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whatevs.org presents... by Nummer and H-Bomb Episode 4: Lance Armstrong / Sheryl Crow (10/29/05) | ||
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CONEY RATING SYSTEM |
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0-10 Coneys – Garbage OAD = Original Air Date* (*To be fair, coneys will be awarded the same as they were the first time they aired) |
| NUMMER | H-BOMB |
| THE GOOD! | |
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Dusting off a character we haven’t seen since the December 2004 Colin Farrell disaster, Horatio’s “Carol” delivered the strongest sketch of the night. The overweight and totally obnoxious Carol, who doesn’t know why her nipples are so slippery, is a character that plays to Horatio’s strength of just being loud. Best.
Tying the Carol sketch with 3 coneys was Parnell’s smoke detector commercial based on 80s music. My only question was, how come Talking Heads’ “Burning Down the House” from 1983 wasn’t used as an example? While watching it, I figured the how thing was building up to a punchline based on that song. No dice.
The other strong moments came courtesy of Hammond’s “O’Reilly Factor” spoof and the Sanz/Forte “Mr. Franco” sketch. Although Bill O’Reilly was Fey’s personal punching bag for 99% of last season’s Weekend Updates, a straight up parody of his talk show hasn’t been seen since Jeff Richards did one back on the Jonny Moseley/Outkast episode from March 2002. Hammond’s take on O’Reilly was good tonight, but it did feel like he was copying Richards’ mold a few times.
Sanz then continued his love of mob/hitman sketches with the help of Will Forte in “Mr. Franco”. It was basically a mob guy doing jokes about the guy he’s about to knock off. The only problem is, his partner (Forte) thinks the jokes are hysterical and can’t stop laughing. Since Forte has a gift for high pitched voices and sounds, his laughs after each joke were really funny. The only thing keeping it from being truly great was how repetitive it became.
There was also a moderately funny sketch about Lance writing a song with his gardeners to impress Sheryl Crow. Much like Mr. Franco, it started off really strong, but started repeating itself by the close. At least it got Hader some more airtime though. |
Sadly, but not surprisingly, there wasn’t a whole lot that I thought was good in this episode. Mostly falling into the average coney range, I only found three out of the eleven skits somewhat humorous: Armstrong’s monologue, Lance’s Song and the Rad 3000 Smoke Detector.
First off, I was a bit shocked to find myself liking Armstrong’s monologue as much as I did. Too bad it was actually Armstrong himself that was the least memorable part of the sketch. I got more chuckles from Armisen’s Frenchman asking for an Armstrong urine sample and featured players Sudeikis, Hader and Samberg, along with Forte, as the “other members” of the U.S. cycling team. Samberg’s facial expressions and Sudeikis’ sarcasm when verifying that Armstrong was hosting by himself when, in fact, there are many more members on the team (“So, alone then?”) were especially amusing.
Along the same lines, Lance’s Song was funny, but mostly because of Armisen and Hader than anything else. As a matter of fact, with Armstong’s flubbing and Crow’s bitching, they were just plain annoying and didn’t really add to the skit whatsoever. Hader and Armisen’s “gardeners turned musicians” characters, however, provided enough comic relief to get through the bit relatively unscathed.
The best sketch of the night was by far the Rad 3000 Smoke Detector, where we not only saw the return of Parnell, but were treated to some great 80’s tunes that actually served to alert you to a fire. Even though it was a pretty short bit, considering it was really just a commercial spoof, everyone was quite funny, even Keenan and Finesse in their promotion of the “Yo Fire Alarm Raps” smoke detector.
As for Sheryl Crow, I wasn’t a huge fan of her sketch work, but her first performance of “Good is Good,” was excellent. She sounded great, the band sounded fantastic and overall it was a really good song. It’s just a shame she couldn’t keep up the momentum during her second set because, coney-wise, it really could’ve added to the show. |
| NUMMER | H-BOMB |
| THE BAD! | |
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Armstrong was the typical athlete host. Tons of flubbed lines, obvious reliance on cue cards and why the hell did Crow have to show up in three segments with him? Just call it a co-hosted show at that point. Speaking of Crow, she made Franz Ferdinand’s decision to play their older hit “Take me Out” last week seem extremely timely after she turned the clock back to 1993’s “Strong Enough” for her second song. Considering this was her third time as musical guest, you’d think she has a deep enough catalog to draw from before resorting to 12-year-old hits.
The show also turned ugly when Hammond brought out the oh so tired Donald Trump impression (last seen Knoxville/System of a Down – 5/7/05). Hey Hammond, let me tell you how its gonna be, you’re gonna stand on your mark, say the same lines you do ever time and it’ll suuuuckkk. |
In keeping with the latest trend of more original and random skits, this week’s show was no exception. Question, though. Why did the material have to be, more than not, random and original crap? Celebrity Ironman, Indigo Girls Harmonies and Mr. Franco all basically fell flat on their faces. I suppose, initially, the potential for a decent sketch was there, but that was quickly diminished by the overexploitation of the skit’s punch lines. The recurring bits that aired were just as bad, if not worse. Hammond’s O’Reilly seemed to transform into his tired Chris Matthews / Hardball routine as the sketch wore one and his ability to read a line correctly seemed pathetic at best. And his Trump parody…ugh. There has been absolutely nothing new or funny on that scene since the Onion Loaf back in Season 29. Seriously, you guys, stop it.
I was a bit baffled by the return of Sanz’s loud and obnoxious Carol, but ultimately decided that I was much more irritated by it than amused. I did get a laugh out of Sanz’s request to “biggie size” his glass of scotch, but overall, the sketch appeared rather disjointed and I was left wondering whether Sanz was indeed a little tipsy.
On the hosting end of things, I was not at all impressed with Armstrong, nor did I expect to be. He was pretty much just another mediocre host that tried extra hard to seem naturally funny but failed miserably. At least we didn’t have to watch too many bike skits.
Finally, as I mentioned in my “good” comments, Crow’s first song was great, but her choice to play “Strong Enough” was highly disappointing to say the least. To come out and play a song that’s 12 years old, especially on the heels Franz’s cop-out last week with “Take Me Out”, is inarguably just plain old lame-o. |
| NUMMER | H-BOMB |
| THE BOTTOM LINE! | |
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: Normal 2005 episode of SNL. No classic moments, just a few decent sketches followed by a whole lotta crappa. It should be noted that Parnell made his return in the Celebrity Ironman sketch. He had been strangely absent, even from the credits, since the Steve Carrell season premiere. |
I had no expectations for this show and wasn’t disappointed by the resulting sketch material or Armstrong’s hosting skills. Crow’s inexplicable song choice for her second set was about the only real let down, but at least she seemed to break even overall with her first performance. |
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CONEY COUNT |
| SKETCH | NUMMER | H-BOMB |
1. Cold Opening: Vice President Address |  |
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2. Monologue: Armstrong |  |
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3. Sketch: Celebrity Ironman | |
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4. Commercial Parody: Rad 3000 Smoke Detector |  |
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5. Sketch: Indigo Girls Harmonies | |
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6. Sketch: The O’Reilly Factor | |
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7. Music: Sheryl Crow “Good is Good” | |
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8. Weekend Update | |
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9. Sketch: Lance’s Song | |
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10. Sketch: Trump on Days of Our Lives |  |
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11. Sketch: Carol Premise: The obnoxious Carol (see Colin Farrell/Scissor Sisters - 12/11/04) is set up on a blind date | |
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12. Music: Sheryl Crow “Strong Enough” | |
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13. Sketch: Mr. Franco | |
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TOTALS | 23 / 52 Coneys |
16 / 52 Coneys |
= John Belushi
= Amy Poehler
= Tim Meadows
= Melanie Hutzel