April 30, 2007
No Bingo!
If you’re anything like your Uncle Grambo, the promo you just watched for National Bingo Night gave you the heebie jeebies somethin’ fierce. Have we really sunk this far as a culture that a network is willing to bet millions of dollars that millions of people will forego every other entertainment option available to them in order to tune in to watch OTHER people play bingo? Apparently, the bean counting pointdexters over at the American Broadcasting Company did their due diligence; they ran the numbers, they shot a pilot and then they focus grouped that shit. And guess what? All signs point towards the show being a surefire hit when it debuts on May 18th.
Not sure what you people make of this news, but it’s got your Uncle Grambo thinking that Mike Judge might know more than he’s letting on. I mean, it COULDN’T have just been a coincidence that my first exposure to the National Bingo Night promo came IMMEDIATELY after watching “Idiocracy” yesterday afternoon, could it? Think about it — the line between National Bingo Night and Ow My Balls is even thinner than Allegra Beck (if, in fact, a line exists at all). Not sure what YOU make of all this, but it’s got your Uncle Grambo thinking that the End Of Days is nigh. No Bingo!
April 26, 2007
One Two Tit Pie!
YouTube, truly a time-challenged blogger’s best friend. First caught the hilarious bit posted above during a post-concert rumpus with The Gusters a few weeks back. It comes from a British show called “Man Stroke Woman”, which seems to be operate on the same wavelength as “Mind Of The Married Man”, with one big exception. That exception being that this show is actually funny. And it’s got Nick Frost. The world needs more Nick Frost. Surely you agree.
Speaking of which, SURELY there’s room on the BBC America schedule for a show like this. So why isn’t it airing? It’s not like America is exactly rivted by “Footballers Wive$”, now is it? BBC America … some say the worst programmed channel on the telly these days. So much untapped buzz.
April 24, 2007
Spring Fever. Literally.
For the last few days, your Uncle Grambo has been feeling worse than Lisa Kudrow looks. All the allergies that I thought I left behind in MI (mad ragweed reactions, yo) have been replaced by crazy new NYCentric allergen action. Consequently, I have been left swimming in a crazed daze of Claritin D-nastiness, rendering me even more useless than normal. Hence, the lack of bloggage. Gonna try to get back on the Baloney Pony soon, my beloved FOWs. See you soon. Promise.
April 20, 2007
SNL Season 32 … REVEALED!
| NUMMER’S PRE-SHOW COMMENTS |
| Episode 18: Scarlett Johansson / Björk (4/21/07) |
|
In my preshow comments for the Julia-Louis Dreyfus episode back in March, I pointed out that an emerging trend this season has been Lorne falling back on familiar hosts - probably as counteraction to his slimmed down cast. Scarlett Johansson, who last hosted under 1 ½ years ago, held her own during her SNL debut, but by no means did it warrant such a hasty return. Johansson was likely booked for this weekend to promote “The Nanny Diaries”, but that film has since been pushed to a September release. With this in mind, perhaps she should have been moved to musical guest to support the long-rumored “Scarlett Sings Tom Waits” album instead? Reasoning aside, a quick revisit of her 1/14/06 episode does bring back fond memories. Johansson handled live comedy very well, but it was strong writing that took center stage as we were given the wonderful “Live Duluth” and “Once in a Lifetime Jewelers” - the later of which is still ranked as an example of Sudeikis‘ best work. If Scarlett once again gives 110% and the sketch caliber is matched, this episode should come out on top of last weekend’s dull Shia LaBeouf outing. Another guest making her sophomore visit to SNL this weekend is Björk. She first appeared with host Brendan Fraser way back on 10/18/97 - an episode now noted for the first appearance of Chirs Kattan’s Mango. Maybe it was America’s immediate fascination of Kattan’s sexually ambiguous foreigner, but Björk was limited to only one song that evening (for the curious, it was Bachelorette from her not-yet-released-at-the-time “Homogenic” album). With a new CD set for 5/7/07, I’m hoping for two songs this time. |
April 17, 2007
What’s Your Vertical? Can You Get Rim?
Little known fact. If you point your toes when you jump, you use 32 more muscles than you do if you don’t point your toes. Or so Coach Belote taught me during plyometrics training back in the early `90s. Come to think of it, he was probably full of shit.
Another little known fact. Mary Elizabeth Winstead (for the rubes, she’s the second one from the right) is the hottest thing since sliced bread. She’s also hotter than Slice (the soda, bovs), sliced pizza or, quite frankly, anything else that can be sliced. Her head and tail are heads and tails hotter than anyone else in the cast of “Grindhouse” by a country kilometer. This video from the Vanity Fair photo shoot should provide ample evidence to support your Uncle Grambo’s case. Some say hottest cheerleader since Jen Monahan.
Okay, because you asked, here’s your Uncle Grambo’s official ranking of Grindhouse babes, categorized from Hottie Tottie to Bogus Maximus: M.E. Winstead, Rosario Dawson (those bombs!), Vanessa Ferlito (clearly Jeffrey Wells’ fave), Sydney Tamiia Poitier (who, from the looks of it, has mad hops), Marley Shelton (still has lots of potential), Jordan Ladd (who knew she was so short, anyway?), Tracie Thorns (nowhere near as buzzworthy as Tracey Thorn), Rose McGowan (so nast) and Zoe Bell (who, btw, damn near ruined the movie with her terrible acting, terrible accent and even more terrible faccia).
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