Although it’s difficult to put a date of origin¹ on the most classic of all the classic playground putdowns, it’s fair to say that “Let’s not and say we did” was WAY ahead of its time. Not only did it predate the whole revolution of “Irony As Comedic Device” by a full five years², it had so much new school appeal and relevance to the children of the `80s that old-standbys like “Your mother wears combat boots” were wiped from the lexicon almost overnight. What this has to do with the price in China, I’m not quite sure. But I figured it was a good a start as any to get into my first bullet-stizz post in weeks. Snarls!

• Quick shout-out to John Carney … get well soon, holmes!

• “If you have it, you don’t need it. If you need it, you don’t have it. If you have it, you need more of it. If you have more of it, you don’t need less of it. You need it to get it and you certainly need it to get more of it. But if you don’t already have any of it to begin with, you can’t get any to get started which means you really have no idea how to get it in the first place, do you? You can share it, sure. You can even stockpile it if you’d like, but you can’t fake it. Wanting it, needing it, wishing for it. The point is, if you’ve never had any of it, ever … people just seem to know.”

• It’s been almost a full-month since it happened, but time doesn’t seem to be reducing your Uncle Grambo’s ire over Owen Gleiberman naming “Casino Royale” his #1 Film of 2006. It’s hard to go TOO ballistic on a fellow Wolverine alumnus, so instead I’ll ask him two simple questions: first, how high were you when you saw “Casino Royale”? Second, how can I get my hands on somma that stuff?

• Binky’s Girls — Easily the best SFW gallery of babes that this blogga has come across in `07. And when I say SFW, I mean SFW … but barely.

• If you haven’t yet experienced the highwire hysterics of Zarf, resident tranny on “All My Children”, your time is now. Your big, masculine hands will thank you for it later.

• Your Uncle Grambo would be lying if I said that I ever really got over the way that the 1993 NCAA basketball championship game went down. Nearly 14 years later, I still harbor a great deal of resentment towards Chris Webber. Not just because of the outcome of that game, mind you, but because of the way that his selfish actions decimated the entire basketball program at Michigan. But now that he’s a Piston, I’m torn. As much as I hate C. Webb, I heart the Pistons. This oughta be interesting…

• Lastly, I just wrapped up Special Topics In Calamity Physics, Marisha Pessl’s mostly wonderful debut novel. I say “mostly” wonderful because the last 100 pages or weren’t able to match the level of intensity that the book’s earlier sections established, but then again, the real joy in reading this book has very little to do with what happens to the characters, plot-wise. For this reader, the conscious decision to focus less on plot and instead indulge on Pessl’s delicious phrasing resulted in an experience akin to eating a hot fudge sundae — the key to enjoying both rests in your ability to balance competing desires. Do you savor every bite, or do you finish it off quickly?

¹ For the sake of this argument, let’s just say that it’s been around since at least 1980, the year your Uncle Grambo matriculated into Brewster Elementary school.
² Dennis Miller became host of SNL’s “Weekend Update” in 1985.

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