Of all the Twin Peaks characters to emulate, your Uncle Grambo has nary a clue as to why Brendan Fraser would pick James Hurley. And why does his hairline look like it’s just seen a ghost?

RELATED: Next time you’ve got nineteen hours to spare, check out In Twin Peaks and More In Twin Peaks. The guy who runs both of these sites has gone to extraordinary lengths to capture what the most iconic locales from the series look like in the year 2007. So, so, SO best! [via Nummer, obvs]

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Anyone else watch “Entourage” this weekend? Truly terrible television. Not that the show was ever very good to begin with, but there’s no denying that the show’s quality has plummeted substantially this season. It’s painfully obvs that ALL of the actors have taken their one-dimensional characters just about as far as they can go — across the board, there’s not even a smidge of nuance left in any of these actors’ performances. Yep, even Jeremy Piven, who resorted to Three Stooges style “nyuk nyuk” antics in his outburst two episodes ago.¹ The only thing keeping “Entourage” on my DVR these days are the knockout bods of Perry Reeves and Carla Gugino. Ferreals.

• Classic Mädchen Amick. And by classic, I mean nakes. And by nakes, I mean NSFW.

• Wait wait wait. Do you mean to tell me that New York and Sister Patterson are not even related? I feel like I’ve been taken advantage of. [via Stop Clogging My Inbox]

• Tyra Banks was recently seen canoodling with Isiah Thomas (allegedly). Good for Zeke, I’d tap that, too. But the real question is this: what’s C-Webb gonna think? [via NBA Fanhouse]

• Thighs pays tribute to Andy Bernard. The less I seek my source for some definitive, THE CLOSER I AM TO FINE!

• NY Mag can do no wrong these days. Their new entertainment blog, Vulture, is top of the pops.

• The real surprise in this story is that it took this long.

• VH1 Classic to revive the long-dormant 120 Minutes franchise? Yes please! Better yet? Start airing old episodes, STAT!

• Call me The Mayor Of Squaresville if you wanna, but riding a bike that doesn’t have brakes doesn’t sound too safe to me. Shouldn’t it be ENOUGH of a challenge to just not use the brakes on a regular bike? I guess I need to drink more SURGE! [via Lindsayism]

Not sure if this should be categorized as a perk or a punishment of my new(ish) j-o-b, but your Uncle Grambo has been watching “The View” five days a week for the last six months. Not by choice, mind you — I just happen to sit in an office with a TV that’s tuned into the show. That’s all. Anyway, while your Uncle Grambo won’t go as far as to say that I’m going to miss Rosie O’Donnell, I will say that Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s announcement that she’s preggo makes the news a lot easier to bear. Why? I’ll give you two reasons. Welcome back, Hasselbombs!

¹Come on brah, you’re 42 years old. Why are you still shaving your chest? Man up.

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Perez Hilton is blogging on borrowed time. Nope, it’s not the paparazzi-issued lawsuits that are posing the biggest threat to his reign of worsteverness. Instead, the Perez backlash is cresting into tsunami-like proportions thanks to Alexa Ray Joel, of all people. You see, Perez called the — um, how do we put this nicely — distinctively-featured daughter of Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley “shiny” the other day, which resulted in Miss Joel authoring an epic anti-Perez MySpace bulletin frothing with more teen angst than even Angela Chase could bring at her raggiest. She wrote openly of the pressure associated with having famous parents, she railed against the music industry’s desire for hit singles and, most importantly, she complained that people are always ragging on her looks, specifically calling out Perez in the process. You go, gurl!

Perez, who is so self-absorbed that he probably masturbates every time he checks his Technorati referrals, quickly picked up on Miss Joel’s missive and ran it virtually unedited on his site (save for a dribble of spooge he drew on Miss Joel’s mouth). Here’s where things got interesting: instead of going the same route as every other Perez post (90% concur, 10% bitch that he’s too mean), the tide INSTEAD swung against the swarthy sandbagger. At press time, over 1,100 commenters have shown their support for the virtues of playing nice in the sandbox over the brand of mean-spirited awfulness that Perez trades in. Rather than concurring for the millionth time that Fergie really IS a Peepants beyond compare, the faithful flockers focused their vitriol on raging hardcore against both the nasty blogstain himself AND the tabloid machine that built him up. Trust you me, you’ll be blinded by the beauty of the backlash.

After reading these comments, it’s hard to argue that we AREN’T on the brink of a sea change relating to our collective infatuation with Mario Lavandeira. With that in mind, your Uncle Grambo would like to take a quick sec to salute Alexa Ray Joel for doing her part in helping to crush Perez’s empire. Unfortch for us all, this is just the beginning of the movement (meaning, her work probably won’t bring him down anytime soon). But don’t fret! This whole situation just goes to prove that society-at-large is well on its way to arriving at the tipping point where we all turn our backs on durstdevils trading in blatant and oppressive negativity like Perez. With any luck, it won’t be long before he is driven back to the disgusting depths from whence he came. If the glossies have any sense (and that’s a BIG “if”), they’re all working feverishly on big Alexa Ray Joel features for their weekend issues. After all, he IS their primary competition — it’s about damn time they started treating him as such. It’s high time to bury Perez Hilton’s punk ass — personally, I can’t wait for the carnage to begin.

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Baron Davis. Some say donning the Bullet Fedora this weekend makes him the best Baron since The Beer Baron. Rex Banner and Mark Cuban, be damned!

• Michael Bublé wants us to call him irresponsible. Too bad we already call him dildo.

• Hey History Channel. I know that you’re coming to grips with the fact that your audience isn’t getting any younger, but shouldn’t you be thinking of ways to diversify your programming without taking a dump on the Greatest Generation? Band Of Bloggers my ASS!

• Is there a more useless continent than Australia? Seriously, can’t think of a SINGLE redeeming quality that Australia brings to the table (save maybe Naomi Watts). The fact that they imported Kristin Cavallari to spice up their MTV Music Awards just proves that the entire nation is devoid of any buzz whatsoevs.

• Oh, New York Times. Sometimes I think you do stupid things just so bloggers like your Uncle Grambo will link to you. At least that’s what I’m hoping. I couldn’t come up with any other reasons to justify the existence of a headline like “DJ AM: His Life, Times, Shoes” running in their Styles section yesterday. That said, propers are due for going to Nick Catchdubs for a choice quote.

• Ever since Acceptable debuted, I’ve kinda been crushing on Jen Kirkman. Let’s just say that I’m buying whatever it is that she’s selling.

• Jeffrey Wells. Read him, know him, love him. This recap of an encounter with Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson is worth the price of admission in and of itself. Even better? There’s no admission price!

• Welcome back, Herbert Kornfeld! It’s been two long years since we last heard from you. Please don’t make it another two years, Zweibel!

Lastly, your Uncle Grambo would like to award a special Medal Of Brilltascity to Ken Paves (pictured below) for convincing Jessica Simpson to dye her hair brown. As Steven Tyler would say, J. Simpson has been lookin’ F-I-N-E Fine ever since discovering what brown can do for her. Burrito supreme! [pics via Egotastic]

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Remember four or five years ago when Taryn Manning was an It Girl? Yeah, me neither. Still, it looks like the last half-decade of not getting roles has taken its toll Miss Manning. Actually, here’s hoping that it’s JUST the lack of work that’s gotten to her, as opposed to the scenario that she’s spent the last few months holed up in her apartment living her life like she’s Brittany Murphy in Spun.

Here’s my advice for Taryn. Clean yourself up, girl. In all senses of the word (showers and rehab come to mind). Also, the next time you show up at a celebrity Swag Tent looking for the world like a Dina Lohan’s recently rained-upon older sister, it’s best to give a polite “No thanks” to the `razzo asking you to pose alongside the stunning Elisha Cuthbert. It’s called managing your brand. Look into it.

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