Face it, our squad didn’t even deserve to be on the same field as them. And no, your Uncle Grambo isn’t talking about the University Of Michigan football team (more on them some other time); I’m talking about our pathetic excuse for a cheerleading squad. Please understand that I’m fully cognizant of the fact that there are more “ugly Michigan girl” jokes than there are minutes in the day, but SURELY there has got to be at least ten chicks in Ann Arbor between the ages of 18 and 22 who can nail a couple of back handsprings AND look good in a short skirt. And SURELY The U can find a couple of spare bucks in the athletic budget to hire a stylist who doesn’t complicate matters by making the best chicks we have to offer look like Nancy Lopez’s back-up dancers. Am I right or am I right?

Fortunately for us Wolverine fans, the thing about yesterday’s game that’s getting the most ink is NOT actually the game. Instead, the Case Of The USC Song Girl and Her Missing Underwear is dominating the headlines. Not since the good ole days of Mystery Booty have the internets banded together so fastidiously in an attempt to solve a mystery of such international consequence.

As of press time, only one piece of this puzzle has been solved. While the debate still rages on as to whether or not the Song Girl in question is Megan or Alli (you can follow said debate over at Deadspin), the Encyclopedia Browns over at Michigan Sports Center have acquired HD screenshots that prove that the Trojan Tushy was indeed clad with some sort of underwears. As they say in the bizz, DEVELOPING!

UPDATE: Mystery solved. Boi From Troy says it’s Megan after all. [via Deadspin]

Share This