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Friday, July 25, 2003  

i love the smell of a great ad campaign in the morning

it smells like ... VICTORY! great TV spots are few and far between these days. great automotive commercials are even scarcer, especially here in The D with the traditionally stodgy Big Three. GM can thank its lucky stars that they were able to wrangle Liz Vanzura away from Volkswagon (she worked with Arnold on the pioneering VW spots of the mid to late `90s) to head up the Hummer brand. and while Hummer's work has been steady up to this point, their new "Big Race" campaign is top-notch, Clio worthy work. the agency in charge of the creative development of this spot is Boston's Modernista!, who hired director Scott Hicks ("Shine", "Snow Falling On Cedars") to direct. the commercial, set to The Who's "Happy Jack", feels very Wes Anderson-y (I just coined a new adjective) and follows a visionary young boy as he sets out to compete in a local soap box derby. the work is a branding bulls-eye and will certainly be highly buzzed about both in the advertising community and in the general public. props out to Liz and Modernista! for some truly magnificent advertising.

The Grizz gets busy in this morning's DetNews. he reviews the new Jane's Addiction Record ("a winning, against-all-odds comeback for some of rock's greatest oddballs") and also recaps the madness surrounding yesterday's OzzFest at DTE. crazy train indeed!

after some of the recent controversy surrounding her relationship with the NYT's Jodi Kantor, one of whatevs.org's favourites is back with a great new column on TMN. Sarah Hepola creates a personal diary of sorts about "The Key to a Successful Freelance Career." freelancing has always seemed sorta glamourous to a wanna-be-writer schlub like me, so I definitely appreciate her ability to show both the ups and the downs of this career decision in a humourous fashion. if you're a writer or have similar aspirations, consider this a must-read.

dunno if you caught this, but I apologize for using all of the our's in the last paragraph. obvs I've still got a little Anglophile left in me, and I like to go with "favourite" vs. "favorite" whenever poss. btw, I also prefer "gray" to "grey" but, in a weird twist, I hate people who call "donuts" "doughnuts". don't you?

Gawker adds a Comments section. one-time publishing fluke or a new trend? developing...

and in celebrity sex news, we've got a few developments. turns out that George Stephanopoulos bangs his wife Alexandra Wentworth twice a day, Jerry Lewis is now claiming that he banged Marilyn Monroe back in the dizz, and that the girl who was misidentified as Kobe Bryant's accuser is considering suing websites who falsely splashed her picture all over the 'Net. right on.

and although no "official" reviews are out yet, the buzz is so negative on next week's "Gigli" that it makes "Swept Away" look like "Citizen Burns." while I was under the impression that everyone already knew that J. Lo's character in the film is a lesbian, turns out that's NOT the case at all. I revealed this during Sunday dinner with my 'rents, The Grizz and Mandypants and they were all shocked to hear the news. I guess it's likely because most people's knowledge of the film comes from the TV spots, which have admittedly been very misleading. with all the bad buzz, wouldn't you think that they'd reveal Lesbian Buzz as a last-minute hook for people before all of the negative reviews hit the papers next week? if I were running the marketing on the film, I'd be working overtime this weekend to cut some new spots together to build on potential LezBuzz, esp. if there's any hott girl-on-girl action. but then again, it's probably too late to save this dog. cut your losses and cross your fingers hoping that it does well overseas. looks like Miramax's decision to push "Jersey Girl" into 2004 was a smart move after all!

posted by uncle grambo |

the laser!

i missed last night's set due to a "Seabiscuit" screening that ran late, but The Laser collective ran wild at the Magic Stick last night. The Laser ... as a collective, they make The Matrix look like the LXG. could the LXG be any more durst?!? anysluts, here's last night's set list for all y'all hep cats out there:

the lasers set cut short thanks to street dad:
1. my love is like whoa- mya (carson daly style)
2. crazy in love- beyonce (only cause a girl showed me her boobs)
3. pump up the volume- marrs (it must be the shoes)
4. groove is in the heart- deelite (a perfect mix wit marrs honestly)
5. video killed a radiostar- the buggles
6. ignition (remix) - r. kelly (im not trying to be rude)
6. livin on a prayer- the jov (these f-ing kids can sing along)
7. escape- enrique (the olstanxd by)
8. more than words- extreme (purrrfect closer)

next week a full hour long set featuring all of these and more by the laser.

uh! do it doug!!

posted by uncle grambo |
Thursday, July 24, 2003  

madge goes gap

donatella versace calls the new look "daring."

jean-paul gaultier declares "even when she rebels against fashion, it becomes fashion."

meanwhile, Uncle Grambo comments that "gap hasn't had buzz since those Crystal Method commercials. c'mon Madge! what's next, the corpse of Jackie O shilling for Aberzombie & Durst?" the latest issue of Harper's Bazaar hits newsstands on August 12th.

posted by uncle grambo |

pardon my french

pardon my french, but Eric Crouch is a pussy. this former Heisman Trophy winner has once again quit football during training camp, this time as a potential Green Bay Packer. for those that don't have prior knowledge of Crouch, this former Nebraska quarterback "retired" (read: quit) from the St. Louis Rams TWICE (!!!) a few years back during training camp before he even played a down in a regular season game. you wanna know why? because the coaches wouldn't let him play QB! so the Green Bay Packers invited him to training camp this year and, once again, he quits! this time it's even before the official start of training camp! this dude has no sack whatsoevs. total crybaby wuss.

best! Ethan Hawke will direct the film adaptation of his first novel, "The Hottest State." yes, I read the book and found it to be less than best, but still! Ethan Hawke is best. if only he were 10 years younger, he'd be the perfect choice to portray William. this would certainly be the best film since Branagh's "Hamlet" where the director of the film was also the lead!

Catchdubs reveals Miss Modernage's real identity! and believe it or not, she's not actually a "we" ... she's a "her"! all this courtesy of Laura Young's recently published review of a Ryan Adams concert in NYC. the identity of Miss Modernage was the best-kept secret in the blogging world! now someone needs to reveal JPEG buzz!

of COURSE she is. Rolling Stone reveals that Gina Gershon is working with a very talented bunch of individuals on her upcoming debut album, including Linda Perry (Pink, X-Tina, Courtney Hole), veteran producer Don Was (the Detroiter has worked with Bob Dylan, Bonnie Raitt, Parliament Funkadelic and others), and not one but TWO former members of Guns 'N' Roses, Slash and Matt "Matt Scoring" Sorum (EDITOR'S NOTE: Apologies for the overwhelming amount of commas and parentheses in that last sentence, this addendum included. obvs.). i bet she's gonna have one helluva hot debut video, hopefully with some lipstick lesbian luvvin'. Bound stizz. obvs. (link courtesy of MacK10)

could John Mayer be any more of a DB? John Mayer tries Hip-Hop with help From The Root's ?uestlove. screw the spoon, gag me with an entire set of flatware! blech!

today's PopBitch email spreads some wicked Jack White / Zellweggs buzz. it claims that Renee was giving Little Jackie White some road head when he got in his now infamous car crash last week. i say BS. i heard it was only a hojo.

as if you needed any more proof that Kobe Bryant is a scumbucket, reports are breaking that he bought a $4 million eight-carat purple diamond ring for his wife earlier this week. how'd that one go? "hey hunnybunny, sorry I banged a white girl in 'Rado. hopefully this Rock of Gibrizz that I'm going to put on your finger will help you forget this ever happened." yeah rizz! what a dick.

last but not least, this is easily the best thing that I've heard in days. apparently needing cash for an upcoming coke binge, Chevy Chase is starring in commercials for the Turkish answer to Coca-Cola. the commercial opens with a cowboy holding Islamic praying beads introduces Cola Turka (the name of the beverage) to Chevy Chase. At the end of the commercial, Chase grows a mustache - a trademark of Turkish men - and his family begin singing a popular nationalist march in Turkish after drinking Cola Turka. His children kiss the hands of grandparents in respect for a Turkish tradition when they leave the house and his wife pours a bucket of water into the street behind their car to make sure their trip is safe and easy like the flow of water - another Turkish tradition. i tried finding this spot on the Information Superhighway with no avail, but it makes the Arby's Oven Mitt campaign sound Clio worthy! no buzz for Chevy (link courtesy of Cha Cha Cha).

posted by uncle grambo |

whatevs watcher

all kindsa Ozzy sightings yesterday! i saw his tour bus outside of The Townsend last night, but unfortch didn't catch a glimpse of the man himself. fortunately for all of us, The Lawrs did:

" Ozzy must be taken Bham by storm - he was in the Oakland Athletic Club last night. I was running on the treadmill and in he walks. He had what looked to behis trainer and some assistant or something. Not sure where they went though because I never saw him again after he walked through to the back ... possibly they set something up just for him in the back gym or something. Ozzy was getting cut up for Ozzfest."

posted by uncle grambo |

the kills @ the magic stick

i missed this highly buzzed about show last night due to prior commitments with work, but I've heard from numerous sources that it was a rockin' evening. here's a couple of photos courtesy of Ryan over @ Motorcityrocks.com. dig.

posted by uncle grambo |
Wednesday, July 23, 2003  

romenesko if you want to

i can't believe that someone dislikes JP McKrengels enough to have created this website!!!

if you missed the Peabs / Gorilla / C Friggs extravaganza at Fishbone's the other night, fear not. Here's plenty o JPEGs.

my oh my, will Steve-O ever learn? Steve-O arrested while touring with the Lollapalooza gang. surprisingly it's not on coke charges, just some urinary buzz.

ah, the things you learn whilst surfing Romenesko. for instance, you learn that the next issue of Radar is going to be delayed until October due to cash flow issues at the start-up mag. you also learn about 33-year old Janice Min, who happens to be the successor to Bonnie Fuller at US Weekly. and you also learn the backstory behind Vanity Fair's utterly bizarre article on 66, a new upscale restaurant in NYC. Romenesko ... so much buzz.

posted by uncle grambo |

whatevs watcher

from The Grizz:
Ozzy Osbourne spotted at Starbucks in Birmingham this morning! not by me, but by someone else at the paper. Imagine him ordering those frappacinos!!

from M. Hudson Hawk:
While waiting for friends on a visit to Chi-town, Hawk and Mrs. Hawk partook in a seat on the steps next to The Cheesecake Factory at the base of the Hancock tower to rest. Sitting 10 feet away at the outdoor tables were Jay-Z and his squeeze Beyonce K. Both were enjoying strawberry smoothies, complete with giant berry garnish. Hova was decked out in his Roca and B was in what appeared to be a copy of her Pepsi commercial garb. Jigga downed the gourmet slider plate while his girl picked at some spring rolls. Tourists passed by w/o a care. Giant body guards glared at everyone and shooed away small kids looking for autographs. The pair were best described as almost goofy in each others' presence. True love? In any event, our two month marriage was rekindled by the sight. Oh, and Jay was helping B put on a new pair of gold dangly earrings, likely purchased on the Mag Mile only mins earlier! (EDITOR'S NOTE: The following took place on Saturday, July 19th at approximately 5pm CST)

posted by uncle grambo |

rumour, innuendo and speculation

as I've said time and time again, everybody loves white girls. even Kobe. here's some Kobe Bryant accuser buzz. btw, i have no idea if these are real. I've heard there's Hoax Buzz around whether or not these snaps are legit. either way, she gets a thumbs up from Uncle Grambo. (link courtesy of Hanszie) (EDITOR'S NOTE: Allegedly these photos are NOT of the girl in question. Right name, wrong bizzo. I hear there's lawsuit buzz. Keep looking!) (ANOTHER UPDATE: New photo of the "real" girl now at right. Shown earlier today on MSNBC. Photo found on Binary Report. Posted at 1:57pm)

Mini-Me gets engaged to his 6'2" yoga instructor. wanna take bets as to how long this one will last? she's already cheated on him with a male stripper, whch sent Verne on a massive bender that landed him in rehab. let's hope that Mini Troyer is smart enough to get a prenup (link courtesy of Solotarian Views)

The House Of Wigs reviews Wario Ware Inc. so best.

The Student and his Gawky Bird to get hitched at Senor Spielbergo's mansion. Translation for those not intimately familiar with Whatevs Speak: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin will hold their wedding reception at Steven Spielberg's house.

The Dude abides. Jeffrey Dowd, the real life inspiration behind the character known as "The Dude", gets some Yahoo buzz.

Fox Searchlight starts their own blog.

Why iTunes Won't Save the RIAA From Pirates, Downloads, Lost Product, and Ill Will. (article from this week's Village Voice courtesy of The Gorilla)

A new pharmaceutical product called Levitra signs a marketing partnership with the NFL. "so what's Levitra?" you ask. it's a new competitor to Viagra that launches (so to speak) this fall. boners during football games ... i say worst evs.

posted by uncle grambo |

dr. octopus buzz!

first image released from next year's "Spiderman 2" ... Alfred Molina stizz!

posted by uncle grambo |

back from beantown

after an impressively formidable hosting stint from The Gorilla, your Uncle Grambo figures that there's only one surefire way to get back in the blogging mix. you guessed it, celebrity nips! this time we've got the most prominent blonde crack smoker in H-Wood, Miss Oxy Diaz! buzz. obvs.

posted by uncle grambo |
Tuesday, July 22, 2003  

From the files of Allen Bukoff, PHD

Ed note: Last time I was here, I profiled some of the art work of Allen Bukoff, PHD. This time I asked him to write a little something about a new Detroit band he's been working with and here's what I got.

a confluence of candy

1. New Detroit Band called The Candy Band --Royal Oak moms with sugar-jacked young kids playing nursery rhymes in a Ramones/Clash style (started as a creative solution to a baby sitting problem). Playing biker bars and kids birthday parties. More at www.candyband.com. View the 7MB streaming video of the band playing, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" last week at a crowded YWCA noontime fundraiser in Clawson.
Video shot by 8-year old son of the bass player. The crowd of kids almost got out of hand. Paul, didn't you get slapped by a couple of mothers? (ed note: No, I didn't see any MILFs in attendence so there wasn't anything worth getting slapped over)

2. HoodCandy.com is a new Detroit brand and the latest contribution from Detroit to the Man Show/Maxim/Burlesque-revival thing that is going on in this country. "Cool cars. Hot girls." The return of the classic auto garage pin-up calendar...only this time starting as a website. Catch the first issue (a local model from one of Kid Rock's videos) and buy the underwear at www.hoodcandy.com. Some debate in the local auto industry about whether or not this site is pornographic. My wife is working on it so I don't see how it can be. (ed note: Your wife was in a Kid Rock Video?!?! I didn't know Janice had it in her.)

3. I almost never eat candy for lunch but I did ride a Segway in Wisconsin last week. You'd have to be an idiot to fall off one of these. (ed note: Or to ride one with that helmet)

...that's it from your self-promoting boomer correspondent from the wastelands of Birmingham...

Allen Bukoff, PHD (ed note: PHD added by editor)

posted by The Gorilla |

Mercury Prize Nomination

I know there's plenty of anglophiles in this hizzy, so without further ado the nominees for the 2003 Mercury Music Prize, given to the best album in all of Britain (a bit of the tallest midget, but whatevs).

Radiohead, Hail to the Theif
Coldplay, A Rush of Blood to the Head
Dizzee Rascal, Boy in the Corner
The Thrills, So Much for The City
Soweto Kinch, Conversations With the Unseen
Floetry, Floetic
The Darkness, Permission to Land
Martina Topley-Bird, Quixotic
Eliza Carthy, Angelicana
athlete, Vehicles and Animals
Terri Walker, Untitled
Lemon Jelly, Lost Horizons

Radiohead and Coldplay are considered the front runners at 4/1 according to UK odds-makers Noshit and Sherlock. All though in years with multiple favourites a darkhorse (like Badly Drawn Boy in 2000) often wins because of the number of nominees, catapulting them to hours and hours of fame and fortune.

posted by The Gorilla |

Talk about a no brainer

In stunning move that will likely shatter all your existing perceptions of space and time, Jerry Goldman of the Beatles Story Museum in Liverpool announced that they would open a new Paul McCartney exhibit.

Mr. Goldman also said that the Museum had made, "little to no progress" on their attempt to hunt, capture, kill, stuff and display Ringo Starr in a diorama depicting him in his natural habitat, eating fish and chips in the back of a tour bus somewhere outside of Iowa City.

In other news, The Yoko Ono Story Museum of Kyoto remains way creepy quiet -- like no one ever goes there.

posted by The Gorilla |

How to get your business off to a bad start

Well if you're an brand new online music provider, like say buymusic.com then have a bunch of rules about how consumers can use your product to protect the major labels you are essentially competing with, then advertise your service with a musician who hasn't had a hit in over 10 years, is generally viewed as complete wank and who's new albums no fan of any genre of music will ever buy. Someone like, I don't know...

Well, they got my attention anyway.

posted by The Gorilla |

Unfamiliar with Pop Culture? Then Go Work at VH-1

In a year or two when VH-1 does its list of worst list shows we ever did, I have to say that the recent 200 Greatest Pop Cultural Icons is going to rank near the top.

Here's the top 10

10. Michael Jackson
9. Princess Di
8. Michael Jordan
7. Madonna
6. Marilyn Monroe
5. Tom Cruise

Ok, I was with ya' up until here, you can argue the order or say someone's better, but Jerry McGuire is more important to pop culture than any of the previous 5? They must really like Far and Away.
4. Lucille Ball
3. Elvis Presley
2. Superman

I generally think its better to separate real people from fiction, but whatever.
1. Oprah -- Frankly I don't get it. No doubt she's actually an Icon, but how they justify her being above Elvis, Marilyn or even Madonna I don't think I understand. Sure she' s alive and retains potential, but her show is almost a decade past its peak of popularity and relevance.

These don't even cover some of the most outrageous propositions on this list. For example the cast of Friends is a bigger icon than the Beatles, because when I think of a tectonic shift in how we view popular entertainment, I think of only one word... Schwimmer.

Also, Jennifer Lopez is now bigger than Mickey Mouse according to this list. Apparently, now the kids in those Chinese slave labor factories are churning out Jenny from the Block coloring books and dreaming of one day running away to Lopez Land.

This is all so Durst (who probably out ranks Muhammad Ali I just don't have the patience to look.)

posted by The Gorilla |
Monday, July 21, 2003  

How'd I miss this one???

I'm sure the Dude will abide. But seriously, who doesn't like bowling in Kentucky?

posted by The Gorilla |

Last minute East Side Buuzzzzzzz.

Together again for the first time

Peabs and Gorilla (hey that's me!) recently of Immerse, joined by Mark "Marky Jules" Julien will be rocking the east side acoustic stizz at Fishbones, 23772 Jefferson in St Clair Shores TONIGHT.

The show should start around 10-10:30 pm and as always at Fishbones there is no cover and plenty of drink and dinner specials (uh, yes I'd like my rice extra dirrrty).

Will the boys be joined by ex-Uncle Grambo roomie C. Frey for rocking set of triple guitars B.O.C. stizz???

Can I bold anymore words?


There's only one way to find out, and that's to get down to Fishbones at the corner of 9 Mile and Jefferson tonight!

posted by The Gorilla |

Linkos Supremos

Analysis of Lunch with the CIA

You're sort of quiet. Lets play a game, I spy something gangreen

Pippin signs with Chicago Bulls,in other boring news, Bill Walton still a tool.

Global population of males responds with a resounding boooo, followed by rationalization of, "health schmealth, bring on the tatas".

You guys are seriously losing it, go back to drinking and rockin' please, even your lame fans believe you're this lame.

posted by The Gorilla |

I think Time is just screwing with them

Nice cover story on Overcoming Dyslexia. Seriously who is this article suppose to help? This is right up there with NPR's Deaf Car Talk and Mimes for the Blind.

posted by The Gorilla |

da dadada dadada dododododododo

posted by The Gorilla |
Sunday, July 20, 2003  

Weekend Update

here's a brief Sunday night for all y'all. as most of you know, I'm off to Boston until Wednesday and The Gorilla has graciously accepted an offer to Guest Blog for your Uncle Grambo. obvs.

so as the world knows by now, Kobe Bryant has been formally charged with a "Felony Sexual Assualt" charge. this trial is going to be one of the bigger media circuses in recent memory, probably not as crazy controversial as the O.J. case, but certainly bigger than Robert Blake. i mean, c'mon! Robert Blizz never had buzz. Kobe, on the other hand, is (or at least was) the NBA's Golden Boy. expect to see the 19 year-old accuser's name and reputation take a critical beating in the press as Kobe's crack PR team will do anything and everything they can to tarnish her buzz. for example, take the news breaking this evening that she recently was taken to a hospital after she OD'd. or perhaps the reports that she unsuccessfully tried out for "American Idol" ... I've already gotten emails from a few different sources that reveal JPEG buzz. too bad I'm not going to pay $9.99 for them! I'll do some research, they'll crop up soon enough without me shelling out my VISA info to some shady bast. obvs. developing ...

what a student! Chris Martin arrested in Australia for harrassing the paparazzi! shatts, if the papis got a photo of me looking even 1/2 as ponce-y as C. Marts does, I guess I'd go after them too! what a tool!

okay, bedtime for Bonzo. keep it rizz, throw props to The Gorilla, and I'll catch you back on Weds. obvs.

posted by uncle grambo |
"I started out with a lot of Audioslave or anything Chris Cornell -- it helped with the aggression. And Chris Webber from the [Sacramento] Kings. There's a real sweetness behind his eyes, but he's pissed off."
Brad Pitt on the sources of inspiration for his character in "Troy"
be like mark

loretta lynn - van lear rose


king of new york (special edition)


john kennedy toole - a confederacy of dunces

adventures w/disposable income
date: 5.8.04
source: CVS
amount: $19.48
(1) liter of Captain's
(2) liters of DC w/lime
(1) mother's day card

snl season 29
by Nummer & H-Bomb
where's grambo?
may 10: the strokes @ state theatre
may 15: cardigans @ magic stick
may 17: softball league @ 8:30pm
may 17: last tourist @ small's (10pm)
may 24: softball league @ 6:10pm
may 27: sea ray / stills @ st. andrews
june 6: dido @ fox theater
june 7: softball league @ 7:20pm
june 14: softball @ 6:10pm
june 19: jessica's graduation party
june 21: softball @ 8:30pm
june 28: softball @ 6:10pm
july 3 - july 11: vacation @ TBD
july 12: softball @ 7:20pm
july 19: softball @ 7:20pm
july 26: softball @ 9:40pm
august 2: softball @ 7:20pm
august 14: nuptial buzz w/c friggs + lescal!!!
october 23: nuptial buzz w/the grizz + mandypants!!!
twenty word reviews
van helsing
walking tall
scooby doo 2: monsters unleashed
dawn of the dead
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
starsky & hutch
girl next door
re-imagines "Risky Business" with Vivid Girls instead of prostitutes; marks Elisha Cuthbert's arrival as an alluring, big screen sex symbol.
Despite the best efforts of TrachtenBest, suffers greatly from a lack of forward momentum (scriptwise) and some remarkably bland casting
along came polly
aside from Philip Seymour Best Ever's performance ("RAIN DANCE!"), I vastly preferred this when it was called "Dharma And Greg."
search THIS!

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