Before we start with the pop cult vivisection, your Uncle Grambo would like to provide the FOW Nation with the handiest piece of info you’ll hear this week. Okay, say you’re a bit lost and you want a quick way to find an address or phone number. Rather than dial 411 or pop open your phone’s redonkulously slow web browser, try this hottness instead. Send a text to GOOGLE (466-453) with the name, city and state of the establishment that you are looking for. Within 10 seconds (give or take), Google will text you back w/the establishment’s address and phone number. Not only is it forFREE, it is also forREALZ. Technology! [credit: that random in the west village who taught The Senator and I this trick last night]

Now that you’re in possession of the handiest piece of information since Yahweh knows when, we can get on with the show. Bullet stizz. Natch.

• First things first. Take a look over in the first of the two right-hand sidebars. See that little section called “Catching My Eye”? Even when your Uncle Grambo gets to be the busiest busybody in the Eastern Time Zone (coming REAL soon), I will be sure to update that section at least a few times a day with prime time besteverness. Just so ya know.

• Second things second. While stranded in NYC this weekend (don’t ask), your Uncle Grambo managed to shake off the blahs long enough to catch a late Saturday afternoon screening of “Dead Silence.” While the film didn’t really deliver the kinds of scares that I was hoping for, I must say that it hit all the right notes when it came to setting the mood. From the use of the old-timey Universal Pictures production logo in the opening credits to the creepy funhouse score, the filmmakers hit the same kind of atmospheric notes in the film that you used to see during the Saturday afternoon Creature Features of the 1970s (yo Count Scary, holla atcha boi!). If yr into that sort of thing, “Dead Silence” is def worth Netflixing. Even if the twist makes no sense whatsoevs.
  RELATED: So! Jealous! of the “Dead Silence” swag that showed up on Lisanti’s doorstep.

• The Onion’s AV Club got Win Butler of Arcade Fire to break down why he broke his guitar on SNL a few weeks back, which you’ll recall set off massive reverberations in The Blogosphere™. [via Gawker]
  RELATED: Amy Poehler … Revealed! NY Times steez.

• The evidence continues to pile up pointing towards “Knocked Up” as the runaway comedy sensation of Oh Seven.
  RELATED: Your Uncle’s has already boldly predicted that “Knocked Up” will turn Katherine Heigl into America’s Next Top Sweetheart. But since it was posted during while this site was still in development, I thought I would resurface that buzz now. Obvs.

• Best interview evs? The Grizz interviews The Miz … now on video! Howevs, The Grizz loses points for not asking The Miz if he TF’d Coral’s bombs.

• Not watching Brotherhood 2.0 everyday? For SHAME. That means you missed your Uncle Grambo’s cameo AND John Green’s trip through the abandoned buildings of Dee-Troit. Easily the best vlog since Congdon’s tees got co-opted by Disney.

And finally, last Thursday night saw the much anticipated return of “The Showbiz Show With David Spade.” Everyone who’s ever read this here site knows how gay I am for “The Showbiz Show”; trust you me, last week’s episode did NOT disappoint. Although my fave bit¹ is not yet online, this segment entitled “While We Were Away” sums up the last six months in pop culture in fanfreakingtastic fashion. Sit back and laugh, yo.

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“And now I know just how Ultra felt / Now I know just how Ultra felt / As the flames rose to her roman nose / And her iPod started to melt.”

Predictably, Sarah Lewitinn’s appearance as covergirl of this week’s Village Voice has got The Internets goin’ nuts. And just as you’d expect when you put someone as polarizing as Ultra on the cover, there’s no shortage of either positive or negative coverage. And, as you’d ALSO expect, there are even bloggers out there covering the coverage (notably, FourFour’s excellent dissection). So rather than rehash and reheat what others have already said, your Uncle Grambo is gonna take a fresh approach and ask the ONE question that EVERYONE else is afraid to … exactly WHAT song is playing on Ultra’s melting iPod?

That’s right, people. While others choose to debate her the sales figures of her first book, your Uncle Grambo is out there asking the TOUGH questions. While I wasn’t able to actually confirm with the source (although I did try), I’m comfortable telling you that the mp3 file in question is none other than “Small Parts” by The Oohlas (one of the artists on Ultra’s roster)! REVEALED!

Yep, that’s right folks. Even while faced with the very real possibility that one of her precariously sheathed breasts might pull a Tara Reid at any second, she was able to utilize her marketing acumen to ensure that both art and commerce were simultaneously served during his cover shoot. As Jables would say, that’s fucking teamwork!

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• I’m supposed to be living in the media capital of the nation, if not the world. So how come I can’t find a copy of this month’s Los Angeles Magazine to save my life? I really, really wanted to read the feature on Jeffrey Wells (!!!) and Dave Poland (”The Blog Whisperers”) at lunch today, old fashioned stizz. Even after hitting up all of the various newsstands in Times Square (including a run to the Virgin Megastore), I still came up empty. Oh well, I guess that’s why they invented the Internerd™.

  RELATED: Jeffrey Wells on Jeffrey Wells! Some say even better than Scagnetti On Scagnetti!

• AllMusic.com is the most comprehensive music site on The Internerd™, no doubt about it. There’s also no doubt that it’s the most lifeless music site on The Internerd™. It’s hard to put a finger on why a site so best can simultaneously be so durst, but Dean Simakis’ assertion is that it’s a design issue.

  RELATED: This week’s Metro Times features a mammoth story on All Music … good stuff.

• All kinds of breaking Sarah Shannon news to share. After Angels Twenty revealed a few weeks back that one of your Uncle’s all-time fave indie rock babes has a new solo jawn on the way, yesterday saw a veritable explosion of S.S. related content on The Internets. Both Chrome Waves and Idolator were on the scene to serve up some yummy Velocity Girl goodness. The latter, in particular, revealed an AMAZING V.G. find from the Sub Pop Singles days.

• Not sure if its the competitive nature of the industry or what, but man oh man, it seems like nothing pleases NY media types more than the opportunity to wallow around in a warm bath of schadenfreude. Me, I hate it when bad things happen to good people. Which hopefully explains why there’s not much I can say about Chris Shott’s “Blog Ghetto” piece in The Observer today. If you’re looking for commentary, look no further than Gawker … obvs.

• Dude, have you SEEN that that fucking shark? SO CRAZED! So crazed that, if it had appeared in “The Life Aquatic”, it would’ve salvaged that otherwise terrible film.
• Oprah and Bill Bonds. `Nuff said.

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