It’s been a LONG while since your Uncle Grambo really let loose on a bunch of wholly unrelated topics, bullet stizz. With that in mind, here’s some choice thoughts on some neglected linkage that’s been gathering dust in the corner for the past few weeks…

• Aside from some of the more obvious things that I miss most about Detroit (family, friends, coney dogs), one of the most difficult parts of my transition to life in NYC has been coping with the loss of my sports radio touchstones at WDFN. I’m talkin’ legends like Stoney and Wojo, Jamie and Brady, Diesel Dery and even Eric Pate. These guys had been a daily staple in my pop culture diet for the better part of the last 10 years, and quitting them cold turkey has not been easy. Sure, they’re still accessible to me via streaming radio, but like many of my fellow X’ers, I’m staunchly averse to the whole streaming bandwagon. But there’s one thing that might get me to change my mind … the return of Art Regner.

  As much as I loved WDFN (which was a LOT), I always abhored Sean Baligian. I mean, I understood his appeal — that of the consummate Downriver fanboy — but his schtick always irritated me to the high heavens. Now that Art Regner is a free agent (back on the market after getting canned at WXYT), I implore the program managers at The Fan to let bygones be bygones and bring him back in the fold (preferably in Baligian’s 9am slot). Regner isn’t the outrageous wild man he was during the heyday of his late `90s popularity, but there’s no arguing that he’s far better equipped to represent the Everyman voice of Detroit Fan than the inarticulate slob with least imaginative catch phrase in the business (“It is what it is”). Developing!

• While we’re on the sports tip, Gorilla Mask put together a hilarious list of Bill Walton’s well-documented forays into hyperbole. Example: “Greg Ostertag is one of the top centers on this planet!” Essential. [via SportsByBrooks]

• Talk about SNL revealed! Egotastic managed to get their hands on some topless Poehler buzz. Wonder what Uncle Rick would think?

• If there’s one thing that we all know about Prince Rogers Nelson, it’s that dude is all abouts brevity when it comes to spelling. If you think about it, his stylistic shortcuts (like “4″, “U” and dozens of others) predated the whole IM/text message revolution by a full 10 years (at least). But your Uncle Grambo feels like holmes is treading into questionable artistic territory when, on an upcoming tribute record, he rechristens Joni Mitchell’s classic as “A Case Of U”. Come on now, Prince. Let’s be rease.

• These barely SFW shots of Rebecca Loos make your Uncle Grambo’s head spin and pants dance. Giggity, indeed.

• Sometime last month, your Uncle Grambo was stumbling home from a sake-filled evening with R. Mills and the Stereogum gents when I stumbled upon this place: the BAMN! Automat. Fresh out of a “Lost In Translation”-era Sofia Coppola cream dream, this new(ish) hotspot in St. Mark’s Place allows you to order up wacky foodstuffs like mini-burgers and deep-fried mac and cheese on a stick, self-serve stizz! Not only is the food certifiably Yummers McGee, but the lack of any human intervention COMPLETELY eliminates any of the embarrassment that sometimes comes along with ordering carnie food. If you ever decide to make your way over to this mecca of besteverness, be sure to bring either small bills or a sockful of quarters — these machines only take coins! Totes jawesome, y’all!

• Remember Super Toe? I do. Along with Crossbows and Catapaults, it was one of those rare toys that rewarded both extensive precision in pre-move planning AND brute force. Geens.

• And in “closing the loop” news, your Uncle Grambo wants to call attention to Sarah Klein’s scathing Detroit kiss-off that ran last month in the Metro Times. There’s no two ways about it, her column was one of the most fearlessly honest pieces about the state of the city that I have EVER read in the local mainstream(ish) media. Whether or not you still give two shits about the future of downtown Detroit, Klein deserves attention and applause for standing in such stark contrast to the toothless “We can do it!” puff pieces that run each week in Model D. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a firm believer in the power of positivity and its importance in the revitalization efforts to rebuild Detroit. But after nearly two years of living and working in one of the nicer parts of the city (”nicer” being a relative term, obvs) , I can relate to nearly everything that Klein stated as a reason that she ultimately decided to leave the city. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t miss all of my friends and family back in The D (not to mention the coney dogs and sports radio), but at the same time, there hasn’t been a single day since I’ve left where I’ve missed ANYTHING about the city itself. Speaking from experience, I’ve got a good feeling that Sarah Klein will find the grass to be greener in the next place that she decides to settle down.

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