Mario Party DS! November 19th! Watch the trailer! Pre-order that shit! Exclamation points! Your Uncle Grambo’s only regret is that I don’t know anyone else in New York who owns a DS. Think that’ll stop me from buying the latest installment of the greatest video game series ever invented? Negative Ghost Rider, your pattern is FULL!

I said it before, but I’ll say it again. If The Muggs are the Next Great American Band, I’m moving to Slovakia. Or maybe Bratislava.

The freshman bitties at MSU are nowhere near as hot as they were two years ago. The same cannot be said for the NSFdubs dorms of C-Bus. [via Big Ten Poon]

Cowboy Junkies. Performed “The Trinity Sessions” in its entirety. In London. Two weeks ago. How come no one told me about this?

Does the Fiddler have a foot fetish? We’re going with “YES!”

R.I.P Mo Pitkins.

Are tempura pumpkin blossoms the new zucchini flowers? No-eye-deer (and No Eye Becky Irabu). Howevs, we will go on record saying we will eat anything that’s been deep fried in sweet, sweet tempura. Even looseleaf paper … but only if it’s college-ruled!

Big ups to The Heff for pointing out the oh-so-fab vlog (Ed. Note - “vlog” = worst word evs) I Do Nothing All Day. Awesome extension of a concept first pioneered by the seminal (heh) Office Pirates featch, “Women Walking Around During Lunchtime.” Btw, every day in NYC is like this. At least in Midtown during the lunching hours, that is. Which begs the q, why are you still living where you live? Seers.

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The last thing your Uncle Grambo expected to find in his inbox this morning was a brand new recording from The Verve! It’s been a long time since we heard new music from the favorite sons of Wigan, and this 14+ minute song entitled “The Thaw Session” does not disappoint. The jammy, psychedelic groove echoes back to what The Verve sounded like when they first broke on the scene, back before they became chart-topping and world-conquering superstars. It’s the kind of rhythm-heavy, blues-influenced sound that we haven’t heard since the group first disbanded during the recording sessions of what would become “Urban Hymns” — far closer to, say, “Gravity Grave” than, say, “Space And Time.” All of the old school Verve fans who became disenchanted with the influence that Richard Ashcroft wielded over Nick McCabe in both the songwriting and recording process during the band’s later years will be thrilled with this track. Yes, I’m talking to you, Wartinsmooth.

Anyway, the track is available exclusively at NME.com. They make you jump through some hurdles in order to download the track, but if you click here, you get to skip most of the shenanigans. Don’t know about you, but my fingers are crossed that The Verve’s reunion tour will eventually bring them back Stateside … Coachella `08, anyone?

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Can’t say that your Uncle Grambo is necessarily down with Team Panettiere — after all, short blondes aren’t my bag, particularly when they’re 18 going on 29 — but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t pay top dolla to witness V-Mars frenching Claire Bear. Alas, for now, we’ll all just have to subside with these pictures of them staring lovingly and longingly into each others eyes. Howevs, in the pic below and to the right, I’m pretty sure their boobs are touching. Electric Youth!

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This clip might be old to you, but it’s new to me. I like it because it manages to simultaneously exist in two polar planes as both the biggest spoiler of all-time (bad!) and also an almost incomparably compelling call-to-action to watch their show THIS WEEK (good!). Probably the best television promotion I’ve seen since I started paying any sort of real attention to what makes a good television promotion. And man oh man, that Smulders. Want … to touch … the heinie.

Also, anyone else feel like Jason Segel’s concentration is elsewhere this season? Or is it just that his portrayal of Marshall in the first two seasons was just SO awesome that everything else is bound to be a letdown? I mean, it’s not like I don’t think that the former is kind of forgivable for the first few episodes. After all, he is coming off a big summer in which he wrote and starred in the Judd Apatow produced “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” All I’m saying is that I miss my Marshall. Come back!

PS, you should all join the HIMYM Awesome Gang on Facebook. I’m in like 30 Facebook groups, but this is the only one that I have been compelled to visit a couple times each week. Good stuff.

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Hey, you know what’s really funny? Making fun of handicapped people! Hey look, it’s Cousin Geri from “Facts Of Life” … `MEMBA HER? Get it, `MEMBA??? You know, because some handicappers sometimes have difficulty pronouncing words with complete clarity? Man oh man, now that’s some TRULY hilarious headline writing prowess! So hilarious, in fact, that it makes “Headless Body In Topless Bar” look like “Dewey Defeats Truman”! But wait, there’s more!

Are you the kind of person who’s curious what handicapped people look like when they are in their 50s? OF COURSE YOU ARE! Don’t feel guilty to be curious, most of ‘em don’t make it to the ripe ole age of 51, do they? Come on, you know it’s true, THAT’S WHY WE’RE ALL LAUGHING ABOUT IT! But do you think we’re gonna show you the goods on the homepage? Hell to the Naw, we’re gonna make you click to see how cruel fate truly can be (and also serve up some extra page views in the process)! TMZ! ALL THE WAY! WE RULE! MUST CREDIT TMZ!

Ok, enough’s enough. End Scene.

When your Uncle Grambo first saw this post go up at 10am this morning, I thought (and hoped) that Harvey or someone at TMZ HQ would come to their senses and do the right thing and pull the post (or, at the very least, change the headline). So I took a screenshot of it, just for posterity’s sake. So, imagine my surprise when I pulled up TMZ at 7pm this and realized it was NOT ONLY still up, but they changed the timestamp from 10:00am to 2:15pm to ENSURE THAT IT REMAINED ON THE HOMEPAGE!!! Gotta get those page views, people! Now it’s not like I’m anything even remotely approaching a Goody Two Shoes or a crusader for the rights of the disabled myself, but come on, this is a MAJOR MEDIA COMPANY making fun of handicapped people. How can this fly? How come Gawker or the HuffPo or Drudge or SOMEBODY hasn’t put them on blast for this offensive and revolting post yet? Truly astounding on every conceivable level.

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