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by Nummer and H-Bomb

Episode 7: Dane Cook / James Blunt (12/3/05)

FOUR CONEYS! = John Belushi
THREE CONEYS! = Amy Poehler
TWO CONEYS! = Tim Meadows
ONE CONEY! = Melanie Hutzel
HALF A CONEY! = Charles Rocket
No CONEYS! = Self-Explanatory

Dane Cook
James Blunt

0-10 Coneys – Garbage
11-20 Coneys – Needs Improvement
21-30 Coneys – Average
31-40 Coneys – Above Average
41-50 Coneys - Instant Classic
51+ Coneys - Unparalleled Comic Genius

OAD = Original Air Date*

(*To be fair, coneys will be awarded the same as they were the first time they aired)


Dane Cook was a near perfect SNL host. He was genuinely thrilled to be there, the NINE MINUTE monologue was great (despite drawing mainly from his stand up routine’s greatest hits) and he obviously knows how to perform sketch comedy. What more can you ask out of a host? I can see why, according to him, he’s been approached to audition for the show twice in the past decade. I wouldn’t mind seeing Cook as a return host over the next few years.

Helping Cook along was another episode relying on fresh material rather than forced recurring sketches. Target Cashiers, Coma Patient, Wool Turtleneck Sweater and especially Fred Armisen’s one-man gossip report on West Bedford HS Announcements actually had you looking forward to what was coming after commercial breaks, instead of dreading the prospect of another Scheinwald Studios.

It was also nice to see a decent Weekend Update as well. Other than the Zeta-Jones/Franz Ferdinand installment, Update has been pretty worthless this season. Dratch’s fat suit routine avoided too many predictable fat jokes and a majority of Fey and Poehler’s jokes that weren’t of the run of the mill anti-Bush variety didn’t fall flat.

I think the best thing about this week’s episode of SNL was Dane Cook’s infectious enthusiasm at being the host. At times he may have been a little overly enthusiastic, like in his crazy long monologue, but at least he was consistently funny. Cook seemed to have no problem fitting in on the set and could’ve easily been mistaken as a new cast member if people tuning in didn’t know who he was. It’s no wonder he’s been considered more than once to be a more permanent part of the show.

It was also nice to see even more original skits this weekend that not only showcased the always reliable featured players, but made way for some old favorites of mine as well. Armisen’s one man gossip routine in the Morning Announcements sketch was hysterical! “Did you hear about Kelly and Matt?! NO!!” Forte, along with newcomer Samberg, also had me laughing with the Lettuce digital short. The amount of lettuce that fell out of Samberg’s mouth was highly entertaining. However, it was Wiig’s interpretation of a Target cashier that probably left the most lasting impression. Despite not being exactly thrilled with her Megan Mullaly imitation for the second week in a row (don’t push it, you guys!), Wiig’s cashier character has had me thinking about “hewliday caandewls (a.k.a. holiday candles) for the last few days.


James Blunt! If this show would have had a solid musical guest, it would have easily fallen into the “Instant Classic” range. Seriously, James Blunt? How about those high school year book lyrics? “I know your smell”, “my heart was blinded by you” and “I’m addicted to you” were just some of the clichés being passed off as songwriting. Worst musical guest since Kelis back on 2/14/04. Someone should also have told him he doesn’t need to stare directly into the camera every chance he gets.

Other than Blunt, what was up with the uninspired holiday song Cold Opening? I’m pretty sure SNL has already covered how silly not identifying holidays by name can be, but did they really need to use it as en excuse to throw every celebrity impression into one sketch? It was also pretty bad seeing Wiig do her Megan Mullaly impression in back to back episodes. After just three episodes, Wiig is already proving to be a great featured player. I’d hate to see her succumb to the recurring character death pool so fast.

I think we can all agree that the very WORST part of this episode was James Blunt. Stop staring at me, Blunt!! Seriously, what the hell was up with that creep! Not to mention that his second performance was WAY too dramatic for such a crap-filled song. Blunt proved once again that a horrible musical guest can really drag down an otherwise fantastic show.

For the seventh episode in a row, the cold opener received it’s usual ½ - 1 Coney. I don’t know why but I was under the impression that you would want your opening skit to be pretty strong since it’s the first thing everyone sees. However, nothing could be farther from the truth with these cold openers. Chock-full of tired impersonations and even weaker material, these openers are in dire need of some sprucing up if they stand a chance at keeping the casual viewer watching past the first roll of the cast credits.

One other thing that I’ve been really starting to get annoyed with is the repeats of the commercial spoofs. Now, I love the Morgan Stanely skit, but it has been played in five of the seven episodes this season and shows no signs of letting up. I know it’s extremely funny, but you can’t expect the same bit to hold up week after week and still be as humorous. I can see playing it a couple of times, like they’ve done with Taco Town and Rad 3000 Smoke Alarm, but it’s pretty clear that Morgan Stanley is just downright being exploited because it has gotten laughs in the past. Well, sorry guys, but you’ve tried that in the past and surprisingly, people get tired of the same thing every week.


Another episode with barely any recurring sketches continues to, dare I say it, slowly improve SNL. With hosts like Alec Baldwin and Jack Black on deck, SNL should be able to close out 2005 better than they started it (Paul Giamatti episode aside).

I was a little shocked that Cook’s episode didn’t top Jason Lee’s from a few weeks back (Thanks a lot, Blunt!). If not for a dreadful musical act, this show would’ve easily been the best of the season thus far. And with more creative sketch material and SNL veterans Alec Baldwin and Jack Black lined up to host, the next two weeks are bound to be even better.



1. Cold Opening: Rockefeller Center’s Tree Re-Lighting

Premise: The Traditional Christmas tree is re-lit


2. Monologue: Cook


3. Sketch: West Bedford High School Announcements
Premise: The drama club “performs” the morning announcements


4. Commercial Parody: Taco Town
Premise: Ad for an insanely large taco
OAD: 10/8/05


5. Sketch: The Long Ride Home – The Jim Feely Story
Premise: The NY Giants field goal kicker must land a plane


6. Sketch: The Wool Turtleneck Sweater
Premise: A man wears an uncomfortable sweater to impress his girlfriend


7. An SNL Digital Short: Lettuce
Premise: Ad spoof for lettuce


8. Sketch: Target Cashiers
Premise: Two Target cashiers converse with customers


9. Music: James Blunt “You’re Beautiful”


10. Weekend Update
Guests: Dratch and Thompson


11. Sketch: Coma Patient
Premise: A man adjusts to a changed world after awaking from a coma


12. Sketch: Fight Back with Victor Romos
Premise: A self defense talk show


13. Music: James Blunt “Goodbye my Lover”


14. Commercial Parody: Morgan Stanley
Premise: A Morgan Stanley agent takes on a fatherly role
OAD: 10/1/05



33 / 56 Coneys

30 / 56 Coneys

Take me back to the homepage, please

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