The Best Defense Is A Good Offense
“And now I know just how Ultra felt / Now I know just how Ultra felt / As the flames rose to her roman nose / And her iPod started to melt.”
Predictably, Sarah Lewitinn’s appearance as covergirl of this week’s Village Voice has got The Internets goin’ nuts. And just as you’d expect when you put someone as polarizing as Ultra on the cover, there’s no shortage of either positive or negative coverage. And, as you’d ALSO expect, there are even bloggers out there covering the coverage (notably, FourFour’s excellent dissection). So rather than rehash and reheat what others have already said, your Uncle Grambo is gonna take a fresh approach and ask the ONE question that EVERYONE else is afraid to … exactly WHAT song is playing on Ultra’s melting iPod?
That’s right, people. While others choose to debate her the sales figures of her first book, your Uncle Grambo is out there asking the TOUGH questions. While I wasn’t able to actually confirm with the source (although I did try), I’m comfortable telling you that the mp3 file in question is none other than “Small Parts” by The Oohlas (one of the artists on Ultra’s roster)! REVEALED!
Yep, that’s right folks. Even while faced with the very real possibility that one of her precariously sheathed breasts might pull a Tara Reid at any second, she was able to utilize her marketing acumen to ensure that both art and commerce were simultaneously served during his cover shoot. As Jables would say, that’s fucking teamwork!
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12 Comments so far
1. Alex Blagg wrote on March 15th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Team Ultragrrrl’s Tits!
2. guy wrote on March 15th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
who… ultrarack?
she looks great. i like what she is about, but i can’t say her musical taste (or label) does much for me.
either way, awesome chick, at least in theory.
3. Gorilla wrote on March 15th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Let’s not bash Ultra, let’s bash Tricia Romano. This garbage was posing as a serious profile of a New Yorker of note?
I don’t wish Ultra ill, despite the Louis the XIV garbage she tried to fire up. But the article was a couple of strokes (and Strokes) short of a full blown circle jerk. Names were dropping faster and harder than the D-town economy.
The whole notion of her as a taste maker — a core point of the article is so far fetched.
The only evidence I saw was that she had My Chemical Romance connections early on, worked at Spin for a short time and works for LA Reid.
This does not make you Halston hosting Andy Warhol Presents Grace Jones’ Steel Cage Match with David Bowie’s Panda at Studio 54 in the Summer of Sam. This makes you a young A&R woman at a label. Not only are there many people in her position, but clearly some are doing a better job, both in terms of finding “important” talent or making their companies money.
It’s great she liked and hyped the Killers — but the article implies her importance to their success. The Killers weren’t exactly an organic creation that needed to be discovered, they were assembled ‘N Sync/Monkees style in Vegas by somebody other than her. They were created by people in the know for major labels.
The whole article is a deliberate wank that postures controversy and import. It succeeds in drawing attention to the author, the subject and a publication that seems to be able to only otherwise draw interest by firing editors.
They say any buzz is good buzz, but you can only scream look at me so without actually doing anything for so long without being completely ignorable. This goes for all involved.
4. Dmitri Jr wrote on March 15th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
I am both excited for and dreading the May 2009 FHM cover showing Grambo getting the chair.
5. JPMcKrengels wrote on March 16th, 2007 at 12:00 am
I liked the old back blog when Gorilla was limited to just 8 paragraphs. This fucking 9 paragraph bullshit just makes him untollerable! Oh really Gorilla… that 9th paragraph just took it all home for all of us.
Actually… I just counted ‘graphs and have no idea what he wrote. But any opportunity to call him out is christmas morning all over again.
Gorilla suck it you skinney fucker!
BTW, apparently 2 paragraphs is my limit.
6. Gorilla wrote on March 16th, 2007 at 7:36 am
I count 4 paragraphs.
And JP, make sure you keep hitting refresh 50 times an hour, in case someone else responds to you.
7. i agree w/ JP wrote on March 16th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
you tend to be very verbose in this backblog, gorilla. save it for YOUR blog, k?
8. tankboy wrote on March 16th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
JP, I only count eight paragraphs …
Just sayin’.
9. spencer wrote on March 16th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
is it 2003 in here? ultrayaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.
10. Jim Treacher wrote on March 17th, 2007 at 2:18 am
“Our budget is literally peanuts.”
I wonder if they’re dry-roasted?
11. Mark Swiderski wrote on March 19th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Grambo, when did you turn into the NYC blog clique hatchet man? You’d better watch out, or Bruvva Larry is gonna get jealous.
12. Reginald wrote on September 13th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Reginald…
I think that this is pretty accurate, although you missed a few valid points….