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Friday, November 11, 2005
SNL Season 31 ... REVEALED!If there's one thing about the promos that NBC ran all summer long touting the launch of "My Name Is Earl", it's that they were mind-blowingly annoying. So annoying, in fact, that your Uncle Grambo refused to even watch the show. But as the weeks rolled by, and the critical kudos started piling up, I decided to take in an episode on a rainy Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago.
And, wouldn't you just know it, the show is actually good! And I'm not the only one who thinks so; Nielsen has the show ranked just outside of the Top 10 shows among the 18-49 demographic. If you haven't caught an episode yet, your Uncle Grambo suggests setting up the DVR next week. Give it a shot, you won't be disappointed.
As to be expected, NBC is trying to do their best to drive this show's ratings even higher by tapping Jason Lee to host "SNL" this weekend. Let's check in with Nummer and H-Bomb to see how they think he'll fare in this role.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005 Jennifer Aniston: The Highly Exclusive Terry Lawson InterviewOooh! Wow! Lookie lou! The Freep's own Terrible Lawson managed to score a phone interview with JENNIFER ANISTON (and Clive Owen)!!! Yes, that's right, A PHONER! Can YOU believe IT? All you Metro Detroiters just ITCHING to find out if Jen confided in Terrible Terry about her dalliances with Vincent Van Vaughn (which I'm sure she did!) will have to wait until Friday's edition of The Freep hits newsstands. I, for one, can't hardly wait. CAN'T HARDLY WAIT!
Clinton Portis ... the new Kool Keith?
Dumplings. Cut. Box. CRAZED! `Specially them Dumplings.
Remember the "Just Say Yes" series of CDs that Sire put out in the late `80s and early `90s? You know, the ones that featured a shitload of Mozzer and Mode and Erasure remixes right alongside tracks by the likes of Mighty Lemon Drops, Book Of Love and The Ocean Blue? If so, check it: Just Say Sire. Best. Box Set. Ever! For those that don't have a spare $59 lying around, it's more likely worth your while to read the Pitchfork review, in which the author debates what the "real" alternative music of the 1980s was.
Lara Logan ... universally revered. Best hott journo chick since Melissa Stark.
The video for Coldplay's next single, "Talk", was shot by Anton Corbijn. Brace yourself for the shock of a lifetime ... IT WAS SHOT IN BLACK & WHITE! Quite an artistic stretch, if you ask me.
Looks like your Uncle Grambo will be making the trek to Lakeside Mall for the first time since they got rid of the HydroTube when H&M opens in Spring 2006.
In closing, for your Uncle Grambo's money, the story of Paris Hilton's new boy toy paying some homeless dude a cool hundy to pour a giant soda all over himself wins the award for Best Tabloid Story Of The Month. Maniacally evil and obscenely rich dudes haven't had this much buzz since Steff tried to pork Andie in "Pretty In Pink" ... robvs! posted by Uncle Grambo |Four More Shmears!WDIV Channel 4 was wrong. WXYZ Channel 7 was wrong. Even Rob Theakston was wrong. In the end, it was Tim Kiska and Fox 2 Detroit who were the first to correctly report the results of last night's election, in which Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick laid the smack down on Freman Hendrix and won four more years worth of living the T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E on Detroit taxpayers' dollars. Worst.
How on Yahweh's green Earth did this happen? After all, Hendrix whomped Kwame in the August primaries by almost 10 points! While I'm sure this is a story that will be written in the days and weeks to come, at the end of the day, it comes down to this: Detroit loves its underdogs and doesn't trust its media. Not one single major newspaper, television or radio station publicly endorsed the incumbent mayor and Kwame STILL won by 6 points. Redonkulous. Posse up, y'all ... it's gonna be a bumpy ride for The D™ after the Super Bowl passes through town and the money and energy moves elsewhere.
Detroit ... some say dunzo. posted by Uncle Grambo |Tuesday, November 08, 2005 ElectioneeringElection Day. Sort of a mixed bag, if you ask your Uncle Grambo. While I'm kinda pissed that I don't get a vote in the city which takes 1.5% of my pre-tax salary on the 15th and 30th of every month, it's never a bad thing to have a no strings attached day off from work. Word.
But for those of you who ARE Detroit city residents, today is the day. Today is the day where you get to pick the man who's going to run the city that you live in and the city that your Uncle Grambo works in for the next four years. If you listen to The Detroit Free Press, that man should be Freman Hendrix. If you listen to The Detroit News, that man should also be Freman Hendrix. But while the polls and the media have clearly been on the side of Hendrix throughout the course of this race, anyone who has ever taken a high school Civics class knows that you can NEVER underestimate the power of an incumbent.
While I don't normally delve into the world of politics, I thought that I would turn the floor over to Rob Theakston this A.M. to get his thoughts on what might very well turn out to be the most important mayoral election The D™ has during our lifetimes. Take it away, Rob:
Monday, November 07, 2005 Logan InternationalSo there I was last night, nursing a bottle of the Champagne of Beers whilst
marinating on the couch. Up to that point, it had been a relatively normal Sunday; your Uncle Grambo rose around 10, stretched, spent an hour with Russert, paid witness to another crushing (yet unsurprising) Lions defeat, then dozed off afterwards to reminisce the days where Barry Sanders made motherfuckers miss each and every Sunday. I finally stirred somewhere in the neighborhood of 1900 hours. Then, as is customary in my household, when the clock strucketh 7pm, the cable doth got switched to CBS ... after all, it's "60 Minutes" time.
It was there and then, dear FOWs, that I saw the future of television news. As I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, I was dazzled to see the very vision of beauty on my telly where the harrowing visage of Lesley Stahl should've been. Just as the high speed electrons emitting from the heated cathode of my WEGA's vacuum tubes burned an image on my TV screen, Lara Logan's undeniably riveting countenance and PROPER British accent were emblazoned upon my brain. But just as I began to conjure images of this delightfully naughty strumpet munching on crumpets, I thought of Tom Grunick. Surely, Lara Logan is just a pretty face, right?
Not. So. Much. You see, Lara helmed what this viewer felt was a surprisingly powerful story on how US Armed forces deal with the daily dangers on Airport Road in Baghdad. In the place of the kind of celebrity puff pieces that the "60 Minutes" crew has acquiesced to running in the wake of Don Hewitt's departure, it was refreshing as all get out to see a young-ish filly (looking for the world like a less-gummy Liz Phair) participating in night raids on insurgent strongholds and walking right ALONGSIDE US soldiers as they disarmed road bombs -- all the while rocking short sleeves and truly sensational cleavage. Holy crapballs, we've NEVER seen Diane Sawyer do this! If she would've been sporting a pair of 9mms and some Daisy Dukes, this viewer would've SWORE that Lara Croft herself changed her last name to Logan. In addition to all that, she's got the kinda steely nerve and get-you-off-your-game hottness (made doubly dangerous by her naughty librarian type of voice) that allows her to render men almost instantaneously indefensible and willing to answer and every question, no matter how incriminating¹.
Good show, CBS. My only question to the uppers at CBS is this: why have you been hiding this sensationally brainy British beauty all this time? As Hova once sang, isn't it time to "Bring 'em out / bring 'em out / bring 'em out"? Here's to more Logan and less Bradley in the future.
¹ Example: last night, she got Lt. Col Geoffrey Slack's to actually say "My wife wouldn't want you to hear this, but..."! Brills murray! posted by Uncle Grambo | |
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