Desperate Peabs?
Pop quiz, asshole. You run the American Broadcasting Company. One of your flagship shows, “Desperate Housewives,” is on life support and in DIRE need of a ratings boost. What do you do? WHAT! DO! YOU! DO!?!
Answer? You sexify your show, STAT. But instead of trotting out that tiny trollop on the payroll in yet ANOTHER skimpy outfit, you turn to something hotter. Something newer. Something … prettier.
Yep. That’s right. You hire Peabs. Or, more accurately, the closest thing that Los Angeles has to Peabs. A Peabs doppleganger named John Bobek. Not only does this Bobek doofus TOTALLY rip off the Peabs look (circa `03), his website reveals that he too is a singer/songwriter! What a poseur. Rumour has it that The Peabs Doppleganger, in order to compensate for his inferior bod, even brings a Bill Cosby look-a-like with him to all of his auditions … DEVELOPING!
[all credit for this post goes to Mandypants, whose eagle eyes and predilection for “D.H.” enabled this breaking story to be broken]
UPDATE: More photographic evidence … REVEALED AFTER THE JUMP!
UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLE! It’s like The Black Lodge up in this bitch. The Peabs Doppleganger goes by the nickname of … get this … Bobes! The line between fact and fiction continues to blur. Who’s Bobes? Who’s Peabs? How’s Annie?
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15 Comments so far
1. Grizz wrote on April 10th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
Dude shmears!!!
2. JPMcKrengels wrote on April 10th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
It’s an exact match!
You should hire him to be you. You could get so much more done in a day.
Just ask Michael Keaton. You just need to keep him from banging your wife. But from what I understand, that won’t be a problem.
BOW!!!
3. Mike wrote on April 10th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Easily one of the five best whatevs posts in history.
4. gorilla wrote on April 10th, 2007 at 6:14 pm
Let’s see war, famine, pestlience, peabs in two places… yeah we’re going down four horsemen stizz.
5. Mo Diggs wrote on April 10th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Yeah pretty funny.
6. Grizz wrote on April 10th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Peabs totally has more friends on MySpace… but isn’t a little weird that Bobes has 634 friends and Peabs has 934?
7. Damore wrote on April 10th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Wasn’t Peabs also an extra in 300?? bobes Moon Vest.
Peabs’s Calendar (from myspace)
Apr 11 2007 8:00A
Flexing. @ Everywhere.
Best.
8. Peabs wrote on April 10th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Ahh yes, the bloated halcyon days of 2003. Bobes is gonna need to drop 15 and get HIV-positively sickly if he wants to keep up with yours fucking truly. Shmears.
Obvs in ‘08™.
9. Yale Bloor wrote on April 10th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
Peabs rocks!
10. thigh master wrote on April 10th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
if j bobo turns out to be jewish, then he can becometh heabs
pass the puddin pops
11. jen wrote on April 11th, 2007 at 9:23 am
also weird that they’re both midwestern lads? (milwaukee / the d)
although, the midwest is the breeding ground of awesome, non?
12. Peabs wrote on April 11th, 2007 at 9:38 am
Coincidentally, Peabs was once arrested for soliciting a prostitute on the campus of Marquette University. And that prostitute was Dwyane Wade. Hogs.
Obvs in ‘08™.
13. tankboy wrote on April 11th, 2007 at 11:24 am
Peabs, I think you should make a triumphant return to blogging to cockblock the dude trying to bogart your vibe.
14. pants wrote on April 11th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
i can’t stop coming back to whatevs and looking at bobes and peabs. partly because i’m scared and partly because peabs is so beautiful.
15. Johnny Loftus wrote on April 11th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
“Bobes and peabs,” the new slang for tits ‘n’ ass in 2007.
Usage: (First guy) “Dude, check out the bobes on that girl over there.
(Second guy) “Totally. But her peabs are where it’s at.”
JTL