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Friday, September 05, 2003  

when it's time to party, we will party hard

if you love Andrew WK, today is your lucky day. The Grizz managed to turn The Detroit News into The Andrew WK News with not one but TWO articles on WK in today's paper. first off, he turns in this interview with Mr. WK and then he also gets loose with an A- review of "The Wolf", which I believe streets on Tuesday. he describes WK as being "hopelessly trapped in a world where all of life's ills can be solved by big guitars, monster keyboards and choruses the size of the Western Hemisphere", but caveats it by explaining that that description is actually a good thing!

what are your plans for Saturday night? if you've got nuthin' doin', I suggest that we get a crew together and head down to The Lager House to witness the latest Detroit-based buzz band du jour, The Fondas. the lovely and talented Miss Melody Licious (a long time FOW and bass player for The Gore Gore Girls) explains that Saturday is the record release party for the bands latest LP, "Coming Out", on the famed Sympathy For The Record Industry label (where Little Jackie White got his start). i say buzz.

welcome to the party, pal! Blogging is the latest craze in Britain!

Johnny Depp bows to the pressure and issues a press release that claims his comments were "inaccurate" and "taken out of context." never heard THAT excuse before!

got $65 to spare? then head over to New York's Salon Mexico restaurant and try the "El Burrito Sashimi." the chef, Alan Miguel Kaplan, explains that his latest culinary concoction is stuffed with three-quarters of an ounce of Sevruga caviar, sushi-grade yellow fin tuna, cucumbers and avocado slices and is "really dynamite" (I'm quoting here).

watch yo back, Demi! Paris Hilton was seen moving in on Ashton Kutcher at a recent party in Miami. Kutcher's rep denies there was any canoodling.

you know what doesn't go well with the world's worst complexion (at least in the realm of famous people)? two black eyes and a broken schnoz. obvs I'm talking about Cammy.

finally! it's about damn time that someone saluted Detroit's classic late-night coney joints! Plaka's, Lafayette and Spanga's all get props. however, the reporter (Mekeisha Madden) loses props for not mentioning Ian or inquiring as to why there are giant penises painted alongside the Greek gods that adorn the walls. and how about that Jay Towers portrait? i guess some mysteries are better left unsolved. like why The Grizz didn't write this article...

posted by uncle grambo |
 

move over mariah

'cuz Britney's on fire! just like babies with pacifiers!


(EDITOR'S NOTE: Bookmark this page and check it first thing every morning. It will change your life.)

posted by uncle grambo |
Thursday, September 04, 2003  

millions of peaches, peaches for me

just in case there's anyone out there that actually needed further proof that Ticketmaster is evil, MacK10 (aka Maw) just revealed that they're planning on auctioning off the best concert seats to the highest online bidders, eBay style, instead of on a first-come, first-serve basis. how worst is that? no more rewarding fans who sleep out overnight in hopes of getting hott tixx for their favorite artists! now all you've got to have to get the best seats in the house is a shitload of disposable income. totally durst. Eddie Vedder was right. what a revolutionary thinker. too bad that fight cost PJ their career (in terms of capitalizing on their success when they were red-hot).

speaking of MAW, the new issue of Venus is on newsstands now. the lurvely and talented Peaches is the cover subject, but this time she's sans beard. check out Miss MacKenzie's articles on Leona Naess, Shelby Lynne and The Stills. obvs.

one of my newest, most favorite-est blogs is FluxBlog. aside from sharing tons of hott mp3's, the Fluxblogger provides some noteworthy reviews on upcoming CDs. i was particularily intrigued by the commentary that was provided on the upcoming R.E.M. greatest hits record. i totally concurred with most of his points, especially the altogetherly puzzling inclusion of "E-Bow The Letter." worst. REM. single. ever! but I'm also happy that the boys decided to include "Nightswimming" and "Electrolite", the latter of which is easily my fave post-"Automatic" track by the group. all in all, it looks like a greatest hits comp that will please the both the hardcore and softcore fanbase of The Greatest American Band™ of the last twenty years.

great news for all of the advertising geeks who read whatevs.org. the highly respected London adman Charles Saatchi (of Saatchi & Saatchi fame) just got married to the über hott Nigella Lawson. i swear, any time that I flip through the Style Channel and catch a glimpse of "Cooking With Nigella", I'm hooked for the entirety of the program. so curvy (those hips)! so voluptous (those lips)! so British! so best!!!

it's good to see that fame hasn't affected Badly Drizz. yep, he's still wearing that wool cap.

don't know how often (if ever) any of the FOWs peruse the links section of the right-hand side of this page, but if you've never checked out the online humour zine Kittenpants before, now is the perfect time to start. one of my long-time faves, Matthew Tobey, contributes a step-by-step list of how to do your Laundry, 2k3 style! (excerpt: "Are your clothes dirty? Are they dizzirty? Are they even dizzir-tay? Shit yeah, they are. But youíre an extreme dude or dudetress, so chuck that Tide and Clorox in the same turd-slot you threw your Linkin Park CDs as soon as the clock struck 2003. Thatís right, youíre washing clothes in 2K3, muthafucka, and this ainít your wrinkled old grannyís way of doing laundry.") or perhaps you should check out "The Good, The Bad and The Tomlin." or if non-fiction is your thang, hit up this interview with Michael Ian Black ("The State", "Wet Hot American Summer", "Ed"). some say essential. some say best. i say it's both. obvs.

and i will leave you with a photo that The Lawrs kindly sent along to me earlier today. while I'm not quite sure where he got the scan of this picture, can you really complain about Ashley Olsen wearing a towel and getting it missionary position style from some dude on the set of her latest film? didn't think so. BEST!

where's mary kate?

(EDITOR'S NOTE: Just in case you don't believe that's her, check out this photo taken just moments before!)

posted by uncle grambo |
 

no frills linkage

Will Pacey be the next Batman? (link via Nummer)

David Blaine, your magic is real. too bad the folks at Guinness don't agree. David Blaine's latest stunt will not make the Guinness Book Of World Records.

Stuff previews the upcoming release of "The Family Guy: Season Three" on DVD.

finally, a step in the right direction! UMG is dropping the list price of their CDs down from $18.98 to $12.98.

For the first time ever, Toyota outsold Chrysler last month. Stupid krauts.

Ah-Nuld gets egged (via Drudge).

The marriage of Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman is on the ropes.

People love love LOVE "Wet Hot American Summer" (link via Stereogum).

I'm outta here. I'm going to go hump the refrigerator and smear mud on my ass.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

what goes around comes around

this is NOT the kind of effort that your fans deserve! whatsamatta with you, Detroit Tigers? how DARE you win a game by hitting a homerun to lead off the 11th inning? the fans paid good money to go to the ballpark and see you lose! and you treat them like this? don't worry, you can make up for it by going 6-18 in your next 24 games to tie the record. that would suffice. but don't you think that you should go the extra mile and break the all-time loss record?

this news makes me resent the fact that I was stranded out at Bursley even more. Lucy Liu used to have pictures of nude women on the walls of her University of Michigan dorm room !!!

who knew that those fey Scottish popstars known as Belle & Sebastian were baseball fans? according to an article in this week's New York Observer by Rebecca Traister, B&S confront the sexual orientation of New York Mets catcher Mike Piazza in a song called "Piazza, New York Catcher" on their forthcoming, Trevor Horn produced LP. lead singer Stuart Murdoch directly addresses Piazza by asking "New York catcher, are you straight or are you gay?" controversial buzz!

are you one of those people who says "there's never anything fun to do around Detroit"? well now you have no excuse. The Grizz laid out your Detroit-based entertainment options for the entire fall in yesterday's Detroit News.

Did Ginger Spice (aka Geri Halliwell) recently get a boob job? Sources say yes.

"I wanna keep ya happy, not just financially, but mentally, physically, romantically / I know it's funny 'cause I'm usually slammin' cats / Elbow off the rope in a wrestling match/ But you bring out another side of me" heartfelt lyrics like this and direct confrontations with The Hulkster await you on the upcoming Macho Man Randy Savage CD that drops on October 7th. oohhhh yyyyyyeeeahhh! (MTV actually spells that "Ooooh yeeeaaah", but I prefer my spelling).

best

posted by uncle grambo |
Wednesday, September 03, 2003  

"a" for effort

you gotta respect the effort, even if the execution was flawed. the curvaceously curvy Beyonce recently walked out of a photo shoot with ace photog David LaChappelle when he tried to get her to strip for the camera. "arch your back slightly and turn your bust towards me."

i know that Solo said it first, but i just don't feel the same about Justin Trousersnake ever since he made such an ass out of himself at last week's VMAs. he was just so white and so geeky, it totally ruined the goodwill that "cry me a river" and "rock your body" had earned with me. and now word is breaking that he mixed in the lyrics to "You're So Vain" during an impromptu performance of "Cry Me A River" after last week's VMAs. apparently he kept repeating the line "I bet you think this song is about you" as a way to lash out at Brit Brit, and concluded his song with the words "It is". oooh, Justin! you're so tough! why don't you just go and hold hands with Chris Martin and Make Trade Fair and REALLY show the world how bad ass you are! btw, your GF has the world's worst complexion evs (thanks to Method One for forwarding along, be sure and check out the freshly launched Method-One.com).

what are people going to be buzzing about the most this fall? The Grizz breaks it down in today's DetNews. and while you're checking out the News, be sure and check out M. Hudson Hawk's latest "Car Culture" column. the topic this time around? the outrageous price of gas these days (i dropped $1.86 a gallon just last night).

we can only hope these turn out better than the George Costanza / Joe Millionaire spots. KFC to try their hand at "reality" commercials.

beer, ciggs, skunk weed and holy water. at least this guy's being honest!

the wife of Dave Eggers revealed! i equate her to getting dealt a hand of 11 in blackjack and deciding to hold ... the odds are that you could've done a lot better.

somehow this one completely eluded me last week. Anna Pornikova quits job as TV reporter for the USA Network by citing the fact that she was "eating too much." say what? thanks to Matt for forwarding along.

Paris Hilton goes lezbo ... for real!!!! easily the best lipstick lesbian revelation since last thursday.

i wonder if they have a travelling team? (link via The Gorilla)

btw, I'm officially over "The O.C." i only caught the last 15 minutes last night, but in that time, I saw someone getting too drunk (again), that one bully dude try to instigate a fight (again) and the lead character get in trouble with the authorities (again). this time he went as far as to shoot that bully dude, albeit by mistake. save the drama fo' yo' mama, I'm outta heeeeerrrre. this show blows. The Grizz was right all along. that being said, "Nip / Tuck" is currently the best show on television. hands down.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

classy AND sexy

sofia coppola ... classy AND sexy

posted by uncle grambo |
 

the blog of revelations

man, that paper bag is HUGE!Jayson Blair is a midget! he's pocket size! who knew they made liars so tiny? (via Gothamist)

i'm sure that this is old news to Andy Nelson, but for the rest of us squares, The Village Voice enlightens on how to get around DVD region codes. there are so many dope Asian and European releases on DVD that our stupid region 1 players can't reveal ... this is best.

memo to Bruce Willis: dude, your wang is small. we've all seen "Color Of Night" and there's not much to be proud of. so why go skinnydipping on a public beach in broad daylight (btw, totally SFW)? on an unrelated note, your GF is totally hott.

so this is what Glamorama would be like if it was possessed by the spirit of Victor ("Rules Of Attraction" stizz). and Kegzies, consider yourself fortunate that The Anti-Blog Blogger retired ... you were totally lined up in his / her sights.

does anyone else see shades of Herman Moore in these recent developments? Detroit Lions RB James Stewart is placed on injured reserve and is out for the entire season.

sack up, New York. yeah, I'm tawlkin' to youze, Queens. who do you think you are, Wimbledon? they're called clear skies ... you should try them sometime! most disappointing US Open ever? no Anna. no Sampras. shit, i had to endure yet ANOTHER viewing of the Krickstein / Connors quarter from `91 on Monday! and worst of all, Serena had her giant cans on display while partying in your fair city! so gross!

only in england. the lead singer from Jamir-A-Durst named the most fashionable male in England. Jay Kay has never had buzz. not even back in `93 when I was the first person in the United States to reveal a Jamiroquai CD. easily one of the biggest mistakes of my lizz.

whether you choose to pray to God, Allah, Zeus, Yahweh or Gary Coleman, whatevs.org is asking you to take a few seconds and toss a request the way of your chosen deity. "please _________ (insert your higher power here), let "Goonies 2" get greenlighted!"

chunk ain't so chunky no more!

posted by uncle grambo |
Tuesday, September 02, 2003  

first casualty of chris rock's monologue

if there was one thing that most people were buzzing about this weekend, it was Chris Rock's opening monologue from last thursday's VMAs. from local radio personalities to co-workers to MY PARENTS (!!!), it seemed like everyone wanted to talk once again about how Chris Rock is riding high again after a couple of horrendous box office tank jobs ("Head Of State", "Bad Company"). one of his targets was the Jermaine Dupri / Janet Jackson relationship ("she's a 10 and he's about a 4 ... that's a six point differential!"), and you can't help but wonder if his barbs had anything to do with Janet dumping Jermaine sometime over the last couple of days ... on the TELEPHONE, no less!

Sparty On! Michigan State basketball dropout (and current Golden State Warrior) Jason Richardson convicted on a domestic violence charge stemming from an assualt on his ex-girlfriend. the ex is also his baby's momma. go State!

Anna Pornikova looking hotter than ever as she hawks sports bras on Amazon.com (all you FOWs who sent me the tip on this one, thanks! you know who you are).

remember when Kramer fed a whole can of beans to his horse during his short-lived run driving a Handsome Cab? that's nothing compared to when whales fart! props to The Grizz for revealing!

finally, things are looking up for "The Battle Of Shaker Heights." it expanded into the Top 10 markets this weekend and performed remarkably well, especially considering that Labor Day is Hollywood's official dead zone. Shia and "Shaker Heights" scored about $11,666 per screen this weekend, raising its overall gross to date to a little over $200,000. the only film that outperformed the Project Greenlight flick was "American Splendor", which raked in $12,215 per screen. here's hoping that the film can eek out another good weekend or two and Harv will have the guts to expand the film a little wider.

posted by uncle grambo |
 

forehand stroke

in what will likely go down as the best birthday present bestowed upon any individual in the United States during the calendar year of 2003, young GKVibe was treated to a weekend of Pure Tennis Hottness at the US Open from his GF, Miss Becky Backhand. the devastatingly sexxxy duo stormed into Flushing Meadows for a few days of some smokin' USTA buzz. here is an email that I received from the young GKV just moments ago...

--------------------------------
From: GKVibe
To: markdgraham@yahoo.com
Date: Tue, 02 Sep 2003 14:05:02 +0000

Had a great time in NYC this weekend. I'll recap later for ya. But most importantly I had the pleasure of seeing Maria Sharapova play twice - singles on Thursday, Aug. 28 and doubles on Friday, Aug 29. First row both times. I have about 60 photos of her on the digi to sift through. I am attaching some hott pixxx that I took last Friday from her doubles match w/ partner Lisa Raymond against Alina Jidkova and Akiko Morigami. I am going to send a few messages w/ pix.... i can only fit so many in one message.
GKVIBE

maria standing in the shadows of GKV

maria come to GKV

maria balls from pants

posted by uncle grambo |
 

vacation's all i ever wanted

your average everyday sane psycho super goddess

back from break and this week is gonna be a bear. although everyone loves having a day off, don't you feel like the weeks where there are only four working days are the most grueling to get through? i dunno, that's just been my experience of late. we've still got our 40-plus hours of work that we have to squeeze in, only now there's four days to get that stuff accomplished instead of five. but why am i bitching about having Monday off? i need (another) vacation.

it was quite the productive weekend for YT. finally caught up on some much needed sleep on Friday night, headed out to A2 for a wildly successful tailgate / U of M victory on Saturday, spent some QT with the fam on Sunday and had a movie / Mario Golf fest yesterday. finally caught "American Wedding", "Freddy Vs. Jason" and "Dirty Pretty Things" over the wknd ... good times, good times. if you haven't done so already, get out and see "DPT", it should land in a lot of Top 10 Lists (mine included) at year end. it might even end up inspiring me enough to revisit the Twenty Word Reviews, you never know.

as far as what's going on in that big bad world out there, hopefully you spent your Sunday reading The New York Times like I did. but if for some reason you missed it, please do yourself a favor and read the Sofia Coppola profile / cover story for the Sunday NYT magazine. after reading the article, I'm fairly convinced that she's entrenched herself in my list of Top Three Coolest People Currently Alive, which is basically the equivalent of saying that I'm wildly jealous of her life. another member of that vaunted list is Miss Liz Phair, who appeared over the weekend on VH-1 as an "Inside Track" artist. i think that means that they're going to play the shit out of her "Why Can't I?" and upcoming "Extraordinary" videos. but Liz also popped up in an interview on MTV.com and answered 10 questions that her fans have posed to her in the NYT.

and for the sports fans out there, it looks like former Wolverine golden boy Drew Henson has decided to quit the Yankees and pursue a career as an NFL QB. Drew hasn't been able to adjust to the major league curveball and has been a MAJOR disappointment both offensive and defensively at the Triple-A level. while there's a part of me that is excited to see if he can become an NFL superstar, a larger part is still pissed that he ditched Michigan and a chance at leading the team to the National Title in 2001. we can only wait and see what happens to Henson in his career, but if he ends up floundering, he'll go down as one of the biggest wastes of athletic potential all-time.

posted by uncle grambo |
quote-a-matic
"I started out with a lot of Audioslave or anything Chris Cornell -- it helped with the aggression. And Chris Webber from the [Sacramento] Kings. There's a real sweetness behind his eyes, but he's pissed off."
Brad Pitt on the sources of inspiration for his character in "Troy"
be like mark
ECOUTEZ


loretta lynn - van lear rose



REGARDEZ


king of new york (special edition)



LISEZ


john kennedy toole - a confederacy of dunces

adventures w/disposable income
date: 5.8.04
source: CVS
amount: $19.48
(1) liter of Captain's
(2) liters of DC w/lime
(1) mother's day card

snl season 29
REVEALED!
by Nummer & H-Bomb
where's grambo?
may 10: the strokes @ state theatre
may 15: cardigans @ magic stick
may 17: softball league @ 8:30pm
may 17: last tourist @ small's (10pm)
may 24: softball league @ 6:10pm
may 27: sea ray / stills @ st. andrews
june 6: dido @ fox theater
june 7: softball league @ 7:20pm
june 14: softball @ 6:10pm
june 19: jessica's graduation party
june 21: softball @ 8:30pm
june 28: softball @ 6:10pm
july 3 - july 11: vacation @ TBD
july 12: softball @ 7:20pm
july 19: softball @ 7:20pm
july 26: softball @ 9:40pm
august 2: softball @ 7:20pm
august 14: nuptial buzz w/c friggs + lescal!!!
october 23: nuptial buzz w/the grizz + mandypants!!!
twenty word reviews
van helsing
**
REVIEW TK.
hellboy
***
REVIEW TK.
walking tall
*
REVIEW TK.
scooby doo 2: monsters unleashed
NO BUZZ!
REVIEW TK.
dawn of the dead
****1/2
REVIEW TK.
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
****1/2
REVIEW TK.
starsky & hutch
***1/2
REVIEW TK.
girl next door
***
re-imagines "Risky Business" with Vivid Girls instead of prostitutes; marks Elisha Cuthbert's arrival as an alluring, big screen sex symbol.
eurotrip
*
Despite the best efforts of TrachtenBest, suffers greatly from a lack of forward momentum (scriptwise) and some remarkably bland casting
along came polly
**
aside from Philip Seymour Best Ever's performance ("RAIN DANCE!"), I vastly preferred this when it was called "Dharma And Greg."
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