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Friday, October 11, 2002  


seven and the ragged tiger. strangeways, here we come. the boy with the arab strap. sticky fingers. the wild, the innocent and the e street shuffle. little earthquakes. as nasty as we wanna be. nine tonight. power, corruption and lies. parallel lines. (uncle grambo)

This Isn't It. Even Worse. Music From the Motion Picture Blue Crush. The Unauthorized Biography Of Reinhold Messner. When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He’ll Win the Whole Thing ‘Fore He Enters the Ring There’s No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won’t Matter, Cuz You’ll Know That You’re Right. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. Aoxomoxoa. 12 Golden Country Greats. Paintin' the Town Brown. (nummer)

10 from 6. laid. bedtime stories. ou812. i'm the DJ, you're the rapper. the cactus album. paul's boutique. (kinky glinky)

let's get it on. license to ill. Apocalypse 91...The Enemy Strikes Black. 19 Naughty III. high voltage. girls girls girls. (the lawrs)

foxbase alpha. the unforgettable fire. catholic boy. dog man star. the head on the door. kicking against the pricks. geek the girl. doppelganger. ladies and gentleman we are floating in space. am I not your girl? (MacK 10)

It Takes a Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back. Strangeways, Here We Come. Love & Theft. Exile On Main Street. The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society. The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan. 50,000,000 Elvis Fans Can't Be Wrong. Good Old Boys. Darkness On the Edge Of Town. Parklife. Eat a Peach. Kick Out the Jams. American Beauty. Life's Rich Pageant. Fear of a Whatevs.org Planet. (connienyc)

Believo! Geogaddi. Vespertine. The Sound of the Colour of the Sun. New Wave Hot Dogs. Whole Oats. (h-bomb)

Under the Table and Dreaming. Living With Ghosts. Lost and Gone Forever. Check Your Head. In Light Syrup. Violator. Sketches for My Sweetheart the Drunk. (DaBest)

the standalone sensor. why didn't you ask why? jesus and the iron tyrannosaurus. astrogirl, revisited. my computation notebook. i'm glad we stuck together. you can't be neutral on a moving train. the resonance of distance. a chrome green. proximity's surprise. (APLarcadia)

kittenz & thee glitz. portrait of a marathon. pinkerton. yankee hotel foxtrot. a storm in heaven. bitches brew. magical mystery tour. (peabs)

Double Nickels on the Dime. All Samples Cleared. Emperor Tomato Ketchup. POWER IN NUMBERS. Love Deluxe. Suzuki. Spelunking. A Go-Go. 'Til Shiloh. As Kosher as They Wanna Be. (GKV)

rum, sodomy and the lash. after the gold rush. modern life is rubbish. slanted and enchanted. blue train. darklands. leftism. never mind the bollocks here's the sex pistols. building nothing out of something. the beatles. (koto)

London O Hull 4. Songs in the Key of Life. Love is Hell. Pills 'N' Thrills and Bellyaches. Bucky Fellini. Revenge is Sweet, and So Are You. (glavzies)

louder than bombs. blue wonder power milk. pet sounds. romantica. stoned & dethroned. taking drugs to make music to take drugs to. among my swan. i can hear the heart beating as one. (uncle grambo)

posted by uncle grambo |

i love ranch

some people are inspired by religion. others by money. others by power. still others by fame. the top-notch FOW who goes by the nickname of Mandypantalons is inspired by...ranch dressing. yes, ranch dressing. if you have a Ranch experience to share, you can send her an email at iloveranch@hotmail.com. until then, please enjoy this delightful fable of the recent Ranch experience Mandypantalons had, an event so spectacular that she brought the iloveranch@hotmail.com email address out of retirement. enjoy!

From: "Mandy Pantalons"
To: markdgraham@yahoo.com
Subject: iloveranch@hotmail.com is back
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 2002 11:46:21 -0400

Hello fellow ranch lovers:

I'm back after a looooonng break. I have a quick ranch experience to share:

Let's face it, as lovers of ranch we determine where we will eat on whether or not the restaurant has ranch and whether or not it is any good. Recently though, I added another category: is the ranch easily accessible/freely flowing? I'm finding more and more that restaurants (fast food) are charging a fee for extra ranch. This is highly irritating and discouraging for those of us who need approximately 15 ranches to complete a meal. The question I ask myself these days is where can I get as much ranch as I need for a bargain? Well, fellow ranch lovers, I have an answer: Fuddruckers. For those of you who know about Fuddruckers, why didn't you share this information before? And for those of you who don't, I'll fill you in.

Fuddruckers, where one will find the "World's Greatest Hamburgers," also has the world's most easily-accessible vat of ranch. Fuddruckers is a psuedo fast food operation where diners order food, wait, get it with no toppings and then dress it themselves. It's loud, bright and fattening. After the food is up, you go through a cafeteria-style line reminiscent of the Towers Dining Hall. They have your typical lettuce, tomato and onions and then they have your condiments. The condiments are housed in the pump dispensers similar to those at the fancy McDonald's locations, but there is one main difference; they're HUGE! Like, I almost needed a step stool to reach the pump. Anyway, as I was strolling through the line I passed the ketchup (normal), mustard (normal), bb-q sauce (hey, this place is great), hot cheese (whoa, boo-ya!), and then labeled so small that I almost passed it without taking advantage of it, there was a tub of ranch with a pump on it! And, sitting next to it were little baby plastic containers with lids to put it in! perfect for dipping. And, the main draw, YOU CAN GET AS MANY RANCHES AS YOU WANT! (By the way, I wouldn't be writing about this ranch if it wasn't good.)

This is the kind of ranch I've been dreaming about, good taste, great texture, FREELY FLOWING. It doesn't get much better when you're dealing with fast-food and nearly fast-food restaruants. All the ranch you want, no extra charge. And, if you're like me, you can pack a few ranches to store in your company's fridge in case of an emergency. Friends, I'm telling you....go to your nearest Fuddruckers immediately. Don't try McDonald's, we all know that their ranch is 35 cents. Don't stop at Burger King, their ranch is pricey and we now know that the fat-free rumor we heard is not true. Wendy's, now they have Hidden Valley, but still, 50 cents for an extra. Stop at Fuddruckers. If you don't have one, come visit me, I have one 1/2 mile down the road from my office. yipppeeee!

Friends, please share with me. Is this normal? Do you know of other locations that have self-serve ranch machines? Please share your thoughts on this concept.

posted by uncle grambo |

leo vs. leo

the always spectacular Kim Masters of the Los Angeles Times has a fab piece in this morning's edition about the staring match between DreamWorks and Miramax and their dueling Leonardo DiCaprio projects. film geeks like me and anxious studio execs have been sweating the December 25 release date of both Steven Spielberg's "Catch Me If You Can" (which also stars Tom Hanks) and Martin Scorsese's "Gangs of New York" (also starring Daniel Day-Lewis and Cameron Diaz) for months. you see, when studios release movies with similar actors/themes too close to one another, moviegoers have long established that they will only pick one to spend their cash on (think "Mission to Mars" vs. "Red Planet", think "Volcano" vs. "Dante's Peak"). well, it turns out that Miramax blinked and has decided to move up the release of "Gangs" to a yet-to-be-determined weekend in early December. this doesn't alleviate the fact that two Leo movies are opening within weeks of each other, with both flicks are being counted on to provide serious cashflow to their respective studios' bottom-lines. who will emerge the winner? well "Gangs" certainly has more buzz, but it is highly doubtful that a challenging and violent film like Scorsese has allegedly made will translate into boffo box office. "Catch" doesn't have any buzz (no one has seen it yet), but the team of Spielberg / Hanks / DiCaprio is not to be messed with when it comes to star power. let's face it, both are going to be tigs. any pic with Leo has got my vote -- he's hands down the best actor of our generation. but if I was down to my last $8.50 and had to pick between the two, "Gangs" would get my support. obvs.

posted by uncle grambo |
Thursday, October 10, 2002  

little babies gonna go home and cry to momma...

wartinsmooth, you should be ashamed of the sissy punks walking the halls of your alma mater these days. apparently 10 Rochester High School seniors quit the Varsity football team because their coach swore at them and got in their face. what a bunch of whiny losers! team captain Dave Malson is quoted as saying "(Head Coach Mark Merlo) talked about my best friends, calling them awful and how they sucked." well DUH! that's just what coaches do! ever heard of motivation by intimidation? this once again proves my theory that Rochester residents who live south of Walton suck!

oh yeah, in case you were wondering, the Rochester Adams Football Team is ranked #3 in the state. obvs. no whiners are allowed in the hallowed halls of AHS!

posted by uncle grambo |

friday friday friday

posted by uncle grambo |
Wednesday, October 09, 2002  

die another day

die another day

posted by uncle grambo |

reader retort: defending the daily

i hope that by this time you already know that i love each and every one of you FOWs out there like you're my own children. but, as with every parent, you always have your favourite child. in this case, mine has got to be the multi-talented FOW known as The Gorilla. not only is he prolific in his responses to posts on whatevs.org, but his retorts are consistently thoughted and well-constructed. here is The Gorilla's response to my post on the recent plight of The Michigan Daily:

Subject: Michigan Daily
Date: Wed, 9 Oct 2002 09:07:20 -0400
From: "The Gorilla"

A quick comment on the Daily, realizing I’m hardly impartial, I worked there and my brother is the music editor there now.But here’s the skinny.

First off, I went to both State and Michigan, as did my brother. There is no comparing the State News to the Daily. Its like comparing the Impact to Cool Hits 107 (well, not that bad). The State News news isn’t bad, but their features, and columnists are pretty weak (at least when I was there) – they also had an ugly, very high schoolish layout too which is a pet peave. The Daily isn’t great, but generally its better than the State News.

Second, the Daily is probably one of the most liberal papers in Michigan, I know, I wrote a good deal of the editorials for two years. The minority protests are nothing new, and really it’s a reflection of how liberal the campus is and a desire by many young people to engage in social protest and having no “institutions” to protest, because the institutions agree with them already.

When I was an editor at the Daily, the Latino student group Alianza led a protest march against us and then stormed our offices and took over our production room to try and shut us down (we calmly left and wrote the paper at Angell Hall). Now it’s a very similar thing. Students now (as then) are protesting the lack of minority staff at The Daily – a fact, its pretty much WASPs and Jews, with a few Indians, Asians and usually not more than a couple blacks or Hispanics. This of course doesn’t affect the editorial policy of the daily, minority issues and events receive ample coverage and the Daily staunchly supports affirmative action as does the University (quite possibly the strongest national advocate for affirmative action). The Daily even trys to recruit minority students directly, going to African American studies classes, minority student groups, etc. and inviting people to come check out the Daily and try writing. It's rarely successful, possible because the of the chicken/egg syndrome, “I don’t feel comfortable being the only minority there/ there won’t be any minorities there unless people pave the way”, it's also partly reverse racism and occasionally blatant anti-semitism as a good deal of the staff and editor are typically jewish (Mike Rosenburg who writes sports for the Free Press was one of my editors-in-chief).

posted by uncle grambo |

kinky glinky and jillycakes

step aside Emeril. hey Nigella Lawson, back that azz up. Wolgang Puck can eat a D. Charlie Trotter -- you're okay...for now! any other aspiring restauranteurs, you better bring your A-game when Birmingham-based FOWs Kinky Glinky and Jillycakes come by your establishment. the staff at the restaurant Cucia Leone found this out the hard way on Tuesday when Detroit Free Press Food Writer Sylvia Rector's review of the new gourmet carryout eatery appeared with a veritable slam from these two aspiring Zagat busters. apparently these "avid restaurant goers and home cooks" who recently "moved from Chicago" (EDITOR'S NOTE: whatevs!) were anything but impressed with the food they got. i quote: "While they were delighted that Cucina Leone reminded them of Trotter's to Go and they liked the cooked-to-order concept, Chris Glinka said the prices seemed a bit high 'for a take-out place.' " oooooh SNAP! now that's a hardcore dis. looks like these two will be sticking with the tried-and-true places like Streetside, Forté and Beni-Best-Evs from now on...

posted by uncle grambo |

whatevs.org update

in between watching "things to do in denver when you're dead", "real world: las vegas" and "fm nation" last night, i spent some time making some much needed improvements to your beloved whatevs.org. i decided to begin with building an archive of Twenty Word Reviews; this is just the first part in a broad plan to vastly improve the Piping Hot Content that all the FOWs are clamoring for. i am about fifteen or so movies behind, and for that i greatly apologize. keep an eye out for reviews of films such as "8 mile", "igby goes down", "spirited away", "red dragon" and many more over the next few days. enjoy!

posted by uncle grambo |
Tuesday, October 08, 2002  

why marketing is the best profession in the world

if you work in the advertising or marketing profession and you don't already receive New York Times columnist Stuart Elliot's weekly email on the advertising industry, you are missing out on some classic stuff. this short synopsis of the most recent Burger King ad campaign was found in one of his recent columns and is pure genius. you know the campaign, the one where the talking menu board (voiced by Adam Carolla) appears in unlikely places (elevators, golf courses) chatting about BK's new 99-cent menu. what follows is the customer rationale behind the concept, as described by Deutsch LA's managing partner Eric Hirshberg...

"One of our early observations was that Burger King's primary competitors have various degrees of homespun, familial wholesomeness in their advertising, so Burger King can live in a different tonal universe, edgier and more youthful. We said to Burger King, 'If Wendy's and McDonald's are Ozzie and Harriet, you have the opportunity to be the Osbournes.

"The other observation we made, supported by listening to consumers, was that the heavy users of fast food, the 'fast-food black belts,' know every nuance of the menus of the different stores. They may not know the state capitals, but they know who has a 12-ounce drink and who has a 14-ounce drink. So we decided, let's get out of their way and talk straight to them."

how best evs is that? "fast food black belts"? pitching the suits at BK on becoming "the Osbournes" of the fast food industry? tell me that isn't the life, spending your days and nights thinking of breakthrough concepts on something as simple as selling a hamburger! best!

posted by uncle grambo |

the Magna Carta of press releases

originally revealed this afternoon by nummer, this is probably THE single greatest press release i have ever had the pleasure to read. and i say this with all sincerity...no joke. this press release does a MAGNIFICENT job in conveying everything you could possibly hope to convey: it has a great intro paragraph that builds interest, it goes to great lengths to describe the details of the actual pizza, it waxes enthusiastically about the passion and dedication of those who developed the 'Za, and it even includes some testimonials from highly regarded pizza makers! kudos to whoever does the PR for Pizza Hut, you deserve mad props. let this be a lesson to aspiring PR Execs all over (especially Detroit-based FOW Mandypantalons). now the only thing that's left is trying this bad boy. one thing you can be sure of, it's easily the best thing to happen to food since the P'Zone was introduced late last year. unfortunately for the Hut, howevs, is the fact that there is no way they'll ever be able to touch the pizza prestige of Chicago's My Pi. obvs.


After 10 Years, Pizza Hut Experts Cracked the Code on Creating an Authentic Chicago Pizza

DALLAS (September 30, 2002) - It took just eight years to land a man on the moon, five to discover a cure for polio and four to paint the Sistine chapel. But it took Pizza Hut, Inc., more than 10 years to perfect an authentic Chicago-style deep-dish pizza.

The Chicago Dish Pizza debuts nationally on September 27, and it marks the first time Americans across the country will be able to get their hands on - and forks into - an authentic Chicago-style pizza.

"The Chicago Dish Pizza is the first true Chicago-style pizza available nationally, and with the speed people expect from a Pizza Hut restaurant," said Leah Evans, senior vice president of research and development. "This is the pizza everyone has been waiting for. It took more than 10 years to get it right," she added.

Developing an authentic Chicago-style pizza that can be delivered quickly to table or door has been the holy grail of the pizza segment. Because real Chicago-style deep-dish pizza is so massive, it can take up to 45 minutes to prepare and cook. But, after years of development, the Pizza Hut team cracked the code. The company even has a patent pending on certain aspects of the pizza-making process.

Priced at $11.99, most markets, with up to three toppings or specialty combinations, The Chicago Dish Pizza marks another Pizza Hut "first" and underscores the company's tradition of innovation and value.

"Pizza Hut restaurants and consumers have been asking for a Chicago-style pizza for years," said Evans. "We could have done a Chicago-style pizza years ago if we had been willing to give up some of the attributes that make this dish authentic," she said. "We simply weren't willing to make compromises, so we had to come up with an original solution. The challenge was to create an authentic Chicago-style pizza and still be able to cook and serve this abundant pie without the typical 45-minute wait."

According to Evans, Chicago-style pizza is different from other pizzas: Chicago-style pizza has a flaky crust with tall sides. The dough is made with a hint of corn meal for taste and texture. The build of the pizza begins with a thick layer of sliced mozzarella cheese. It's filled with an abundance of toppings, shredded cheese and then chunky marinara sauce is poured on the top of the pizza.

While some Chicago pizzerias have variations or twists that are uniquely theirs, Pizza Hut executives researched the core attributes of an authentic Chicago pizza by spending time in the Windy City. The company also asked consumers in Chicago and elsewhere about their views. The result is a pizza that makes the grade with flying colors for taste and authenticity.

The Chicago Dish Pizza has sliced 100-percent mozzarella cheese and shredded cheese - more than twice the amount of cheese in a typical medium pizza. And customers are encouraged to load this pizza with toppings.

The marinara sauce is well seasoned and full of tomato chunks. The sauce is separately cooked and heated next to the pizza as it travels down the conveyor oven, which is one of the ways the Pizza Hut team achieved the cook-through in record time. For dine-in guests, the pizza is served at the table out of the pan and on a pedestal. Servers pour chunky marinara sauce on top of the pizza right at the table, and offer hand-grated cheese.

Delivery customers will find the sauce on top of the pizza, and they'll notice a new, deeper box to transport The Chicago Dish Pizza. And whether at home or in the restaurant, it requires a fork to eat it!

The Chicago Dish Pizza is the Real Deal

The Pizza Hut team invited Gale Gand, partner in the popular Chicago restaurant Tru and a North Shore native, to try The Chicago Dish Pizza. Although best known for her dazzling desserts, Gand knows her way around a pizza peel. Her experience includes working for three years in London with Bob Payton, who introduced Chicago-style pizza to Europe at his famed Chicago Pizza Pie Factory restaurant.

Gand was impressed with the authenticity of The Chicago Dish Pizza, the abundance of stringy mozzarella cheese, and the texture, taste and flakiness of the crust. Her favorite toppings were the traditional Chicago combination - Italian sausage, mushrooms and onions.

"The richness of the crust surprised me," said Gand. "It's light and flaky, almost like pastry. It's soft, but golden and slightly crispy on the outside. There's real craftsmanship to the way it's made," she added.

"It looks like a Chicago deep-dish pizza. It's loaded with toppings and lots of mozzarella cheese. I'm excited that Pizza Hut is bringing Chicago-style pizza to the rest of the country," said Gand. "Now everyone can fall in love with the dish that Chicago calls its own."

The Magic Combination of Innovation and Value

With the introduction of The Chicago Dish Pizza, Pizza Hut executives believe they have not only successfully solved the greatest pizza puzzle in recent history, but also are following in the tradition of doing what the company does best: combining innovation and value.

According to Evans, consumers have come to expect innovation and variety from Pizza Hut restaurants. "Our customers count on us to bring exciting new products with fresh, high-quality ingredients, attractive pricing and a fun dining experience. And we are committed to giving customers what they want and when they want it," she said.

The Chicago Dish Pizza launch, one of the company's most significant new product introductions, will be supported by national marketing and advertising campaign, including television, print and radio advertising, in-restaurant point of purchase materials and online initiatives.

About Pizza Hut
Pizza Hut Inc., a subsidiary of Yum! Brands, Inc. (NYSE: YUM), is the world's largest pizza restaurant company with almost 7,000 units in the United States and more than 4,000 units in 88 other countries. The company is the recognized leader in the $33 billion pizza category. Those hungry for more information can go to the official Pizza Hut web site at www.pizzahut.com.

posted by uncle grambo |

boycott the daily!

once again proving that A2 is fertile ground for anyone looking to complain about anything to drum up support, various student groups on campus are currently boycotting the Michigan Daily. according to some sort of formal petition that was filed, "The Michigan Daily has become a publication that manifests the institutional racism and ignorance that plague communities of color, and threatens the progress of the campus community at large." granted, i haven't read The Daily consistently since i left ann arbor just over a year ago, but it is difficult for me to imagine that the paper has really shifted that far to the right (let alone suddenly morphed into a Racist Mouthpiece) in such a short amount of time. when i was there, the paper never really excelled in anything other than the consistently difficult crossword puzzles which kept me awake during many a boring lecture, so i find it slightly implausible that the paper now excels in being racist. gimme a break. can anyone from A2 contribute anything to this discussion? friggs, what do you think? any comments from the brothers stevenson?

and as a last minute editorial on the Michigan student newspaper, i always thought that The Daily was a second-class citizen in comparison to The State News (except for the Sports section, which was usually pretty tigs). as far as worthwhile on-campus publications, i always got a kick out of reading The Serpent's Tooth, or whatever that satirical and mostly conservative freebie publication was called. and how obvs is Current? totally obvs.

posted by uncle grambo |

ray liotta has Oscar buzz

bet you never thought you'd hear "Ray Liotta" and "Oscar buzz" in the same sentence ever again, did you? well, it turns out that his latest role in the upcoming police thriller "Narc" has the critics talking. first to bang the Oscar drum is Hot Button columnist Dave Poland. i saw the trailer for this movie before "secretary" this weekend and it looks to be along the same lines as "Training Day". more buzz to follow...KAREN!

posted by uncle grambo |

definitely BEST!only in the pages of NME

NME.com visitors recently ranked their all-time favourite (note the "our" spelling) Oasis singles. in a semi-upset, "Live Forever" outscored heavy favourite "Wonderwall". the top 10 go as follows (in order): "Live Forever", "Don't Look Back In Anger", "Supersonic", "Wonderwall", "Whatever", "Some Might Say", "Cigarettes & Alcohol", "Stop Crying Your Heart Out" and "D'Ya Know What I Mean." While I could debate the merits of just about every Oasis single ever released, my own personal Top 5 would have to run in this order.

5) "Cigarettes & Alcohol" - Mercilessly stole from T Rex's "Bang A Gong" and somehow improved on it. When Liam sang "Have I finally found something worth living for?", I knew that I had finally found a band worth listening to.
4) "Rock 'n' Roll Star" - As the first track of their first proper album, it continues to be a defining statement about what the Brothers Gallagher were going to become, whether the world was ready for it or not.
3) "Champagne Supernova" - Where were you when we were getting high? Psychadelic and dazzling and brilliant...and as the last track on "What's The Story?", it sits as the last recorded moment before Oasis jumped the shark.
2) "Whatever" - Released in-between "Definitely Maybe" and "What's The Story, Morning Glory", this majestic and breathtaking song showed that Noel had bigger ambitions than ripping off T Rex and The Beatles. But more importantly, he had the talent to turn that ambition into greatness.
1) "Wonderwall" - Only outpaced by "Bittersweet Symphony" as the pinnacle achievement of the entire Britpop movement. Fucking classic.

posted by uncle grambo |
Monday, October 07, 2002  

what? and postpone the highly anticipated Episode 3 of "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter"? no WAY!

this headline just in from Reuters News Service -- Networks Pass on Coverage of Bush-Iraq Speech.

posted by uncle grambo |

somebody call immigration!

bolt the windows! lock the doors! shut down the INS! just...do...SOMETHING! he's coming back! 'Pinocchio' Whips Up Frenzy in Italy. aaaagh!


posted by uncle grambo |

reader retort

fast becoming the Andy Rooney of whatevs.org (by his own admission, not mine) is the FOW known as The Gorilla. today's rant revolves around the latest marketing gimmick that Jeff Bezos launched on the unsuspecting masses, The Amazon Gold Box...

What’s with the Amazon Gold Box?

If you’re not familiar with the Gold Box, it’s a series of discounted items that are available to you everyday (usually 10-15 things) to registered Amazon customers. You can only buy one deal a day, and you only have 1 hour to contemplate purchasing this item at the discounted price before its GONE FOREVER. It’s also the most random collection of shit ever assembled. Today I was offered:
--a weed wacker (Sure what ever, I wack all sorts of stuff, why not weeds)
--stainless steel calipers (in case I needed to caliperate something I guess)
--a HP calculator that appeared to be from 1986 (release bean counter within)
--a Magic Kitty Pink Persian stuffed toy, which is fun and prepares you for a life as a gay cat beautician
--a $64 clock radio so over done with features the Sharper Image said, “hey isn’t that a bit much?”
--drill bits to remove broken off screws (I can’t tell you how often my beefy guns crank down so hard on the old Philips I BREAK OFF THE HEAD OF SCREW)
--a “contractor grade” box cutter for the suicidal terrorists who finds exactos a bit flimsy
--Chardonnay wine glasses (do not operate with weed wacker)
--A $2000 (hey that’s an $855 savings) Generac Portable Products 1339 10,000 Watt Electric Start Generator, because you know sometimes Edison gets stingy with the old watts and volts
--And finally a woodworkers table saw (table not included), which probably operates quite well on less than 10,000 watts

What can we learn about Amazon? Despite being able to offer me a new Beck CD because they know I own an old Beck CD, they can’t figure out that their internet/mail order industrial strength tool business is in the shitter because people who shop for books, cds and dvd players don’t want a back hoe or a saber saw.

posted by uncle grambo |

guess who's back?

in the greatest revealing act since the Masked Magician first appeared on Fox, this weekend's Target circular in the Freep / Detnews revealed that MARIO PARTY 4 HITS SHELVES ON OCTOBER 24!!! does this news mean that I will go out and buy a Nintendo Gamecube? hell yes. does this news mean that the week of October 20-26 will go down as one of the best weeks of all-time? hell yes. think about it. you've got the Lips/Beck show, the Prime Ministers/Imperial Teen gig, the opening of "Ghost Ship" and "Jackass - The Movie", and the release of MP4? BEST! this may require a Senior Skip Day where we all call in sick for work on 10.25.02. more details to follow...

posted by uncle grambo |

candy ravers

this one brings new meaning to the term "club kid". we've all been to raves where we've seen people twirling around those infernal glowsticks and sucking on pacifiers, but this story takes it to a whole new level. apparently Jude Law's daughter took some E at a recent birthday party in London. "what's the big deal with that?" you say. well, SHE'S TWO YEARS OLD! now that's hardcore.

posted by uncle grambo |
"I started out with a lot of Audioslave or anything Chris Cornell -- it helped with the aggression. And Chris Webber from the [Sacramento] Kings. There's a real sweetness behind his eyes, but he's pissed off."
Brad Pitt on the sources of inspiration for his character in "Troy"
be like mark

loretta lynn - van lear rose


king of new york (special edition)


john kennedy toole - a confederacy of dunces

adventures w/disposable income
date: 5.8.04
source: CVS
amount: $19.48
(1) liter of Captain's
(2) liters of DC w/lime
(1) mother's day card

snl season 29
by Nummer & H-Bomb
where's grambo?
may 10: the strokes @ state theatre
may 15: cardigans @ magic stick
may 17: softball league @ 8:30pm
may 17: last tourist @ small's (10pm)
may 24: softball league @ 6:10pm
may 27: sea ray / stills @ st. andrews
june 6: dido @ fox theater
june 7: softball league @ 7:20pm
june 14: softball @ 6:10pm
june 19: jessica's graduation party
june 21: softball @ 8:30pm
june 28: softball @ 6:10pm
july 3 - july 11: vacation @ TBD
july 12: softball @ 7:20pm
july 19: softball @ 7:20pm
july 26: softball @ 9:40pm
august 2: softball @ 7:20pm
august 14: nuptial buzz w/c friggs + lescal!!!
october 23: nuptial buzz w/the grizz + mandypants!!!
twenty word reviews
van helsing
walking tall
scooby doo 2: monsters unleashed
dawn of the dead
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
starsky & hutch
girl next door
re-imagines "Risky Business" with Vivid Girls instead of prostitutes; marks Elisha Cuthbert's arrival as an alluring, big screen sex symbol.
Despite the best efforts of TrachtenBest, suffers greatly from a lack of forward momentum (scriptwise) and some remarkably bland casting
along came polly
aside from Philip Seymour Best Ever's performance ("RAIN DANCE!"), I vastly preferred this when it was called "Dharma And Greg."
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