W h a t

E v s

(dot org)
"Actually gentlemen, that fat patty did not come near the squirrel as the defender bracelet came through like a glove..."
Relatively useless (yet hopefully intriguing) musings, ramblings, theories, speculations, opinions and views about this, that and (perhaps) the other

What Evs (dot org)
*The Archive

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Assorted Theories
*Staring Down Disillusionment
*Top 25 AHS Dudes

Guest Writers
COMING SOON! (that means you, Peabs)

Etc. Linkage
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Other Places To Visit
*The Desert Sun
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*Mighty Big TV
*Rob Nelson.com
*The Sun Online
*The Impact
*Essential Selection

If you would like to get in touch with the man sittin next to the man sittin next to the man, email me

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Tuesday, April 2, 2002
FOWs to the Left and FOWs to the Rizz,

can you fookin' believe it? two updates in less than a week? i'm getting to be the webmaster that you all hoped and dreamed for since the inception of Whatevs (dot org) back in early january 2k2. i haven't quite incorporated all of the hot new technology into the site that i promised, but i'm working on it.

that being said, i don't have any super fresh new content to sport this evening. i've spent most of my brainpower over the last few days trying to hook up to my apartment's wireless LAN. i spent hours on the phone with Comcast and with Linksys trying to figure out why my IP address wasn't configuring properly, why my DHCP protocol wasn't functioning in the manner it should and other such nonsense. but the good news is i finally got it to work last night, and here we are!

so anyway, the highlight of last weekend was my Saturday trip to Hamtramck for the debut show of Immerse. yes, the fab four from Topeka played their first gig outside of a basement or a garage. for the unenlightened, Immerse features the worldly talents of Matthew "Peabs" Peabody on lead vocals and guitar, Christopher "Friggedy" Frey on rhythm guitar, Paul "The Animal" Serilla on bass and Mike "Dream Brother" Kegler on drums. Their performance at Paycheck's Lounge was off the heez, so go ahead and sign up for the Immerse Mailing List to keep up with the latest news and concert announcements from the band.

as a tribute to the devastatingly charismatic lead singer of the band, here is an email Young Peabs sent to myself and Seante Stevenson on May 8, 2001. when i think of emails that i have seen over the years, it is tough to top this tribute to the video game of all video games...Mario Party 2.

-----Original Message-----
From: Peabs
Sent: Tuesday, May 08, 2001 2:05 PM
To: Mark Graham; Sean Stevenson
Subject: The Mario Party Manifesto.

Bad news, boys. We will not be able to experience the religious enlightenment that is Mario Party 3 until tomorrow, May 9th, 2001. This disturbs me greatly, for the bastards at Best Buy told me that the Westland BB had it in stock. But me, being the smart cookie I is, called ahead of time. And not just to the BB in Westland. Oh no. To EVERY SINGLE FUCKING BEST BUY IN MICHIGAN. There are 16 or something like that. They all said the same thing: "It doesn't come out until tomorrow, you fucking freak."

I also called FuncoLand. And Electronic Boutique. They all said the said thing.

Which brings me to this point, why on earth did they dick us around in saying that first it was be released on the 7th, then the 8th, and now the 9th? I feel cheated.

Which brings me to another point:

Boys, we need to have a blow-out last evening of Mario Party 2-- the game that saved our lives from the pummels of drug addiction and alcoholism. We need to play the mother of all 50 turn games, with bonuses, on the most difficult of levels, in order to fill this emptiness ithat the lack of the possession of MP3 has made us feel this very day, these very moments.

I shall star as Mario.

Grambo, DK.

Seantiz, as usual, Luigi. And 'Tiz, one question, will this be your last run as Luigi? Will you turn to the dark side, and run to his more agile, more diabolically evil cousin, Waluigi? Submit queries to me. Unce.

Any thoughts? I feel that this is a fab idea, but I am willings to make any sort of augmentations to make our final Mario Party 2 experience one that we shall cherish until the end of the sands of time stop tick tick tocking 'round the muthafuckin' clock.

Yes, sir, I am a walking cliche, and I am an admitted Mario Party-holic. I need my fix. I want you boys to join me. Join me tonight. One last night. It will be sexy, it will be competitive. It will be draws on Bumper Bizzies till the sun comes up.

It will be magical.

And furthermore, as I continue this manifesto of epic and Homer-like proportions, I plead to the Nintendo Gods to release MP3 tomorrow. If you are listening out there, Yuki Sajamoto, creator of the Mario Party trilogy, please don't keep us waiting. We have mastered your previous masterpiece.

We are ready for 70 new mini games. Credit Cards. Eatsa Pizza. New characters. New lands.

A new life.

I love you,

Be Like Mark!

In My CD Player
*Source Tags & Codes (...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of The Dead)
*Best Of Both Worlds (Jay-Z and R. Kelly)
*Lazy Line Painter Jane (Belle & Sebastian)

In My DVD Player
*Drunken Master
*The Iron Monkey
*Less Than Zero

On My Nightstand
Ghostwritten: A Novel (David Mitchell)

Twenty Word Reviews
Panic Room

David Fincher's audaciously tiggs directorial prowess straight-up represents in this tautly suspenseful tale of claustrophobia, maternal instinct and Jared Leto.
Resident Evil

Intensely violent and ambitious adaptation of Capcom's legendary videogame piles on the carnage while a scantily clad Milla Jovovich dazzles.
In The Bedroom

Went in with very high expectations, but the last 45 minutes or so really let me down.
The Royal Tenenbaums

The team of Wilson and Anderson strike gold (again!) in what is easily one of my favorite movies of 2001.
Wet Hot American Summer

Recently released on DVD, it's due to become a cult classic and catchphrase generator of choice for hipsters everywhere.