I got a fight coming up! Whoo!

Acceptable TV. Sofa King best. Even though your Uncle Grambo felt a little bit burned when the creators of the show inexplicably euthanized my beloved Operation Kitten Calendar, there’s no denying that the show’s first season was as hilarious as it was groundbreaking. Over the course of eight episodes, no less than 10 instantly classic pilots¹ found their way onto the airwaves and The Internets. Too bad the audience only saw fit to renew a handful of them, once again proving my long-standing belief that Mark Twain is full of shit. Familiarity breeds contempt? Not so much, not in the Double Ohs, and certainly not in the case of Mr. Sprinkles (a great concept that your Uncle Grambo felt ran out of steam after Episode 3).

¹ Here are my ten fave skits from Season One. One caveat: it pained me to no end to leave Lord Of The Phils and Gar The Unbearable off the list.

1. Operation Kitten Calendar. KISS MY ASS!
2. Who’s Gonna Train Me?
3. Kosbees (aka, House Of Cosbys redux). Rudy Theo!
4. Medical Hospital. The pulse is, um, the heart is pulsed!
5. Homeless James Bond. A weapon … with a twist!
6. Balloonies (no idea why this never made it to air)
7. Joke Chasers. Hot. Buttered. Popcorn!
8. Drunk Home Makeover. Oh, the timekeeper?
9. Shady Acres. Well well well, if it isn’t Dildo and Boner!
10. Who Farted?. Jump with me, jump with me!

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“In the kitten calendar business, the pussies belong in FRONT of the camera!” — Robert James Bachman

With the possible exception of David Spade’s “There I Said It” segments on “The Showbiz Show”, the funniest three minutes of television in each of the last three weeks have come courtesy of Acceptable.tv’s Operation Kitten Calendar. Not only does Justin Roiland’s portrayal of the Trump-esque kitten calendar mogul Robert James Bachman render Darrell Hammond’s spot-on-yet-strangely-lifeless impression of The Donald TOTALLY obsolete, anyone who even casually observes media will be blown away by the Russian nesting doll meta-ness of the show’s overall conceit (a elimination-centric mini-show that lives within an elimination-centric larger show). As much as your Uncle Grambo loved “Medical Hospital” and “Joke Chasers”, there’s no denying that the first three episodes of “Operation Kitten Calendar” have been the most perfectly executed Acceptable shows to date. Here’s hoping that the audience votes “OKC” back again this week!

If you haven’t already seen them, be sure and watch Episode 1 and Episode 2 before watching Episode 3 below. Now KISS MY ASS!

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Is there anyone better equipped at capturing the beauty of a young woman drenched in sunlight than Sofia Coppola? In the wake of catching a bit of “The Virgin Suicides” on cable this weekend, I think nyet. And because it had been a few years since my last viewing, your Uncle Grambo only just now realized that A.J. Cook is TOTALLY revealed as one of the doomed Lisbon sisters. Want. To. Touch. The. Heinie!

• Ok, who watched Acceptable TV this weekend like your Uncle Grambo instructed you to? While I’m not sure which of the five shows will be returning this week, I cop to placing my two votes for Joke Chasers and Homeless James Bond. Regarding the former, “Joke Chasers” seems to be the one that the critics dug the mostest (see: Troy Patterson @ Slate, Virginia “Dont Call Me Vagina” Heffernan @ The NYT); tune in on Friday night to see if America agreed!

• “By the end, all one’s left with is unanswered questions. How did I listen to this album 3 times? Why did I listen to this album 3 times? Will I be able to delete this album from the iPod (in my mind)? And of course, who can I talk to about refunding the 3 hours of my life that were wasted listening to this album?” — Damore skewers the new Bad Charlotte record in a review posted today on RecordReviews.org

• While we’re speaking of the old skool, it seems that long-time whatevs (dot org) nemesis SpaceMonkey is back up to his old tricks! Banished from this site eons ago, he has taken his brand of aggressively durst comment-foolery to the Freep.com message boards. And, from the looks of it, his reception there has been equally cold. User 123456 puts it best: “Spacemonkey. Please, stop reading Freep.com. For something that costs you nothing you sure complain A LOT! If you hate it stop reading it. I mean really use your brain.” Poor grammar and punctuation errors aside, I think this qualifies as a ZING!

• Get serious like crazy! Despite the fact that it sports the least sing-a-longable chorus since Liz Phair’s infamous “H.W.C.”, the new Natasha Bedingfield jawn is catchy as all get-out. I wanna have your babies! [via Idolator]

• Dateline Ann Arbor! The Michigan Daily reports that a masturbating trespasser recently invaded the PIKE house. Mind you, said masturbating trespasser was actually a FEMALE masturbating trespasser. How come shit like this never happened at 910 Greenwood? [via JP McKrengels]

• And BOOM goes the dynamite! And by “dynamite”, your Uncle Grambo really means Meredith Viera’s melon. Ouchers McGee!

• And the review is in! Jeffrey Wells (mostly) hearts “Grindhouse” … while he snubs Robert Rodriguez’s “Planet Terror” entry as “tired, gloppy and mostly groan-worthy”, Wells waxes ecstatic as only he can about Quentin Tarantino’s entry, “Death Proof.” Witness the quickness:
  
  

  “It’s a foxy, half-crazy, smirky B-movie wallow with nary a thought or a theme of any kind, but it’s a complete fuck-all pleasure to just rock and ride along with, and the car-chase finale (the star of which is New Zealand stuntwoman Zoe Bell, who stunt-dubbed for Uma Thurman in ‘Kill Bill’) is the absolute shit.”

  
  Huzzah! When “Grindhouse” opens April 6, I will SO be there.

And, in closing, your Uncle Grambo and The Senator were fortunate enough to attend an event on Friday night honoring President William Jefferson Clinton (or, as his friends call him, Bill). Held at the Hilton New York Grand Ballroom here in Midtown NYC, the first annual Salvation Army Spring Gala raised over $1MM for Emergency Disaster Relief funding. Aside from the evening’s one shining moment (which, obvs, was seeing Bill Clinton live and in the flesh¹), the evening’s best laugh came courtesy of The Senator (natch).

As we were working our way through our first course, we noticed a woman walking into the venue a good 20 minutes late. The slenderish, dark-haired woman was a good 100 feet away from our table when The Senator leaned into me and whispered, “Is that Julia Allison?” I craned my head around to take a closer look and then IMMEDIATELY burst out laughing. Not because it WAS Julia Allison, but because the person in question was none other than Fran Freaking Drescher!!! Up until that point, I had never really noticed that there was a such a strong resemblence between the two, both in their visages and in their figures. After taking a look at photographic evidence presented below, I’m sure you too will find the resemblance to be uncanny!

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Save for one press release back in late Novembs, most of the work that your Uncle Grambo has been doing since arriving at Video Hits One has been shrouded in semi-secrecy. While most of the work still isn’t quite yet ready to see the light of day, there is one project that’s just beginning to emerge from its amniotic sac of awesomeness — Acceptable.tv!

“Acceptable TV”, the show, will premiere on VH1 on Friday, March 23rd at 10pm. The premise is pretty awesome. But rather than letting one-dimensional press release do the talking, your Uncle Grambo will instead turn the proverbial mic over to Jack Black. Take it away, Jables!

More hilariously informative clips about the show are available at Acceptable.tv and Channel 101, be sure to check ‘em out. Your Uncle Grambo has been pretty swamped for the last few days prepping some materials for this and other sites, but I’ll be back with a full post tomorrow afternoon after I get out of an 11:30am screening of “Zodiac.” I’d be first in-line to see Fincher’s latest masterpiece tonight, but The Senator managed to get her mitts on a couple of tix to tonight’s Bright Eyes show @ The Bowery Ballroom, last-minute stizz. Best!

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