• When Damizz was in town a couple weekends back, we abstained from pounding beers for a few hours so we could catch an afternoon screening of “The Hitcher” at the local googleplex. And you know what? It was surprisingly best. Before Lindsay pounces on me, let me clarify. It wasn’t nearly as best as, say, “The Descent”, but it was def WAY more enjoyable than the other nu-wave horror remakes (”The Hills Have Eyes”, “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”) that have been released under the Michael Bay banner. And man oh man, how come no one ever told me that Sophia Bush was such a Backstage Betty? Her shower scene was worth the $11 alone. Recommendation? Netflix that sh*t, holmes.

• Speaking of Michael Bay sanctioned horror flicks, you just know that “The Hills Have Eyes 2″ is going to be terrible con carne. That said, the teaser trailer is definitely Boobs McGee.

• Why did it take me nearly six weeks to hear about Olivia Munn popping her top during a heated boxing match on the Wii? Giggity! [via SuperiorPics]

• Are you a “W.H.A.S.” fanatic who is having difficulty coming to grips with the fact that August 3rd is still a full seven months away? Fear not, my friends. “The Michael Showalter Showalter” ought to tide you over for a bit.

• Is it strange that I prefer reading Bill Simmons’ thoughts on basketball to watching an actual NBA game? Can’t some enterprising production person at ABC or ESPN figure out a way to integrate Bill Simmons into their telecasts in some way OTHER than calling play-by-play?

• Don’t remember exactly how I discovered it, but Indexed is fast becoming one of my fave reads. Bookmark that sh*t, pronto.

• Does the fact that HK Flix has stopped selling a region-free copy of “El Topo” mean that Abcko Films is finally going to put this masterpiece out on DVD Stateside? Don’t hold your breath, this thing has been pushed back even more than the equally anticipated DVD release of the second season of “Twin Peaks”! With that in mind, be sure NOT! TO! MISS! IT! as restored prints of “El Topo” and “The Holy Mountain” make a cross-country tour of the nation’s finest art house cinemas. Even you, A²!

• Fire up, Chips! Soon-to-be-famous alumnus Chris Kula is going to be appearing on an upcoming episode of “30 Rock”! Buzz.

• Dude. “New Dance Show.” OUTRAGEOUS! [via DataWhat? and Rob Theakston]

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Made a quick trip back home to Detroit this weekend. Unfortunately, the circumstances that led to this visit were anything but ideal. Derek Giordano, who had been a close friend of our family for as long as I can remember, passed away on Friday morning. He was only 28 years old. My thoughts and prayers go out to Derek’s family and all of his friends during this incredibly difficult time.

Long-time FOWs will remember that The Giors was one of the very first contributors to whatevs (dot org), way back in the days before I even knew how to build a permalink. The Giors was a preternaturally talented writer who was just as comfortable discussing the War on Iraq as he was previewing the release of “Old School.” As a way of paying tribute to the eternally classic Derek, please take a second to check out two of the pieces he wrote for whatevs (dot org) way back in 2003. Rest in peace, Giors.

—The Giors on The War in Iraq, 3/2/2003 (about 2/3 of the way down)
—The Giors on “Old School”, 2/16/2003 (scroll all the way down) - on old school (scroll all the way down)

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Way back in Novembs, your Uncle Grambo spent some time extolling the virtues of watching “cheerleaders getting fucking rocked.” In honor of that fine tradition, I’m happy to bring you this outstanding video of both cheerleaders AND band geeks getting fucking rocked. Sometimes they even rock each other.

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• I’m supposed to be living in the media capital of the nation, if not the world. So how come I can’t find a copy of this month’s Los Angeles Magazine to save my life? I really, really wanted to read the feature on Jeffrey Wells (!!!) and Dave Poland (”The Blog Whisperers”) at lunch today, old fashioned stizz. Even after hitting up all of the various newsstands in Times Square (including a run to the Virgin Megastore), I still came up empty. Oh well, I guess that’s why they invented the Internerd™.

  RELATED: Jeffrey Wells on Jeffrey Wells! Some say even better than Scagnetti On Scagnetti!

• AllMusic.com is the most comprehensive music site on The Internerd™, no doubt about it. There’s also no doubt that it’s the most lifeless music site on The Internerd™. It’s hard to put a finger on why a site so best can simultaneously be so durst, but Dean Simakis’ assertion is that it’s a design issue.

  RELATED: This week’s Metro Times features a mammoth story on All Music … good stuff.

• All kinds of breaking Sarah Shannon news to share. After Angels Twenty revealed a few weeks back that one of your Uncle’s all-time fave indie rock babes has a new solo jawn on the way, yesterday saw a veritable explosion of S.S. related content on The Internets. Both Chrome Waves and Idolator were on the scene to serve up some yummy Velocity Girl goodness. The latter, in particular, revealed an AMAZING V.G. find from the Sub Pop Singles days.

• Not sure if its the competitive nature of the industry or what, but man oh man, it seems like nothing pleases NY media types more than the opportunity to wallow around in a warm bath of schadenfreude. Me, I hate it when bad things happen to good people. Which hopefully explains why there’s not much I can say about Chris Shott’s “Blog Ghetto” piece in The Observer today. If you’re looking for commentary, look no further than Gawker … obvs.

• Dude, have you SEEN that that fucking shark? SO CRAZED! So crazed that, if it had appeared in “The Life Aquatic”, it would’ve salvaged that otherwise terrible film.
• Oprah and Bill Bonds. `Nuff said.

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From L to R: Jessi Klein, Jonathan Ames, Catie Lazarus, David Rakoff, Annabelle Gurwitch, Elizabeth Spiers [pic by Brian Van]

The other night, when The Senator and I were talking about why we’ve been to more comedy shows in the two months since we moved to New York (8) than I have been to in my entire life (maybe 4), she made a very prescient observation. Namely, that comedy is the new indie rock. And you know what? She’s right. Let me explain.

Now, your Uncle Grambo isn’t exactly breaking any new journalistic ground when I tell you that shit is EXPENSIVE here in NYC. I’m not exaggerating when I say that it’s impossible to leave the apartment without dropping a Hamilton. Considering that I’m just an Average Joe making an Average Salary, let’s just say that I’ve been forced to become WAY more fiscally responsible over the last few months. At the same time, this city presents you with a bazillion amazing things to do every single night of the week, most of which cost money. Irresistable force, meet immovable object. This is where comedy comes into play.

Much like indie rock in the late 90s, where you could hit The Shelter or St. Andrews or The Blind Pig and catch a killer three-band bill for like $12, the same thing exists in NYC today with comedy. Not only is the talent top-notch, but the bang-for-yer-buck ratio is off the charts. For instance, last night I caught all of the talented comedians/humourists pictured above for the low, low price of $10! When The Grizz was in town back in November, we saw Amy Poehler, Jack McBrayer, Rob Huebel and a handful of others improv at the UCB for eight American dollars! Even with a couple of drinks (PBRs are like $2 at UCB) thrown into the mix, there’s no competition when it comes to getting the most out of your disposable income.

RELATED: Gawker has a good review of the show. And, for the record, Spiers KILLED!

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