Baron Davis. Some say donning the Bullet Fedora this weekend makes him the best Baron since The Beer Baron. Rex Banner and Mark Cuban, be damned!

• Michael Bublé wants us to call him irresponsible. Too bad we already call him dildo.

• Hey History Channel. I know that you’re coming to grips with the fact that your audience isn’t getting any younger, but shouldn’t you be thinking of ways to diversify your programming without taking a dump on the Greatest Generation? Band Of Bloggers my ASS!

• Is there a more useless continent than Australia? Seriously, can’t think of a SINGLE redeeming quality that Australia brings to the table (save maybe Naomi Watts). The fact that they imported Kristin Cavallari to spice up their MTV Music Awards just proves that the entire nation is devoid of any buzz whatsoevs.

• Oh, New York Times. Sometimes I think you do stupid things just so bloggers like your Uncle Grambo will link to you. At least that’s what I’m hoping. I couldn’t come up with any other reasons to justify the existence of a headline like “DJ AM: His Life, Times, Shoes” running in their Styles section yesterday. That said, propers are due for going to Nick Catchdubs for a choice quote.

• Ever since Acceptable debuted, I’ve kinda been crushing on Jen Kirkman. Let’s just say that I’m buying whatever it is that she’s selling.

• Jeffrey Wells. Read him, know him, love him. This recap of an encounter with Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson is worth the price of admission in and of itself. Even better? There’s no admission price!

• Welcome back, Herbert Kornfeld! It’s been two long years since we last heard from you. Please don’t make it another two years, Zweibel!

Lastly, your Uncle Grambo would like to award a special Medal Of Brilltascity to Ken Paves (pictured below) for convincing Jessica Simpson to dye her hair brown. As Steven Tyler would say, J. Simpson has been lookin’ F-I-N-E Fine ever since discovering what brown can do for her. Burrito supreme! [pics via Egotastic]

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Don’t get a blogga wrong, I love all things Ash. But your Uncle Grambo would be being less than honest with you if I didn’t say that I’m nervous to see what the band’s sound will be like now that the band’s fairest member, Miss Charlotte Hatherley, has gone solo. Which is why, along with the impending release of Miss Hatherley’s second solo record, that I’m leading the charge to change Ash Wednesday to Charlotte Hatherley Wednesday. Your Uncle has been a Charlotte fan for, like, forevs (see pics of Ash @ The Shelter circa `03), so you can imagine how geeched I was to scoop an advance of “The Deep Blue” a few weeks back. The second single off the LP, “I want You To Know”, is a delicious slice of top-notch pop that recalls the Girl Group Sounds of the `60s (lots of “wella wellas”, if you catch my drizzle). Check out the song’s video at the bottom of this post, just after I satiate your thirst for some PHC. True.

• —“All the girls kept saying how fugly she looked as a baldie.”
• —After a slow start in January, Spring 2007 is shaping up to be a cinematic cream dream. Your Uncle Grambo is having a hard time deciding whether to be more fired-up for the release of “Zodiac”, “300″ or “Grindhouse.” Since “Zodiac” is first up on the release calendar, I guess that’s the default choice as of February 21, 2007. Wells is on the record calling Fincher’s first film in five years a “knockout”, adding that he walked out of the theater feeling “like I’d taken an art-film quaalude.” Huzzah! When combined with the mostly positive piece in this Sunday’s NYT, this observer proclaims megabuzzpatrol.

• —The Passion Of The Weiss went to a Camera Obscura show so you don’t have to.

• —Any of you literary cats out there heard anything about the new Smiley jawn? Your Uncle Grambo’s a big fan from the WAYback, but her latest novel is getting mixed reviews. Michiko hated it (obvs), but EW lurved it.

• —18 years, EIGHTEEEN YEARS!

• —Just because Kurt Anderson comes off like a real jabroni in person doesn’t mean that dude isn’t pretty brills when it comes to thinking about the future of the future. For instance, he’s got a real smaht thinkpiece in the new issue of New York Mag heralding web video as the future of the newspaper business. On that note, just wait until The Grizz gets jiggy with his Wrestlemania XXIII coverage over at DetNews.com! [via ETP]

• —Winehouse? More like Cokenose.

• —It’s Creation Records Week over at Send Me Dead Flowers. Curated by one of whatevs (dot org)’s original old skool fools, Kegzies, S.M.D.F. has become a morning must-stop on the Information Superhighway.

And now, as promised, the video for second single off the new Charlotte Hatherley record, “I Want You To Know”…

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• When Damizz was in town a couple weekends back, we abstained from pounding beers for a few hours so we could catch an afternoon screening of “The Hitcher” at the local googleplex. And you know what? It was surprisingly best. Before Lindsay pounces on me, let me clarify. It wasn’t nearly as best as, say, “The Descent”, but it was def WAY more enjoyable than the other nu-wave horror remakes (”The Hills Have Eyes”, “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”) that have been released under the Michael Bay banner. And man oh man, how come no one ever told me that Sophia Bush was such a Backstage Betty? Her shower scene was worth the $11 alone. Recommendation? Netflix that sh*t, holmes.

• Speaking of Michael Bay sanctioned horror flicks, you just know that “The Hills Have Eyes 2″ is going to be terrible con carne. That said, the teaser trailer is definitely Boobs McGee.

• Why did it take me nearly six weeks to hear about Olivia Munn popping her top during a heated boxing match on the Wii? Giggity! [via SuperiorPics]

• Are you a “W.H.A.S.” fanatic who is having difficulty coming to grips with the fact that August 3rd is still a full seven months away? Fear not, my friends. “The Michael Showalter Showalter” ought to tide you over for a bit.

• Is it strange that I prefer reading Bill Simmons’ thoughts on basketball to watching an actual NBA game? Can’t some enterprising production person at ABC or ESPN figure out a way to integrate Bill Simmons into their telecasts in some way OTHER than calling play-by-play?

• Don’t remember exactly how I discovered it, but Indexed is fast becoming one of my fave reads. Bookmark that sh*t, pronto.

• Does the fact that HK Flix has stopped selling a region-free copy of “El Topo” mean that Abcko Films is finally going to put this masterpiece out on DVD Stateside? Don’t hold your breath, this thing has been pushed back even more than the equally anticipated DVD release of the second season of “Twin Peaks”! With that in mind, be sure NOT! TO! MISS! IT! as restored prints of “El Topo” and “The Holy Mountain” make a cross-country tour of the nation’s finest art house cinemas. Even you, A²!

• Fire up, Chips! Soon-to-be-famous alumnus Chris Kula is going to be appearing on an upcoming episode of “30 Rock”! Buzz.

• Dude. “New Dance Show.” OUTRAGEOUS! [via DataWhat? and Rob Theakston]

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• Aside from some of the more obvious things that I miss most about Detroit (family, friends, coney dogs), one of the most difficult parts of my transition to life in NYC has been coping with the loss of my sports radio touchstones at WDFN. I’m talkin’ legends like Stoney and Wojo, Jamie and Brady, Diesel Dery and even Eric Pate. These guys had been a daily staple in my pop culture diet for the better part of the last 10 years, and quitting them cold turkey has not been easy. Sure, they’re still accessible to me via streaming radio, but like many of my fellow X’ers, I’m staunchly averse to the whole streaming bandwagon. But there’s one thing that might get me to change my mind … the return of Art Regner.

  As much as I loved WDFN (which was a LOT), I always abhored Sean Baligian. I mean, I understood his appeal — that of the consummate Downriver fanboy — but his schtick always irritated me to the high heavens. Now that Art Regner is a free agent (back on the market after getting canned at WXYT), I implore the program managers at The Fan to let bygones be bygones and bring him back in the fold (preferably in Baligian’s 9am slot). Regner isn’t the outrageous wild man he was during the heyday of his late `90s popularity, but there’s no arguing that he’s far better equipped to represent the Everyman voice of Detroit Fan than the inarticulate slob with least imaginative catch phrase in the business (“It is what it is”). Developing!

• While we’re on the sports tip, Gorilla Mask put together a hilarious list of Bill Walton’s well-documented forays into hyperbole. Example: “Greg Ostertag is one of the top centers on this planet!” Essential. [via SportsByBrooks]

• Talk about SNL revealed! Egotastic managed to get their hands on some topless Poehler buzz. Wonder what Uncle Rick would think?

• If there’s one thing that we all know about Prince Rogers Nelson, it’s that dude is all abouts brevity when it comes to spelling. If you think about it, his stylistic shortcuts (like “4″, “U” and dozens of others) predated the whole IM/text message revolution by a full 10 years (at least). But your Uncle Grambo feels like holmes is treading into questionable artistic territory when, on an upcoming tribute record, he rechristens Joni Mitchell’s classic as “A Case Of U”. Come on now, Prince. Let’s be rease.

• These barely SFW shots of Rebecca Loos make your Uncle Grambo’s head spin and pants dance. Giggity, indeed.

• Sometime last month, your Uncle Grambo was stumbling home from a sake-filled evening with R. Mills and the Stereogum gents when I stumbled upon this place: the BAMN! Automat. Fresh out of a “Lost In Translation”-era Sofia Coppola cream dream, this new(ish) hotspot in St. Mark’s Place allows you to order up wacky foodstuffs like mini-burgers and deep-fried mac and cheese on a stick, self-serve stizz! Not only is the food certifiably Yummers McGee, but the lack of any human intervention COMPLETELY eliminates any of the embarrassment that sometimes comes along with ordering carnie food. If you ever decide to make your way over to this mecca of besteverness, be sure to bring either small bills or a sockful of quarters — these machines only take coins! Totes jawesome, y’all!

• Remember Super Toe? I do. Along with Crossbows and Catapaults, it was one of those rare toys that rewarded both extensive precision in pre-move planning AND brute force. Geens.

• And in “closing the loop” news, your Uncle Grambo wants to call attention to Sarah Klein’s scathing Detroit kiss-off that ran last month in the Metro Times. There’s no two ways about it, her column was one of the most fearlessly honest pieces about the state of the city that I have EVER read in the local mainstream(ish) media. Whether or not you still give two shits about the future of downtown Detroit, Klein deserves attention and applause for standing in such stark contrast to the toothless “We can do it!” puff pieces that run each week in Model D. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a firm believer in the power of positivity and its importance in the revitalization efforts to rebuild Detroit. But after nearly two years of living and working in one of the nicer parts of the city (”nicer” being a relative term, obvs) , I can relate to nearly everything that Klein stated as a reason that she ultimately decided to leave the city. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t miss all of my friends and family back in The D (not to mention the coney dogs and sports radio), but at the same time, there hasn’t been a single day since I’ve left where I’ve missed ANYTHING about the city itself. Speaking from experience, I’ve got a good feeling that Sarah Klein will find the grass to be greener in the next place that she decides to settle down.

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