|what evs (dot org)
piping hot content for your sexy bod
by Nummer and H-Bomb
Episode 1: Matt Damon/Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band (10/5/02)
CONEY RATING SYSTEM
By this time, everyone who's anyone knows how highly I regarded Season 27. I thought the new additions of Poehler, Myers, Richards and the return of Parnell were strokes of genius. I was also VERY ready for Ana to leave, but wouldn't have minded a year more of Ferrell. Season 27 mirrored the beginning of SNL's last stretch of glory years (early nineties). Whenever you have a good mix of veterans and strong featured players, good things usually happen. When this formula isn't there, SNL usually bombs (see the complete cast rebuild of the early 80's and mid nineties).|
Needless to say, I was very anxious for Season 28. The day before the Damon episode, a google search revealed who the two new featured players were: Armisen and Forte. Armisen looked like he had buzz right away, but who knew about Forte. I predict him being about as effective as Breuer.
My only real worry about Season 28 lies in a quote I read from Lorne Michaels. He commented that now that Will and Ana are gone, he is probably going to focus a lot more on Jimmy. Now I know I'm not the only one, but I HATE Fallon. His whole shtick is recycled Myers and Sandler. Worst of all, nobody seems to pick up on it! I'm yet to read a genuine SNL review in the media calling this out. To me, it's too obvious. Hopefully all his undeserved buzz will get to his head and he'll head for Hollywood soon. Fallon. Makes Jay Mohr look like Sarah Silverman.
|I can honestly say that the Season 28 opener was probably the most highly anticipated in all of my years watching SNL. With Season 27 being one of the best that I've seen since the early 90's, I was anxious to see if SNL could maintain it's comic momentum in Season 28. Being a HUGE Will Ferrell fan, I feared a noticeable lull when I heard early on Season 27 would be his last. However, Ian / Kylie was Ferrell-less, and reigned best episode by far.|
As for the rest of the cast, I think hiring Amy Poehler was the smartest move SNL ever made. So much more buzz than Dratch. Parnell's return is going to be very good for Season 28. I've thought this guy was funny since day one and have yet to understand Lorne's decision to fire him. Maybe it's because he's so in love with Jimmy Fallon.
The rest of my feelings on the current cast:
Gasteyer + gone = I wouldn't have known you were in season 27 if not for Gemini's Twin.
Morgan - Brian Fellows = Chuckles
Kattan + Weekend Update's Hollywood / Gay Speed Skating Hitler = Only good things he did last season.
Armisen = Good buzz
Hammond = Belly laughs
Horatio + More Bull Jive = Best
Fallon = SUCKS.
On the whole, I have faith that Season 28 will pull through and give us some good laughs and lasting quotes. And if not, at least the parties will be hilarious. Obvs.
|Cold Opening: Cheney/Brokaw|
|I've always enjoyed Hammond's Cheney impressions, but at this point I just wanted to see who was taking over the vacated George W impressions. There were summer rumors of Tina Fey or Tracey Morgan! I was hoping to god it would be Morgan. Would time tell? It was pretty clear halfway thorough the sketch that George W would not be shown (signaling Lorne had yet to fill the job). While I was a little disappointed, Cheney eating Lunchables mini-pizzas while riding a missle into Iraq Strangelove style was funny enough for me not to care. "There's no meal on this flight be-be!" Good opening.||I had heard about 10 minutes before the show that the opening skit would be on the situation with Iraq. After much speculation and debate, I couldn't wait to see who would be taking over the George W. duties. I was also disappointed when it turned out to be a Cheney only sketch, but Hammond and Parnell made it so worthwhile!! And it's the little things that made it funny, like the "in-flight meal" and the note scribbled on the missile - "Hey there, Saddam." Nice opening skit.|
|Monologue: Matt Damon|
|This was the best monologue since last season's Jack Black installment. The Britney/Justin dance-off showed exactly why the current writing team snagged an Emmy. I make no secrets about my infatuation with Amy Poehler OR Britney Spears. To see Amy portray Britney complete with an exposed mid-riff already had me exclaiming Season 28 as a godsend. During the required Sunday morning VHS replay, this sketch got the most rewinds. Obvs.||AWESOME!! Laughed my ass off. I have to admit, I wasn't sure how funny Damon was going to be, but he was hilarious in this monologue. I think because he was so into it!! And Poehler!! So good!! And just when you think it can't get any better, the angry dance-off becomes a moan-off!!! Genius.|
|Commercial Parody NRA/Aflac|
|Ugh. Jimmy Fallon. SNL's biggest eye sore. Not even Horatio could save this piece of shit. Coming off the Britney/Justin deal, I expected more than the tired concept of taking out frustration of current advertising icons. Didn't they blow up the Energizer bunny a decade ago in the same fashion? NRA. Not funny. Aflac duck. Not funny. We spent most of the time this was on debating if Horatio had lost weight.||I usually LOVE the commercials after the monologue, but this sucked. I'm sick of the damn Aflac duck. And Fallon with a gun?? The only time I even cracked a smile was at Horatio's facial expression as it faded out.|
|Sketch: Brian Fellows Safari Planet|
|When Tracey Morgan debuted this character back in '99, I thought it was the funniest thing ever. Last season, Kevin Smith even gave props to the sketch (check out the commentary track on the Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back DVD - Smith gets so off topic he starts talking about Brian Fellows!). After the rave reviews, Lorne/Morgan brought Fellows back nearly 5,000 times before the season finale. Each one usually worse than the last (although the Britney Spears installment may be my favorite). But seriously, how many animals need a haircut or can't do what Brian thinks they do? Fellows. It needs to go. Not to worry though, last season's first sketch was Wakeup Wakefield. A sketch now seldom seen. Is the first sketch of the year a subtle way of letting it die?||This is a classic example of exploiting a great idea. I loved Brian Fellows last season. I thought it was hilarious. But it's been played way too much and I see no chance of saving it, even if it's not brought back until the end of the season.|
|Commercial Parody: NRA/Call ATT|
|Shit. This is already back? Recurring themes in one episode RARELY work. I think the last time it did was the great Mack North appearances of 1998. The only thing saving this bomb was the way Seth looked dressed as Carrot Top. Still overall, about as funny as dead birds.||Stop it.|
|Sketch: Boston Teens|
|I've hated this sketch since the first time I saw it. Fallon sucks. No further comments necessary.||I used to really like this sketch. But now it is suffering the same dilemma as Brian Fellows. Too much!! And if you're going to continue to bring this back, what's up with making Horatio's Sully scarcer and scarcer?! He's the funniest part!! I did chuckle when Damon wanted Cox all over him.|
|Commercial Parody: Nutri Quick|
|Finally! After two drab sketches, Jeff Richards eating fast food and taking anal suppositories comes to the rescue! This commercial reminded me of the glory commercial parody years. Best! Did I mention my love for Jeff Richards? "Let's just say I put my lunch up my butt".||This is what I'm talking about. Where was this sketch after the monologue?? This is up there with Schmidt's Gay and Loose Bear. I'm liking Richards more and more. And Parnell is always great as the announcer. My first good laugh since angry dance-off.|
|Sketch: Hannibal Goes to College|
|Hilarious! Who knew Hannibal went to Michigan State? Movie parodies are usually pretty solid. Hannibal pretending to be Johnny Fever with his Magic Troll and Garfield mug off in the distance was comic gold. Hannibal Goes to MSU. Season 28! Picking up steam.||Who knew Damon could be such a convincing Hannibal...in college??!! And Michigan buzz is always best. This sketch was great! "Hanni, honey, if those boys tease you about wearing your bathing suit in the shower, you just tease them right back." - Hannibal's Mom. More laughs!!|
|Song: Bruce/E Street|
|I know Mark will kill me, but I'm not a huge Bruce fan. I have Born in the USA and that's it. I used this time to get more cheesy potatoes from the kitchen. Others used the time to smoke. I just remember a comical amount of people on the small SNL music stage.||Yeah, sorry Mark, but this is where I took a break on the porch. But I'll give the performance the benefit of the doubt.|
|Season 28 started to take another turn for the worst here. I'M JUST KIDDING! Fred Armisen making his debut as the Latin American comic Ferecito was AMAZING. Half way through his routine, I knew he would be the breakout this season. Watch for a promotion to starring player by Christmas - Poehler style. Fallon actually had one good contribution too, the bit about him being married to a Black Bear garnered a chuckle. I never knew Tina was a "specist".||I agree with you Jason. Armisen was hilarious and I do see a mid-season promotion in the works. I hope to see that character return! The drums were best! Fallon's black bear wedding picture was good, as was the fact that he had normal hair. I'm glad to know that I can still look forward to Weekend Update being funny. Fey!!|
|Sketch: The Other Matt Damon|
|This episode is really becoming a roller coaster. Good sketch, bad sketch, good sketch, bad sketch. The concept of regular people with the same names as celebrities seems to be revisted every few years. It's never really funny.||I lost interest very early on in this sketch. I even watched again just a few days ago and I can't remember anything funny about it.|
|Sketch: Versache Pockets|
|Loved it. Who knew celebs have longed for frozen food that is more expensive? Horatio playing Rosie O' Donnell was best. Damon playing Axl Rose was better! "You know where you are? You're in the microwave baby. You're gonna' get eaten".||Seriously, food with bling is always funny. And an $85,000 disposable diamond tote is even better!! I liked the concept of Versace being a shorter sketch like this. I was becoming kind of bored of the full-out Versace Show sketches, only because Rudolph can get annoying. But this was a good mix. Hilarious and definitely got my attention back.|
|Sketch: A Cartoon By Robert Smigel: Smurfette Show|
|Damon episode breaks it's own mold and again delivers two great sketches back to back! I've never seen an episode of the Anna Nicole show, but from what I have seen in promos, this parody was dead on. Plus, whenever SNL pokes fun at the Smurfs, it always works. Remember the trailer for the live action Smurfs movie they made a few seasons back?||This was Smigel at his finest! With all of the hype around Anna Nicole, I thought anything more would be super aggravating. But the Smurfette Show was comic brilliance!! I have seen the Anna Nicole show and it was dead on, but this was so much better!! I absolutely loved it!|
|Music: Bruce (solo)|
|Again, I spent this time in the kitchen. Although instead of getting cheesy potatoes, I think I used the time to convince Andy Moore to trade me a Bass for a Molson Canadian.||Springsteen played again?! SORRY!!! But to even out my previous rating...|
|Sketch: Sex Robot|
|Loved it! This sketch introduced a new military character to Hammond's resume - General Mills! The premise involves the government giving Damon $19 million to create a sex robot to be used in the war on terror. Since he's been using most of his time catching up with US Weekly, Damon has only come up with a garbage can with Kattan in it. This sketch is up there with the dance off.||Great skit!! Jason's review totally sums it up. General Mills!! And Poehler was extra hot as Damon's girlfriend posing as the sex robot pre bucket. But Kattan in a garbage can. How many more signs do you need, Kattan??|
|Sketch: Dr. Phil|
|Jeff Richards. He should have been promoted over the summer. This sketch was amazing. Jeff Richards. Jeff Richards. Jeff Richards. Jeff Richards. Jeff Richards.||Richards is dead on in this sketch. Right down to the facial expressions, which made me laugh the hardest. Definitely worthy of full cast rights.|
|Commercial Parody: War on Iraq Sitcom|
|Funny premise about fake sitcom. "It's the story of mustaches. Lots and lots of Tom Selleck mustaches". Good quiet way to end the show.||Mustaches! Nice ending.|
|Although there were a few bad sketches, overall it was a great season opener. Much better than last year's Reese Witherspoon episode. Season 28 seems to be off to a great start. Next week is Gellar. Should be a recipe for success.||On the whole, I think the Damon episode made for a good Season 28 premiere. I have confidence that this season is going to produce some great shows. Hopefully Gellar will prove that.|
|36 Coneys out of a possible 68.||36 Coneys out of a possible 68.|