Your Uncle Grambo spent Mother’s Day weekend back in The D™. Rather than get all verbose on your asses about what an incredible time it was, I’ll let the snaps do the talking. Natch.

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Is there anyone better equipped at capturing the beauty of a young woman drenched in sunlight than Sofia Coppola? In the wake of catching a bit of “The Virgin Suicides” on cable this weekend, I think nyet. And because it had been a few years since my last viewing, your Uncle Grambo only just now realized that A.J. Cook is TOTALLY revealed as one of the doomed Lisbon sisters. Want. To. Touch. The. Heinie!

• Ok, who watched Acceptable TV this weekend like your Uncle Grambo instructed you to? While I’m not sure which of the five shows will be returning this week, I cop to placing my two votes for Joke Chasers and Homeless James Bond. Regarding the former, “Joke Chasers” seems to be the one that the critics dug the mostest (see: Troy Patterson @ Slate, Virginia “Dont Call Me Vagina” Heffernan @ The NYT); tune in on Friday night to see if America agreed!

• “By the end, all one’s left with is unanswered questions. How did I listen to this album 3 times? Why did I listen to this album 3 times? Will I be able to delete this album from the iPod (in my mind)? And of course, who can I talk to about refunding the 3 hours of my life that were wasted listening to this album?” — Damore skewers the new Bad Charlotte record in a review posted today on RecordReviews.org

• While we’re speaking of the old skool, it seems that long-time whatevs (dot org) nemesis SpaceMonkey is back up to his old tricks! Banished from this site eons ago, he has taken his brand of aggressively durst comment-foolery to the Freep.com message boards. And, from the looks of it, his reception there has been equally cold. User 123456 puts it best: “Spacemonkey. Please, stop reading Freep.com. For something that costs you nothing you sure complain A LOT! If you hate it stop reading it. I mean really use your brain.” Poor grammar and punctuation errors aside, I think this qualifies as a ZING!

• Get serious like crazy! Despite the fact that it sports the least sing-a-longable chorus since Liz Phair’s infamous “H.W.C.”, the new Natasha Bedingfield jawn is catchy as all get-out. I wanna have your babies! [via Idolator]

• Dateline Ann Arbor! The Michigan Daily reports that a masturbating trespasser recently invaded the PIKE house. Mind you, said masturbating trespasser was actually a FEMALE masturbating trespasser. How come shit like this never happened at 910 Greenwood? [via JP McKrengels]

• And BOOM goes the dynamite! And by “dynamite”, your Uncle Grambo really means Meredith Viera’s melon. Ouchers McGee!

• And the review is in! Jeffrey Wells (mostly) hearts “Grindhouse” … while he snubs Robert Rodriguez’s “Planet Terror” entry as “tired, gloppy and mostly groan-worthy”, Wells waxes ecstatic as only he can about Quentin Tarantino’s entry, “Death Proof.” Witness the quickness:
  
  

  “It’s a foxy, half-crazy, smirky B-movie wallow with nary a thought or a theme of any kind, but it’s a complete fuck-all pleasure to just rock and ride along with, and the car-chase finale (the star of which is New Zealand stuntwoman Zoe Bell, who stunt-dubbed for Uma Thurman in ‘Kill Bill’) is the absolute shit.”

  
  Huzzah! When “Grindhouse” opens April 6, I will SO be there.

And, in closing, your Uncle Grambo and The Senator were fortunate enough to attend an event on Friday night honoring President William Jefferson Clinton (or, as his friends call him, Bill). Held at the Hilton New York Grand Ballroom here in Midtown NYC, the first annual Salvation Army Spring Gala raised over $1MM for Emergency Disaster Relief funding. Aside from the evening’s one shining moment (which, obvs, was seeing Bill Clinton live and in the flesh¹), the evening’s best laugh came courtesy of The Senator (natch).

As we were working our way through our first course, we noticed a woman walking into the venue a good 20 minutes late. The slenderish, dark-haired woman was a good 100 feet away from our table when The Senator leaned into me and whispered, “Is that Julia Allison?” I craned my head around to take a closer look and then IMMEDIATELY burst out laughing. Not because it WAS Julia Allison, but because the person in question was none other than Fran Freaking Drescher!!! Up until that point, I had never really noticed that there was a such a strong resemblence between the two, both in their visages and in their figures. After taking a look at photographic evidence presented below, I’m sure you too will find the resemblance to be uncanny!

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Not sure exactly who Abbey Clancy is, but now I know that I should start caring. Giggity!

• Julie Roehm, former rock star CMO and 2006 Grambo’s Gals Finalist, is once again back in the news now that Wal-Mart has filed a countersuit against Roehm’s wrongful dismissal suit. While there’s no denying that there was some inappropriate email action going down between Roehm and one of her (male) subordinates, your Uncle Grambo still thinks that Wal-Mart is the villian in this story. Not just because Roehm is a hottie, either. Rather, because it seems to this observer that Wal-Mart’s corporate ethics policy seems to be unnecessarily stingy (much like it was when I was at GM). [via Gawker]

• While these pics of Katherine Heigl picking a wedgie are pretty disheartening (in that it brings her back down to Earth from her orbit in the Fantasy Vixen Supreme solar system), it ain’t gonna stop her from becoming America’s Next Top Sweetheart™.

• James Murphy really digs the drugs, eh? I say no biggs, esp. if continuing to live in a state of chemical complicity allows him to make another “Sound Of Silver.”

• Is this really what Rufus meant when he sang “My phone’s on vibrate for you”? (NSFDubs)

• Best random Nintendo reset evs? It comes courtesy of a song that’s been getting a lot of spins in your Uncle Grambo’s iPod of late. The song in question is the long-forgotten “Shuffle It All” by Izzy Stradlin & The Ju Ju Hounds, which just so happens to be one of the most underrated jawns from the early `90s. What raises the song from merely good to all-time best evs is the fact that it resets Dr. Mario (” My woman playing Dr. Mario / On the TV all night long”), easily the best 2 player game in the history of Nintendo.

• Lindsayism is right. This IS bullshit.

• Leafblower is right, too. Both Record Reviews and Send Me Dead Flowers are bringing all sorts of A-Game back to The Blogosphere™. Helmed by The Gorilla and Kegzies, respectively, it’s like it’s 2004 all ovah again up in this bitch. BRAVO!

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