whatevs.org presents...

"SNL - SEASON 31 REVEALED"

by Nummer and H-Bomb

Episode 2: Jon Heder / Ashlee Simpson (10/8/05)

CONEY RATING SYSTEM
= John Belushi
= Amy Poehler
= Tim Meadows
= Melanie Hutzel
= Charles Rocket
= Self-Explanatory

0-10 Coneys – Garbage
11-20 Coneys – Needs Improvement
21-30 Coneys – Average
31-40 Coneys – Above Average
41-50 Coneys - Instant Classic
51+ Coneys - Unparalleled Comic Genius

OAD = Original Air Date*

(*To be fair, coneys will be awarded the same as they were the first time they aired)

The best thing about tonight’s episode was the featured players. Led by Jason Sudeikis, the new guys proved the show can be turned over to them as soon as the seasoned veterans move on. In fact, if I hadn’t known any better, I would have guessed Sudeikis was the host after seeing him show up so many times throughout the episode. Hader and Samberg also continued to gain face time in smaller background roles, but proved to be funny when the occasional line showed up.

Sketch wise, with Maya not sucking up airtime with the likes of Glenda Goodwin, the cast was able to roll out fresh material like Werewolf Boyfriend, Phone Voice Lady, Wilson Brothers Funeral Home and the totally best Black Eyed Peas-For-Hire. It was also nice to see the first appearances this season for Armisen’s Ferecito, Poehler’s Caitlin and Forte’s Tim Calhoun. Not all were at their best, but these are the recurring sketches I don’t mind seeing. Sanz at the Update desk continues to be a welcome change as well. I wouldn’t say he is a great anchor like Chase, Miller, MacDonald or Nealon, but the temporary change of pace from the Fey era is refreshing.

I’m also throwing host Jon Heder into the good category. Although he flubbed some lines (“luckily I have these, these, these……..things”) and didn’t get anything terribly challenging to play, he looked really in to the whole thing. He also struck me as a really modest guy who didn’t seem over egotistical about his instant Napolean fame. Maybe that is what made him so likable throughout the whole night.

Once again, featured players Hader, Samberg and Sudeikis stole the show this week. Sudeikis, who appeared in 7 out of the 12 skits, was especially noteworthy with characters ranging from an obnoxious computer salesman to Bill Frist to Napoleon Dynamite. And speaking of Napoleon Dynamite, I rather enjoyed Jon Heder’s hosting debut. He wasn’t perfect by any means, but he gave it an obvious 100% and really seemed to have fun with it at the same time. And any host who doesn’t even bother to thank stupid Ashlee Simpson during the closing credits is tops in my book.

What really appeared to stand out for me this week was the amount of new sketch material that was aired. Were they all laugh-out-loud hilarious and sheer comedic brilliance? No. Was is nice NOT to see the same tired sketches that are all centered on Rudolph (who now appears to be on maternity leave), Dratch, Hammond and Parnell? Absolutely. It’s definitely a trend that I’d like to continue.

Best moments of the night: Forte as both Kip in Heder’s monologue (“Leave me alone. I’m texting a girl.”) and Tim Calhoun in Weekend Update (He ate 30 cocaine brownies and thinks gavels should be called “law hammers”!); Sudeikis, Hader and Samberg in Taco Town (“TACO TOWN!!”); Sudeikis as the computer salesman in Hubbard Systems Retreat (“ Here’s the thing. I can’t sell your nerd junk when my head looks like a butt crack.”); and, of course, the Black Eyed Peas For Hire, where I was pleasantly surprised to hear Poehler do her own singing (“Nyo, nyo, nyo, nyo…don’t funk with Phizer!”) Lovely.

Two words: Ashlee Simpson. I refuse to feel bad about what happened to her last October. Seeing her band celebrate after each performance tonight like they just solved world hunger was pathetic. Big deal! You played a song by yourselves. Bands have been doing it for hundreds of years. I understand the ratings stunt behind the booking of Ashlee, but I don’t have to like it. Simpson and her crew alone are responsible for keeping this episode from being above average.

Hmmm…let’s see. Besides Hammond’s lame ass Clinton impression, who else could’ve brought down the episode an entire coney category? Oh, yeah…big surprise…Ashlee Fucking Simpson. First of all, she looked like total crap. Secondly, like we care that you “wrote this song after my last SNL experience”. Whatevs. Not to mention that the entire song was basically her trying to figure who was going to clean up her messes. Hey Ash…it’s a little something called “taking responsibility for yourself.” You might want to check into it. Plus, what was up with her acting like she just saved the world by getting through a couple of lousy songs on live television? Last I checked that was your job. I mean, I know that every time I finish up a presentation at work, I totally run around and hug all of my coworkers. What?!? And apparently, Simpson does pull out the old hoe-down routine when something doesn’t go her way because that’s exactly what she did when Heder didn’t even acknowledge her during the end credits, which was actually pretty funny. Get a clue, girl. The world doesn’t care about you or your hoe-dance anymore.

Simpson aside, this episode was an improvement over the season opener. With a few more fresh looks from the new guys, this season may not be a total loss. Looking forward to Zeta Jones and Franz in a few weeks.

Decent show despite Fuglee Simpson’s appearances. Lorne proved he can still make a few good decisions with the new guys. Let’s just hope we get to see more of them.

CONEY COUNT

1. Cold Opening: Bush and Cheney discuss Harriet Miers
Premise: Cheney wonders if Miers is the best possible Supreme Court nominee

2. Monologue: Heder

3. Commercial: Taco Town
Premise: Ad for an insanely large taco

4. Sketch: Caitlin/Rick at the Science Fair
Premise: Caitlin talks her way through the school science fair

5. Sketch: Werewolf Boyfriend
Premise: A werewolf struggles with the dating scene

6. Sketch: The Misadventures of Tom DeLay and Brill Frist
Premise: Frist and Delay flee Washington picking up Clinton on the way

7. Sketch: !Showbiz Grande Explosion!
Premise: Recurring sketch in which Ferecito hosts a talk show

8. Music: Ashlee Simpson “Catch me When I Fall”

9. Weekend Update
Guests: Sanz (filling in for Fey) and Forte

10. Sketch: Wilson Brothers Funeral Home
Premise: A Group of friends experiences constant and mysterious deaths

11. Sketch: Hubbard Systems Retreat
Premise: Pranks ensue at a business retreat

12. Music: Ashlee Simpson “Boyfriend”

13. Sketch: Blind Date With the Phone Woman
Premise: A man dates a woman who records phone messages

14. Commerical Parody: Black Eyed Peas Premise: Hire The Black Eyed Peas for your next event

TOTALS

26 / 56 Coneys

26 / 56 Coneys