To quote LL, it gets no rougher.

Between this recockulous p0wnage (which will be going viral today, just you wait and see) and The Fiddler’s recent propers, your Uncle Grambo is proud to report that Munn is finally beginning to reap the buzz that I began sowing way back in May of Oh Six. Natch. MUNN!

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The last time your Uncle Grambo gave even a passing thought to pole vaulting was during an EPIC battle of Decathalon with Matt Fleury back in the summer of 1985 (2600 stizz, natch). Howevs, thanks to a choice reveal by the good folks over at With Leather (fast becoming the Maxim of sports blogs, and I mean that as a compliment), methinks it’s high time to get back into track and field. Or, more accurately, it’s time to long jump my way onto the Allison Stokke bandwagon.

For the uninitiated, Allison is an 18 year-old California high school senior / pole vaulting champion. Yes, I said she’s still in high school. And yes, I also said that she’s 18. The way your Uncle Grambo figures it, that’s a wash, right? Irregardless, there’s no debating that Allison is the hottest hottie to hit the sports circuit since Anna Pornikova captured our fancy (and stole Sergei Federov’s heart) back in the mid `90s. She makes Sharapova look like Lindsey Davenport, she makes Julie Foudy look like Michelle Akers, and she makes Michelle Wie look like, well, every other golfer in the LPGA. It’s like someone finally brought the technology from “Weird Science” to fruition and Frankenstein’d the FUNK out of the genetic material of Emmanuelle Chiqrui and Sergei Bubka (sans the pinko commie buzz negativo of the former, hobvs). In other words, B-B-B-BEST! Color me smitten.

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The post that your Uncle Grambo filed yesterday on the Snorg Tees Girl seems to have resonated with the FOW Nation. My inbox was flooded¹ with communiques from tipsters, each attempting to enlighten your Uncle on the hottness that is Alice, The Snorg Tees Girl.

Yes, that’s right. It turns out that the mystery girl has a name, and that name is Alice. It also turns out that the 19 year old Auburn Universtity co-ed has a Fan Club (of the unofficial variety) AND a MySpace page (in fact, if all goes well, she just may become your Uncle’s 100th MySpace Friend). It also turns out that Dean T.A.M.S.Y. has been covering this beat (so to speak) since May of Oh-Six. Dayum!

Oh well, despite being nearly ten months late to this party, I fully stand behind my belief that Alice, The Snorg Tees Girl is prepared to DOMINATE in 2007. Here’s hoping that this resurfacing of one of America’s Next Top Hotties catches the eye of someone of some importance, someone who could get advance her career with a profile or a layout or something. At least until Amanda Bynes resurfaces, that is…

¹And by “flooded”, I really mean “four emails, give or take one either way.”

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Dude, the Snorg Tees Girl is making a real run at being one of Grambo’s Gals for the calendar year 2007. Not only is she teh cuteness, but there’s something about her ability to straddle the line between mystery and ubiquity that appeals to your Uncle Grambo. She’s one to watch, my friends. One to watch!

While we’re talking Grambo’s Gals of posts past, Olivia Munn is still burning up, burning up for my love. To that end, JP McKrengels just unearthed this clip of Munn talking about her favorite Confederate soldier, Colonel Angus. Giggity.

• Memo to The Shins: Hey, love that music video where you guys ride Segways! Only thing is, I loved it so much more when Guster did it … FOUR MONTHS AGO! If you’re gonna hoark Yonkman’s buzz, at least have the common courtesy to properly attribute the inspirado, yo.

• The list of things your Uncle Grambo doesn’t understand is long and distinguished (just like my johnson). Near the top of said list is Andrew WK’s emergence as a Keynote Speaker (of sorts). It’s not that I don’t like WK — it’s tough to hate someone whose sole purpose in life is to party hard — it’s just tough to fathom that anyone who has ever seen him speak (as The Grizz, The Senator and your Uncle Grambo did back in November) would describe his freeform QNA sessions as anything other than rambling and incoherent. That said, when WK breaks loose, he REALLY breaks loose. Witness what your Uncle Grambo shot here and here.

• Wells. Love him, but methinks he may have lost his marbles.

• This one’s for Damore: Eliza Dushku … in a thong … stripping (NSFW, obvs). [via ONTD]

• I know it’s been rough going over at Time Inc. of late. But if they think that their digital strategy is best served by sending a photog to take pictures of the Northwestern girls lacrosse team and their pitiful living quarters, might I suggest they think again?

• You thought the “Rocky and Bullwinkle” movie blew? Well you’re right, it did. Howevs, your Uncle Grambo’s pretty sure that the upcoming “Chipmunks” film starring Jason Lee will make “Rocky And Bullwinkle” look like “300.”

Oh yeah, “300″. SO! FREAKING! BEST! You say that it never registered with you on any sort of emotional level? I say SO WHAT! You want to get emotional? Grab a box of tampons and watch Lifetime. But if you want to see a movie described as “Tits. Violence. Anger. Repeat.”, that’s EXACTLY what you’ll get when you see “300.” And how about that Lena Headey (she played the wife of King Leonidas)? She’s got the face of a young Connie Nielsen and the nips of a young Farrah Fawcett (NSFW) … wowzers.

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I don’t know how many of you ever frequent the altogetherly excellent website Sports By Brooks, but it’s long been one of your Uncle Grambo’s daily destinations on The Internerd™. Part Deadspin, part Bad Jocks and part Maxim, Sports By Brooks is not only known for their hilariously skewed take on the sports world, but also for recruiting and spotlighting some of the hottest tail known to man. If you don’t believe me, take a cruise through their directory of dames; trust me, you won’t be disappointed.

But take it from someone who’s been following the site for years, you’ll never see anyone on the site quite like Lisa Marie. Her perfection cannot be adequately (or even adequitely) described in words, so instead I’ll just let these pictures do the talking.

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