HOTT OFF THE PRESSES, YO!

dateline chicago. tuesday, december 30th. The Grizz proposes to Mandypants* ... and she says "obvs"! best engagement evs, congratulations to the happy couple and all that jazzercise!

NOOOOOOOO!

i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, ifyouknowwhatimsayin. fuckin G Dubz and his cronies at the FDA have announced that they are banning the sale of ephedra early next year! get the eff outta tizz, how is your Uncle Grambo supposed to maintain his svelte figure without his daily dose of Mini-Thins? to quote Peabs, "I eat Mini-Thins / I snort Ritalin / I take Metabolife / Because it is my life" ... for reals. since when did a few overdoses here and there restult in a full-fledged ban on a product that provides joy and a cheap quick buzz to so many hardworking WT folks like myself? no buzz ... literally! looks like i picked the wrong weeks to stop doing so much blow, it's back on the Bolivian Marching Powder for me. shmears.

in news that made Damore do backflips all the way down Jefferson, Fox recently announced that Jason Priestly will be joining the cast of "Tru Calling" early next year. sources revealed that Brandon Walsh will be involved in a seven episode arc, but no word on whether or not Jim and Cindy will be moving in with Tru Dushku.

note to Elvis Mitchell: lay off the crack pipe, holmes. how else can you explain the selection of "Pirates" as his #1 Film of 2003? "Pirates", are you for reals? yeah, it was entertaining i suppose, but the movie was easily 40 minutes too long and frankly just not that great. now i heart Keira Knightley as much (if not more) than the next guy, but that hardly qualifies a film as a masterpiece (if she got nakes, then that would be an entirely different story). at least A.O. Scott ("Master and Commander") and Stephen Holden ("Angels In America") had the common decency to proofread their selections before going to press with them.

The DetNews previews the new Stevie Yzerman game for the X-Box. too bad X-Box has no buzz. when Little Stevie Y decides to make a game for GameCube, i'm so there.

least important press announcement evs? Hootie And The Blowfish endorse John Edwards for president ... now that'll push him over the edge! as of press time, no word on who The Spin Doctors are choosing to endorse, but rumour has it they're leaning towards Dean. duh.

fuck yeah. Chelsea Clinton spotted bumpin' and grindin' with Marky Mark Wahlberg. R. Kelly stizz. good vibrations, yo.

Vice explores the hot button topic of threesomes and declare that they "blow" ... crap, there goes my New Year's plans! looks like i'm going to have to amend my resolutions for 2004 as well. bovs. and in related threesome news, Kramer, George and Elaine attempt to put the Manute Bol block on the highly anticipated Seinfeld DVDs. what a bunch of crybaby bitch asses, apparently the three aren't happy with the show that made them international superstars and millionaires dozens and dozens of time over. still, you have to wonder what the appeal is to having Seinfeld on DVD ... it's on like nineteen times daily as it is. do i really need a commentary track to explain the evolution of The Soup Nazi? er, not so much. i veto. "seinfeld" buzz comes courtesy of Beat Royalty.

The Old Grey Lady parties with The Suicide Girls. not half as fun as partying with The FOW Nation, this i guarantee you.

more Best Of 2003 goodness for you. Miss Modernage turns in her Top Ten Records of the year and Rob Theakston gets jiggy with three top ten lists (Top Reissues / Comps, Top Films, Top "Things"). also, over at The Vacation Home of Lindsayism, Lindsay recaps her Top Six Films of 2003 ("Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" buzz ... hott!). all three are hella essential. as for your Uncle Grambo, i seem to have misplaced my scribbled list of 2k4 Grahammy Award winners in the field of music ... no buzz. i'm working on a collaboration with the delectable Cinecultist for 2003's "Hott List" ... look for an early 2004 pub date. and my Grahammy Film Awards should be out around the time of Oscar nominations (late Jan buzz); it always takes a little longer for this list to be released as a lot of late year indie hottness doesn't make it's way to The D until January. shmears. but trust me kiddies, said lists will be worth the wait.