Internet Marketing 101

Today's lesson: REDIRECTS!

Memo to the rocket scientist MBA types who run Home Depot's internerd marketing strategy: If you're going to shell out (sell out?) for a plum promotional sponsorship on "The Apprentice", be sure to get your QA team involved in testing the vanity URL you promote in a high profile plug.

You see, after the apprentices conducted a do-it-yourself clinic at Home Depot in tonight's episode, a commercial ran that suggested that viewers visit www.homedepot.com/apprentice to learn when they could attend a similar clinic in their hometown. Unfortch for the geniuses at the Depot, my bet is that a healthy number of prospective customers instead typed homedepot.com/apprentice into their browser of choice, which points directly to a big fat error page (see below).

Nothing like a nice, warm glass of "Oopsy daisy" to wash down a multimillion dollar investment, eh? This is a perfect example of a company who doesn't have their finger on the pulse of today's Everyman. When was the last time you typed WWW? Probably the last time you finger-banged Mary Jane Rottencrotch. Bovsnia. No buzz for Home Durst-O. I'm taking my bizznass to Lowe's, yo.

Michael Bay ... Closet Britney Fan?

Looks like our favorite hyperspaz director has been studying the work of David LaChappelle, yo. Check the similarities between Miss Scarlett in this screencap from the recently released trailer for "The Island" and the look that Brit Brit sported in the "Everytime" video. Suicide is painless. Obvs.

Totally Tubular!

I don't know how YOU have been spending your free time of late, but your Uncle Grambo has been focused on developing my screenplay for "Totally Tubular! The Terri Schiavo Story." I mean, am I the only one who thinks that Suzanne Vitadamo is kind of a dish? Playing the "I'll provide you solace during your time of grief" card ... some say highly underrated.

And that dad! He's a gruff one, n'est-ce pas? Kind of reminds me of that manager from "Major League"! Which is why my team of agents over at CAA have been working with me to get Reese Witherspoon and James Gammon attached to the hottest project since "Dante's Peak", yo. Just TRY telling me that I'm not the next Michelle Gertz! Robvs.

Spring Break Shark Attack

What do you get when you cross old friends, hundreds of Eagle Claws and a weekend chock fulla March Madness? More buzz than you can shake a stick at.

Big ups to Coach, The Clizzark, Malbersblows, Wartinsmooth and everyone else who made it out to The Field House last weekend.

Posting is going to be light this week. Yeah yeah, I know ... posting has been light the entire YEAR, right? Well, this week your Uncle Grambo will not only be swamped with work, but I am also moving from the cozy confines of Royal Joke to the haven of hipster hottness that is Hamtramck. Aside from the official release of a BOMBSHELL of an interview that I managed to score (along with THREE SNL reviews that I've fallen behind on), I probably won't be back until next week.