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SMG - Episode 2

whatevs.org presents...

"SNL - SEASON 28 REVEALED"

by Nummer and H-Bomb

Episode 2: Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill (10/12/02)

CONEY RATING SYSTEM
= John Belushi
= Amy Poehler
= Tim Meadows
= Melanie Hutzel
= Charles Rocket
HALF A CONEY! = Self-Explanatory

smg

estreet
NUMMER H-BOMB
Pre-show Comments
This is actually the third time Gellar has hosted the show. Who can forget that phenomenal 1998 episode with Portishead as the musical guest? That episode also gave us the first appearance of Will Ferrell playing the Dad of a dysfunctional family dinner. Geller next hosted the 1999 season finale. That episode was decent and marked the first appearance of Brian Fellows. With this record, it's safe to say Gellar shows are usually good. (Note: I did not catch tonight's show live since I was attending The Rolling Stones/No Doubt at Ford Field. Best).

Bottom line: since Damon was better than expected, I have high hopes for this show.

Gellar! I think this episode has a lot of potential. I've gotten more than a few chuckles out of her past hosting performances and expect no less from this one.
Cold Opening: Bush/Cheney
Revealed! Parnell is playing Bush. A few lines into it, I realized he was impersonating Will Ferrell as Bush, instead of just Bush. I refuse to bitch too much yet since this same situation happened when Hammond took over Hartman's Clinton. I hated that at first, but sort of liked it after awhile. The shtick here is basically the US warning Saddam. "That kiddie pool in the backyard? No dice. We'll know you're hiding under there".
2 CONEYS!
Hmmm...yeah, I knew I would really start to miss Ferrell sooner or later. But I'm trying to give Parnell a chance as George W. There were some good lines, but Parnell's delivery seemed pretty forced to me. I'm not sure who would've done a better job though, besides Hammond, and I like him too much as Cheney. Not a whole lot of laughs on this one. Maybe a few more Bush sketches with Parnell and I'll feel differently.
1 CONEY!
Monologue: SMG
: I liked it. Loved the Kattan vampire. Plus, there was a cute blonde in the audience behind Kattan.

Not a very good monologue. About the funniest thing was Kattan's face immediately after Gellar talked about chopping vampire's heads off. But still no laughs. Poehler was cute though.
Commercial Parody: Swiffer Sweepers
Poehler! I love it already. Kids being used to clean floors. Not to sound mean, but highly effective child labor is usually funny. Where am I wrong counselor?
3 CONEYS!
This was pretty good. It's always amusing to see kids having such a fun time while being used as brooms. I especially liked when Poehler used the daughter to sweep the ceiling.
2 CONEYS!
Sketch: Safety Class w/ Be Safe Gang
You can tell by the placement of the sketch that hopes for recurring character potential with the Be Safe Gang is high. I liked the sketch. Plus, Armisen has already landed a starting sketch position! "I hope you get assaulted everyday for the rest of your life"! Armisen demonstrating how to avoid being mugged by having a cell phone was good too. Radio show producers all over the US also got lucky by gaining access to a new Gellar soundbite, "Do you want to touch my breasts". Best.
3 CONEYS!
: Armisen!! I like this guy! That overbite is best!! Who knew you could stop someone from shooting you by sticking a pen behind the trigger of the gun? And if you don't have a pen of your own, take one from your assailant! Gellar's "genital diabetes" and Poehler's whole performance also got some chuckles. This would be a great recurring sketch if used wisely.
3 CONEYS!
Sketch: Inappropriate Dentist
Kattan at his worst. Reminded me why I didn't mind his screen time being cut last season. Not one Jason laugh.

Man alive Kattan!! What the hell was that?!

Commercial Parody: Trans American Airlines
An airline uses racial profiling to screen passengers. Could have been better.
1 CONEY!
One laugh. "Some say that by airlines using racial profiling, the terrorists win. Why would terrorists want racial profiling? That's how you catch em."-Tracy Morgan.
1/2 CONEY!
Commercial Parody: Corona #1
Fallon. Dumb. No laughs.

Do you think Fallon watched the JB skit where he called a fence a douche?? There used to be a time when comedians were funny, witty, and original. But I guess that's of a bygone era.

Sketch: Saddam Look-a-likes
Started of as a good concept, then got worse by the line. When Fallon started his little unscripted laugh routine, the sketch officially died. Fallon. Such a recipe for sketch disaster. A friend of mine has a theory that Fallon does those little laughs on purpose. I agree. Sanz was good in this though, but it immediately stopped all the "Sanz lost weight" theories.
1 CONEY!
The best thing about this skit was the way Horatio looked stuffed into Saddam's uniform. But I'm totally sick of Fallon's laughing. Armisen would've been so much better.
1 CONEY!
Commercial Parody: Corona #2
Recurring commercials again? They should have learned after Damon. Gets 1 Coney only because Gellar walks around in a bikini at the end.
1 CONEY!
Sucked.

Musical Guest: Faith Hill #1
She isn't doing "This Kiss". Unbelievable. Still, 0 Coneys.

Coney for being so pretty.
1/2 CONEY!
Weekend Update
By this point, the episode is really sucking. I'm hoping the standby WU will save it. I was sorely let down. This was the worst WU since Quinn. Nothing was funny. Tina's over the top bit about Leonard Nimoy vs. The Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle was a very desperate attempt to recreate some of last season's "spontaneous" rants.

Why am I not laughing?? Why, why is that?? WHY?? Is this the same cast from last week??

Sketch: Christina Making the Video
Awful. Poehler should have played Christina.

Uggh. Not good. Did anyone notice how bored Poehler looked??

Sketch: Arliss Prescribed DVDs
By this time, I'm thinking Gellar's other two hosting victories were flukes. This sketch really demonstrated she isn't good with comedy. The sketch's premise and writing was brilliant, yet Gellar's horrible delivery killed it.

Boring.

Sketch: Morgan/Gellar/Hill/Lorne Conversation
These behind the scene run "bump intos" with Morgan used to be funny. Him mouthing off to Lorne was always a good formula. I guess it's just been overused. This wasn't funny. Gellar episode. Can't be saved at this point.

I had heard about this skit before the show and was really looking forward to it. Needless to say I was highly disappointed. I thought for sure that Morgan could pull off something funny in trying to get Gellar and Hill to wrestle. No dice. No laughs.

Music: Faith Hill #2
Two songs and still no "This Kiss". Who knew it was possible?

Same outfit??

Sketch: Maya and Morgan Foreplay
What the hell was this? It's Morgan's Astronaut Jones character-lite. He's playing too many of these roles where he's hung up on breasts or sex. And what's up with Maya? Is this supposed to be The Ladies Man/Woman? This sketch is worse than Kattan Dentist.

I don't get it. Breasts = Laughs?? More like This Sketch = Worst.

Commercial Parody: Corona #3
A third time? So unnecessary. Again, it does manage to get 1 Coney. Check out Armisen's face when he's walking up as the waiter.

Finally! No laughs from the audience. Thank you!!

Sketch: Blame Saddam
This sketch should have been used early on to replace a Corona bit. Blaming Saddam on everything was sort of funny. Still, only 1 Coney.

Was Forte supposed to be a robot in that skit? It's officially hopeless. This episode is horrible.

Sketch: Merv the Perv
This sketch was OK, but it really made you miss Ferrell. This Merv character is CLEARLY made for him. Parnell was decent with it, but nowhere near how great it could have been with Ferrell. I wonder who wrote this one.

This sketch had Will Ferrell written all over it. Parnell was alright though. I think the funniest part was Poehler's, Armisen's and Richards's facial expressions in the background behind Parnell.

Closing Comments
: This episode was awful. Plain and simple. There hasn't been an episode this bad since last season's Ellen DeGeneres bit. It actually did start off good too. At least they avoided a predictable Scooby Doo parody. I also read there was a Fallon Jarrett's Room sketch scheduled. If true, I'm pleased as punch it got cut. Next week has surprise McKellen sort of buzz plus the White Stripes. Who knows.

There is actually something more disturbing about this episode than the overall quality of it. A Sunday afternoon call by Adam Graham revealed that Poehler appears to have gotten her teeth fixed! What? Upon hanging up the phone, I re-visited the VHS and confirmed. Adam once said Poehler's teeth were the sexiest dental flaw ever. I always agreed.

R.I.P.: Poehler's Teeth 2001-2002.

At this point, Season 28 can't get any worse.

Well, I was sorely mistaken in thinking this episode was going to be somewhat funny. I guess you can allow for one really bad episode a season. I just hope to God that was it. Can John McCain bring back the laughs?? Some say it might be the next Ian.

Next week's SNL party. David Heggie's last. The rest of Season 28 can probably be viewed through his Manhattan living room window.

EPISODE RATING
An embarrassing 17 out of 72 possible Coneys.
10 Coneys out of a possible 72.



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