Cherry Ice Cream Smile

Trend Alert! While it would be so easy for your Uncle Grambo to pour a few gallons of Haterade on the sheep of The Blogosphere™ for endlessly baaaaaa-ing at the alter of YouTube, the fact of the matter is that YouTube is easily the greatest invention since the Nintendo DS. Even when a site like Stylus ganks an YouTube-centric feature on the Top 100 Music Videos of All-Time that Pitchfork ran with just over a month ago, I say it's all good. But even though both lists are impressive in both their comprehensiveness and rationale, I have a MAJOR beef that neither include Duran Duran's "Rio" in their countdown.

While no one will argue that Russell Mulcahy's vision for "Hungry Like The Wolf" launched Duran Duran into worldwide public conciousness, it was his treatment of "Rio" that established the high water level for countless numbers of incredibly influential music videos (not to mention prominent television shows and movies) that followed. Think about it. The yacht scenes ALONE set the standard that dozens (if not hundreds) of hip-hop videos would follow (think "Hypnotize", think "Rock The Boat", think "Jenny From The Block"). The cut scenes that show each member of the band interacting with a mischevious, silent protagonist scheming to destroy the band's chemistry by isolating its members? From The Cars' legendary "You Might Think" back in 1984 to Anton Corbijn's video for The Killers' "All These Things That I've Done" in 2005, these executions followed the formula first set by Duran Duran. And remember the legendary sax solo by Andy Hamilton? Totally ripped by Joel Schumacher in "The Lost Boys" (in what has become the most legendary animated gif of all-time -- thanks Thighs).

So what gives? The only thing your Uncle Grambo can think of is that "Hungry" came first. Western culture is admittedly obsessed with the immediacy, which creates false prevalence for the idea that "first out of the gate equals best" (hell, VH1 re-ran "One Hit Wonders" for the one bazillionth time just this weekend). Howevs, those who make lists like this (no matter how frivolous) have not only the freedom but the OBLIGATION to pay proper respect to artistic merit over chronological order. When viewing the history of music video through these lenses, there's no doubt whatsoevs that "Rio" got screwed, Paris Hilton-on-nightvision stizz.

Thirsting for more PHC? Guzzle on this, yo:

• Ani DiFranco preggers, courtesy of some deep dickin' from her producer Mike Napolitano. Somewhere, the Indigo Girls are crying.

• November 17th, 2006. Mark your calendars, FOWs. From the roaring buzz coming out of Comic Con, "Tenacious D & The Pick Of Destiny" looks to be a lock for Top 10 Films Of This Decade.

• Looking for a front-runner for 2006's feelgood story of The Blogosphere™? Look no further than Will Leitch's return to The Bagelfest. All sardonic posturing aside, it's good to see one of the best bloggas out there get mad hometown propers. [via Lindsayism]

• For those of us that have been trolling The Internerd™ for movie scoopage since the mid `90s, there ARE no bigger names than Jeffrey Wells and David Poland. If you're still with me, you know that you're either a Wells guy or a Poland guy — these camps fulfill the very notion that Kipling espoused when he compared the culture of East to the culture of the West and proclaimed that "never the twain shall meet." Since I've always been a Wells guy, this probably accounts for the fact that a wave of nostalgia (virtually bordering on xenophobia) washed over me when I read this not-so-subtle dig at Poland that Wells authored. So best!

• While early signs point to Sunday's airing of the "Miss Universe" pageant as a modest success, your Uncle Grambo can't help but think the show underperformed. Ferreals, the international snatch on display last night was EASILY the hottest I've seen since the Spice Channel mysteriously unscrambled itself for approximately 38 seconds back in 1988. I guess it's not all that surprising considering Donald Trump's involvement, but everyone from Miss Russia (left) to Miss USA (right) to Miss Bolivian Marching Powder blew away any and all preconceptions that this viewer had about pageant chicks. And Miss Puerto Rico (center)? She's Angelina Jolie's equal in every possible category, only ten years younger and and inevitably a heckuva a lotta tighter down there (if you smell what The Rock is cookin'). I can't help but think that if this reDONKulously ridiculous talent quotient of ethnically diverse Beav was matched with an equally skilled marketing and promotion strategy, this show would've EASILY doubled its ratings on a slow summer night like Sunday. Marsbars.