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piping hot content for your sexy bod
Friday, April 11, 2003
ladies and germs, whatevs.org is taking a much needed break today. i'm going to enjoy the sunshine, do my taxes and clean my apartment (though not necessarily in that order). i'll be back with more piping hot content on Monday. hopefully see you at Gardener tonight...
but because I just can't leave you hangin' on the telephone, I'll leave you with one piping hott link. i bet you never thought that ESPN's uber-baseball nerd Peter Gammons would ever make a Morrissey reference, did ya? think again!
(thanks to Glavzies for the link!)posted by uncle grambo |
Thursday, April 10, 2003
it's quiz time for the FOWs. spot the differences in the "Maid In Manhattan" dvd artwork and win a prize that's TBD but guaranteed to be hott! first comment with the correct answer wins!
(obvs props to The Grizz for pointing this out and to Davis for initially revealing!)posted by uncle grambo |
so remember when you were a kid and you would accompany one of your parents out on a trip to the bank? in the pre-ATM days, banks used to be hellacious places to visit, especially as a kid. the lines were always hella long and you had to be very, very quiet or risk a public smackdown. those long, velvet-y type ropes were usually fun to play with for a few minutes; you'd unhook and then re-hook them a few times, seeing if you could reposition their poles without anyone noticing. and if your Mom had a pen in her purse, you could always use those deposit slips to doodle or make mini-paper airplanes. but more often than not, the banks were crowded and not exactly kid-friendly. that is until you reached the front of the line. like a shining beacon of best, there was always a bowl filled with Dum Dum suckers waiting for you. but what flavor should you choose? after all, you want a just reward for your patience in such an unradical place to be. do you go for a sure thing flavor like cherry or grape? maybe if you were feeling a little experimental you'd try something off-beat like root beer or watermelon. but if all that waiting had driven you insane in the membrane, chances were that you went for the hit-or-miss "Mystery" pop. this was like the Dave Kingman of lollipops. either you were going to hit a home run with a strawberry or fruit punch or you'd completely strike the eff out and end up with some skank ass flavor like pineapple or pina colada. it was always a risky decision to represent "Mystery", but those who pulled it off successfully knew that there was no better thrill out there.
dum dums. best.posted by uncle grambo |
it's been awhile since any hot new couples have emerged (well at least since JP McKrengels and E-Dubz). but now it looks like Cupid might be getting bizzay with Nicole Kidman and Jim Carrey (as reported by Rush & Molloy), not to mention Brit Brit and multi-millionaire owner of the Sac Kings / The Palms Casino Gavin Maloof (as also reported by Rush & Molloy). since these things come in threes, maybe the chances of an Uncle Grambo / Bynes hook-up aren't completely out of the question!
on the eve of their tour with The Cramps, whatevs.org faves The Gore Gore Girls are profiled in this week's Metro Times. there has been much talk of heading over to Alvin's tomorrow night post-Gardener to check out Miss Melody Licious and the rest of the GGG's ... rumour has it that the ladies hit the stage sometime after midnight. pure hottness!
proving that being WT never really goes out of fashion, this morning's Freep has a big feature on the role of boudoir photography in times of war. mad Glamour Shots buzz. straight up wurst of all-time. almost enough to turn a dude mo.
and maybe it's just me, but after reading this month's Wired, i'm totally geeched for the upcoming WiFi revolution. my old skool HP is a piece of crap, so I'm thinking of trying to sell that beeyatch and go pure wireless stizz. allz i got to figure out is how to transfer my 20 gigs of MP3's from that 'puter ... sounds like my tax return is gonna end up turning into an iPod!posted by uncle grambo |
even though the next issue of Rolling Stone is defiled by the presence of Wurst Charlotte on the cover, there appears to be some White Stripes buzz within. check it.
posted by uncle grambo |
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
well well well. according to Soundscan figures released a few hours ago, The White Stripes will debut at #6 on next week's Billboard Album charts, a very impressive feat anyway you look at it. Jack and Meg Whizz moved over 125,000 copies of "Elephant" on pure buzz alone, seeing as how "Seven Nation Army" just cracked the Modern Rock Top 10 this week. coupled with the fact that they have yet to release a video for any of the songs on the album, color Uncle Grambo mega-impressed. good shizz.posted by uncle grambo |
whatevs.org has been very fortunate to have worked with some of the greatest writing talents of our time. The Giors, The Squirrel, Nummer and The H-Bomb and many other distinguished writers have taken the time to contribute columns for this illustrious blog. and while they're all talented in their respective ways, not a single one of them stands 7'7". and that's why Manute Bol is best evs. he emailed me this contribution earlier today. i hope you enjoy his tales of being blackballed in Hollywood as much as I do...
posted by uncle grambo |
posted by uncle grambo |
i saw Kelly Clarkson on MTV Spring Break and she looked NOTHING like the UltraHottie in the photos directly above. just goes to prove that photogs can work miracles with Photoshop.posted by uncle grambo |
is it just me or does Harry Potter look like he's going to a rave instead of a DVD release party? he's totally sorted for e's and whizz! not to mention the fact that Ron Weasley looks like puberty smacked him upside the head (total goon buzz) and Hermione looks like she's well on her way to becoming the British version of Bynes!
posted by uncle grambo |
i would imagine that everyone who visits this website has allegiances (whether spoken or not) to certain bands. the kind of allegiances where you feel almost gravitationally pulled to your local record store anytime they come out with new product. i used to have TONS of these allegiances, but as i creep closer and closer to 30 (it's bizarre admitting that in print, even though it's a full 20 months away), i am finding that a lot of these allegiances are beginning to break. but there are a few bands / artists that I just know that I'm going to stick with through the thick and the thin. cowboy junkies? check. morrissey? check. springsteen? obvs. add you can officially add Yo La Tengo to that list.
for quite a long time, YLT occupied similar space in my mind with a band like Mission of Burma or NRBQ ... although they had garnered lots of alterna-press and had achieved indie-icon status, I never knew anyone who owned any of their records and I never felt inspired enough by what I read to go out and make a purchase. but that all changed in 1994 when I lived in the infamous Bagel Factory Apartments in Ann Arbor with Wartinsmooth, Stockwell and Sully. this is where i first heard YLT, specifically the stripped down acoustic version of "Tom Courtenay" on the Camp Yo La Tengo" EP. i discovered this EP in Stockwell's collection and secretly listened to it for weeks, soaking up its gentle, camp-fire style. then when I decided to give Wart's copy of "Electr-O-Pura" a spin, I was amazed to discover how shockingly different (and BEST!) it was. whereas the EP was filled with sleepy, acoustic ballads, "Electr-O-Pura" was filled with songs that were simultaneously crunchy, loopy, and droned out. i remember hearing a lot of feedback and really liking it. so in that fall of 1994, i started a relationship with that band that has continued to grow through the years. "i can hear the heart beating as one" and "...and then nothing turned itself inside out" followed as full-lengths, not to mention at least a half dozen EPs here and there, all with their own merits. then yesterday saw the release of "Summer Sun", which seems to follow a similar path as "...and then nothing" upon the first listen. but the thing about YLT albums is that you are always underwhelmed on the first four or five listens; their music is the kind that tends to burrow itself in your heart and in your head over the course of weeks and sometimes months. i say best.
and imagine how happy I was this morning to flip over to The Village Voice and see that my all-time fave music critic, Robert Christgau, has an interview / review with YLT in this week's issue. for anyone who hasn't heard the band's music, Christgau's comparison of YLT with Sonic Youth (both are fronted by long-married couples) is a good introduction to their unique and "friendly" approach to making music:
"Kim and Thurston long ago set themselves up in loco parentis. They're scene-shaping guardians of new talent, role models from above—sexy-cool, nice but also fierce—and musically, even their lyrical late albums are edged with coldness and intellection. Though only a few years their junior, Georgia and Ira are shy kids by comparison—friendly, fuzzy, cuddly, affectionate. They sound like they want to be your pals, with Ira always gabbing—on the new album, he offers "to take questions for you"—and Georgia laid back. Their use of postpunk noise, which goes back to mid-'80s beginnings that also just barely postdate Sonic Youth's, verges on decorative ... (their vocal style is) over on the spoken side of singing, they murmur rather than whisper, betraying not the slightest exertion as they follow the gentle contours of the tunes."
in other words, buzz.posted by uncle grambo |
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
( link via The Modern Age )
Artist: The Flaming Lipsposted by uncle grambo |
the white stripes debuted at #1 on the UK record charts.
pure hotness. Baetens interviews Adult. in The DetNews.
in preparation for Friday's release of "House of 1,000 Corpses", The New York Times interviews Rob Zombie.
top notch film writer David Edelstein raves about "Three Kings" in this Sunday's NYT. in the interview, director David O. Russell reveals that the goverment taps his phone calls!
this weekend's NYT also features an interview with the authors of "The Hipster Handbook."
ever wondered what it would've been like to be invited to Paris Hilton's 21st birthday party at Studio 54? well wonder no more.
speaking of the patron saints of Glamorama, some wiseacre hipster has created an utterly hilarious fake blog based upon their adventures...
last but not least, my nominee for the least relevant wire story to ever be printed in a local newspaper goes to today's DetNews for their feature on Lisa Loeb. hmmm. picked up from The Baltimore Sun. why?posted by uncle grambo |
Monday, April 07, 2003
drudge revealed some straight up hooker stizz!
SARS linked to sex disease (courtesy of The Courier Mail)
dude, is there anything worse than a 4-letter disease? SARS? wurst! SIDS? crib death just ain't as hott as it used to be. AIDS? totally Durst.posted by uncle grambo |
everyone here at whatevs.org would like to wish Damore "Good Luck" in tonight's final vs. Syracuse! at left, you'll a photo of Demizz from Saturday night's game versus Marquette, looking quite sexxxy if I do say so myself (everyone loves a man in unifizz!). on the rizz, a photo from his epic Throwdown (avec Peabs, obvs).
posted by uncle grambo |
it is with great pleasure that I can report that Amanda Bynes proved herself worthy of all the whatevs.org hype with the $12MM opening of "W.A.G.W" at this weekend's box office, good for a second place finish. however, the real story of the weekend is that this weekend will always be remembered as the time when Colin Farrell officially became a movie star. "Phone Bizz" opened up #1 at the box office with an estimated $15MM in receipts and a very stellar $6,056 per screen average. while everyone already knew that the Lusty Leprechaun would be a superstar of the gossip rags for months and possibly years to come, no one was really quite sure whether or not all of that gossip-y pub would turn out to be a blessing or a curse for the star in America's heartland. well now it appears that the Demi and Britney affairs turned out to be the best thing that could've happened to him, as the movie was purely sold and marketed on his (unproven) star power i find it hard to believe that anyone bought a "Phone Booth" ticket to see Forrest Whitaker. and for all my Farrell bashing a few months back, I somehow find myself throwing out props in his general direction. never thought I'd say it, but Farrell's got buzz. BIG TIME!
in a related note, it's also now official that Vin Diesel has no buzz. even though "XXX" grossed well over $100 mills last summer and likely ended up being modestly profitable for Sony, everyone knows that it was a major flop. this weekend's opening of "A Man Apart" (estimated at $11 mills) proves that while Diesel can still probably continue to eek out some buzz as an Action Star™, America will utter a collective "yawn" if his movie doesn't feature fast cars or explosions (putting both together is preferable). while Vin still has the best voice evs, he will quickly find himself demoted to Hollywood's B-List, straight up second-guy-off-the-bench-stizz. obvs.
UPDATE: Just read an interesting perspective on Vin Diesel from The Hot Button's Dave Poland. He doesn't close the books on Diesel just yet, but acknowledges that his management team has a fight on their hands. you can find the rest of the column by clicking through ...
"The final resting place of A Man Apart aka Diablo aka Shockingly Bad Crap managed an $11.3 million estimate, which means the film might gross $25 million, which is a big win for the company that took a bath on Knockaround Guys, Simone and Willard in recent months. This should have been the worst balance sheet moment for the studio this year. But with this opening, it looks they’ll get within pissing range of the old black ink on this one. Nonetheless, Vin Diesel’s audience might be getting a little cranky about now. And we have more than a year to go before we see Riddick. Here’s some friendly advice, baldy… do a Friends arc… get a four show slot as Martin Crane’s new caretaker on Frasier, got on The West Wing as a something or another… I can write the lead on half the features on Riddick based on where things are now. “Two years ago, he looked like he had the entire world by the short hairs… now he’s a big, bald question mark.” This is when your management will earn (or lose) their 15 percent."posted by uncle grambo |
for those of us unfortunate enough to be stuck in Tha D, now we all realize that there's nothing worse than Springing Forward straight into a snowstorm. and since your Uncle Grambo doesn't want your Monday morning to be SARS, I proudly present the following hottness to you ...