobby Briggs references to mind. remember when Leo stashed the coke in the football in "Fire Walk With Me"? best! anyway, here are two excerpts from FOWs that shall remain nameless (lord knows we wouldn't want to get sued for libel!)

UNNAMED FOW #1: "Hey - I heard from someone at the cottage party that on a party raid performed by the MSU DPS (or whatever they call them there) that they walked into a room and found Smoker sitting all by his lonesome with an Everest size portion of Bolivian Marching Dust on a table in front of him. This info was relayed to this person (some guy at the party) by one the DPS officers who is a friend. The officers on the scene asked the senior officer what they should do and then decided to let everything go. However, if this proves to be true, then this may explain the sudden and unexplained suspension. Possibly, Smoker has been suffering from "unexplained nose bleeds?"

ANONYMOUS FOW #2: "*Just call Jeff Smoker a Coker.... yep.. supposedly he's dealing with the white stuff. That's what I heard. But MSU VP Terry Denbow said "He's just not a quarterback, he's an MSU Student, he's somebody's son" (or something like that. Statenews.com has the full story) (**my sis shared that bit of news with me this morning. I really hope it's not coke. We'll still get our ass beat with or without him tomorrow)."

for more details on the situation, head over to Bitter Rivals.com ... it's a U of M vs. MSU message board with some more details on the situation.

posted by uncle grambo |

snl - season 28 revealed!

here is an advance preview of tomorrow night's Halloween Compilation Episode from whatevs.org's official SNL commentary staff, Nummer and the H-Bomb:

Special Episode: Halloween Special - 10/26/02
Pre-Show Comments

Nummer: If memory serves, there hasn't been a Halloween special in awhile. Don't be confused with the annual Christmas Past specials and the semi-regular Presidential Bashes. For the most part, SNL specials achieve exactly what they're designed for - to show viewers their favorite sketches. To most, it's a good trip down memory lane as you'll probably see an old favorite again for the first time in years. As to someone who watches an unhealthy amount of SNL, the sketches are usually ones that have long been played out which can result in a semi-boring SNL "off week". I'm sure Adam Sandler's Weekend Update makeshift costumes, Norm McDonald's Trick or Treat sketch, Travolta's gay vampire and the infamous Coneheads Halloween sketch will all make an appearance. However, NBC does manage to throw a few surprises into these things from time to time (like their decision to OPEN the Best of Will Ferrell Special with the Blue Oyster Cult cowbell sketch). Hopefully it will be updated enough from the 1998 Halloween Special Video currently still on sale at amazon. At any rate, next week begins another stretch of new live episodes.

Heather: Usually, I'm not really into the compilation SNL episodes, so with the exception of "The Best of Will Ferrell," this will be the first one I've sat down and watched in a long while. I'm actually looking forward to a sketch featuring Adam Sandler's "crazy" costumes It's been a good couple of years since I've seen any of those. Anything else, however, is a toss up. I'm not expecting to laugh my ass off, but I'm hoping for just enough to keep me watching.

posted by uncle grambo |

surf's up

man, the Web hasn't been revealing very many stories over the last few days. hence the complete lack of posts yesterday and today's limited posts. thank god for The Prime Ministers, otherwise we'd all be sunk. but despite claims of inclement surfing buzz, a few good items were revealed this morning. and they include...

— Salon.com reveals some Ivy buzz this morning. there is a short review and some audio clips from their new album of covers called "Guestroom."

— From the banks of the Red Cedar comes word that Michigan State University has suspended starting quarterback Jeff Smoker -- indefinitely! what kind of buzz will this reveal? sexual harrassment? drugs? he's been stealing lunch money from freshmen? who knows!?!

Nummer and the H-Bomb won't be appreciating this next bit of news. MTV.com reveals that Jimmy Fallon has been cast alongside Steve Martin in the new film adaptation of Martin's novel "Shopgirl." AIDS.

— And finally, MTV.com also reveals that Ja Rule Calls DMX (and i quote) "A Jealous Crack Addict" on his next album. this feud has been boiling for a few months now, and this may be the straw that breaks DMX's back. developing...

posted by uncle grambo |

you're fifty things more than a pretty faceprime time

this morning's Detroit News showcases an epic melding of whatevs.org faves. the grizz profiles The Prime Ministers on the eve of their biggest show to date -- an opening slot for Imperial Teen on Saturday night. it's probably one of the more in-depth interviews I have ever read with the PMs, and although I've known lead singer Todd Wicks and bass player extraordinaire Lawyer Ned Friendship since high school, I still feel like I learned something about the band's mission and goals. if you aren't getting married or going out on a date with a Playmate on Saturday night, you have no excuse for NOT going to the Magic Stick for what is destined to be a night filled with sugar-coated power pop from Imperial Teen, not to mention a chance to see the bright lights of adoration shine heavy on The Prime Ministers. congrats must go out to the PMs...you're finally getting some long-overdue props. now when's the new record coming out? and just to know that it's not only Uncle Grambo calling out for the boys to head back into the studio, Shannon McCarthy from Real Detroit was recently inquiring about the same thing!

posted by uncle grambo |
Thursday, October 24, 2002  



posted by uncle grambo |

fuoco buzz

woman about Detroit Christina Fuoco was apparently in attendance of a local screening of "8 mile" the other night. director Curtis Hanson made a surprise appearance, but not as surprising as Fuoco's turn from music writer to film critic. Her review of the screening AND the film throws props to Em, calling him "stunning" in his feature film debut, and is featured on this morning's CDNow AllStar News.

posted by uncle grambo |
Wednesday, October 23, 2002  

in stores november 25

posted by uncle grambo |

snl - season 28 revealed!

in their continuing series on all things SNL, nummer and the h-bomb have turned in another dazzling review of the 10.19.02 episode starring John McCain and The White Stripes! you can check it out by clicking through here:

Episode 3: John McCain / The White Stripes (10/19/02).

And, as always, you can always access their other fine reviews of this season's episodes. Expect a fancy SNL mini-portal featuring photos, press reviews and reviewer bios to be posted this weekend...enjoy! Until then, here are the other links as promised...

Episode 1: Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E-Street Band
Episode 2: Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill

posted by uncle grambo |

"they're not even apples"

there was a point in 1998, where if one were to classify certain "indie bands" as being "indie" (and therefore even MORE "indie" than bands that were already noted as "indie"...or what evs), those "indie-est" would've been part of the Elephant 6 Collective ... you know, bands like Apples In Stereo, Neutral Milk Hotel, Olivia Tremor Control, Elf Power and so on and so forth. For all intents and purposes, the Dogma 95 of the music industry. The Elephant 6 was kind of like the Dream Team of Indies, bands who shared a common appetite for grandiose yet minimal pop music who kind of favored Brian Wilson as their patron saint. I was first introduced to the Apples In Stereo by the Chicago-based FOW Wartinsmooth at a show at Chicago's legendary (yet now defunct) Lounge Ax, and I also caught them a few times over the years with assorted FOWs like ConnieNYC and The Grizz (obvs!). well, unfortunately for indie music fans worldwide, The Elephant 6 Collective has called it a day. The participating bands will not necessarily break up, but the collective as we know it is now dead. Which is worst.

posted by uncle grambo |

neal pollock's pussyneal pollack is the funniest man in America

if i don't get fired for posting to this weblog from work, i'll certainly get fired sooner or later for continually laughing out loud when I read Neal Pollack's The Maelstrom, a daily blog who's humour quotient is off the charts. for instance, today's post involves another go-round with Pollack's recent (and fictional) arrest in France for "inciting racial hatred through pretentious writing", largely for saying that "The Koran isn't worth masturbating into." He also takes on Bruce Springsteen by describing a recent (and fictional) Springsteen concert in, of all places, Rome. upon seeing the reaction of the Italians to America's favourite rocker, he informs us that "It warmed my heart that foreigners could see the best of what American culture has to offer. There are two ways to look at America from abroad right now. One is the wrong way, the left-wing way, which portrays George Bush and his evil band of brigands as Bible-toting gun-happy plutocratic monsters bent on destroying all that is sane and good in the world, not caring how many prostitutes they shoot up when they bust into the saloon. Then there’s the real America; the one where a working-class kid from New Jersey can work with class and meet a bunch of guys in New Jersey and start a band, getting on the cover of Time magazine before he's 25 but eventually having all his hopes and dreams sucked dry by a meaningless lawsuit and then finding himself reborn as an accidental patriot and then marrying a supermodel and becoming uncomfortable with his multi-million dollar house and then recasting himself as a sad acoustic troubadour and then rising to the occasion on America's darkest day. That's the American life that we all live, and know, and love so well."

posted by uncle grambo |

radio radio

despite the fact that whenever you turn on the radio these days you hear Avril Lavigne's catchy yet overplayed "Sk8r Boi", there are a few shining moments of artistic triumph eminating from FM radio towers. i'm mainly talking about Eminem's "Lose Yourself", Nirvana's "You Know You're Right", Madonna's "Die Another Day", and Missy Elliott's "Work It." you know, the type of songs that cause an involuntary reaction of turning the radio on full blast. the kind that require conversations be halted until their conclusion. the kind that DEMAND your attention. and, fortunately, the kind that you will be hearing a lot on radio for the next few months. and, with the exception of "Lose Yourself" (building serious "8 mile" buzz and serious contender for The Grahammy's Single Of The Year), it seems that a few writers from The Village Voice concur. today's issue features Sterling Clover dissecting the new Bond theme (he calls it "A blistering zeitgeist-negation, hostile and uneasy—as a single, a club track, a Bond theme") and Jane Dark taking a look at Nirvana and Missy ("spooky-catchy" and "omnivorously fun and implausibly inventive", respectively); polar opposites in terms of style, but surprisingly similar as musical revolutionaries.

posted by uncle grambo |

hit me with your best shot

bloggin' hard and bloggin' fast on a wednesday morning. here's the best the web has to offer this AM.

— i was thinking about instituting a "quote of the week" (for lack of a creative name) on whatevs.org for the last few days. i had a quote in mind (which I will likely reveal next week), until I read an article on the upcoming release of Kurt Cobain's "Journals" on Salon.com this morning: " Oh Pleez GAWD I can't handle the success!"

— Despite the fact that it won the Emmy for Best Dramatic Series less than a month ago, Aaron Sorkin's "West Wing" is taking a critical bashing over this season's ridiculously lackluster episodes. Even the noble New York Times has joined the fray, even proclaiming that the show has jumped the shark with the article "Shark's Pearly Teeth Gnash Near The West Wing."

— there was a period over the last two weeks when the grizz's lack of appearances in the Detnews began causing alarm in the journalistic community. fortunately, he has emerged from the two very solid articles in two days. yesterday, of course, was his look at the "American Idol" tryouts, and today he hits us with a piece on Hollywood's ever-constant infatuation with remakes entitled "Haven't we seen this before?"

— it's funny because it's true. even though it was released in September of 2001, "Is This It?" is easily the best album of 2002...obvs. and The Strokes continue to dazzle audiences around the States on their neverending tour. MTV.com reviews their recent Seattle show here.

— while it has been bashed by critics since its inception, Slate.com is an essential stop every morning. it's basically a Weblog with a small staff of professional writers and the occasional guest contributor that focuses on politics, entertainment, arts and culture. you should bookmark it. anyhooz, one of the more interesting contributors in any given week is a writer by the name of Emily Nussbaum, who scours magazines and the Web in search of the critics' take on cultural hot-button issues. her column is called "Summary Judgement", and this week features takes on Dave Eggers' novel "You Shall Know Us By Our Velocity", David E. Kelley's new Fox show about babe-a-licious lawyers called "Girls Club", and this weekend's box office champ "The Ring", among others. in case this doesn't quite sell the column for you, here is her excerpt on Eggers...

"You Shall Know Our Velocity, Dave Eggers (McSweeney's Books). "MTV's Jackass, as scripted by Samuel Beckett," praises New York magazine's Jon Homans. "Numb schtick," says Joy Press in the Village Voice. Whatever their opinion of Egger's self-published road-trip novel, critics find themselves helplessly reviewing the man as well as the book. "Who is doing more, single-handedly and single-mindedly, for American writing? If his reclusive habits only fan the flames of media interest, so what? He should be left alone to go about his business and to do good works, of which You Shall Know Our Velocity is unquestionably one. And we will leave him alone. Very soon. Any minute now," writes Lev Grossman in Time."

posted by uncle grambo |
Tuesday, October 22, 2002  

the donnas want YOU!

posted by uncle grambo |

mad dog blitz

— So i travelled to Besties at lunch this afternoon fully prepared to spend $250. i was going to purchase Nintendo GameCube, the new Badly Drizz CD, and the new Pavement DVD. unfortch for Best Buy, they didn't have any of these items in stock! are you fookin' kidding me? this was the worst Tuesday for Besties since the day that "Jackie Brown" and "Pulp Fiction" were released and they didn't have those in stock.

— in Literary Buzz, today's Salon.com features an interview with Michael Chabon, author of the new children's novel called "Summerland". while you might not yet have heard of this particular novel, you almost certainly know Chabon's name as being the author of "Wonder Boys", "The Mysteries of Pittsburgh", the Pulitzer Prize winning "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay", and the screenwriter for the upcoming "Spiderman" sequel. obvs!

— last but certainly not lizz, one of the leaders of the FOW movement in Ann Arbs passed this final link along to your Uncle Grambo. APLarcadia remembered my fondness for all things Dave Eggers, so he passed along the link to this story from Sunday's Los Angeles Times: Eggers' Trail Of Broken Hearts.

posted by uncle grambo |

on fi-ahmariah revealed!

thanks to a2-based FOW Mack10 for revealing this mariah buzz. Billboard Magazine is reporting that Mariah's new album will be called "Charmbracelet" ...what? this is easily the worst album title since the days of "Fairweather Johnson", but that doesn't mean that I won't be at Besties first thing on December 10 to pick this shizz up. and while the album cover hasn't yet been revealed, here's a screen grab of Mariah from her latest video, courtesy of mariahcarey.com.

posted by uncle grambo |

next clarkson buzz?american idol...revealed!

the grizz was hard at work yesterday covering the "American Idol" auditions at the Athaneum Hotel in Greektown. so hard at work, in fact, that he almost missed the beginning of the Flaming Lips / Beck extravaganza last night. more on that later. but the grizz's article is an interesting peek behind the curtain of celebrity wanna-be's and the lengths they'll go to for a shot at stardom. and when i say lengths, i mean that quite literally. the piece is shaped around a 17-year old hottie named Sarah Walker who flew all the way in from Seattle for a moment like this.

(EDITOR'S UPDATE: turns out that she's also a media 'ho! she's also quoted in an article in the rival Freep. this brought to mind Shannon Doherty's character from "Heathers" who always ended up on camera after each of her friend's funerals. obvs.)

posted by uncle grambo |

whatevs.org ff2k3 update

posted below is the top story in the whatevs.org ff2k3 fantasy football league. it originally appeared on the league's website, which unfortunately is not open to the public. however, this reporter was privy to the source code and was able to post this hot story for the rest of the world to enjoy. so, uh, enjoy!

Team Blue is Red Hot
Oct 22, 2002
GLINKA'S ANGELSTroy, MI (AP) - As comedian Jerry Seinfeld might say, "Whaaat's the deal with TeamBlue?" As recently as Week 5, when Team Blue sat in the basement of the whatevs.org ff2k3 with a 1-4 record, Coach Glinka's squad was the laughing stock of the league. But then Glinka was struck with the brilliant idea of securing Kate Bosworth and the "Blue Crush" girls as his team's mascot, replacing the ultra-lame Blue Man Group. The result? A two-game winning streak, putting Team Blue right back in the thick of this year's highly competitive playoff race. Kudos, props and congrats must go out to Team Blue for this brilliant strategic move. Obvs.

posted by uncle grambo |
Monday, October 21, 2002  


my good buddy Wartinsmooth semi-recently tied the knot, Ireland style. congrats must go out to one of my original U of M homeys, we survived many tough times in the Michigan House, Bagel Factory Apartments and 910 Greenwood. turns out that the wedding was covered in the pages of VIP, which I'm told is the Irish equivalent of People Magazine. Media buyers tell me that it's the largest monthly mag on the Isle from whence the likes of Sinead, Bono and Shane McGowan sprang. what appears below is a scan of the article...check out Wartinbest and his blushing bride, not to mention other Kool Kat FOWs like Jeff Winkler and Jim Darling. obvs!

i wanna die with Atabey

posted by uncle grambo |

possible spoilers revealed

if you're headed to tonight's Beck / Flaming Lips extravanganza at the Detroit Opera House, you may or may not want to reveal this review of last Thursday's tour opener in Minneapolis"It was a night of childish pranks, outright silliness, and pure brilliance." for those who are going tonight, it should be pure tigs. looks like we'll be meeting up at Plaka's around 7pm for pre-show coneys, if anyone is interested. obvs.

posted by uncle grambo |

"cold mountain" = the next "english patient"

one of Hollywood's biggest problems is that it suffers from some major self-esteem issues. the media at large (including their subset of professional film critics) constantly bashes Hollywood for churning out movies that appeal to the lowest common denominator simply because that population gives them the most return on their investment. it makes good business sense, but studio execs also feel the need to stretch and extend their reputations with the aptly-named "prestige films" (a good case in point are The Brothers Weinstein -- Harvey runs Miramax, which largely focuses on indie movies with some artistic aspirations, and Bob runs Dimension, a highly profitable arm that produces low-budget / high-return horror flicks). and since it is rare that Hollywood can generate an original "prestige" idea, they often take to adapting Pulitzer and/or Booker Prize winning novels and turn them into two and a half hour snoozefests. probably the worst offender of this was Miramax with their filmic equivalent of a Nyquil overdose, "The English Patient" (directed by Anthony Minghella). next on the slate is the adaptation of Charles Frazier's woefully boring "Cold Mountain" ... and if you guessed that Minghella is taking the reins of this film, you were right. despite the fact that the flick has Jack White buzz, it's surely gonna suck. The Los Angeles Times' David Gritten reports from Romania, where the film is currently being shot. sids.

posted by uncle grambo |
Sunday, October 20, 2002  


Nummer and the H-Bomb are back with a scathing review of the Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill episode of Saturday Night Live (original air date: 10.12.02). Writer bios to be posted soon. Until then, enjoy another installment of SNL Season 28 Revealed: what evs (dot org) | SNL Season 28: Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill

posted by uncle grambo |
"I started out with a lot of Audioslave or anything Chris Cornell -- it helped with the aggression. And Chris Webber from the [Sacramento] Kings. There's a real sweetness behind his eyes, but he's pissed off."
Brad Pitt on the sources of inspiration for his character in "Troy"
be like mark

loretta lynn - van lear rose


king of new york (special edition)


john kennedy toole - a confederacy of dunces

adventures w/disposable income
date: 5.8.04
source: CVS
amount: $19.48
(1) liter of Captain's
(2) liters of DC w/lime
(1) mother's day card

snl season 29
by Nummer & H-Bomb
where's grambo?
may 10: the strokes @ state theatre
may 15: cardigans @ magic stick
may 17: softball league @ 8:30pm
may 17: last tourist @ small's (10pm)
may 24: softball league @ 6:10pm
may 27: sea ray / stills @ st. andrews
june 6: dido @ fox theater
june 7: softball league @ 7:20pm
june 14: softball @ 6:10pm
june 19: jessica's graduation party
june 21: softball @ 8:30pm
june 28: softball @ 6:10pm
july 3 - july 11: vacation @ TBD
july 12: softball @ 7:20pm
july 19: softball @ 7:20pm
july 26: softball @ 9:40pm
august 2: softball @ 7:20pm
august 14: nuptial buzz w/c friggs + lescal!!!
october 23: nuptial buzz w/the grizz + mandypants!!!
twenty word reviews
van helsing
walking tall
scooby doo 2: monsters unleashed
dawn of the dead
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
starsky & hutch
girl next door
re-imagines "Risky Business" with Vivid Girls instead of prostitutes; marks Elisha Cuthbert's arrival as an alluring, big screen sex symbol.
Despite the best efforts of TrachtenBest, suffers greatly from a lack of forward momentum (scriptwise) and some remarkably bland casting
along came polly
aside from Philip Seymour Best Ever's performance ("RAIN DANCE!"), I vastly preferred this when it was called "Dharma And Greg."
search THIS!

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