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Friday, June 20, 2003  

ship without a rudder

the dread pirate Keith Richardslet me begin by saying that I've never been more disappointed in a Detroit crowd than with last night's audience reaction to Evan Dando at The Magic Stick. Damore and B.B. Fett get into an interesting discussion on the subject in the Comments section of the post directly below, so I won't rehash what's already been said/written in great detail. but i will admit to being shocked that 90% of the audience SAT IN FOOKIN' FOLDING CHAIRS during the entire performance!!! i thought I had stumbled into a Gillian Welch show at The Ark, for chrissakes! other than that, Dando was supremely best last night, even if it was readily apparent that he's fallen off the wagon. but that's neither here nor there, as it didn't really affect his onstage performance (just his between song banter). to each his own, knowwhatimsayin? and btw, Juliana looks better than ever.

outside of that, there's really not a helluva lot going on today. yeah, a few outlets are reporting that Kid Rock and Pammy have split, but i've heard that one before. not going to give that one a lot of creedence. the LA Times takes a look at "Pirates Of The Carribean", which is the first PG-13 release under the Disney banner. while most would say "what's the big deal?", i think that it's a sad display of the times that we live in. I acknowledge the fact that Disney has long since given up the notion of "family values" (define that however you wish) in pursuit of the almighty dolla, they at least could be counted on to provide entertainment that's friendly for all ages. is your Uncle Grambo gettin' soft in his old age? maybe. for someone who celebrates Reality Televsion Blowjobs as much or more as anyone, this likely seems like a hardcore contradiction. but there's still a part of me that treasures what the Disney brand meant to me as a child and what they seemingly stood for, so it's just plain sad to witness yet another one of their core values crumble beneath the weight of quarterly profits.

posted by uncle grambo |
Thursday, June 19, 2003  

shattered dreams

okay, let me set the scene. exactly one week ago today I was at The Bowery Ballroom in NYC, getting ready for the Evan Dando concert. Damore and I had been exploring the city all day and hitting some very tigs hotspots. I'm talkin' breakfast at Cafeteria, the Flatiron Bldg, Rupert G's Hello Deli, a taping of "The Late Show" (guest hosted by Tom Green) and a few hours of culture at The Metropolitan Museum Of Art (aka The Met). after a quick pint at a Times Square pub, we hopped in a cab and headed over to The Bowery Ballroom for the Evan Dando show. we got there relatively early, probably around 9:30pm. the bar was pretty empty and the opening band, The Pieces (more like The Pieces Of Shit, if you ask me) hadn't even gone on yet. Damizz and myself were spewing some hardcore verbal rants against Mayor Bloomberg, whose recent ban on smoking indoors put a serious cramp on our style. So we sidled up to the bar on the stage floor and proceeded to get completely bombed out of our gourds. While I can't remember what Damore was drinking, I do know that at one point during the night he fell asleep (passed out?) while standing up. Swear to Jer. Yet I digress...

So there I am, pounding Makers + Coke after Makers + Coke. I had my serious swerve on and was buzzed beyond when Dando and Juliana finally took the stage (after a cringe-worthy performane by Cobra Verde). And let me tell you that it was magical. Evan opened up with "The Great Big No" off of the "Come On Feel The Lemonheads" album and never let up. After enjoying a few songs, I pulled out my trusty Olympus digital camera and started snapping some rad pics for the FOW Nation. I snaked through the crowd looking for good angles and I'm quite confident that I ended up with some supremely obvs shots. But as Dando came out for his final encore and I took a snap for posterity's sake, some drunken "whorecunt" (to use a quote from Will Ferrell) knocked my elbow and my camera became dislodged from my grip. The camera's descent towards the beer-covered floor happened in slow motion, and unfortunately no ninjas were in attendance to swipe the camera before it shattered into pieces on the floor. So then the inevitable occured. The camera hit the deck, batteries spewed everywhere and my camera's lens broke into two distinct pieces, kinda like The Titanic. I blurted profanities until Damore, ConnieNYC and a few of his buddies calmed me down. They calmed my frazzled nerves and doused my explosivo temper by assuring me that a camera repair shop would be able to fix my DC with no probs.

Flash forward to lunchtime today. I headed to not one but TWO local camera shops in an attempt to get my baby repaired. Unfortch for your Uncle Grambo, the prognosis was dire in each instance. Without getting into the technical details, my camera is straight effed in the A sans KY. Neither shop can repair the camera, I have to send it back to the manufacturer, where I'll be lucky to escape with a repair bill (and S&H charges) that's less than two bills. I haven't felt this Durst about anything in quite a long time. Looks like I'll have to make the trip to Besties this weekend to replace the fallen soldier, but it's too bad that a camera I bought almost exactly one year ago to the day is deader than Josh Hartnett's Q rating. And wouldn't you know it, it's the only major purchase I've made in the last few years without getting one of those Extended Service Plans. Just goes to show you that you can't always get what you want. Someone should write a song about that.

(EPILOGUE: The only good news that I can salvage from this is that the photos have been saved. I'm picking them up after work and will hopefully have some posts for you tomorrow. I'm talkin' Damore and Rupert G in the same frame. Obvs.)

posted by uncle grambo |

buncha fookin' muggles

the fever pitch for the release of the fifth installment of the Harry Potter series is reaching a boiling point. well, at least for the under-10 set or those whose reading level never quite progressed past that point. in today's Detroit News, The Grizz previews the festivities occuring tomorrow at midnight to mark the book's release, including a quote from esteemed Potter fan (and FOW) Coach Glinka (no offense to Coach for the crack-back).

spank mei caught the last 30 minutes of "Paradise Hotel" last night and found it to be only mildly interesting. i mean, i appreciated the humour involved when Zack tried to explain to Amy that the Billy Joel she just gave him was less than obvs. and i quote, "it's not like it wasn't awesome." that statement rings so true ... what dude hasn't been at that same point at one time or another? you gotta say SOMETHING, so that's what you do. say something that probably involves the word "awesome." anyway, the morning after conversation he had with another dude where he talked about "how (they) just kicked it for awhile" was also pretty class. switching subjects quickly, i realize that she's one helluva biznitch, but how in tarnations did that Beau dude pick Amanda over Charla (pictured at left)? he must've realized that it was going to be easier to score with Amanda. could there be any other reason?

enough reality television for the morning. we have some hot Kwame news to report on. The Freep is reporting that Kwame's top security officer was just fired for escorting Oscar Nominee Queen Latifah to an afterhours club during a recent stay in Detroit. i say buzz. when The Queen comes to town, you think she's gonna call Aretha? hell no. she calls Kwame! best!

while I was on sabbatical last week, FOW fave M. Hudson Hawk published his latest Car Culture column, "Where Have All The Dodge Boys Gone?"

your love is like a rollecoaster baby baby, i wanna ridei bet PR staffers at Cedar Point are kicking themselves right about now. check out the photos of Brit Brit on a rollercoaster, published by our good friends over at The Sun. while you're over there, the paper also reveals that Chris "Make Trade Fair" Martin wrote the B-side "Moses" about his Gawky Bird (aka Gwyneth). quite honestly, they played this song at each of the three shows that I saw on this tour and it's one of their better songs. look for it on the quasi-legal file sharing service of your choice.

as first reported here a few weeks back, David Beckham is leaving the British Isles and Man U for the sunny beaches of Spain and the Real Madrid soccer club. well okay, it wasn't technically "reported" here, I just linked to an article speculating on such. over on Slate this morning, Franklin Foer explains that the acquistion of Becks by Real Madrid is an attempt (and I'm paraphrasing here) "not to become the New York Yankees of global soccer, but to become the leading global soccer conglomerate." in other words, while Becks is no doubt a very important and very good footballer, he's more important to the club because of his international fame and the amount of money that he will make the club. essential.

posted by uncle grambo |

get my ass some cheesecake

just when you think that reality television can't get any better, somehow it does. the year began with a bang (or, more accurately, a blow) when "Joey Mills" knocked all of our collective socks off. as lame as "Mr. Personality" actually ended up being, you have to admit that the Bizarre Quotient was enticing enough to get you to watch (fairly attractive red head with big gums makes out with dudes who look like primary color versions of The Gimp). the "RW/RR BOTS" was far and away the best MTV show produced since the premiere series of "The Osbournes." who didn't root for Ruthie and I know that most of you out there were hoping that Puck would magically save his wife from Customs and lay the smack down on Ellen. but last night's debut of "Making The Band II" has quickly become the must-watch show of the summer.

for those who actually have a life and weren't watching MTV last night, "MTBII" is NOT about O-Town. it's the same concept, but P. Diddy is forming a hip-hop band, not Lou Perlman forming a boy band. got it? now that we've taken care of that, Episode I begins by recapping the fact that Diddy has already held tryouts and selected six people (four guys, two girls) for his yet-to-be-named band. it's been a few months since tryouts, but the band reassembles in NYC to begin work in the studio with The Puff. it's brazenly (did I just make that word up?) clear that each one of the six people selected has TOTALLY let the promise of future success get to their heads, as one of the guys put on a bunch of weight and one of the others is totally flossed out with bling. but in a twist from every other MTV Reality show since the dawn of time, instead of moving into a kickass condo, Puffy informs the six of them that their asses will be staying at the Best Western! even better, all six will be staying in the same room!!! you shoulda seen the look on these kids faces as they realized he wasn't kidding ... this is when the major attitude problems started surfacing. the entire group was like "yo, he ain't showin' us no respect! man, fuck THAT!" things didn't improve when they received a 6am wake-up call the next morning to work out in Central Park. one of the fellas patently refused to work out with the rest of the crew, instead he sulked on a park bench smoking Camel Lights and bitching that "yo, i got offers from RCA and No Limit and Def Jam just WAITIN' for me." throughout all of this, Puffy pops up in filmed interstitials like the goddamn Wizard Of Oz, providing commentary.

then things reached a breaking point. Diddy Style was meeting with the group, trying to let them know that they were gonna have to scrape and claw for all their success and in order for them to demonstrate how much they "wanted it", they should walk to Brooklyn and "get my ass some cheesecake." the group tried to revolt, but ended up walking from Times Square to some bakery all the way in Brooklyn (!!!) when Puff threatened to pull the plug on the entire project. the girls were bitching about getting "played" on national tv, and the dudes were pissed that Puffy was making them "act the bitch." yes, "act the bitch."

probably the best thing about this show is that people have always wondered what "The Real World" would be like if the castmates weren't a bunch of white Aberzombie & Durst models. well, now you have your answer. this cast is a complete polar opposite from the current cast of "RW: Paris", and watching and analyzing the difference between the two is going to make for some compelling bar conversations this summer. as is par for the course, the show concluded with upcoming highlights from the rest of the season. i'm talking no less than four actual brawls (Benton Harbor style), guys crying, Puffy screaming, roommate kissing, all the goods. the show airs Wednesday at 10pm on MTV. best.

posted by uncle grambo |
Wednesday, June 18, 2003  

not really news, but still...

the death of coolit's been widely reported before, but now it's certain that Rolling Stone has a terminal case of SARS. worst cover ever? we're talkin' even worse than the Avril or the "Women In Rock" issues.

btw, I'll be the first to throw out the race card on this one. why didn't RUUUUUUUBEN get the cover? he was the winner, after all ... to the victor goes the spoils, as the old saying goes. i know that Ruben got the "Scooby Doo 2" cameo, but look how far Macy Gray's cameo in "Spiderman" advanced her career, and that was the biggest movie of last year! anyway, back to my point, does anyone else agree that RS is afraid to put an overweight brother on their cover? i will guarantee you that their editorial staff got together, decided that they'd probably sell more copies with Clay than with Ruben, and went in that direction. I don't see how they're gonna steer clear of racist bombs on this one. thoughts?

posted by uncle grambo |

saved by the FOWs

today has been one of those awful days. everything is falling apart at the seams. our building's A/C went out about an hour ago and it's a god damn sweatbox in here. then add on the fact that everything that could possibly go wrong on this particular campaign that I'm working on is, in fact, going wrong. even worse, there's been absolutely no time to update whatevs.org! but thanks to some dedicatedly best FOWs, you will not feel the hunger associated with a dire lack of PHC. stuff your bellies full of these tasty articles (credit is given where credit is due):

from APLarcadia:
At Nude Youth Camp, Skin Is Bare but Lust Is Verboten

from C. Friggs (aka Friggedy):
This is just worst on so many levels, even if it's just speculation at this point.

First, Sonny Bono wins elected office after Disney bankrolls his ass, then he gets copyright extentions for Disney, and sets in motion the Digital Millenium Copyright Act for Jack Wurst Valenti (former LBJ lapdog) of the MPAA and Hollywood. Thankfully some trees decide to eliminate him on a ski slope. But then his wife gets elected in his place to continue the people's work of making more money for Disney, Hollywood and the recording industry, which bring us to the present day, in which it is rumored that she wants to be the next Hilary Rosen.


I'm off to download "I Got You Babe" on the not-at-all-legal file-sharing service of my choice. Fascinating.

also from Friggedy:
Finally, mp3s and players being used to save the souls of millions of supermarket shoppers every day.


Rot in hell, Kenny G!

from Nummer:
Lollapalooza has already cancelled their first date. Sorry Grand Rapids!

from The Gorilla:
Experts Declare SARS is Defeated

from JP McKrengels:
Bada Bing! The Sopranos To Return For A Sixth Season

posted by uncle grambo |

macromedia - making miracles happen

Color Amanda Bynes' Belly!!!

(link courtesy of Nummer)

posted by uncle grambo |

she uses magazines

as i explained earlier in the week, my lack of internet access last week put a serious dent in my overall Pop Culture IQ. so i've been making my way through back archives of the sites that I consider essential reading. while there are quite a few sites that I read regularly (see my links section at right), i'm mainly talking about Gawker, The Modern Age and Romenesko. it was during a back read of the latter that I stumbled across an article from the Chicago Tribune that ranked The 50 Best Magazines, under the following criteria: "What we like. We picked out magazines that you'll find on staffers' nightstands and coffee tables, in our backpacks and on our car seats and on the edges of our bathtubs. These are the periodicals for which we pay good money." all in all, the list is excellent and I poured through it exhaustively a few times, lamenting some of their choices (People at #5?) and making notes on which magazines I should pick up the next time I'm at Tower (Texas Monthly and Saveur). and since I was sitting relatively bored in focus groups until about 9:45 last night, I decided to maximize my time and come up with my own list of what I consider to be the Top 10 Magazines that are worth not only my hard earned money, but more importantly, my scant amount of free time. Wait, who am I kidding? I've got all kindsa free time! Regardless, here's my Grahammy Awards 2K3 for Best Evs Mags...

Honorable Mention: ESPN The Magazine, In Style, Los Angeles Magazine, Time Out, Venus

10) UNDER THE RADAR (undertheradarmag.com) — In all honesty, I had never even heard about this magazine until Sunday afternoon. I was browsing at the local Borders when I stumbled upon this gem of a music mag. While the production quality may be low by most glossy standards, the content (both in terms of subjects profiled and writing skill) is top notch. Some of the featured subjects this month include Elliot Smith, Richard Ashcroft, Ride / Mark Gardener / Andy Bell, and an entire section looking back at the history of the Shoegazing Movement!

9) THE NEW YORKER (newyorker.com) — There's a reason why it's regarded as the pre-eminent American magazine. If my list Was purely based on the quality of writing alone, this mag would easily earn the #1 seed. And you just gotta love the hilariously obtuse comics ... wtf!?!

8) COOK'S ILLUSTRATED (cooksillustrated.com) — And I don't even LIKE to cook! While I won't even begin to speculate about the quality of their recipes, this magazine is the literary equivalent of the scent of an apple pie baking in the oven during Thanksgiving weekend ... scrummy!

7) STUFF (stuffmagazine.com) — Of all the "lad mags" (FHM, MAXIM, Loaded, et al) cluttering the shelves these days, STUFF is easily my fave. Sure, the cover models don't have the same recognition as MAXIM, but everything between the covers is chock full of hot chicks and cool gadgets. the abundance of snarky witticism that ex-Editor-In-Chief Greg Gutfield brought to the table will certainly be missed.

6) GEAR — You'd think that a magazine that deftly straddled the line between high-brow (think ESQUIRE) and low-brow (think STUFF) would've found a loyal and receptive (if small) audience. Apparently not, b/c this mag has been on hiatus for months on end. Their yearly "Gear 100" issue is essential reading for anyone who prides themselves on staying ahead of the bleeding edge of pop culture. We miss you, hope the rumours that The Gucc is bringing you back by year's end are true!

5) US WEEKLY (usmagazine.com) — Their war with PEOPLE has energized both magazines into becoming the best that they can be. Digesting each issue is like hitting the crack pipe of pop culture, the high is fast and furious and you quickly need another issue to satisfy your craving. Where Editor-In-Chief Bonnie Fuller has succeeded is serving their readers all of the dirt you'd find in any given issue of THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER without the nasty stigma (and guilty feeling!) attached with purchasing a supermarket tabloid. Unstoppable?

4) THE BELIEVER (believermag.com) — Early on after purchasing the first issue, I wrote that THE BELIEVER was bordering too closely on pretension and that most of the subject matter felt too obtuse. While I still stand by that statement, I have learned that THE BELIEVER is a LOT like a single-malt scotch, an acquired taste that you learn to cherish and savour and that leaves you looking forward to your next glass. While I'm still making my way through Issues #2 and #3 (might I add that the interview with Liz Phair in Issue #3 is, in the words of Ferris Bueller, "so choice"), it's not because of boredom or disinterest. It's because the articles I've read up to this point are SO good that I don't want these issues to end! Props out to Editor (and FOE - Friend of Eggers) Heidi Julavits for continuing the proud tradition of MCSWYS in a magazine form.

3) ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY (ew.com) — The 800 lb. gorilla of weekly magazines. Sure, housewives with brats on both arms probably favor PEOPLE and US WEEKLY, but count your lucky stars if you don't fit the description above. This magazine has been churning out consistently high quality issues for as long as I can remember and continues to get better and better. The recent redesign is another bold step in the right direction and completely contradicts the old adage of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Their writers are among the best of the best (Gleiberman, Browne, Jessica Shaw, Carina Chocano and yes, even Schwarzbaum). But if you're like me and you initially avoided Joel Stein's back-page column, do yourself a favor and stop. He's on the short list of the best columnists (newspaper, magazine, whatevs) writing today.

2) RADAR (radarmagazine.com) — And we're only two issues in! Quite possibly the perfect magazine for the FOW Nation, this mag is equal parts snark, sass, and smarts. and just to make things interesting, they were kind enough to throw in a dash (okay, more like a cup!) of 'tude to round it out. from the opening issue where they called out DETAILS for being the gayest magazine, like, EVER (!) to the second issue's fascinatingly best look at The B-List Nation, this magazine has all of the makings of the best magazine ... of the next 12 months. I feel like this flame is going to burn out as quickly as it ignited, so buy up every feature while you can. Staff writers such as political ace Jake Tapper and Slate.com's former "Summary Judgement" columnist (and personal idol of mine) Emily Nussbaum can be counted on to deliver the goods, so get to gettin' while the gettin' is good!

1) VANITY FAIR (condenet.com/mags/vanityfair.com) — Let me begin by saying that it's NOT because of the Bynes cover (although that certainly does not hurt). VANITY FAIR is the belle of the ball when it comes to engaging, informative and all around delightful magazines. From the erstwhile charms of Editor-In-Chief Graydon Carter (patron saint of Gawker) to Dominick Dunne's continued excellence, VF continues to strike a perfect balance between celebrity puff pieces, in-depth features on the lives and times (and often ups and downs) of socialites, painstakingly well researched political articles and lush photography (not including that past-her-prime hack Liebovitz, obvs). While the magazine has had its ups and downs over the years (Gretchen Mol, anyone?), I still find it to be the most rewarding $18 that I spend all year. If you're not already a subscriber (or at least a monthly newsstand buyer), I highly recommend getting a subscription ... like pronto!

posted by uncle grambo |
Tuesday, June 17, 2003  

i guess this ISN'T growing up

you know, i thought it was totally rad when The Offspring declared that their next album would be called "Chinese Democracy." it was a sly (and well-deserved) jab at Axl for having told the media oh-so-many years ago that the next GnR album would bear that title ... lord knows that record will never see the light of day. but when I read this afternoon that Blink-182 recently announced that their next album was going to be called "Use Your Erection I and II", I officially decree that Mark, Travis and especially Tom have a terminal case of SARS. listen fellas, how long can you possibly play the "we're young, dirty, snotty alternapunks who are complete potty mouths" game? the answer is not this long. while "Enema" was best, "TOYPAJ" was worst. i guarantee November's release will blow chunks.

speaking of blowing chunks, someone who absolutely does NOT blow chunks is Justin Trousersnake, aka J. Timbo. apparently he played a semi-secret show at the House of Blues in Los Angeles last night, where he (and i quote) "passed around an invisible joint" during a performance of "Rock Your Body"!!! invisible joints, how best is that?!? he even changed the lyrics of the chorus from "So you blast to the left and you sail to the right" to "So you pass to the left and you pass to the right" while motioning the passing of said invisible joint! dude, Method Man and Redman got NUTHIN' on J. Timbo! and get this! he even busted in a "Bitch, why do you cry to me?" in his rendition of "Cry Me A River"!!! i know that i've gone a little nuts on the exclamation points here, but it's like SO necessary!!! all of a sudden the Justified / Stripped tour became a must-see. tix will be revealed. obvs.

posted by uncle grambo |

dissed and dismissed

open question to "big name" musicians everywhere: where's the love for Motown? lately, Motor City Music Fans have been completely overlooked by a lot of acts planning United States tours. for example, Coldplay only played Detroit on one out of the three legs of their recent US Tour, Mariah Carey dropped the previously planned Detroit date from her recently renovated "Charmbracelet" tour, and most disappointingly, Radiohead blatantly ignored Tha D on their highly anticipated North American tour. how in the eff can each one of these bands choose SARS infected Toronto over playing Detroit? where's the love!?! Durst!

more celebs revealed in attendance at Friday night's Coldplay performance at Madison Square Garden. this morning's Page Six reports that Woody Harrelson, hipster magician David Blaine, Esquire editor in chief David Granger, Knick Travis Knight and New York Ranger Darius Kasparaitis all shared a suite together at the famed venue. apparently the group post-partied at some place called Joe's Pub, while Damore, ConnieNYC and the rest of our crew post-partied at Beauty Bar and Bar 81. buzz!

featuring the Hilton Sisters!today seems to be the kind of day that abounds with wild celebrity duos gossip, some decidedly A-List and some decidedly C-List. if you're hip to the Hollywood A-List, you'll be interested to hear that lovebird psychos Nic Cage and Angelina Jolie are allegedly gettin' horizontal. howevs, if you're like me and are a bit more fascinated by the B and C-List celebs (EDITOR'S SIDENOTE: for more on the ascendancy of the B-List into mainstream awareness, check out the latest issue of Radar, on newsstands now), you'll be happy to know that Joey Buttafuoco is challenging OJ Simpson to a fist-fight, pay-per-view stizz. unfortch for pop culture freaks everywhere, no deal has been signed and no date has been announced. what HAS been announced, however, is tonight's World Premiere of "I'm With Busey" on Comedy Central. fire up your TiVos and get your remote controls ready, this series has Cult Favorite written all over it.

whatevs.org's fave movie columnist, Jeffrey Wells, recently reviewed "28 Days Later" and previewed "Kill Bill" over on Moviepoopshoot.com ... as for the highly buzzed about "28 Days Later", he calls it "a smart, imaginative, realistically absorbing thriller -- not terrifying in a buzzy, scream-in-the-dark fashion, but believably chilly and threatening every step of the way." and he also spoke to "Kill Bill" co-star Lucy Liu about the level of violence in the film, and she replied that Quentin Tarantino's latest "is SO violent [that] people will leave the movie theatre or get sick in the movie theatre. There's so much violence that it becomes not numbing, but almost comedic. There's a scene where there's so much violence that the color of the film goes into black and white, so that the blood looks like oil. It's cinematic...it's art." from these statements alone, it seems like both will end up high on the Grahammy Film Awards of 2K4.

arguably the person who received the most media attention from the Craq Baq On Iraq Campaign 2003 is Pvt. Jessica Lynch, who you'll recall was rescued from an Iraqi hospital during an elaborate mission in the middle of the night. or was she? today's Washington Post presents a highly detailed portrait of what they believe REALLY happened, sans the powerful PR spin of the United States Military. essential. (Link courtesy of Drudge)

posted by uncle grambo |

take a deep breath

you trembled when you first heard "Rattle & Hum." when Sony released Dylan's legendary "Royal Albert Hall Concert", you totally creamed in your jeans. you proudly display the Criterion Collection version of The Rolling Stones' "Gimme Shelter", yet curse the Hell's Angels and the havoc they wreaked on Altamont. The Who's "Live At Leeds"? it doesn't get much better. and perhaps most importantly, when Frampton came alive, you felt closer to Yahweh than ever before.

my friends, the time has come to usher in a new era of overall greatness (to quote the legendary David Palmer) in the era of the live rock and roll album. take everything that you knew and loved about them and hit Delete in the hard drive that is your brain. because today marks the release of a CD/DVD combination SO FIERCE, SO LOUD and SO FUCKING BEST EVER that i promise that it will make the lure of an Amanda Bynes Playboy pictorial seem as exciting as, well, a Carnie Wilson Playboy pictorial. behold, my friends, as your local record store today reveals...


overall greatness has been redefined

posted by uncle grambo |
Monday, June 16, 2003  

one year of obvs revealed

quietly over this past weekend, whatevs.org celebrated a very important day. though the site was technically born on January 6th of 2002, it was on June 14th, 2002 when I relaunched the site with the intentions of providing Piping Hot Content For Your Sexy Bod. and you, the loyal FOWs, seemed to enjoy this shift in a new direction. as the chart below will attest, the original FOWs were a small but passionate group of individuals to whom I owe all of the credit in the world. it was with their help (and in some instances, their own Piping Hot Original Content) that the site began to grow, word of mouth stizz, into the raging behemoth that it is today. as you are all aware, i got no advertising love (and certainly no budget to speak of), so the fact that the site's traffic has continued to grow each month (February notwithstanding for reasons that are obvs) is a testament to how obvs you all are. i cannot express how grateful i am that you continue to visit the site, contribute to the site, and tell friends about the site. i'm proud of the site and how it's grown, but more importantly, i'm generally thrilled that whatevs.org has grown into such a community of best everness. thank you to all of the FOWs, each and every one of you, but especially to the following FOWs who've contributed to the site's success over the past year in innumerable ways (in alpha order)¹:

APLarcadia, Big Matt, B.B. Fett, Buddy Lembeck, C Dubz, C Friggs, Coach Glinka, ConnieNYC, Damore, DJ John King, Dr. Em Medicine Woman, E Dubz, Frank McPicklebasket, FreebieGrabber, GKVibe, Glavzies, Greedo, Halle Berrywhite, Hanszie, H-Bomb, J Grizz, JenRio, JJ Canfield, JP McKrengels, JSassyP, JT Lancer, Kegzies, Kotoroboto, LesCal, M. Hudson Hawk, MacK 10, Makotomeme, Malbersblows, Mandypantalons, Manute Bol, Maya, Melody Licious, Miss Modernage, Mrs. Gorilla, Nessa, Nummer, Peabs, Pieps, Profeta, Rebecca Traister, Red Headed Slut, Ryan Karvola, Sarah W, Seantiz, Solo, StephDMB, Stereogum, Sully, The Giors, The Gorilla, The Grizz, The Lawrs, The Squirrel, T-Rob, VandenBest, Wartinsmooth, and WinkleBest.

so, in conclusion, thanks to all of you for one obvs tigs shatts boombalatts on yo mizz kind of a year. here's to many more, yo. obvs.

revealed by over 48,000 visitors

¹The disclaimer is as follows. With a list of this magnitude, it's entirely obvs that I have forgotten someone. Possibly dozens of people. Despite this unfortunate fact, please rest easy by knowing that your Uncle Grambo still loves you. I promise.

posted by uncle grambo |

brand new you're retro

while the buzz may be old, it's new to whatevs.org. staleness be damned. thanks to all of the FOWs (including but not limited to The Grizz, Nummer, JP McKrengels, Greedo and MacK10) who kept me in the loop last week with all of the goings-on in the world of pop culture. Damore and I were far too busy soaking up the culture in a week of inebriation that would make Shane MacGowan proud to ever stop off at a local Starbucks for some T-Mobile Hot Spot action. the only news I got was courtesy of my trusty cellphone, wireless web stizz. here's all the links that are fit to print from the last seven or so days...

on Monday and Tuesday in Chicago, the Monkeypox Outbreak was all the rage. in a mysterious turn of events, the governor of Illinois banned the disease that is spread by prarie dogs (and it looks like Michigan officials have also responded). while it looked for a few days that it might replace SARS as the Disease du Jour, the disease that refuses to lose buzz rebounded with a story in today's New York Times. the article focuses on the disease's widespread popularity on the web. and yes, in case you were wondering, that pun was intended. widespread ... get it? spread ... like a disease! you know, how diseases spread ... get it? i kill me. best.

wow, i'm a little rusty. when bad puns like that are revealed, you know it's time to post a link to shots of Avril Lavigne in a bikini.

ah, summer in New York smells like romance ... or was that just the garbage? either way, since I last wrote to y'all, Chris Martin and his Gawky Bird got engaged, not to mention the fact that various outlets are reporting that Zellweggs and Jack White are a hot item. for the White Stripes fans out there, just be glad that it's not Winona Rizz.

headline of the week. easy. Mandy Moore Picks Her Butt Double.

while my affection for Bynes has been well-chronicled, Neal Pollack apparently shares an affinity for another one of Vanity Fair's recent cover story stars ... on the recently redesigned Nealpollack.com, he reveals that he's now dating Hilary Duff!

if Jesse Ventura can become governor, why can't Sean from the Real World Boston become a Senator?

while Justin Trousersnake seemingly had no problems rockin' Segway buzz on the MTV Movie Awards, G Dubz took a spill on one over the weekend and the razzi was there to catch it. best!

damore's love interestwhile NME.com just revealed their mini-review of Coldplay's Friday night show at Madison Square Garden, what they didn't reveal is that Coldplay's second encore included a cover of Echo And The Bunnymen's "Lips Like Sugar". and while we're on the subject, Damore spent some time after the show chatting up Paula Marshall (star of television and film and pictured at left)! so much buzz! (NME link courtesy of Miss Modernage ... btw, if you read this, thanks for the link in your Blogroll!)

while I'll reveal more about the Fountains Of Wayne later, MTV.com profiles the band and their new video for "Stacy's Mom", which stars Rachel Hunter.

lest you think that I forgot about the happenings in D-Town while I was gone, it is important to note that Kim Mathers got busted for coke possession on I-94 and 12 Mile, Beyonce Knowles was plagued by bad sound quality at the Ford 100th Anniversary Bash (but the crowd was treated to a special guest appearance by Jay-Z!), and Motorcityrocks.com got the star treatment when The Grizz profiled the this supremely tigs site in The Detroit News. buzz cola!

posted by uncle grambo |

ell bees

does her rider include "dozens of cheeseburgers"? this one goes out to all of you who claimed that the prior X-Tina fatty boombalatty papparazzi snaps were Photoshopped. before and after stizz.

beforecalling carnie wilson

( pic on the left courtesy of The Sun, pic on the right courtesy of Stereogum and Catherine's Pita )

posted by uncle grambo |

Unprotected Hottness 2003

gawky birds. parker posey sightings. girls named Damizz. a girl named Moby. Richard Ashcroft resets. Madison Square Garden. medium wings at BW-3. Rupert G encounters. blue line bus stop tanning. missed connections with Mariah Carey. monkeypox outbreaks. all kindsa ConnieNYC and Malbersblows buzz. chance encounters with Paula Marshall. the W train to Astoria. matthew barney cremaster guggenheim action. broken digital cameras. Tom Green hosting Letterman. anorexic Evan Dando snaps. ticket scalping. rained out Yankees games. a bender that makes Yeltsin look like a teetotaler.

yes, all this and more will be detailed in the following days as your Uncle Grambo and Damore have made a triumphant return to the northern suburbs of Detroit after the whirlwind week that was the Unprotected Hottness 2003 tour. unfortch for me, i've got hundreds of unread emails that I've got to pour through and digest this morn, but obvs i'm gonna find some time to get a few posts in. until then, i leave you this pic of when the Unprotected Hottness 2003 Tour crossed paths with the Fountains Of Wayne in Chicago.

stacy's mom has got it goin' on

posted by uncle grambo |
"I started out with a lot of Audioslave or anything Chris Cornell -- it helped with the aggression. And Chris Webber from the [Sacramento] Kings. There's a real sweetness behind his eyes, but he's pissed off."
Brad Pitt on the sources of inspiration for his character in "Troy"
be like mark

loretta lynn - van lear rose


king of new york (special edition)


john kennedy toole - a confederacy of dunces

adventures w/disposable income
date: 5.8.04
source: CVS
amount: $19.48
(1) liter of Captain's
(2) liters of DC w/lime
(1) mother's day card

snl season 29
by Nummer & H-Bomb
where's grambo?
may 10: the strokes @ state theatre
may 15: cardigans @ magic stick
may 17: softball league @ 8:30pm
may 17: last tourist @ small's (10pm)
may 24: softball league @ 6:10pm
may 27: sea ray / stills @ st. andrews
june 6: dido @ fox theater
june 7: softball league @ 7:20pm
june 14: softball @ 6:10pm
june 19: jessica's graduation party
june 21: softball @ 8:30pm
june 28: softball @ 6:10pm
july 3 - july 11: vacation @ TBD
july 12: softball @ 7:20pm
july 19: softball @ 7:20pm
july 26: softball @ 9:40pm
august 2: softball @ 7:20pm
august 14: nuptial buzz w/c friggs + lescal!!!
october 23: nuptial buzz w/the grizz + mandypants!!!
twenty word reviews
van helsing
walking tall
scooby doo 2: monsters unleashed
dawn of the dead
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
starsky & hutch
girl next door
re-imagines "Risky Business" with Vivid Girls instead of prostitutes; marks Elisha Cuthbert's arrival as an alluring, big screen sex symbol.
Despite the best efforts of TrachtenBest, suffers greatly from a lack of forward momentum (scriptwise) and some remarkably bland casting
along came polly
aside from Philip Seymour Best Ever's performance ("RAIN DANCE!"), I vastly preferred this when it was called "Dharma And Greg."
search THIS!

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